Dear Prime Minister and that other moron that seems to be attached to your side these days,
How many languages do you speak?
At least little Nigel Molesworthless spoke Mandarin.
Do you really think that Pauline Hanson would pass this test? Perhaps another section should be added, 'foot in mouth' English. I suppose she can still speak 'Chippie' although her current BimBot wouldn't allow such vulgarity.
Shorten would pass, he speaks English and Butch Union. Umm, possibly knows the Qld code of beer can clicking but only the Secret Union Stuff.
Abbott speaks and lies in fluent English. There, another section 'Can you tell a lie like or believe one from a backbencher?'
Should cheating and running around the rules using 'Lawyer speak' be a separate section since so many Parlimentarians are so fluent in it?
And you wouldn't put Barnaby in charge of the language of the Bard, although I have heard he speaks 4 languages, English, Sheep Shit, Cow Crap and Utter Rubbish.
Ignore anyone in Parliament who comes from Queensland, not good with English but do seem to be fluent in Coal seam and mumbling with a secret code of beer can clicking.
Now dear Mr Trumpbull, er, Crumbull, damn let's just go with Malcolm, as warm and cuddly as a dying Barrier Reef, I don't think you've given the new Migrant test for being a "Beer swilling, fly wrangling, thong wearing, sheila respecting, bloody good Aussie Bloke" a really good think.
Won't somebody think of the children? Our children who only speak Strine who'll be out there competing with migrants who must speak at least two languages, sometimes three if it's a dialect of the other two.
Parliamentarians should show an example, start at the top of the dung heap and it will trickle down to the peasantry. Learn another language, speak it, read it, swear in it, cheat in it but show some guts and do what you're asking a 95 year old person, sometimes illiterate, probably traumatized from years of drone bombing whose only dream is peace and quiet and food.
So get orf ya bumcrack, take that beady eyed boofhead and have another go at alienating the world.
I, myself, have already set a fine example of speaking proper good English and a ripper dialect of Foul.
Yours in Mateship, Coppy
(see that, half way through a Phd in nickname)