CopperWitch

Aurora down south

2012-02-02T10:22:00.000+11:00

Victoria had it's own aurora last week but I wasn't near enough to Flinders to see it.

The sunspot activity showered particles on the Earth, that excited oxygen atoms high in the atmosphere which emitted a red glow as they fell back to their ground state. Oxygen atoms lower in Earth's atmosphere would glow green.

So here is a photo of the aurora just visible above the horizon near Flinders, our own Flinders, Victoria. Also seen in the photo is the central disk of the Milky Way Galaxy on the left and the large and small Magellanic Cloud galaxies on the right.

The photograph was taken by Alex Cherney.

Gardening sucks lemons

2012-02-01T21:13:00.001+11:00

Especially when SE water digs up all my polished river pebbles, bluestone chips, concrete surround of the water meter and buries the hose in the diggings while her next door who had the leak has it all neatened up.
My fault but I can't go out in the heat so I've been waiting for a cool day to get into that corner and fix everything. I did pick the hose up while waiting for the taxi yesterday and put it on the hose reel which is when I realised how much of it was buried. And they chipped the ear off my concrete pig. So I haven't found much of the concrete surround but I can't say anything because that could have been the fencer or SE water because with my dodgy memory I can't think whether it was still there after the fence but I'm sure it was.
When the ex left, my first foray into the garden was to uncover the water meter, I used the concrete that used to be on the gully trap (so it is over 30 years old and fragile) then put bluestone chips around to stop the weeds. Now that was a task in itself, I'd fill a bucket with chips and sand and sieve out the sand and I did this so many times until I had enough. Then every pension day I'd buy a bag of polished river pebbles and put them on top. It was very satisfying to see the reader just flip the top instead of digging to China.
Now I have a new meter which they put in without notifying me which is below ground level so I'm out raking dirt and pebbles before Eric the Mower takes his eye out and finding my precious river rocks. I was not a happy camper and honestly I can't be bothered going through the crap with SE water complaints.
I nearly fell over so many times because I can't kneel so it's all bending from the hips and does the head go woozy after 30 mins of that. So I have half a bucket of pebbles and bluestone around the water meter, several homeless spiders and a one eared pig.
The concrete pig, I know you're wondering. Count Creepula's brilliant idea to buy a concrete animal corresponding to the current Chinese New Year animal went on for quite a few years and then I inherited my mother's concrete collection of gnomes and assorted beings so the yard is a minefield when the grass grows long. Fortunately Eric the Mower knows where they're all hidden.

Welcome February.

2012-02-01T11:46:00.001+11:00

I won't be getting any bouquets for Valentine's Day so I thought I'd give myself some roses.
Goodbye to January, a month that didn't do much for my peace of mind or my blood glucose levels.
We lost a few at the Home too. Dear Angela just went to sleep and forgot to wake up so now mum doesn't have to watch a hand creep up to gently remove her shawl. Angela rather liked mum's shawl. Another resident is 50/50 at the Alfred at the moment. And the escapee made two more attempts. This time my sister saw him wander past the window and did a double take when she saw him a few seconds later haring up the street. The man can barely stand up without falling over but give him a go at a fence and he's a nag going for the Grand National.
A group of us took mum out to The Bridge Hotel or Doyle's which ever century you were born in. The special of the day was Burramundi but overpriced and overcooked, I should have gone for the flathead tails in beer batter. The desserts, on the other hand, were delicious. I used my new digital camera and took a ravishing shot of my double chocolate mousse cake. Unfortunately it was the day after Australia Day and the place was packed, noisy with kids but a beaut view of Mordialloc creek. Mum was very tired and was asleep before 6 and didn't wake all night.
Have I announced I'm going to be a great aunt? I thought I'd stay away from that subject, blood pressure isn't the best in summer. Have they found a place to live, don't know. Has he found a full time job to provide for the baby, don't know. Are they taking this seriously, don't know. Keep in mind that they are 30 and 39 years old and still can't manage life. So he is still living here, she is still with her parents and nothing is happening except a life is growing. June 1st is the deadline when everything in this house that is his including the crap in the carport, every bolt, screw and spanner has to be gone. Yes, I know it was a shock but deal with it Kiddo and give me back my solitary life. No baby sitting, absolutely no baby sitting and to my sister, no, I won't be lonely so if you turn up here with a kitten I'll deck you.
In 7 days time my granddaughter will be 20 years old. I have not seen her for three years and have had just 3 photographs of her. The youngest has turned 18 and I haven't heard if she made the grade for university. After all these years I still loathe their mother even if I do understand her nature but she still reigns as Queen Bitch of the Universe.
So BGL is crap, blood pressure is crap, emotionally I'm crap, Achilles tendon is crap, knees are both crap, spine is crap, swollen left leg is crap. Yes, January 2012 was not a great month.
February might be better, it only has 29 days.

Two mysteries

2012-01-26T12:44:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I received an email from a nice bank security site that asked me for my details to ensure that I wasn't being hacked. Okay so that was easy to suss out and delete.
The next one took me a while. A phone call purporting to be from Telstra telling me that because I was an excellent payer of my bills I was going to get a discount. Need I tell you that it sounded like the Peter Sellers Memorial call centre. They weren't asking me to change from Telstra which is why is took some time to get suspicious and even now, I might be wrong. The discounts sounded great apart from the fact that I don't make STD calls even capped at 90c. But they had my phone number, my 2nd right name and address (SE water has the 1st right name) and asked for my birthdate as confirmation, no problems as every company I deal with does that. After complimenting me on not sounding as though I was born in l948 (never getting a webcam, never) she asked for my ABN for the business I was running. No ABN, so to get this wonderful discount, could I give them my pension card number. By this time I was getting a bit stroppy about how much information Telstra had but was asking to be verified and the pension number was the last straw. I yelled and was handed over to a supervisor who was also told that I do not give out my pension number or my credit card number over the phone.
The supervisor was tough, she kept going on about the wonderful discount if only I would hand over that number. The yelling got louder on my end and I won by hanging up but I did say thank you first.
I thought about ringing Telstra and asking if there was a wonderful discount but with my luck I'd be straight through to the PSMCC.

There was a third mystery involving a deceased black bird under the apple tree. There are no cats around, I didn't think a possum would beat a bird, the ravens just scare them away so how did Blackie die?
I was watching the lorikeets in the apple tree this morning, it's right outside the back door, no more than the footpath away. I only keep the tree and its wormy apples for the birds, keep it cut flat on the house side but let it run wild on the lawn side. They all crowd under it when it's screaming hot. So, I'm watching the upside down bird munching away in the tree while under are pigeons, black birds and mynahs eating seed or bathing in the drinking water, little sods. The up bird munches through a vital holding twig and down comes the apple and misses a pigeon by a bee's appendage. All the others took off for the rotary line but I think lucky was a bit wonky from the shockwave and just stood there looking at the apple (or possibly an avian Newton pondering gravity) while Lorikeet moved up to the next level apple.
So it's possible that's how Blackie was topped.

You'll have to wait a bit..

2012-01-25T19:06:00.000+11:00

I announce the arrival of a digital camera in the house.
This morning I photographed my first bird in the apple tree and it was a lorrikeet.
The second photo was much better when I discovered the telephoto lens and I could actually see the bird in the leaves scoffing an apple.
I managed to get the charger assembled, yes, only two parts but it took the best part of an hour to read instructions and follow.
I'm getting used to holding the camera still and not waving it all over the place but being short sighted I have to put my glasses on top of my head to see what I'm looking at through the view thingy.
Now I have a grand total of one image of mother and 3 images of a bird and 4 deleted of me.
I have to load the software so I can load the images and that should take about a month.
Honestly would it kill manufacturers to paint the teeny tiny icons in white so I can see what I'm supposed to do.
The camera is a lovely bright red so I can't lose it, unfortunately the mobile is also bright red so I can't lose it. I do see some confusion in the future.
The salesperson was very helpful when I showed him my 7 year old mobile phone and told him I was still carrying the instructions and I wanted a camera for dummies. He put the battery and the memory card in the camera, very slowly so I could follow him. That really was a help since I now can't figure out how to get the bottom open. I had enough trouble with the cover over the charging doover.

So I still have 12 exposures on the big camera from last year and I'll use them up for old times sake then store it with its instruction book which I started to read. Well who knew that odd little piece on the end of the plastic bit on the strap was to put in the hole on top to rewind the film. I just used to keep clicking until the film gave up and rewound itself. 11 years to find that out. You could be waiting a long time for a digital post around here.

Wowie!

2012-01-25T11:00:00.000+11:00

It seems the sun chucked a wobbly last week and earth copped the fallout of electrons, protons and ions.
Most of the cloud passed over us but the magnetosphere managed to get a share and in the high northern latitudes had a spectacular showing of auroras.

This image was taken above Grotfjord, Norway by Bjorn Jorgens.

A more powerful solar flare occurred yesterday so we'll have more brilliant photographs in the next week.

I just had to share.

2012-01-17T20:02:00.002+11:00

Remember that nice little Burmese glass fairy light that no-one else liked except me?
This is just as sweet and would look lovely in an entrance hall. The soft light reflected back is very kind to old skin, wrinkles and sagging everything else.
The only drawback are the colours which are the Burmese glass colours but too, too pink.
See how easy it is to stuff up something so gorgeous.

By the way, a sea-going world cruise is off the Bucket List.

Meet me whale mate

2012-01-15T14:29:00.002+11:00

Another ' what is it' moment but honestly don't click and enlarge.

It's the vertebrae of a basking shark. They've been overfished thanks to their highly valued fins and are now on the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species. They don't reproduce quickly, having low fertility, are slow growing, long lived but slow to mature.

This is what a basking shark does best. Lazes at the surface of the sea with mouth (what a north and south it is) open, filter feeding on zooplankton. In one hour they can filter enough water to fill an Olympic-size swimmig pool.

They are the second largest fish behind whale sharks but not much is known about their habits. Pregnant females and and young have never been spotted and they disappear for half the year. Scientists have tagged them but since they live for 50 years or more and the tags fall off after a year, it's hard to follow their migration patterns.

Which is where this section of vertebrae comes in. Like tree rings, the vertebrae consists of distinct layers of tissue laid down sequentially over an individual's life time in an alternating light/dark banding pattern. Using vertebrae from sharks that have stranded on beaches, scientists are looking for a radioactive isotope from nuclear bomb blasts set off in the l950s. the residue which fell all over us and the ocean. Different areas of the ocean have different ratios of stable carbon and nitrogen isotopes so when overlain on a map of the ocean, they create distinct isotope patches and when the whales eat the plankton in these patches it shows up in the layers and in time will enable scientists to map their migration pathways.
Knowing where and when they go will help form a plan of conservation that will also help whale sharks and great whites thanks to the research of Li Ling Hamady.

As you can see in this map, colour variations represent different ratios of nitrogen isotopes in the ocean.

Burmese Glass

2012-01-13T17:42:00.001+11:00

The beautiful shading of Burmese Glass is something glorious. Queen Victoria is credited with naming this as it reminded her of a sunset in Burma. Antique ware is rare but Fenton Glass is still manufacturing items. The surface was finished with acid giving it a satin look.

This lovely vase was manufactured by the Mt. Washington Glass Company of Massachusetts which introduced the line in 1885 and produced it for about 10 years.

The addition of calcium based minerals such as fluorospar and feldspar made the glass opaque then a small amount of gold was added for the top pink portion. A moderate amount of uranium oxide was used to produce the soft yellow tone. This is a Webb mother of pearl finish with a painted overlay

This vase is similar but is called Peachblow, the bottom is pink to red at the top and is not satin finished. It has a raised gold painted overlay.

This has to be my favourite. Burmese glass was used for fairy lights and they are still being produced. This is an example of late Victorian work and I really want this on my dressing table. The soft glow of a tealight candle would show up the hand painted butterfly to perfection. The delicate colour of the fluted edge is just me.

Slaving at the Home

2012-01-10T20:03:00.002+11:00

I am so tired I could sing "ole Man River" and sound like Paul Robeson.
How can a woman in a wheel chair collect so much junk that it filled two candy striped bags from the $2 Emporium?
She just looked at me and said I didn't put it up there, up there being the topmost cupboard which is above the clothes wardrobe.
I tidied all the clothes last week and the drawers. I put her heavy winter things in a garbage bag and put it on the floor of the wardrobe after taking one look at the top cupboard where several plastic bags of clothes threatened to fall on my head.
So I go down today armed with four bags to pack her clothes neatly until next winter and it looks like there will be a next winter. I tell you this woman will outlast cockroaches.
There are only two small bags of clothes and night dresses, the light ones she feels too cold to wear. I'm hoping the nighties will fit my lardarse in which case I won't have to break into the emergency 'going to hospital' brand new nightdresses.
The rest of the space was taken up by an empty box that the cd player came in. A plastic bag full of books belonging to Gail who'd like them back but it's been over a year since her ma raced up that stairway to paradise and she hasn't been seen. But just in case I put them in the bookcase library. I'm glad they didn't fall on my head, damned heavy trying to get them out from the back of the stupid deep cupboard.
Then two lots of lace in bags. She'd gone through all that lace I'd taken down for the activities room two years ago and why? She hid them up there because they were her favourite pieces and she didn't want to share.
Also on the heavy side, 3 parcels of Christmas cards, envelopes (I don't have any envelopes, can you bring me some etc....)and Christmas stickers (expensive ones).
Of course she didn't put them up there, she got one of her lackeys to do it.
They're home now, ready to be put with the rest of the dresses she'll never wear again but isn't quite ready to part with yet. My sister would throw them out but I can't, I remember where we bought the material and what I usually bought in the jewellery line to go on them.
I'll go through the cards, throw out the really crappy ones, cut up the good ones and put them in the Christmas box for next card season.
You see how my year has progressed to next Christmas already. Still if I don't do it now, I'll have to at some stage.
No, I haven't finished the Christmas brooch tree.
No, I haven't finished or started the gold crackling on the frame for the tree.

Speaking of cockroaches, we were way up there, somewhere. There was a huge one in the BOH's room and I was going to shove the critter in one of his work sneakers to see if they really could survive anything but I took pity on him and threw him out the front door for the magpies to chase. He was a biggun and so's the huntsman that's disappeared from his usual corner. I swear on New Year's Eve I had a tribe of possums sitting on the roof watching the fireworks and being very merry considering the noise of kerthumping over the tiles for an hour.
I've seen a brochure for a round the world cruise, $35,000.00, it would be worth the mortgage and I wouldn't even set one foot to the ground in any country where there were people.
Oh, and I thought I might take up Scuba lessons but then I thought of me in a wet suit. The headlines, "Unusual whale sighted off Mentone Beach. Scientists baffled! Aussie Disposals rushed for harpoons."

Life is like a box of chocolates especially if the box is full of empty wrappers.

Glass Pretties

2012-01-09T17:28:00.000+11:00

I have had so much trouble dragging my brain into 2012 so I'm making an effort to post a teaser subject. I had to read about these so look and learn.

They are from the period 1850 - 1910. Pretty aren't they, gorgeous colours and I bet you can't tell me what they are. You couldn't because I didn't know and I'm rooly smart.
These glass balls with a handle length neck and fragile walls were filled with a chemical, carbon tetrachloride or an ammonia/salt water solution and, wait for it, were an early form of fire extinguisher.

These fire grenades were mounted on walls in homes, hotels, schools and churches. Thrown at a burning area, they would break and the chemical would eliminate any oxygen, albeit briefly, to help extinguish the flames.

The most common shape were balls about 6 inches in diameter and were fluted, quilted, diamond patterned or embossed with the makers name. The colours were beautiful, cobalt blue, green, amber, clear or ruby red.
They went the way of the dinosaurs when hose style fire extinguishers took over in the early 1900's. Much more effective but not quite as pretty.
Now I have to find a title that won't bring budding terrorists to the blog looking for grenades.

One last ChrisPic

2011-12-30T18:05:00.000+11:00

Here we go, just one last Christmas Picture and only because if the weather bureau is correct, then for the next few days we're all going to want to be plonked on an iceberg with the penguins.

Me Mam doesn't want me to be wandering around in the hot sun so I get to stay home with the air-con and read the extremely expensive book I indulged myself for Christmas. I've only flicked through it so far but Boucheron makes lovely jools and a sneak through their archives shows who bought and re-sold what and for whom. All the 'Grande Horizontals' of the Fin de Siecle were customers of Boucheron and I was surprised by how many of them survived well into the 20th Century. La Belle Otero and Liane de Pougy were courtesans and great rivals in men and jewellery. Liane heard that Otero intended to dine at Maxim's wearing every jewell she possessed. She allowed La Belle to arrive then entered wearing a simple white dress without a single ornament, but followed by her maid, who, according to which version you like, was bowed down by a burden of diamonds or carrying a large cushion of Madame's jewells. Such a grand putdown almost as good as the swipe to the Duchess of Windsor, who put on a show of her latest emeralds only to hear a Maharani comment that she had been wearing those gems on her ankles only months before. They were returned to the jeweller the next day.

So I had another day at the Home where I picked up the escapee twice when he fell, called the bingo and had my suggestion of a small jumble sale hailed as good fun. It will be combined with a sausage sizzle, a car boot sale and no doubt I will bring home more than I take down. It's all very well to have a Pink Ribbon afternoon for charity but not when the Activities fund is down to its last $50. Fortunately it's now looking a bit more healthy with sales of Coppy brooches going like the clappers.

I have booze, dvds and San Churro chocs for tomorrow night and just me alone with myself, the perfect New Year's Eve.

It's all go at The Home.

2011-12-27T16:38:00.000+11:00

I've just arrived home from a quick dash to Harris Scarfe for the BOH's Christmas present.
A set of scales that tell you everything including how many calories you need to keep your present weight or lose weight, $169.00 reduced to $49.95. Bargain.

I've been at the Home for the post Boxing Day BBQ. I have to say that the new head girl has a real team leader spirit and everything event that I dreaded having to go to has been a blast. The staff did all the cooking today, sausages, chops, hamburgers and garlic and herb bread. The sweets were out of this world, trifle made with sponge and crushed strawberries, chocolate ripple cake, fruit salad and one of the nurses husbands turned up with an enormous fresh chocolate cakes with strawberries on top. And icy cold Cascade light beer and wine. But best of all, laughter, lots of it. Something that's been missing for a while and I'm sure it had nothing to do with most of them being half pissed.

If this is my mother's last Christmas, it's been a beauty.

And no, I'm not taking my BGL until the New Year. I would like to enjoy the last days of 2011.

24 hours of mayhem

2011-12-25T17:50:00.000+11:00

My new reindeers and the box I had to buy to keep them in.

In the background is the frame (unfinished) for my Christmas Brooch tree.

So now it's off to the Home and the Oldies and a decent Christmas lunch from the new chef du jour.

The Chef is actually a nurse at the Home but loves cooking.

This is his first Christmas Dinner and I keep reminding him about Basil Fawlty and the gourmet dinner that went terrribly wrong.

Bad Santa has nothing on me.

Are we there yet?

2011-12-24T13:34:00.000+11:00

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a louse.

I know that's not the right word but in our house it was. The ex had the bad luck to be born on Christmas Eve and he rarely saw a sober Christmas Eve, Day or Boxing day.

I wish him a Happy Birthday and hope Blondie has all her 13 grandchildren tomorrow to trash the house and wipe him out. I wonder if he still has a BBQ on Boxing Day? I always had a hose hooked up to the tap the minute I smelled smoke. His preferred method of 'barbie-ing was to start with a 20 foot flame and reduce all to ashes including the food. The actual BBQ was moved several times over the years but the wind always managed to fill the house with smoke. It finished up at the front of the house near the patio where I could watch from inside until the flames dwindled and it was safe to take food near him.

The year after he bolted with The Blonde (bottle), New Year's Eve to be precise, I was looking out of that same window and wondering what was annoying me. Grey, black and rusting BBQ right in my line of vision. The only use it had been in the year was to illegally burn the miles of dried ivy I'd ripped off the walls. Rather spectacular in the middle of the night, all those flames but I was holding the hose. So New Year's Day out I went with a sledge hammer and started to wallop the barbie into bits. Well, who knew the concrete was laced with steel mesh. The BOH dropped by and took equal delight in reducing the eyesore to pieces. I carted the rubble down to the corner where his compost bins had stood and never composted, just stank and made a dry wall, filling it with climbing geraniums. They're still there but the lemon tree has delusions of being a giant redwood and is so big I haven't been behind it since I took off my toenail with the wheelie bin.

Santa, Baby, I really could use a chainsaw for Christmas.

The Christmas hurt

2011-12-23T17:10:00.000+11:00

I don't usually hurt myself until Boxing Day but I started early this year. Yesterday I walked to the bus and walked Southland and realized how out of condition I am.

So I decided to walk to the bus again today to see mother, drop off sister's present and the BOH's. I mean this is my sister, wrap the present, take it down to the Home so she can pick it up on Christmas Day after her hospital shift and this is after I've walked Southland to buy it. To top it off, I rolled up and signed in at 12.30, noting that she had signed in at 11.20 except I had misread the time and we were both there together so it was rip-tear the paper and toss the bow aside. Lovely perfume, yummy, thank you Mum. I have dibs on the Estee gold box.

Where was I about the hurting part? Strange dream this morning, very strange since the house was clean and devoid of furniture. My mobile phone was ringing and I was searching everywhere for it. Light bulb goes off, it's on the beside table and I roll over to get it. I'm still dreaming, remember. And I promptly fall out of bed straight down on my knees. Boy, did I wake up then. Apart from the pain in the knees, I was so lucky not to have smacked my chin on the side table. I must have been right on the edge of the bed and the turning over dumped me on the floor.

I want applause for still walking to the bus, very slow walking but walking. Made it on to the bus, made it off without pain only to trip on the only tile in the newsagent that was slightly out of line with the others. Not to worry the counter broke my fall. Managed to get to the next shop and buy two gorgeous dark crimson reindeer in a matte finish with gold antlers. Out of that shop safely only to be almost run down crossing the road by two little old ladies in the most enormous black 4x4. I swear the one driving could barely see above the steering wheel. They looked like two kids who'd swiped Dad's car. Even the bloke beside me blasphemed a Christmas message as the wheels nearly took his feet off.

Now I'm home, I'm staying home, you couldn't even get me to the pub after today and that's a first for me.

Christmas Cloud

2011-12-21T12:38:00.000+11:00

This wonderful cloud called a Kelvin-Helmholtz instability, appeared over Birmingham, Alabama this week.
The name is a combination from Lord Kelvin - a Scottish baron who along with German physicist Hermann Helmholtz - came up with an explanation for the freak occurrence.

It's also called a wave cloud and occurs in regions with vast plains where winds quickly change speed creating turbulence. A fast -moving lighter density cloud, usually a layer of Cirrus cloud, slides on top of a slower, thicker layer, dragging out the surface and creating a wave rolling over water effect.

For more lovely clouds here's the site to visit.

Let's Parteeee

2011-12-17T12:49:00.000+11:00

The party went swingingly well. I've never seen the day room so crowded and it was the best Christmas party yet. The staff handed food around during the entertainment and given the amount of booze the residents went for, I'd say it was very quiet last night.
Usually the entertainment is on first then food but this way it was much better as it filled in the time and no-one got restless. The nurses had cooked most of the food themselves so it was nice and fresh and the only fail was the salmon mousse on cucumber slices which they didn't recognize as food. I gave it a top pass, they were delicious. The nurses were great as they bought out the mushed food that some residents can swallow and fed them at the same time so they didn't feel as though they were missing out.

The BOH picked me up around 6.30 and was wearing a nice new shirt. First time in 20 years, his father managed to remember he wasn't 12 years old nor an XXXL size, he did forget to remove the price tag though. BOH came home about midnight, said hello, had a swig of coca cola from the fridge and without a word disappeared again. I still haven't seen him but he never drives when he's been drinking so he's probably sleeping on someone's floor. The thing is, I now have another car in the drive. Datsun is missing, station wagon is missing, black ute is at the factory with a big 'For Sale' sign but a little blue car has taken their place.
Silver ute is still here, owner hasn't stumped up the cash for the polishing job. Sometimes I feel as though I'm living in that computer game, "Gone in 60 Seconds". He'll turn up eventually, green around the gills. He, like myself, did not inherit the family gene for booze tolerance.

Sheeee's Baaack!

2011-12-15T15:47:00.000+11:00

The new painkillers are working a treat. Not even the lifting machine is hurting and that goes underneath the arms. Of course it doesn't fix the problem, that will keep growing but at least she won't know about it until the next bout of pain. She's back making Christmas cards and enjoying herself. The only change is that she no longer wants to mix with the other residents as much and she doesn't mind not going down to the shops for a coffee or lunch. She doesn't have to go anywhere for supplies, she has enough to rival Hallmark. Will we get another year? Sister says very doubtful as she's done some research on this kind of pain and it usually means the lung is affected but she doesn't want to know and we don't want to have the job of telling her.

And tomorrow is the residents Christmas Party. I was volunteered again to help out, I can't think who does that for me. I try not to open my mouth at all. And non-alcholic booze in case I fall over a walker. I bought a bottle for my own little Christmas, I like the taste of sparkling cuvee but I hate getting sloshed and feeling as though my tongue is dragging on the ground. I do not have the family tolerance for booze. A half dozen cans of VB for my sister is just gargling water. One stubby of Cascade Light at the pub and I can't sit on the stool watching the pokie wheels go round without hanging on to whoever is next to me and it's never a good looking bloke.

So Tungsten Tessie lives for another Christmas, third one at the Home, 6th one since the experts said she might get one. My mother and cockroaches, last ones standing after an A-bomb.

I heart Doc Marvin

2011-12-11T11:02:00.001+11:00

What else can you say about a doctor that leaves his home number beside a patient's name to be called immediately if needed?

Mum is now on one 24 hour slow release pain tablet plus Endone, paracetamol and morphine injection if the pain gets a hold. He was firm about asking for the morphine, insisting that she mustn't have to endure any discomfort.

So I'm off to the Home again and every day until the pain control kicks in or the cancer comes to the fore. When she's out of bed and in the chair again with the cards and glue then I'll be relieved but at the moment I can't see that happening. But she wants to make a card for the Doc so I printed out some great images of Marvin the Martian and we can make a start on the card today.

She was relieved when I said I'd be down today. She was in so much pain yesterday and I could see it in her face and she's a little frightened. And my sister was almost in tears when she rang and caught me at Southland (I was on my way down) and that is a bad sign for old "I don't care what happens" sister.

All I want for Christmas is for a peaceful goodbye if that's the way it has to be. She deserves that.

Revolving motors

2011-12-09T11:03:00.001+11:00

I'm really trying to get used to this new blogger interface but I hate change unless it's a change in chocolate brands.

So changes.......

I'm impatiently waiting for mail so I've been out looking at least 3 times already.

I hear the bvroom of the Datsun in the carport as it shoots off. I'm up to my ears sorting out a trillion of his socks for the washer so don't wonder that he doesn't come in. He must be busy, please let him be earning money for once.

Out for another mail check, gates are shut. Strange, he usually leaves them open for the precious 'built from scratch' Datsun to come back. Turn head, do double take as I now have a shiny silver ute in the carport. Down to the gate, silver station wagon is still there but black ute has gone. Come to think of it, when did I see the black ute last? Wednesday? Cue senior's moment.

Considering the money, work, sweat and tears that have gone into the little Datsun, I may well kill him if he's sold it or worse, exchanged it for a shiny silver ute. I may be jumping the gun here, jumping to conclusions or just jumping. There could be blood on the moon tonight.

Update: Datsun is back in carport. Silver ute is here to be polished. Black Ute is sitting somewhere with a big "For Sale" sign on it. And the BOH has just driven the station wagon back to work. He lives another day.

Christmas suddenly doesn't feel that close.

2011-12-08T16:26:00.001+11:00

One afternoon tea down and very nice it was. I thought I was holding the wine well until I discovered that it was non-alchoholic. It was also a farewell for one of the carers who was the first to look after Mum. Usually I'm alone or trying to be alone with mum so I haven't had a chance to really take stock of the residents and I was a bit shocked to see how much they've gone downhill in the last six months. This will be my 3rd Christmas Dinner at the Home, time really does fly when you aren't having fun.

The old girl isn't too good at the moment. Plenty of drugs, enough to keep a rockband happy but the left arm is not responding to the painkillers. Left side,mastectomy and nasty lymph nodes taken out but they left a few that looked good. I have a feeling they are now turning bad. She was in bed this afternoon after helping with the mini Christmas trees for the dining tables and she was using her left hand and arm, doing something quite different to her usual cards and mess when the pain struck sharply and suddenly.

She doesn't even want to mix with the other residents which is not like her. Admittedly they are hard going to talk to when feeling well let alone when in pain. Her voice sounded unusually weak but was strong enough to tell me to be there Saturday to help clean up her craft boxes again.

But she forgot to say anything about bringing a cake.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Crapmas

2011-12-06T11:48:00.002+11:00

The world is getting weird particularly my world. My mother wears a colostomy bag and I do the fiddly things that have to be done for her difficult condition. It's an hour of my life I'll never get back and my fingers hurt because I have to roll up the bottom with a stick strip and fold over, making sure the fold over bits go to the outside. TMI, sorry, it's life.

So to make things easier because the nursing staff just throw the whole lot into the hazardous waste and never open the bottom with the sticky strip, I thought I would ring the Ostomy Association and get exactly the same bag without a bottom sticky strip opening. No, they're not allowed to change the bags on my say so. I have to ring the District Nursing Service, who rings the stomal therapist, who rings the nursing home, who rings the doctor and then she makes an appointment to thoroughly go through mother's records etc. I know more about my mother's unusual condition than any stomal therapy nurse anywhere. I ring mother with the bad news (for me) and she said "no, bloody hell no". I thought she'd forgotten how to swear, she's always telling me off. "I hate those know-it-all bitches. You keep folding the ends."

She then tells me that she needs to buy a TENS re-chargable unit for the pain in her shoulders. She says it makes her comfortable, my sister says it's all in her head. The Home physiotherapist was going to order it but decided for some reason that I should do it and handed everything over to mum. So I'm going to walk in there with something that has to be charged like a cell phone and could give her heart a jolt if it's not okay but I can't walk in and hand over a plastic excrement bag, ostomy not my sister. I will take it to the office where it will be checked and re-checked by the electrician but I want to know why it's my job not the physiotherapist's. Her excuse was the high cost of the unit and she wanted me to be responsible.

The only joyous part of this morning was getting a parcel I've been waiting for except it was my address but not my name. Bless a company that put a phone number on the return and it turns out it is for 73 just up the street. It'll take me five minutes and I'll count that as my 30 minute day walk.

I tell you, the siren call of the soothing gin is getting stronger.

Throw another krill on the barbie

2011-12-05T15:49:00.002+11:00

Let me introduce you to Leviathan mellvillei, he's the bigger whale eating the big whale.

He's named after Herman Melville, author of 'Moby Dick' and a favourite book of mine.

Klaas Post of the Natural History Museum of Rotterdam in the Netherlands discovered the ancient whale's fossils on the last day of a brief fossil-hunting expedition in 2008 in the Peruvian desert.

When they saw the huge teeth they knew it wasn't a baleen whale and it turned out to be a giant sperm whale.

I've been cleaning out bits and pieces from my misc. file and I can't think how I managed to miss this beauty. I love the take on the 'Jaws' poster. I'm posting it now because of another weird experiment going on. Scientists are confident that they can bring back the woolly Mammoth from frozen DNA, perhaps only five years away from success. And every week, another species is declared extinct on our planet.

Why don't they bring this baby back and dump him in the middle of a Japanese "scientific" whaling fleet? Now that would be worth the money.

The Christmas Gobsmack

2011-12-05T09:16:00.003+11:00

PopularVirals.com

I couldn't resist the Christmas lights and the wish that some rampaging cat would have done this to the whole 40 kms we were forced to put up.

Every Christmas I usually end up not speaking to my sister which is why I buy a present for her early in the year before the declaration of war.

But this year she has excelled herself and I'm still trying to work out if I was insulted on purpose, insulted by her not thinking, her being concerned for my well being. I could just go on and on trying to work it out.

It came at the end of the phone call about Doc Marvin along with a few other snippy bits she threw in and I'd forgotten about it until last night. I am not approaching Alz, I was just tired from the day and sick of her attacks on me so I just let it slide.

I was told very forcefully not to donate or sell mum's wheelchair when she goes. 'The Wheelchair", the one costing 6 grand with a pool and room for a pony. She has never had a pressure sore or been uncomfortable in it and it is so heavy I can't push it. And why am I not to try and recover some of this money? You do remember that Elvis hasn't left the room yet and it's still being used.

Well, you see, it's very likely that I will need it for myself.

BOOM BOOM GOBSMACK!

I have a virus and an allergy

2011-12-04T15:07:00.003+11:00

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I have a virus, nothing major but I can't speak. I also have an allergy from the floating rubbish in the garden when I was stacking bricks. I don't look well with festering spots but it will keep me from leaving the house for a few days, Yippee.

So what was that I was saying, about going to the Home because we have the room to ourselves. Not exactly quiet. The ageing bones (95) in the corner decided to have a day of biting, pinching and scratching and falling out of bed. Until Mother put a stop to that, "V put your legs back in the bed and pull the covers up!" which the old witch did and slept for the rest of the afternoon.

The nursing staff have to be kind, mother doesn't.

Resident no. 2 of the room was waiting to be taken out to lunch, she loves her food but the family rang to say they would be late. She'd missed lunch and now looked like not being fed until late afternoon and did she moan and groan. She could have had lunch there and had another lunch later and on and on and on. Mother says it's no good trying to stop her, she doesn't have an off switch.

Resident no. 3 usually stays in the day room to look out the window but she was tired so they popped her into bed for a rest but she has a phobia about loud noises and she's in a room with me, poor old thing.

I do not go down there for one Saturday and she's in a mess. Where's this, where's that, try that box, try that bag (the bag was very trying) until she had everything she needed. Then I started with the tidying up and throwing out and the taking home for later. If I cut out the card images, it saves time and cuts down the paper mess and any card not suitable, I tear up and she can't have it back.

So we have a full room with me, two visitors for mum and the tea lady and the residents cat. The cat is hilarious, they have one Christmas tree up in the foyer and the cat can see it but can't get to it and he has tried every which way. There'll be no tree in the day room this year with the cat wanting to climb and one of the residents has a habit of trying to eat anything shiny (a new one).

By the time I left, there were 3 empty plastic bags and 1 empty green bag which I filled with all the stuff she wanted taken home, books, cards to cut up, magazines, picture frame (she wants a smaller one). Great, I'm wasted, loaded down with two bags and the taxi is a wheelchair maxi taxi. The driver offers to help me in. I needed a rope ladder to climb up to the first step but I just wanted to get home and unload the garbage.

I woke up this morning with no voice but went on the usual walk for the Sunday papers, had to give the school Christmas fair a miss and I could smell the bbq snags and onions cooking. If only tofu could smell like frying onions and snags, we'd have more vegos. And it rained on me again.

Never thought I'd welcome December

2011-12-02T15:07:00.004+11:00

After all the hoo-ha about 11-11-11, I can only say it was an excuse for every psychotic nitwit to crawl out from underneath their rocks and annoy me including my own family. It looks like they're going to keep going right into 2012.

I have been trying to dry out since Wednesday when I was caught in every major downpour the sky decided to dump on Melbourne. I can count on Saturday's downpour as well which kept me bailed up in the hotel with an unvisited list of bead and chocolate shops. But Wednesday had to be the best. Picture four of us huddled together at the bus stop under umbrellas which kept the top half reasonably dry but the bottom was filling faster than Lake Eyre. The only bloke in the group had his shoes filling from the water running down his trousers. I couldn't find enough curse words for a cheap made in China for Avon umbrella which, if it wasn't pushed into the wind blew itself inside out with great ripping and shredding. My fault for not taking the big Australian made beauty but who thought that stepping out the front door in sun meant rounding the corner into the Cape of Storms.

2kms to Doc Marvin, where he laughed off the double figures in the BGL book because I tried to beat the anxiety and panic attacks by going way out of my comfort zone. Kindly gave me two sterile bottles in a big bio-hazard bag in return for the jam jar full of top quality non-Perrier water. No infection and no sugar despite the big 72 hour readings.

Over to the bus stop then, I mean I was already wet and walking home would soak me as much as going on to mother but Miss O'Dyne had sent her a letter and she does love a letter to open. A big thanks to Miss O'Dyne from mother (she is available for adoption). Doc Marvin had upped the pain relief again so she was looking a lot better than on Monday. Anyone complaining to me about nurses striking is liable to get kicked since it was an agency nurse who forgot to give the old girl the proper medication on Sunday, that's two Endone now, not the one that you read on the notes the last night you were at the Home. Read notes every time. Stupid! Once the pain runs past the medication, it takes a while for everything to catch up and settle.

I will go down tomorrow because we have a room to ourselves and I don't have to put up with the strangler, mad E who continously mistakes me for husband Murray and drop all her clothes anywhere A, usually near me. I have also been invited to La Porchetta's, the volunteers' afternoon tea, the residents Christmas party, the residents Christmas lunch and, goddess help me, the post Boxing Day BBQ.

All I want for Christmas is a rock, with a very large hole underneath vacated by a November nitwit.

*wanders off singing loudly "I will survive"*

The New Age news

2011-11-23T11:23:00.002+11:00

I always grab the free New Age newspaper as I wander past the mystic shop. Apart from the money makers of self help seminars, I quite often find a snippet that's worth thinking about.

So taking a small sample from a large article on remembering who we really are before this incarnation. The reason we don't remember who we are before reincarnation, is that our souls are made to drink from Lethe, the river of forgetfulness which prevents us from remembering past lives and the current life purpose. Apparently we are supposed to search for it.

"Modern neuroscience reveals to us that the conscious mind is only able to process about 2000 bits of information per second whereas the total mind - subconscious and unconscious is processing something more like 4 billion.

What this means is that what you perceive reality to be creates your reality. So, the existential philosopher Descartes actually had it wrong I think when he wrote, "Cognito ergo sum" - "I think therefore I am". In fact it should be, " I believe, therefore I am".

By believing reality to be a certain way, your subconscious mind actively filters out anything that doesn't fit. So the 2000 bits of information that your conscious mind gets will neatly reflect your fixed view of the world." (article by A. C. Ping)

I'm not much good at Philosophy or wending my way through a 2000 bit mind but "I believe, therefore I am" seems to fit into our world more than it did in Descartes time. Considering the small educated class at that time, there weren't too many thinkers thinking beyond the next meal. Animals think, therefore they are but do animals believe? Well that's as far as I got when the gin ran out so enlightened commenters, your views are welcome. Which is the correct interpretation?

And my previous incarnation, a Druid Oracle in the far far past, I cheated on drinking the water.

It's not a meteorite until it hits us.

2011-11-23T10:58:00.002+11:00

This year's November 18 Leonid meteor shower had to cope with bright moonlight but even that didn't stop the photo of this brilliant meteor fireball. Leonid meteors fall at this time every year as the Earth passes through the particles of dust of the Tempel-Tuttle comet.

The image was taken by Juergen Rendtel in the western skies over the Canary Island Observatorio on Tenerife. The smaller insets show the smoke trail of the meteor.

Leonid meteors usually enter the atmosphere at nearly 70 kilometres per second. In the frame are the stars of the constellations Orion and Taurus and that very bright Moon.

Hard to think, it must be Christmas

2011-11-22T07:27:00.002+11:00

Yes, stupid Christmas coming right up my bumper.
No problems about where I'll be for the lunch and post lunch will be the local pub.
Now there are a few things before I forget.

One: watch handling the kettle, the same one I haven't cleaned since I set it on fire, but it got its revenge by falling on the floor full of boiling water. No slippers, bare feet, no dressing gown, thin nightdress. Fortunately I jumped back as it hit the floor and only copped some on the foot, a bit up the thigh and my little finger. Threw off the nightie and jumped straight into a warm shower.
I still haven't cleaned the kettle.

Two: Has anyone had an email from a stranger who asks to be your latitude friend? I had 3 of these, the latitude is given as the same as mine and is a google feature. I've never heard of it, is it a facebook thing? He's been thrice deleted.

Three: I going away for the weekend. I'm staying out overnight, in a hotel and it has a bar. Given the price of cocktails these days, I won't be getting wasted. I might even have to smuggle in my own Bombay Sapphire disguised as Evian Water. I finally get to use my overnight luggage with the handle and the wheelies and my travel umbrella. My travel dreams of going to England for a Hindu/English wedding where the guests were being transported to the reception by horse and carriage was bombed by a mother crisis. I must remember to hide diary and journal considering the remarks about family and BOH's girlfriend.

Four: Mother is in a lot of pain in the left arm, mastectomy arm. Doc Marvin has told her it's nerve pain from arthritis but it could be something else. She's not asking, we're not asking or telling if we do ask so she's floating along on a cloud of morphine. She must feel better as she was out to lunch yesterday while I was home eating a baked bean sandwich. Sister wants to bring in a pain expert which is fine by me but she's dismissed Doc Marvin and the D.O.N of the nursing home and says she'll make the arrangements first. Colour me stupid but shouldn't it be discussed with the doc and the d.o.n first? Polite, yes? She actually forbade me to say anything to either of these people who are doing their best for the old girl. And to top it off, she tells me to make a list of when mum's conditions (all of them?) started and what medication she's taking.
Riiiiiight, not a chance, I'm, that's right ME is going to say NO. For a start I don't know what medication she's on because the account from the pharmacy uses the real name of the drugs not the brand name.

Five: I had a night out on the 12th November with her and the BOH and the girlfriend. I was told beforehand that it wasn't going to be an early night which was great for me, I had a ride home, no taxi drama and I knew everyone there. I haven't photos yet but when they lit the bbq, 10 kookaburras lined up along the fence and they don't mind that the place is vegetarian, they'll eat anything and they even endure the human patting that went on, all for food.
So I'm happy in my special chair that doesn't require a crane to haul me out of, enjoying the slide show, not drinking but I really couldn't avoid the maryjane haze from the 3 uni students beside me and up comes sister and says we're leaving. It's 10 p.m. ffs but she's drunk all her cans from the chill bag, bored with the slides, didn't like one of the uni girls who she said was going to get aggressive from the MJ she was smoking and was going NOW. So I was home by 11.30 watching a movie and wondering why in the hell I didn't smack her in the mouth and stay until my usual 2 a.m. departure. It took a damn lot for me to go in the first place, I haven't been anywhere since the last time I was there in March and she ruined it. I really need some assertiveness training. I should have known when she made a snotty remark before I'd even left home. So I 've spent a week cutting out things for ma's Christmas cards and the floor looks like snow, big deal. I'll vac when I'm finished and that includes washing her son's clothes as well.

Six: I don't have depression, at least not enough to take the anti-depressant medication Doc Marvin gave me. It takes 3 weeks for the good times to kick in but 3 days in and I was thinking, if it's this bad to get on them what kind of Hell is it to get off them. I just upped my anti-anxiety tabs to two and I'm feeling better. In fact, I realize just how hard I've been doing life by trying to stay on one tablet. The blood glucose was levelling until sister stress started on me so now it's all over the place again. But I'm not depressed, just a little down from stress eating two blocks of chocolate but at least I didn't drink an entire chill bag of beer.

Seven: So while I was trying to blog and procrastinating by tidying up around the computer (hoping to find a dropped $50 note) I found this, it has a date on the back from last December but I don't remember it at all still an appropriate time to find it.
*I am responsible for the thoughts I think and the things that I choose to pay attention to and my actions that follow..it's only a thought!
* My emotional well-being is more important than everyone else's bad behaviour.
*My emotional well-being depends on remaining true to my deepest core values.

Eight: I will be out of my comfort zone for two days.
Overmedicating on pills and Bombay Sapphire worked for Hemmingway until he shot
himself.
Sometime between now and never, I fully intend to flatten my sister.

Moonbow

2011-11-15T09:11:00.002+11:00

This is the waterfall of Skogarfoss in Iceland and it's not the sun that's creating the rainbow but the water droplets from the falls being illuminated by the full moon which is creating a moonbow.

Above the falls you can see an Aurora faintly lighting the sky and look closer to see the stars of the Big Dipper, part of the constellation of The Great Bear or Ursa Major.

It's a jungle out there but inside I have a garden.

2011-11-13T16:19:00.024+11:00

Just pop round the back of the shack. The front's not much, all the action is around the corner.

Mind the climbing rose over the abour and across the pergola, heading for the roof.

Ignore the cat. If you pat its stomach the drama queen will follow you all day.

There's nothing to compare with the scent of red roses in bloom except perhaps Lavender.

I have Terrariums hanging from the shady trees. All very Victorian but no trouble.

Lovely lilac lobelia spreading everywhere and crushing the weeds. I do hate weeding.

Here comes the dog with its bone. He's heading for the Marigold patch. I don't know why he bothers he never finds the bones again. I suppose it's a dog thing.

Don't they look shiny and happy until he lands right in the middle of them.

Why are the chickens hanging off the rotary line? You may well ask and I'll tell you, it's a short cut over the chickenwire to the strawberry patch. Whoever said cluckers were dumb.

Fat and delicious, just ripe for the picking. And shaded by the big tree we're treading softly by.

It's a lovely tree but we don't want to wake the boys before nightfall. They get crabby.

They look a bit dopey in daylight but I haven't had a rat or snake problem for yonks.

And the flitter of dragonflies means we're coming to the fish pond. No pristine water for this garden, a bit of slime and lots of strange life.

Water beetles and swamp flowers galore. I never wonder about what has hatched, I'd rather not know.

I can never tell whether they are funny frogs or salamanders so I just refer to them as wobegongs. They like the slimy end of the pond to hide eggs.

Plenty of bullrushes to hide the fish. I have no idea what they're called, survivors, if they live in my pond.

More fish, more bullrushes, no Moses.

Coming right along now, mind the slime and muck and the wobegongs and take a look at the wonderful fungi.

Nature's brilliant and great fun if you poke the puffy bits with a stick. Probably poisonous.

And the best part of the garden is here. Never mind those poncy 'bottom of the garden fairies', they packed up and left when the dragon arrived. He sort of dropped in one day, landed on his head and decided to stay. Keeps the damned chickens in line.

And there you have it, my garden.

Feel free to visit any time.

Anybody home?

2011-11-03T18:39:00.002+11:00

Nearly back to blogging.
Another visit to Doc Marvin tomorrow.
Granddaughter's 18th Birthday tomorrow.
Kim Kardashion, dill.
72 days of marriage and I could tell in 72 hours that I wanted out of mine.
In fact, walking into the church it was 72 seconds.
Cup Day always brings back bad memories.
I dreamt last night that someone was trying to smother me with a pillow.
The night before I dreamt of someone who insisted his hand hadn't been cut off despite the bleeding stump.
I really do need to see Doc Marvin, pronto.

I missed it!

2011-10-24T10:47:00.002+11:00

My blogaversary, October 3. Well I did have a lot on my mind but miss an opportunity to celebrate with cake.
Posting this just in time for morning tea so tuck in, don't mind manners not with my lot of commenters.
Sponge, raspberries, cream and three lovely layers.
I'll just pop out and get the paper plates and polish the silver cake forks, the large ones.
Thank goodness I didn't burn a hole in the kettle and I hope you like the Earl Grey tea.
Don't drop crumbs (with this lot,unlikely) the cat isn't here to snuffle them up.
Well, don't just stand there, get into to it.

A long wait for sanity

2011-10-21T11:48:00.002+11:00

Well on the way back now, in part to River for giving me this award. I am supposed to give it out to more friendly bloggers which I would do if River hadn't beaten me to most of my favourite bloggers. So I am going to award it to a non blogger but prolific commenter until he is barred from commenting which happens frequently. To Robbert, poet, pest, all round fiend from Hell about certain issues but a story teller of old Melbourne life that should be blogged. I know he can be extremely nasty and deserving of a whack around the ears but in the best Elizabethan style, he threw down his cloak to protect me when, as a newby blogger, I was attacked by a right wing woman hating swine. Take your award, Rochester, Lord of Literature and Song.

It has been a while since I blogged. I'd sit down ready to write and the mind would go blank, so blank I'd be sitting here an hour later watching my pictures screensaver. First time for years I'd thought of giving it all up. The cause of all this was an outbreak of air-bourne gastro at the Home and it going into lockdown with requests to visitors to stay away. Oh joy, a whole week, at least, all to myself. Just me, me, me, me.

Well, me crashed and burned. For two days I barely left the bed except to eat, take the BGL and pee. I slept for almost 48 hours. I had pushed myself above and beyond and when I could stop, I hit a brick wall I didn't expect. Doc Marvin said it was natural. Doc Marvin also understood when I told him that going to the Home with the new arrivals had brought up a lot of bad memories of being locked up with the mother from hell for three years. She doesn't remember anything but I did and I could put it out of my mind at seeing her being so happy and alive until a month ago when I was reminded of the recent past.

I have also been plagued by dreams and memories surfacing from some parts of the brain non-active for years. I was advised by someone, not someone I remember, but the advice remains.
Sit in a quiet place (hard when I had 4 cats, 3 dogs, 2 boys and a marriage to a moron of the first water so that gives you an idea of how long ago I was given this advice).
Imagine the top of your head opening up and letting the warmth and light of the sun flowing in.
Imagine the light moving through your brain, down alleyways, stairs, around corners, down into the deepest parts that never see light.
Let the light open every closed door, light up every secret behind each door, look at every secret in bright sunlight.
After looking at each secret, deal with it rationally then let the sun destroy the darkness.
Whatever you cannot deal with, put back in the dark but never shut the door, leave a small sliver of sunlight to show you the way when you can deal with it.

I'm now beginning to think I have a brain full of swiss cheese holes of sunlight considering what has been surfacing lately. I don't deal in 'what if's', what happened, happened, what caused it, whose fault it was, doesn't matter. What matters is to acknowledge the blame belongs to all concerned, not to me exclusively. I was a cog in the wheel of life and sometimes I jammed it and sometimes I let it run away with me. Sometimes it just ran right over me and left me broken.

I believe the crash and burn was a rehearsal and a warning of what could happen, if I let it, for when my mother goes and I'm facing my life with me. At least I know I won't be putting anyone through the same thing when I depart. Departure time is planned for just after my 110th birthday, I have a lot of catching up to do and I'll need the extra time.

Aurora

2011-10-12T13:04:00.002+11:00

This spectacular Aurora was taken by Antony Spencer from Gillingham, Dorset. The image is beautiful enough but the streak of light almost centre is a Draconid meteor.
A fluke shot as the Draconid meteors show up once every seven years but a great photograph.

Never take the piss

2011-10-11T14:50:00.002+11:00

out of an ageing bearded aristocratic failed lothario who is in the middle of the equivalent of the medieval 100 years war with AGL.

Because MiLord Sedgwick will take out his AGL voodoo doll and stick it with a large pin bearing your name and AGL Karma will then sneak up and bite you on the backside. In my case the backside is so large I hope AGL chokes on it.

After managing to get a $30 refund from the incomps in charge, I noticed they hadn't taken out my direct debits last pension day. A pension day payment that for me is set in stone but set in marshmallow for AGL. To give me a refund of someone else's DDs, they turn off my DDs first and I am supposed to be a mind reader and remind them to turn the DDs back on.

So another call to the accounts department. A department that now has account experts to deal with complaints like mine. DDs are turned back on for the 21st of October and I am assured that none will come out before that, like pension day this week which isn't my pension day.

The money will stay in the bank until the day after the 21st, in case the nuts didn't pass the message on to the squirrels.

A nice cold beer.

2011-10-06T18:53:00.002+11:00

Actually it was 3 nice cold beers and I must do it more often since I won on the pokies instead of losing. It's better than LSD, a beer goes straight to my head and all those spinning wheels makes pretty whirly pictures and I can fall off my chair if I don't hang on.

I did have a good reason to be at the pub all afternoon. I intended to do the shopping at Southland but guess where all those kids who were at the show last week ended up today.
Millions of the noise machines in all directions. I came in through the theatre entrance to head for San Churro's and a large cake but they were in there, in Macca's, in the pasta bar, in the sushi bar and the wall of noise would have gladdened the heart of Phil Specter.

I stocked up on the essentials, credits on the phone, tranquilizers and a block of chocolate and my knee ran off its track. So I'm in the pharmacy also known as Robber Baron Central ($34!) bashing it back to its proper place and gave up on the idea of any shopping. They were downstairs at some cartoon concert, upstairs at a lego contest and finger painting on everywhere. The noise, OMG, the noise. One more shrill scream up the back of my neck from some little ferret who couldn't get it's own way and nobody would have had to watch "The Slap" on the ABC.

I'm home now, it's all quiet and I have to do it again tomorrow but I'm going very early and running fast. Then just to put myself in harm's way, I'm heading for the home with a load of goodies for Ma who informs me tonight that tomorrow is going to be another sewing bee. Like Hell, I will bandage every finger if they even try to hand me a needle. I've spent two weeks doing jewellery for the auxillary and pink ribbon day. I think I'm the only member of the auxillary now, the last lady resigned a year ago when she hit 95 and couldn't see her knitting needles move.

Anyway they'll all be tired because they went to Mornington on a bus today, had lunch in the pub, enjoyed the sunshine and the new driver was great, to the extent of driving them on to look at Sorrento because he had the time and they'd paid for his lunch. Nice bloke, didn't drive them far enough, they made it back.

Rational thinking.

2011-10-06T08:47:00.002+11:00

A small victory, AGL refunded the $30 it took out of my account and in only 3 days.
Since it was coming but not in the account yet, I deliberated about buying a new book.
I mean it's a book on 'Sea Glass', big with pictures.

$37.40.

4 copies of New Scientist which I read and keep one article.
3 copies of Gourmet Traveller which I read but am too lazy to cook from.
10 copies of trashy gossip tabloids which takes me 10 minutes to read.
1 box of chocolates from San Churro. Not allowed.
1 meal at the Pub.
10 minutes on a pokie machine.

Up against a book that I will read at least 5 times the minute I get it and will keep for the next ten years and look at constantly.
I really need it, I don't know enough about sea glass except for one post I made here.

It will make me happy, $37.40 for a happy.
Click Buy.
Yes, the happy is kicking in immediately.

Dog walkers beware!

2011-10-02T13:02:00.002+11:00

This council has regulations regarding dog walking.
One of them is to take a plastic bag and pick up the poop.
So if you walk the dog all the way to the park and back past my house, why in the hell don't you keep going with the plastic bag to your house instead of propping the poop in the crook of the tree on my nature strip?

There are some who don't bother with the plastic bag but sneak out in the night to visit poop central. Once you could safely walk the footpaths with your eyes closed but not any more. And I worry about a dog that can't hold on long enough to reach the grass. Is it being dragged along without a pit stop?

We never had this problem and every house had a dog but it pooped inside the boundary and we buried it in a corner of the garden. Of course if you choose to live in an Australand shoe box, after a while you'd be pooped out of garden.

So it gets me thinking of 'Teh Olden Days". The days of dogs, horses and humans and outhouses and horse manure, dog poop and filthy footpaths and long sweeping skirts. The rich walked straight from the front door to the carriage. The rest walked along gathering crap like street sweepers and no holding up the skirt, not a glimpse of ankle or one was marked as not quite the lady. They did have dust ruffles sewn along the bottom of the skirt which was emptied like a dust buster or the lady's maid would remove the dirty ruffle and replace it with a clean one.

Well, you all know my mind enough by now to know that all I could think about on the way back from the coffee shop was dust ruffles full of dog poop. And don't get me started thinking about those damn deep treads in jogging shoes.

Spring is really here, daylight saving and my first cockroach in the junkmail.

And some sort of football ended.

The demo was cancelled.

2011-09-29T11:25:00.002+10:00

I was half way through Southland carrying Ma's worldly goods on my back, as usual, when she called and said the demo was cancelled so I didn't need to come. Obviously someone at The Body Shop did their homework and found out the home was 'high care'.

Then the rains came.

Well it was entertaining, the thunderstorm and resident mix.
Norman going round pulling all the curtains to stop the lightning coming in to get him and Eva pulling all the curtains to keep the thunder out.

Then the lights went out.

Some noticed, most didn't probably because all the curtains were shut. The lights came back on, flickered and went off, came back on. The last time it rained like this the ceiling fell in so mother kept her eyes on the roof.
The road out the front has a habit of flooding in a storm so there was a rush to get the cars re-parked. The last time two cars got caught with water in the engines. It's the huge gumtree that's blocking the drains but the Council says no to taking it out.
The escapee did it again. Hopped the fence early in the morning and was off. He doesn't know where he's going but he knows he's going.

Isn't this just typical Melbourne Show and school holiday weather?
I asked the BOH if he remembered me taking them to the Show. He said he didn't remember much except that I had harnessed them like a horse. Que? Light dawns as I cast my mind back and I was much better at lateral thinking in those days, I used the dogs' leashes and clipped them to the back of their belts. For some reason he thought that was worse. I thought it was brilliant.
He then brought up a list of complaints about his childhood clothing being 'daggy'. I reminded him that his mother did dress him at times, most notably for his kindy photo. The first and only time she did anything remotely motherish during his school years. Red skivvy, jeans and a mohair jumper that mum had knitted, shame his mother put it on inside out and we could see all the seams in the photo. He's currently hunting for the photo so he can have a piece of his mother.

I hated going to the Show. I never had a good time ever. Yesterday with it's strong wind reminded me of horse/pig/sheep/goat odour and straw in the eyes. The boys weren't all that interested and the BOH with his farming blood would nearly upchuck if he got too close to any animal that smelled and usually found the only horse/pig/sheep/goat pile of crap and stood in it.
I suppose the fondest memory was telling son to watch the horse. He said, "what horse?" and turned around and nearly disappeared up the back end of the biggest draught horse I've ever seen. That learned him to listen to his mother. Thank Ceres, they were never much interested in agriculture.

Hard rubbish and more rubbish

2011-09-27T11:46:00.002+10:00

Not a lot of good pickings around this year and boo-hiss to the neighbour who put out what looked like a nice glass topped patio table then loaded it with all their other rubbish. I nearly had the BOH ready to nick round the corner with the torch and drag it home when we copped a thunderstorm. Heavy rain meant the pink heart shape fluffy stool on legs would have been a soppy mess and heading for mouldville and I really wanted to give it to his girlfriend for Christmas or a farewell present.

There wasn't much on my nature strip, 3 television sets large, 1 tiny 6" black and white which broke my heart to dump because I bought it with my very own earnings, microwave which decided not to turn off except at the wall switch, 1 computer screen and a 40 year old refrigerator with the doors off as per instructions. That went in the first hour, mould and all. I am such a pack rat that the BOH practically had to wrench the 3 wheel washing trolley out of my hand but it still had 3 good wheels and I'm sure at some stage we'd have found another wheel. Besides the new one isn't as strong and I bet it won't last 25 years. He was eyeing off the garden gnomes but I promised mum I'd put them in my garden, they can go when she does.

I haven't posted much, err, not at all. Life has been slightly difficult. Visits to the home have become too much like a walk down memory lane. Four years of crazy mother multiplied by 6 new residents have had me clawing at the windows to get out. Mother, of course, doesn't remember the four years at all. So I have been mistaken for a African male nurse and a husband of one newby. Said husband is about 98, hunchbacked and 3'6". One of sister's patients came in and she said, lovely lady, go and talk to her. A bit hard since she arrived on a Friday, had a stroke at the dinner table on Saturday and the funeral has come and gone. Another newby is Lennie who is constantly on the look out for a pair of scissors or a knife to cut himself out of his wheelchair. And the resident escape artist/full moon strangler managed to find a wooden stake and a hammer that the builders had missed. There was some fancy talking to get those away from him.

I'm not ridiculing them, I'm letting you all know what you're in for. It's giving me anxiety attacks and I like to share my hysteria. My coping mechanisms of eating, gambling and spending are in freefall. I wasn't well yesterday, the sun was streaming in over the bed, I was warm and I was relaxing but I could hear my father's voice, "Your mother needs you". Crap, says I, but the voice kept on and on until I was ready to tell him to stuff his harp in his mouth. I get up, dress, get a cab and she's in bed. Bad for her, good for me because I didn't have to cope with "The Others". She'd had a crippling attack of rheumatoid arthritis in the knee and was in severe pain but glad to see me. My father's photo over the bed had a stern look. He never does this to my sister, just me. Damn deathbed promises to look after the old bat.

I think I might go down tomorrow just to see how the woman from "The body shop" copes with a demo of their products. I don't think she's done her homework about the residents unless she has a degree in Doolally.

You're never too old or stupid

2011-09-18T16:13:00.002+10:00

What do you do with a 90-year-old who gets breath tested and blows a reading of 0.230?
The police charged her with high range drink driving.

1. She's 90!
2. She can still drive!
3. She can still find the car and turn the ignition!
4. She has enough breath to test!

I know grown men that couldn't do what she just did.

Just watch the highway at Bateman's Bay on a Friday night. Look for a weaving bicycle.

Time, I need more time.

2011-09-17T16:24:00.002+10:00

It's not my design but I have everything ready to make it, except time and brain function.
This blog used to be full of science posts and I know there are at least four drafts that I haven't whipped into shape because my brain won't work. My jewellery isn't working because I don't have a work room anymore so trying to separate glass (expensive) from plastic (not) beads continues on the lounge floor, tables and soon I'll resort to the ironing board.

After the Home visit yesterday, I left with my sanity hanging by a thread. No, I am not patient with the residents when I'm trying to explain things to mother. The full moon was four days ago so you'd think the effects would have worn off by now but they're still all doolally. It's not the same place as it was when mum went there. Staff has changed and the new are good but agency staff didn't give mum her pain medication at 7.30 a.m., two days running it was 10.00 a.m.
The activities staff spend half their time hunting down the escapees instead of doing activities but that's a bit hard when my mother is the only one who can help with the cooking and the craft. It's crazy that the old girl has become the smartest one in the place. To the extent that she is being mobbed by oldies who like her and the weekend escapes to the Chapel room to make her cards in peace and quiet can't come round soon enough.

I never thought I'd say I'd miss the happy place it was but there were enough on the ball to have a laugh but now it's a drag to walk in the door. It's a drag to be in my own house which isn't quite mine anymore. I keep looking at the washing on every chair, my brain says put it away but the body wants to sit down and cry. My nephew's been here a year, he's nice but he's here and I would truly love him to have his own place with his own things around including every piece of clothing and every sock but he doesn't earn enough to get a bond, 6 months rent, utilities put on or find rent every week.

So, how's the diabetes going? Badly.
So, how's the weight loss going? Badly.
So, how's the walking every day going? Badly.
So, how's the depression going? It's good, really good, ramping up to a full blown open a vein head in the gas oven attack and the only way out is to eat my way through.
So, how's the diet going? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaadly.

Space eye

2011-09-16T10:45:00.004+10:00

So you're floating around Earth at about 17,000 mph and between 173 and 286 miles up on the International Space Station and you're taking snaps.

And what snaps! This is the Viedma Glacier part of the ice fields of Patagonia. It covers 610 square miles and is one and a quarter miles wide at the tip where it flowly into Lake Viedma.

The ice fields are the largest mass of ice in the Southern Hemisphere, covering 35,000 square miles.

Working for the Home

2011-09-07T17:46:00.002+10:00

I do these stupid things so I don't have to help on the fund raising days when I'd rather sit and eat the food.
I've been putting cameos in little lockets and brooches and fiddling with chains and bails and my hands don't work like they used to.
And I haven't even started the glueing stage which is a whole other world of frustration and fingers glued together.
Dumped the 5 minute Araldyte, it takes longer than that to put an 8x6mm cameo in the setting.

The old dears are raising funds to buy a coffee machine.
I hope you lot aren't rolling round the floor laughing, it was bad enough me doing that.
They want it for the days when it's too cold to go to the coffee shop.
I don't know whose idea it was but I have a feeling it was my mother and if she thinks I'm going to train as a barista, she can think again.

It's one of those nice ideas that are going to be hell to make work. The staff have already taken the kettle out of the activities room since one of the residents likes to take it to his room. The microwave is so high up, the short visitors have to ask the tall ones for help. Not to mention what will happen to the cappuccino cups. I have taken so many cups down there and believe me, they have a half life of about 2 days before disappearing into the ether.
Harris Scarffe had lovely pink rose mugs on special this week so I bought them for mother but she was only allowed one and I've taken the rest hostage. When they break that one, I'll take down another.

Stupid weather forecasters made me miss the sausage sizzle today. What happened to cold with rain? It would have been lovely in the courtyard, dodging wheelchairs and sauce bottles. Instead I stayed home and spend loads of her money on card making thingies. She has to get started on Christmas, it is September you know.

Which card are you?

2011-09-04T17:02:00.000+10:00

You are The High Priestess

Science, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.

The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Kristina Logan "The Dot Queen"

2011-09-04T13:30:00.005+10:00

She loves her dotted glass beads, dotting with a shaped glass rod instead of glass stringers so that she can be precise. After each dot is placed she starts melting them at the same rate before adding the next layer and finally adding transparent dots on top of the opaque dots. The surface tension squeezes the dots into diamonds and squares according to how tightly spaced the original dots and transparent glass were placed.

But she doesn't just use the beads for necklaces, in her hands they can become anything. The Amber tea pot is 16.5 x 16.5 x 9.5 cm and is one of a series.

And don't the dotty beads look gorgeous as candlesticks. You can see here the surface dotted beads and the worked dots under transparent glass.

The large green bead in the 3rd row down is her famous cactus bead. Every dot of glass positioned equally across the surface. I couldn't scan the photograph of her work bench but I was happy to see I'm not the only person who works in a 2 foot square space in the middle of a room full of equipment.

Look into my eye!

2011-09-02T17:38:00.003+10:00

I used to make up my eyes like this, now there's too many wrinkles to get that youthful dewy look. Not to mention getting up close and personal with a hand mirror which usually means a poke in the eye at some stage.
But strike another off the "to do" list. I had my eyes tested today and I have healthy eyes.
No change in the long sight and only a slight change in short sight as in, hold the book 20 centimetres further away.
They do a retinal scan now which they keep as a record to check with the one I'll have every year. Very strange looking at a photo of the inside of my eyeball. Lovely clear veins, nothing bad near the macular and no floating bits anywhere.
No glaucoma either.
Very fuzzy sight for about 3 hours afterwards which made eating lunch hilarious and curiously made getting up the bus steps easier, for once I didn't trip.
So much for Diabetes Educator predicting gangrene for the feet and approaching blindness.

I will only post link

2011-09-01T10:09:00.002+10:00

"It is a big change for the 5ft 2in mother, who requires a mobility scooter to go shopping and wears XXXXXXXL.

Last Christmas she feasted on two 25lb turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 15lbs of potatoes (10lbs roast, 5lbs mashed), five loaves of bread, five pounds of herb stuffing, four pints of gravy, four pints of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 20lbs of vegetables."

If you can stand it read the rest but not if you've just eaten.

Memory

2011-08-30T14:59:00.003+10:00

When Mum hit the nursing home, she was lucky to remember what day it was but two years on and she is almost entirely with it. Almost, it's been handy having her short term memory fritzed since I can tell her the same thing every visit but her long term memory has sharpened.

I bought her a book of the history of Mentone published by the Historical Society and I've been told the most amazing things about the family which I've never heard before. Just flicking through the photos has jogged memories to the surface and Brindisi Street where the nursing home is now, has been a busy street since the 1900s.

From out of nowhere she told us a story about our father. There's not much that stops my sister in her tracks but this did. He worked at the pre-fab building factory at Holmesglen and we think this must have been in 1955 since a lot of the work was building the Olympic village for the '56 games.

The main bus along there was the Ventura, still is, and there was an awful accident where a truck tore along the side of the bus, ripping it open. According to my mother, at least 7 people died. The men from the factory came down to help. There was a small girl with her leg trapped underneath a seat and my father, having driven buses for the past few years, knew all he needed was a screwdriver. One of the blokes had a work bag but wouldn't give him the tools and I don't know what Dad did, but he got a screwdriver. He had the seat off the little girl and she was out in no time. So, knowing Mum's memory, why do I believe this? Because my father instead of giving the bloke back his screwdriver, threw it at him. Now that is my father.

I asked her why she had never told us this and she said it never occurred to her to tell us. That's what it was like in our day, you didn't tell kids anything. It explains a lot about why the old boy used to get hysterical if we were five minutes late from the bus or train. And the first time I went out with friends in a car, there was a crash just around the corner from the house. Mum told me then that he nearly wrecked the house for fear it was me. When sister and I went on a cruise, he raced to the cabin to count the life jackets and it was all downhill from there. We had a cabin too far down to have a porthole so he raged in anxiety for the whole 14 days we were gone. The day we docked, my mother looked exhausted because he'd been at the wharf since the early morning to make sure the ship didn't turn turtle 5 seconds from home.

We didn't tell him about the sewerage problems on board or the fact that they had to keep the engines running in every port we went to since they weren't sure they could restart them but he did ask questions when it caught fire on its way home to Greece. He was too polite to ask questions about why I came out of customs carrying a large wooden spear and supporting a drunken yob while my sister carried his suitcase. He should really have said something then, I married the drunk.

Still glassing

2011-08-29T17:26:00.002+10:00

Fashion designer Donna Karan is giving luxury consumers a version of her Golden Delicious fragrance, at a price, a wow price.

The perfume which sells $42 can now be had in a million dollar wrapping – the most expensive perfume bottle created to date.

DKNY and designer Martin Katz worked together to create the million-dollar perfume bottle, which is carved from a combination of 14 karat yellow gold and white gold. The bottle is embellished with nearly 3,000 gemstones – including 15 pink diamonds, 4 rose cut diamonds, a 4.03-carat pear-shaped diamond; a 3.07-carat ruby and a 7.18-carat oval shaped cabochon sapphire from Sri Lanka. The precious stones are set in the gold apple-shaped flacon in the shape of the New York skyline.

All net proceeds from the seven-figure bottles of Golden Delicious will be donated to the Action Against Hunger charity. Before being sold, the million-dollar bottle of Golden Delicious will go on exhibit around the world.

I still don't like her fashion clothes.

The best for last

2011-08-26T10:28:00.005+10:00

Janis Miltenberger makes divine glass objects. This chair called 'Softly Held' is 34 inches high x 9 inches length x 9 inches width. Nearly 3 feet of intricate glass making and I love the flowers.

This chair is called "Sweet Discovery" and is 37 inches high x 9.5 inches in length and 9.5 inches in width. The image below is a detail from the top of the glass chair.

I do love these candlesticks though, it is the birds again.

As much as I like the candle sticks, I have to go for her drinking glasses. Not that I'd ever drink from them, I'd be terrified to even pick them up. They are gorgeous.

For more of her work click on and drool.

One cannot have too much glass!

2011-08-24T15:33:00.005+10:00

James Minson is an Australian artist and he created the cloud mobile above. It took a lot out of him physically. At a gallery show in 2008, the mobile which hangs on a stainless steel umbrella,
was hung on a cable not able to take the weight and it crashed to the floor. At the same gallery, he had a blue chandelier which a very tall man walked straight into, crash. The perils of being a glass artist.

So now we have the silver cloud mobile with what, I presume, are glass raindrops.

But this has to be my favourite, a jelly fish chandelier. When I win the big Lotto and I have my house on the cliff overlooking Bass Strait, with the giant windows, I will have jelly fish chandeliers in every room. James also makes perfume bottles but nothing went to my heart like this chandelier.

I have a new book

2011-08-24T14:46:00.007+10:00

The Penland Book of Glass is fabulous, several glassworkers show masterclasses in pictures. I've always been fascinated by glass and how it is made but glass as art is a whole other discipline.
The little birds here are by Shane Fero and I couldn't have enough of these in my house. The one above is called 'a conversation about eggs'.

Deceptively simple looking but such work goes into each little bird. Even the legs are put on in two pieces, the first before the joint is hollow then the pieces down to the feet are solid and the feet are arranged and melt glassed to the leg.

He's cute and has personality. The body is gently rolled in powdered glass, heated then rolled in another colour to give a graduated shading.

I like his little beady yellow and black eye

But this one is my absolute favourite. Shane Fero named him the "Rings of Saturn" bird and if you've seen photos of Saturn from the orbiting Cassini spacecraft, he couldn't have named him better.

Another artist showcasing his work is Vittorio Constantini, who not only works the most amazing fish but lifelike insects but I've fallen in love with his fish.

Hippo Birdie

2011-08-23T17:18:00.003+10:00

I'm a day early but I want Miss O'Dyne to wake up to this birthday gift cake but she's been on a diet so I'll have to take care of the eating part. Not only a cake but a cake full of chocolates, now that's two presents in one and I'll take care of both of them.

*Thinks* Where did I put the Tia Maria for the coffee?

I'd better get out the cake forks as well, don't want to make an unladylike mess.

Still voyaging with VC&A

2011-08-21T12:03:00.006+10:00

Let's hope this removes that horrible post about blubber. From the top, a matching necklace to the Stromboli earrings. It looks exactly like a volcano ready to erupt.

And to match the penguins, a diamond encrusted polar bear sitting on aquamarines.

The watch collection for the Voyages is just amazing. This is obviously Africa from Five Weeks in a Balloon.

From Twenty Thousand Leagues under the Sea, the Medusa jelly fish brooch.

Back to Africa and diamond monkeys.

The whale pin in the last VC&A post has a hidden mechanism that when pressed makes the whale spout of water appear and disappear.

I lost myself for an hour just looking at the watches of the collection never mind the other goodies.

Wedding present.

2011-08-20T17:42:00.002+10:00

Van Cleef & Arpels again and Princess Charlene of Monaco wearing the Ocean Necklace. It's made of diamonds and graduated coloured sapphires and I'd like it for Christmas.

Van Cleef & Arpels

2011-08-20T16:30:00.006+10:00

Van Cleef & Arpels and the books of Jules Verne, come together in the Extraordinary Voyages collection.

From Twenty Thousand Leagues under the sea, penguins on glacial blue.
Another from undersea, the Raie Manta Clip.

From the Earth to the Moon.

The jewell surprises with the rocket and diamond belts

whirling around the blue clip.

It couldn't be anything but Five Weeks in a Balloon

sailing over Africa.

These earrings are called Stromboli from

Journey to the Centre of the Earth.

Back to Twenty Thousand Leagues and a beautiful whale.

I don't want to look at this post

2011-08-18T10:12:00.004+10:00

Obese model Susanne Eman is saying 'Supersize Me' for real - in her bid to become the fattest woman ever.

The 52-stone bombshell aims to reach a whopping 115 stone, or 1,600lbs, by guzzling at least 20,000 calories a day.

I'd love to find out if it's humanly possible to reach a ton,’ she said. ‘A previous record holder was 1,600lbs (115 stone) , so I have to be at least that.

‘My next goal is to be 57 stone (800lbs) by the end of the year.

‘At my current rate of growth, I should be 115 stone by age 41 or 42.’

Susanne visits the supermarket once a month with sons Gabriel, 16, and Brendin, 12, and spends up to eight hours filling six trollies.

‘It's like a full day's work,’ said Susanne, who uses a motorised scooter, but astonishingly believes she can stay healthy.

And this is what she eats daily:

Breakfast: 6 x eggs scrambled, cooked in butter 468 cals. 1/2 pound bacon 1,168 cals, 4 x potatoes as hash browns 672 cals, 6 x pieces toast with butter 600 cals, 32 ounce cream shake 1,160 cals. Snacking 1 x bag of animal cookies 1,950 cals, 2litre bottle of soft drink 800 cals, 1 x 10.5 ounce bag of barbecue flavour crisps 1,650 cals, 3 x ham and cheese sandwiches 1,576 cals.

Lunch: 3 x beef, bean and green chilli burritos with 1 x cup of sour cream 1,453 cals. Salad (1 head lettuce, 1 cup cherry tomatoes, 1 cup carrots, 1 cucumber, 1/2 cup ranch dressing, bacon bits, 1 cup crumbled cheese, 1 cup chicken 1,479 cals.

Dinner: 12 x filled tacos + 1 x cup sour cream 4,906 cals, 2litre bottle of soda 800 cals, Dessert 8 x scoops vanilla ice cream 2,080 cals, 1 x small pan of brownies 1,200 cals.

Total: 21,962 calories

You can't believe how much this infuriates me. People reading this are going to go on a fat bashing crusade against people like me who do struggle with weight and with all my laughs about just one more cake, I do watch what I put in my gob and there's no way I could eat all that food in one day. She also said in the article that she exercises, that is, she goes for a waddle every day. Oh cheers for the fat lady, she can't even walk around the supermarket to buy the food for the obscene diet.

She actually believes that being this fat has made her feel sexier.

I'd say being this fat has addled her brain but I don't think she has one. And I'm allowed to post this because I'm fat so it's not fat bashing, it's ranting against an irresponsible mother who has made arrangements for her kids to be looked after in case something happens to her. I'm so mad all I can say is, selfish bitch. She has two lovely boys and can only think of herself.

I'm back, again

2011-08-17T11:59:00.002+10:00

I suppose I should give an interim report after being MIA for what seems like months.

Weight: Don't ask. I'm eating my way out of a nervous collapse and if keeping my mind (Ha!) means being mistaken for Moby Dick, I don't care. I am hanging on by a thread and an apple cake.

Diabetes: Stable. I do a blood test in the morning and last thing at night and cheat like hell during the rest of the time.

General Health: Crap. Sinus infection makes me dizzy. Lungs have given house room to some virus that feels like it's sucking the water out of every cell, making my lungs feel like they've been tracking through the Sahara for a week.

Mother: Worried. She always is when I'm crook just in case I drop off the twig and leave her to the tender mercies of my sister. The rest of the time she's off to the coffee and cake shops, crafting cards, with bereavements slightly ahead of birthdays and conning most of the staff into shopping for her.

The BrickOutHouse: Still grieving for the kitty. Still shows no sign of leaving and I am not about to throw him back into the arms of "the girlfriend of very little brain". Still has three cars in my drive and knows every inch of them but can't remember to put the bins out on Wednesday nights. I waver between finding him a good woman and footing him up the backside with a steel capped Blundstone boot.

Financial: Good gravy on a sausage, the bills!!! Insurance for the contents has yoinked way up but the actual premium hasn't. It's the fire levy, state levy and the GST. I don't know what it would be like without my old age pensioner and no claim bonus discounts. The house insurance also went up but that's a direct debit so it's not as bad as the contents. I'm sure they write those clause booklets in ancient Egyptian then translate it into something like English but I can never understand a damn thing. I really tried to read and understand it after the flood fiasco in Queensland. It seems like I am covered for every thing including planes and/or meteorites crashing through my roof but if rain comes in through the said hole and ruins the contents then I'm not covered.
And then we have the Council Rates. Four years ago or thereabouts, I was paying by Postbill, a fortnightly sum which continued throughout the 12 months but with internet banking, Australia Post just up and stopped it, cretins. I rang the Council wanting to pay with Direct Debit but the arse in charge said people wouldn't leave the money in the bank. I continued to pay at the Post Office fortnightly and as long as I paid they couldn't do a thing and I kept going long after the rates were paid and the rest came off next year's bill. So now they have trumpeted a new arrangement, we can pay by direct debit in 10 equal instalments except I'm not, I will go on doing what I'm doing and I hope I'm annoying them.
This year I have a new charge on the rate and valuation notice.
Waste Choice C - Landfill Levy Charge ($25 p.a.) On the back of the notice it says: A service charge applying to developed residential properties for the collection and disposal of refuse (includes Landfill Levy) where applicable. No other explanation and if it's a choice why am I being billed for it?
The City of Kingston is now on Facebook. Oh gee golly gosh, does that excite me not in the least.

And I've found out that if I don't want a smartmeter then I can tell them to pissoff in no uncertain terms. I don't want a smartmeter. They're getting told.

Any good news? Our dearly beloved Lord Hughes of Fleetwood has deserted Farcebook (took him long enough) and has come back to the welcoming bosoms of blogdom. I must go and find my book of pommy insults.

Gossip

2011-08-09T16:04:00.003+10:00

I love to read gossipy books by the people who were there and Diana Vreeland writes some of the best. She had an opinion on everything and knew just about everybody of note. From the late 20s to the 70s, I don't count anything as 'interesting gossip' today, she was interesting.
She met Callas at a Thanksgiving party.
"So she arrived - the greatest actress in the world. She wore black Milanese clothes: her hair which she wore in a pony-tail, was literally this thich; her manners were beautiful, she was very, very, sustained emotionally; she made things very clear emotionally - she was everything you would expect of Callas. We sat down at the table. Then, suddenly.........the veil dropped.
She was as common as mud. I didn't know anyone could be that ordinaire and still know how to use a knife and fork." (How I love that acid drop comment)

Diana then goes to see her perform in La Traviata. (The photo above is Callas in Medea but it was one of Diana's favourite images.)
"She just opened her throat. But I want to tell you that a tenth of a second later I was totally drenched, I mean totally - it had nothing to do with crying or weeping, it was shock. It was total electricity. I had been prepared to hear the most dramatic singer in the world, but this.....and by God, when she died, she was dead. I've never seen such a death scene. On stage she didn't have a gauche thing about her. She was unique."

It explains why she fell for Onassis, he might have had brass but he was also as common as muck.

Not just a cave.

2011-08-07T14:13:00.005+10:00

Caves, water and me are not a good combination so never expect me to become a cave diver or even stand inside one like this to take a photograph but landscape photographer and environmentalist, Linde Waidehofer, from Colorado has been coming here since 2003.

They call it the Marble Cathedral, a network of water-filled marble caverns in South America's second largest freshwater lake, Lago Carrera. Ice fields once blocked the western end of the lake but now the the glacier-fed waters drain into the Pacific Ocean where Chile and Patagonia end.

Geologists believe the colour and clarity of the lake is due to finely ground glacial silt. The water level is constantly changing and the photography is never the same because of the filtering light.

The water can vary from turquoise to deep blue depending on the weather and the time of the year.

But just because it's so beautiful doesn't mean it's safe. Patagonia's Baker River which flows from this lake is part of a dam system that Chile wants to develop even though this area has been named an official nature sanctuary.

If you want to read more about these beautiful caverns then information about Linde's book "Blue Light" can be found at http://www.westoneye.com/books

A Wednesday photograph

2011-08-03T10:24:00.004+10:00

Granddaughter 2 photographed the lavender heads with the setting sun behind. She thinks she has her father's eye for photography and she's artistic enough to keep at it.
She has to do a seven minute monologue for her English exams and write a Greek tragedy for drama, neither of which she'll have trouble with. I've heard her speak without drawing breath and she's been a natural actress since the day she first walked.
She wanted to donate blood but they sent her back to her doctor and she has to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours. It's probably only an irregular heartbeat due to her flitting about like a dragonfly over water but it brought a lump to my throat. She's only 7 years younger than her father when he died and that's when I realized how fast time moves, not in minutes or seconds but great lumps of years.

My Birthday present

2011-08-01T12:18:00.002+10:00

A photograph of my youngest granddaughter

on her way to the school formal.

One down, two to go

2011-07-29T17:32:00.003+10:00

Oh look, Shiny, Glittery and never to be worn by me except in dreams. Actually I could wear them as long as I used those poles, the ones skiers use to stop from falling over. I worry about those heels though, whether they've been industrial strength tested.
Finally I made an appointment to see the podiatrist on Monday and she better be worth $62. I do get some back but it means a bus trip to Southland and a walk past the book sale. I woke up in the middle of a dream the other night because of shooting pains in my big toe, the one that didn't get the toenail ripped off in January. So there I was in the middle of the night with nail clippers in one hand and a torch in the other, just making sure I didn't have an ingrown toenail that had become infected in the few hours since I'd taken off my slippers. Yes, I know it sounds insane but turning the light on would wake me up too much so I used the torch and if you think I'm going to tell the podiatrist why my toenail looks lopsided you're crazy.

Another pair of frou-frous that are not for my fat footies. Try saying that after a few beers. How on earth does one walk in these? But stupid me, if you can afford to buy these, you don't have to walk, the chauffeur carries you to the red carpet. That brings me to the last photo and the joy of my life.

After a week of walking home from the station, walking to and from work in stilleto heels, my first pay packet went on the latest from London. Lovely flat heels, funky colours, painless walking. I paid $5.00 for them, a pretty aqua green and did I mention, flat. I haunted odment bins since I have moderately large feet which is why I fall over a lot, my feet get in the way but with my size there were always sale shoes for the grabbing. Anyone my age will know the feeling that I get from the knees down when I see fashion parades or stars waltzing around in hightower heels. Fashionable they might be but I still remember the relief of those green shoes.

My second pay packet started a lay-by for a jewell. Now that hasn't changed at all.

Five days to B day.

2011-07-26T16:06:00.002+10:00

I don't want to be another year older, I already feel 105.
I looked in the mirror today and I swear I saw wrinkles in my neck.
The BrickOutHouse has got some dire infection and his eyes are puffing up as though he's gone 3 rounds with Mike Tyson.
His girlfriend is back, upchuck.
Crap to online banking that has a glitch which Westpac did today but they let me put my money in without telling me. I'm glad I had 5 bags of odd silver coins that took the teller ages to put into official bank bags especially since she had the most godawful false nails in 'zombie grey' colour and couldn't pick up 5 cent pieces.
I had at least 3 great things to blog about and couldn't write a word. And I really wanted to tell you about the Great White Shark, you know those GW's that leap out of the water and this one landed in the research boat, all 16 or so feet of it, with teeth. The researchers kept it alive until another boat came and slung a rope round its tail to drag it back into the ocean. No go, so they dragged shark and boat back to harbour where they got another rope on the dorsal fin and finally dragged it off the boat. It promptly swam in the wrong direction and beached itself so another rope around the tail and it was towed out to sea (a long way) and let go. They needed a smaller shark or a bigger boat.
I have finally taken to porridge and it is good for dieting, a breakfast bowl of that and you never want to look at food all day or ever.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2, terrific, great, brilliant even watching jammed between a drink slurper and two popcorn munchers.
BooHissBoo to all the columnists who have written really rotten comments about the books and the author. Harry Potter doesn't pretend to be anything more than it is, all things to the fans and it will never win a Pulitzer or Nobel prize for literature so why the venom?
My right arm, left knee, left back muscle are healing nicely. Thanks to stupid nurse who jammed Ma's wheelchair in the door frame. I know it's heavy to push but I wasn't prepared for the feeling that I'd just shoved a Mac truck halfway to Sydney.
The little alzhiemer's bloke who likes to strangle grabbed another nurse last week. And made another escape to the wilds of Mentone.
And that brings me to what really pissed me off last week and this week and probably next week.
The lady in the bed opposite mum is dying but some members of the family will not accept this fact. They want her in hospital to have tests, they have been giving her drinks because her kidneys are shutting down, they make her sit up in bed because she might die lying down, ffs, she is dying but not peacefully. There is a time that you have to look death in the face and stand away, to stop chaining them to this earth. Yes, I know this will not sit right with a lot of people but I have had to give two "no resusitation order' for my father and three for my mother and for my son, I had to sign the papers to turn off life support. Reality is a bitch. So why is it my business, it's not but it is upsetting my mother who looks across at this every day. Even the last time Mum was ill at the home, she was firm about leaving her alone and not doing anything unnecessary except make her comfortable. Of course, Teflon Tessie made it through as always but I sat beside her quietly just for company. I just wish this family would think of others besides themselves. Okay enough mumbling and grumbling and imposing my views on the blogosphere. If you have a differing opinion, shove it where the sun don't shine.

I just loved Harry Potter, I might go again next cheap Tuesday.

Returning soon

2011-07-25T11:11:00.001+10:00

Okay, not so good for the last week.
I haz a hurt, in mind and body.
But watch for me wading through the waves back to blogdom, soon.

Don't even think it!

2011-07-16T17:35:00.002+10:00

No, not mine, never again.
The Home now has a resident cat for the residents. That isn't him but close.
He is a year old, neutered and just out of the shelter.
You know how the experts tell you to look at a puppy's paws to see how big he'll grow? Man o' man if this cat was tawny I'd be thinking mountain lion. The paws are huge.
They had a drawing of names and he's stuck with "Jinks" whereas I looked at him and thought "Snowball" until he turned around and I realized how innapropriate that name was in a home of gentile ladies.
Good thing he was fixed, he'd have had to cart them around on wheels.
He's a friendly boy, all over me like a rash and purring. At the moment he's still locked in one room until his routine is established. And now I have a place for the kitty litter and umpteen dollars worth of cat food.
A visitor thought of calling him "Angel" because he was so pure white. Another name that bit the dust after we discussed it, considering how many residents have fallen off the twig lately.
I keep thinking about those paws.
Perhaps we should call him "Yeti"

There was recycling in them olden days

2011-07-12T15:35:00.005+10:00

This is a magnificent portrait of the actress Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth painted by John Singer Sargeant. The photograph below is a sepia image of the actress in the same dress taken in 1888. Ellen Terry was famed for her portrayal of Shakespearean heroines and was mobbed by fans wherever she went.

The dress has just been restored at a cost of 50,000 pounds and that glittering shimmering gown was covered in irridescent green beetle wings, 1000 of them. No beetles were harmed in the making of the dress as the wings are naturally shed as part of their life cycle. The conservators collected the beetle wings that had fallen off the dress and had others donated to them.

"One of Mrs. Nettleship’s greatest triumphs was my Lady Macbeth dress…The picture of me is nearly finished, and I think it is magnificent. The green and blue of the dress is splendid, and the expression as Lady Macbeth holds the crown over her head is quite wonderful . . ." wrote Ellen in her diary in 1888.

The dress is 120 years old and the majority of the work was strengthening the fabric after the wear and tear of those years. Two years to raise the funds necessary and over 1,300 hours to repair and to bring it back to its former glory. The work was carried out by expert Zensie Tinker and her team and the dress will now be on display, along with items from Ellen's dressing room, at Smallhythe Place in Kent, a house dedicated to theatre history and stage costumes.

This fashionable dress from the British Museum is also decorated in the same beetle wings so Ellen's frock wasn't a once off.

Still in mourning.

2011-07-11T12:50:00.003+10:00

I spent an hour yesterday putting all the dark coloured wool to the bottom of the basket so I wouldn't keep saying hello to it.
Deep mourning is still being observed and I feel I should be putting on a black veil and breaking out the jet jewellery.
How bad is he? He hasn't cared that the beloved Ute is still parked in the street during school holidays and possums are peeing on it from the paperbark tree.
At least he's inherited the maternal genes, the paternal side would have taken her out for a .22 picnic. He never had the farming genes. If they said roast for Sunday, he'd go and let the chooks out.
I think it's my fault that I raised two SNAGS. Now if I could just get him married off to a girl who loves him as much as that cat did.

Goodbye Precious

2011-07-07T14:48:00.002+10:00

The Vet took this photo this morning before the scan and X-ray revealed the pancreatic cancer which had metastasized into the lungs. She wasn't in pain but would have been in a few days as she struggled to breathe.
We, or should I say I, made the decision and she wasn't brought out of that cosy sleep on the table.
Her "daddy" is a blubbering wreck who's just told me the best part of his day was coming home to play with her.
Last night she sat on my knee until after midnight as we watched another Stargate marathon.
He came home about 1 a.m. but the light was still on when I woke about 3. He was wrapped in his doona, sleeping on the lounge floor, his head on one pillow and the cat on the other with her paw on his face.
I paid the account, collected the carrier and watched the receptionist cry because she was such a sweet cat and went out to the sobbing father in the carpark.

A 4.4, pfft!

2011-07-05T17:42:00.002+10:00

These new images of the Nabro volcano taken on June 29 finally provided a nearly unimpeded view of the summit,which had been hidden by steam and ash clouds.

Located in the East African nation of Eritrea, Nabro began its eruption explosively on June 12, 2011 and sent plumes of ash streaming over North Africa and the Middle East, killing seven people with thousands more affected both in Eritrea and Ethiopia.

The volcano has eased into a quieter, lava-oozing phase. The top image shows the volcano in visible and infrared light (shortwave infrared, near infrared, and green). The hot lava glows orange-red, fading to black as it cools. The long flow on the west side of the volcano is mottled with black, a sign that the surface is cooling. The lava to the east and south of the vent appears to be newer, since little of it has cooled. It is possible that the cooling lava in the western flow diverted the fresh lava to the south and east.

The lower image provides a natural color view of the volcano. A small, slightly brown plume rises from the vent, and ash blackens the ground to the west and south.

The Nabro volcano has not erupted in recorded human history, but lava flows near the volcano are relatively recent geologically. Nabro is part of the very active East Africa Rift where three tectonic plates are pulling away from each other.

As the Earth's crust thins in the region, volcanoes rise in the weak spots.

Earthquake today.

2011-07-05T12:07:00.002+10:00

The week is going from bad to worse. Lovely earthquake this morning but the house was shaking so much from the wind, I failed to feel the earth move. It was only a 4.4 but the tremors were felt throughout several suburbs and went on for almost 15 seconds.

The BOH slept through it. The cat slept through it. They've both had traumatic days. Thanks to Safeway's inept policing of it's dairy cabinets, the BOH has had food poisoning since Saturday night. I'm grateful to him because it could have been me but he hates mango so grabbed the mixed berry protein drink before I did. Of course he would feel better if he would re-hydrate the body but he's a bloke and they know everything.

It didn't help that I had to make the decision to take the cat to the Vet's yesterday. Him driving with the window part down so he wouldn't throw up on the cat, never mind me who was holding his precious.
Just getting into the car was fun. Don't put my foot in the bottle of oil on the floor, find the seat belt somewhere, click in shut somewhere, make room for the cat cage and the cat. As we're doing all that, comes a crunch. A branch from the gum tree overhanging the road has dropped on the car. Not a biggie and not on the black and silver ute. (Ute is selling for ten grand, anyone?)

The Vet is lovely, the cat is laid back, the BOH is shaking. He's about to find out if we have to do the right thing or the 18 year old food processor has a chance. What could I do when he's holding her and she's looking into his eyes while the Vet pushes and pries. It's the only thing in his life that loves him unconditionally. She has a mass of some sort which can only be identified by X-ray and Ultrasound so I sign on the dotted line for Thursday morning and mentally gasp at the estimate of $645, that's estimate. My sister says not to be heroic for something that old. She was not the one standing by her son (38) trying to be heroic about any decision. It makes me snigger later when she's stunned that her cholesterol has only dropped half a point in 12 months and mine is yoinks lower. Yes, family units can be bitchy.

BOH takes the puss home. I sit at the bus stop in the freezing cold because I just missed one by a whisker. Safeway tart (sorry River) takes the bottle, checks the docket and the use by date and says, "Do ya wanna another or just the money?". I took the money and put it towards a packet of Gastrolyte which he has yet to take, being a bloke and knowing everything.
I visit mother who says to take whatever I need from her Trust fund, after all it was her cat.

So the space heater has been going all night because the baby is not eating much and is very cold. I am the dumbo pushing its food through a tea strainer and paying the gas bill. I can't do anything less, every night she climbs up the chair and settles on my knee until I go to bed. But the BOH is going to have to beg, borrow or steal a backbone before Thursday and the big decision.

And we had an earthquake today.

How to negotiate the information minefield.

2011-07-01T11:22:00.002+10:00

You don't!
I've been overwhelmed by so much information, a lot of it contradictory, and it's done nothing but dump me in a black hole of depression.
Two loads of bumpf arrived this week and two pages gave me answers to questions I've been trying to get answered.

Carbohydrates for one. Healthy eating is a plan that is low in saturated fat, sodium and added sugar and high in fibre.
The amount of carbohydrate required is based on gender, weight and level of physical activity.
But what foods have carbs?
Bread, breakfast cereals, rice, pasta, noodles.
Fresh fruit, tinned fruit in natural juice and dried fruit.
Starchy vegetables such as potato, sweet potato and corn.
Legumes including baked beans, lentils, chickpeas and red kidney beans.
Milk, yoghurt, custard, icecream and soy alternatives.

You have to eat a regular amount of carbohydrate at meals and regular snacks to level out the glucose during the day. So it's a matter of working out how much is going in the mouth.
There are approximately 15 grams of carbs in:
*1 glass (250ml) of milk (reduced fat)
*1 slice of bread
*100g or half tub of reduced fat yoghurt
*1 medium piece of fruit
*1/3 cup of cooked pasta or cooked rice
*4-6 dry crackers

The idea is to have around two to four exchanges of carbs (30 to 60 grams) at each main meal and one (15 grams) for each snack. The amount rather than the type of carbohydrate is a more important influence on blood glucose levels so low Glycaemic Index carbs are preferred. Bring on the wholegrain bread, sweet potato not potato, wholemeal pasta and basmati rice instead of jasmine rice.
Two hours after the first mouthful of a meal you have to check the blood glucose and if it's high then you have to adjust everything. And I tell you my levels are all over the shop. And anxiety, depression and emotional upsets do mess with the glucose levels. One look at my blood levels for the day and all of them go into overdrive.

At least the the special "diabetic food" products have been ditched in favour of a well balanced diet of actual food, as long as it's low in saturated fat, sodium, added sugar but high in fibre (seen that plan before). So treats can be had occasionally in small quantities.
*Jam. Toss out the diabetic jam and have 100% fruit spread as long as it's just spread thinly and eaten on wholemeal toast.
*Chocolate. All chocolate is high in saturated fat but sugar free chocolate is higher in fat than regular milk chocolate.
*Cakes. Bad news is there is no 'diabetic' cake but a piece of fruit cake with no icing (but it's the best part) is okay as long as it's a small slice.
*Other sugar free items, ice-cream, biscuits, snack bars and fruit juice are never completely sugar free. They still have more added fat to make them tasty which is bad for cholesterol which snowballs until it impacts on blood glucose levels. Besides which, have you seen the price of low sugar, low carb, high protein diet snack bars? One of which I'm supposed to carry with me, along with a bottle of water and a packet of jelly beans. The jelly beans would have a very short carry life but the snack bar is so blergh that it stays there until really needed.

Sorry to bore you with all this but even writing it down still doesn't un-confuse me (no surprise) or do anything about the anxiety of getting it all wrong. I do know now what the HbA1c test is and why Doc Marvin was so pleased the overall glucose level had come down from 8 to 7.5 in 4 weeks. And the Diabetes assoc. runs tours of supermarkets to explain the language on the back of food packaging but I suspect it's only at IGA Ritchies stores since they donate money to the cause. All I can say is, bring on the Red/Green/Yellow buttons on all food and make it easier for everybody.

Bruised and battered

2011-06-28T09:56:00.003+10:00

The bruise is a beauty thanks to the bus driver slamming on the brakes and me going into a steel pole.
This is the same driver who wouldn't put the bus lower for me so I had to haul in like Indianna up a cliff and wrench my left knee.
Over the weekend I was metaphorically slapped in the face by three people so I've been under the bed eating chocolate and trying to rid myself of some very bad feelings.
I wish I could say they've gone but they're lingering and festering in some dark corner of my mind where they'll die or I'll lash out and mortally wound someone.

Actually, it's very strange about the chocolate. I expected the BGL to go skyward but it didn't, almost normal reading. I am now supposed to eat different food and test to see how they affect the level. The last thing I could imagine enjoying is eating an apple before going to bed but doing that drops the overnight level down to the 5's which is normal. And stupid woman didn't tell me that testing two hours after eating means from the moment the first mouthful is swallowed. I'm such a slow eater that I've been going way over two hours.

On the way to the Home yesterday, I called in to the Council Offices and asked for a bio-hazard waste container. Diabetes educator said to get this at the Pharmacy, Pharmacy said to go to the council, booklet with the lancet cartridges says it's okay to put them in the bin since there are no sharps as they retract. This is the kind a round-a-bout that goes on with trying to get the right information. Anyway I now have a bio-hazard container of bright yellow and it will take me at least two years to fill it. Huge yellow bottle that goes nowhere but in the laundry.

The sky is blue, I've nearly finished the washing so I might go and dig out the water meter and all my river stones that have disappeared under the dirt from the fence digging. Next door is already mixing paint for the fence but I'm going eco friendly and leaving it au natural. Life is too short to paint a fence.

Happiness is.....

2011-06-24T19:02:00.002+10:00

Knocking 5 minutes off the walk to the doctor's.
Restraining oneself from telling an expert to go f*** and stop trying to get me down to 100kgs. Ain't gunna happen lady, not while chocolate factories still churn.
Finding my blood pressure down from 188 over stroke to 130/110. Okay so 110 needs works but hey, 58 points down.
Cholesterol is 3.3. So LDL is still higher than HDL but as Doc says at that level it's no big deal.
In four weeks, overall BGL is down from 8 to 7.5. Huge says Doc, who is wearing a Pink Panther tie today.
Vitamin D blood tests weren't back but he'll ring if I need boosting, like a large needle in backside. Another thing that ain't gunna happen.

Dr. Marvin says not to take day to day levels to heart, it's the overall figures that count.

Dr. Marvin never mentions weight once.

I'm celebrating by having a delicious salad for tea. Believe that and I have a bridge I can sell you.

I won't sell you the strawberry filled chocolate frog I am celebrating with.

The fence is built.

2011-06-23T09:52:00.002+10:00

They starting building it at 8 in the morning and finished at 5 p.m.
Now I have to go out and dig up the water meter and all my river stones around it.
There's a pile of Mondo grass from next door's garden so I'll put that along the fence bottom and see how long I take to kill it with my black hand of plant death.
All the flat bricks along the fence bottom are everywhere so I guess I'll have to pick them up before the mowerman arrives.

But nothing's being done today because a tow truck is coming to take away the half fixed VW which has been residing here rent-free for a year. Why do people do this to the BOH, pay him for half the job then tell him there's no more money just yet. 12 months and still no money to finish the car so it's leaving....today....or I take an geologist's pick to it.
Then there'll be room for the ute in the carport unless a fully engined up Mazda returns to it's nesting ground. Apparently the rules were sneakily changed so that one size engine couldn't be put in a different size car. A bit like putting a 747 engine in a Piper Cherokee but the BOH finished the job because he was more than half way through the work. Everything was passed except for the tuning which he paid another 'professional' for and it wasn't done professionally so the little beast had a nice smoke trail. The nephew has this problem constantly, he does his job with every care while everyone around him faffs it. The seats are in, engine re-built, tyres on and now for the panel beating and painting. To be really authentic, it should be the original colour but even I would baulk at bilious lime green so it's going to be his favourite colour, black, quel surprise!
It doesn't pay to be an honest workman sometimes. The ute hasn't been sold because the gear box hasn't been fine tuned by a mate who was supposed to help in return for help with a panel beating problem and that was more than six months ago. It's the only thing he can't do himself.
It looks so nice in the drive, all black and shiny silver. And this is the work of someone who has trouble putting a fitted sheet on a mattress.

I have another visit to the doc's tomorrow and another hour with the pain in the butt Diabetes Educator. The one who insisted I have 3 meals a day and 3 snacks and guess who's put on weight? I told her I would, my body doesn't understand 3 meals, 3 snacks, it understands 6 lots of food, no matter how small. I've been to this clinic 3 times now and 3 times the receptionists have misdirected, misinformed and confused me. Monday was no exception. A simple blood test for which I walked in the freezing cold for. We don't do blood tests here in spite of the fact that the last blood test I had was done there and even she forgot to do the Zinc test so had to ring and make sure I put a large sign on the form to remind her. Snooty receptionist went off to confirm and said they could fit me in at midday and it was only 11.25 so I waited. Midday comes and so does a work accident kid and I get the bum's rush. Out to catch a bus in the same freezing wind and have the blood test in Mentone which I could have done by catching the bus at 10 o'clock. Pathology has to confirm the Zinc test, nearly 10 minutes on the phone and she asks me what kind of show are they running there. I warmed up and the blood ran free but then it was out into the freezing cold again. I was heading for the nursing home but the waft of fresh coffee from the bakery called to me and I warmed up again. And afternoon with the ladies (two dropped off the twig at the weekend) and I get home in the freezing wind to be told the builders were coming at 8 in the morning.

It feels like a long winter already.

English Language

2011-06-18T12:24:00.002+10:00

It's been a long time since I was at school but I have been reading books.
Two books lately have had sentences in them that have annoyed me because they didn't sound right and I don't know if they are right.

First book, the detective walks into a cabin and notices an unlighted stove. "Unlighted" sounds not quite right, should it be "unlit"?

Second book, the adventurer shined the light around. "Shined", should that be "shone"?

Am I out of date with English writing or is it just American English?

Monday? Halfway through June?

2011-06-13T10:42:00.003+10:00

Okay, when one gets old the days go faster but they don't have to go at supersonic speed.
I'm losing my way here.

The fence is propped up and the builder has inspected.
We are now going to have the entire side fence replaced. The inspection revealed rotting uprights, splintering palings and if we had just done the fence to my carport, the rest would have fallen down within weeks.
The BOH has to move all his car parts away from the fence and he'd better get them out of my wheelbarrow as well. I have to cut away the lemon tree so the fencer can get in there without being ripped to pieces. He'll just have to go gently past the Camellia. Don't ask about the money, I'm trying not to think about it.

I spent yesterday with Mum who was not very well and stayed in bed. Unfortunately her shadow remained in the room as well. This lady has had a bad stroke and mum is her lifeline as she understands her speech and what she wants which is fine unless my mother is not well and needs to rest especially to sleep. She would drift off to sleep and I'd think good and start reading the paper and the next minute the shadow would be calling for her. Mum would wake up with a fright and instantly would see what the shadow wanted. I was getting very angry and it didn't help when I dropped a cup which shattered and woke everybody up.

As for sweet little Val in the bed next to Mum. This is the one we call "The Pincher" and can she take a chunk of skin in seconds. Frail little voice calls, "Can you help me?" and you go over and she strikes like a cobra. Yesterday she was in fine form, swearing like a trooper, pinching and nearly choking a nurse in the shower. I felt like kicking the bed every time I went past.

Then we had Don the Peeper doing the rounds of the windows. This one would have been a natural tunnel digger in Stalagluft anywhere. He's in the shadow zone of Alzheimer's where he still knows things, like checking the fences for weak spots and using his tool kit to get the palings down and get out. He did that the other night and they found him 2 kms away. He's also inclined to a bit of stangling, we've learnt not to wear necklaces on the outside of clothes or scarves and the nurses now have clip release ID tags.

But I digress, still fuming about the shadow who should have been down in the day room for a few hours so mum could rest, I spoke to the head nurse who was speaking to the others about it today. Mum already had permission to use the Chapel room at weekends for her craft to get away from everyone so it has been noticed that she gets used as a babysitter. I keep reminding her that she is a resident not an employee but if you can't wheel yourself away then you get stuck. I don't know about anyone else but it's giving me a headache.

From Iceland to Chile

2011-06-07T12:00:00.010+10:00

A Chilean volcano in the Puyehue-Cordon Caulle has erupted for the first time in 50 years. The volcanic chain is about 575 miles south of the capital, Santiago but because of the ash cloud and weather conditions, it's not yet clear which particular volcano of the four is erupting.

The ash cloud has been thrown 6 miles (10 kilometres) into to the sky with winds fanning the cloud towards Argentina as the Chaiten eruption did 3 years ago.

Authorities had been expecting the eruption after repeated earthquakes were reported in the area and the volcanic range then entered an explosive eruptive process. The air is full of the smell of sulphur and seismic activity is continuous.

Chile's chain of about 2,000 volcanoes is the world's second largest after Indonesia. Some 50 to 60 are on record as having erupted, and 500 are potentially active.

The photo above is a time lapse image of the lightning strikes in the ash cloud.

The ash cloud after the initial eruption.

The ash cloud reflecting the sun's rays.

Lightning strikes as the ash cloud continues to rise.

The ash cloud rising but winds are now blowing it towards Argentina.

Winter's arrived

2011-06-07T11:17:00.002+10:00

Yesterday I walked down the drive and picked up the junk mail.
Later on I walked to the letter box and picked up the letters.
At midday I walked out the gate and caught the bus to see Mother.

I arrived back home about 4.30 and my side fence had fallen down.
It must have happened the night before when the wind was strong as yesterday the weather was beautiful, chilly but the sun was out.
I couldn't have walked down the drive three times and not noticed the fence had fallen down.

Bad luck for next door who have just spent money on getting a new fence on the other side of their property.
Bad luck for me who's going to have to find $600 or more to pay to a fence builder.
Good luck is both of us deciding to only get a new fence up to my carport and hope the rest of it doesn't collapse.
Good luck is the supports are on my side and it didn't fall on the one remaining Camelia tree which is just beginning to bloom.
Half bad luck to next door, about the fence but it didn't fall all the way to the ground and splatter her terribly 'in vogue' and expensive Yucca plants.

The Jellyfish Ballet.

2011-06-05T14:23:00.003+10:00

The Western Pacific island nation of Palau, 500 miles east of the Philippines, has an unique natural wonder. It's called Ongeim'l Tketau or Jellyfish Lake. It's a land locked saltwater lake which scientists think was formed when rising sea levels allowed seawater to fill the steep-sided marine lake. The lake is connected to the ocean only by fissures in the surrounding limestone. It keeps the lake isolated and the animals trapped. Mostly, the jellyfish named Mastigias which originally came from the ocean.

Mastigias jellyfish feed on small animal plankton, killing them with stinging cells on their long tentacles. But the magic is that the sting is not the powerful sting of other ocean jelly fish so humans can swim along with them as they migrate across the lake and back during the day.

Mastigias have evolved a symbiotic relationship with single-celled marine algae. Inside the tissues of Mastigias' frilly arms live millions of zooxanthellae, which use solar energy to convert carbon dioxide into carbohydrates that the jellyfish use for energy. Swimming back and forward across the lake during the day gives their zooxanthellae plenty of light and avoids the shadows that form at the lake edges where their predators, the bottom-living sea anemones, live.

At night they stop moving horizontally and swim vertically in the lake (away from the edges) and scientists think this is to provide nutrients for their symbiots which are only available in deep water.

There are five jellyfish lakes in Palau and even though the jellyfish all belong to the species Mastigias, they look different from each other and from Mastigias in the nearby ocean. It's also been proposed that the swimming could play a part in mixing stratified layers of water. So if you don't mind hiking up to the steep rim then hiking down to the lake for the pleasure of getting up close and personal with the locals then this is the holiday for you.

Shudder!

2011-06-05T14:15:00.003+10:00

Really some people have no sense of colour.

A regal burgundy with rhinestones

would have done wonders.

The American Gem Trade Association 2011

2011-06-04T11:08:00.004+10:00

This year I only have four favourites out of all the categories and only one in first place.
The pendant/brooch could only rate an Honorable Mention in the Business/Day Wear section and I would like a gold chain with it.
Eva Cheng used 18k rose gold, a freeform rose Quartz set with a .70 carat round diamond and accented with 178 diamonds.

This necklace by Samuel Getz was placed first in the Classical Section. I like the colours, shape and 18th century look of it. It's made with Platinum and 18K yellow gold and features yellow Sapphires (68.77ctw), blue Sapphires (24.34ctw), red Spinels (24.20ctw) and Diamonds (22.38ctw).

This piece of whimsy straight from 'Alice in Wonderland' is titled "Who Are You" and won the Best Use of Pearls category. It was sculpted by Llyn L. Strelau and features two-tone gold and silver with freshwater baroque Pearls, Sough Sea keshi Pearls, akoya seed Pearls, demantoid Garnets (green), ruby and cognac Diamonds on a crystal Quartz base.

But this was my all time favourite of the bunch. It only managed 3rd place in the Objects of Art Section but I love its simplicity. "Dandelion" by Tigran Lementsyan features Quartz and Diamonds (.36ctw) with silver, 18K yellow gold and gold plated leaves.

I've been walking

2011-06-01T15:04:00.002+10:00

Yes, me, walking but only because the sun is out and it's lovely.
No, I'm not walking when winter hits and it's cold and raining so I'm raking up points now.
Besides I'm hurt.
I hope our Nanny Premier is reading, I'm about to swear and he can collect the on-the-spot fine.
Yesterday the fucktard of a bus driver stopped too far from the curb and I had to do a Tarzan onto the grass and I felt my back muscle go ping.
And it kept up for the 20 minute walk home.
Today there's been a lot of oowwing and yarking but I walked.
The tree choppers have been working so walking was with my nose to the ground looking for twigs and bloody gumnuts.
Anyway I got my 15 minutes of Vitamin D3 to add to the 5000 IU I'm now taking. I have another blood test on 20th June and it had better be way up because if there's one thing that's more sensitive to needles than my fingers, it's my backside and that's where the Vitamin D shots go.
Sorry to go on and on but there's no-one else to whine to. Goddess forbid I should ring my sister to talk to. It's all 'suck it up and stop eating' with her. I did read through the food sheets about snacks for my shopping list tomorrow and holymoly, there's the Liz Hurley way to weight loss. For an afternoon snack I can have 6 sultanas, okay so it's 2 more than Liz eats but still 6 sultanas, 'food euphoria'.
I'd still like to know how in hell one measures half a cup of baked beans. That's one of the ultra snacks, one small baked potato with half a cup of bakes beans on top. Worthy of MasterChef isn't it.
Now don't tell anyone, I know I can confide in youse lot but I bought a pineapple cream Freddo Frog for tonight. It's not forbidden food, it's an anti-depressant. True, honest, really, bugger it would I lie to blogmates?

I've hit the wall

2011-05-30T12:40:00.002+10:00

Always read the instructions and look at the blood machine thing especially when it only has two cartridges of 6 lancets each and the "educator" wants 4 to 5 readings done a day for the first couple of weeks. Took one whole cartridge to get a drop of blood on Friday night and a whole load of anxiety. So back to Southland on Sunday and I walked from Centre Dandenong Road to Southland, round of applause please. Decided to keep going and visit Mater.

She said I looked like death then got that look on her face, the one of terror that I might go before her and my sister will be looking after her. My sister gets the same look when I get ill because she'll get Ma. I was glad I made the effort as there are now more men than women and they have taken over the activities room so she can't go there for her craft. She was in her room and pleased to see me. One new person in her room, very cadaver like until she sat up and I realized it was 'The Pincher'. The new nurse found out why we call her that when she copped a beauty on the leg. They keep her nails short but I swear they grow overnight like a vampire's.

So it's 12.53 and I'm sitting here in dressing gown and cloak, it's sunny outside and I might in a hour or two hang out some washing. Depression belts me on the head every time I do a blood test and it's all over the place like a wet dog shaking. I am not supposed to go more than 4 hours without food, breakfast - snack - lunch - snack - tea - snack. Along with nothing to elevate the cholesterol, put on weight or have the BGL going berserk. I am not having 3 wholemeal crackers with peanut butter as a before bed snack, it's disgusting. According to my lo-GI book I can have a slice of fruit bread and I'm having it.

I have a new lancet pen that is supposed to be relatively pain free for blood collecting. Bullshit.

And you prick the sides of your fingers because this gives you 20 different places for pain.

My stress level and blood pressure rises accordingly and now I discover I've missed an instruction for loading the pain machine and have to re-do the cartridge. It would be really much easier if the illustrations and the instructions were side by side, illustration 1. right beside instruction 1. And don't turn the page the wrong way and think you're going mad because the words aren't making sense, it's the Spanish instruction page. And don't keep the machine and pen in the wrong temperature space or a steamy place, they don't like it and tend to pack it in.

A bit like me.

Dr. Marvin

2011-05-28T12:14:00.002+10:00

After one diabetes educator who told me nothing much, I had one yesterday who overloaded the sensory capabilities of my underused brain. She didn't have enough time to tell me everything but the one important thing she should have done was show me how to use the finger pricking device and the blood monitor. By the time I read two huge pages of information and got it all ready, (I used 6 lancets just to get one drop of blood, setting too low) my blood pressure was through the ceiling, anxiety was just below hysteria level and my BGL was 10.0 and it was midnight.

Thank the Goddess for Dr. Marvin, my new dispenser of pills and wisdom. Blood pressure taken by D.E was 169/129 but by the time he had calmed me down, it was 149 which still had me freaking and shaking. But he said, it's only numbers, 4 weeks ago it was 188 so you've dropped 40 points. He pointed out that we're both in it for the long run and he isn't expecting improvement for anything up to a year. I have a lot to get right, one thing at a time and my low Vitamin D levels are more important than anything else. After all I've been carrying around this blubber for 40 years and it hasn't killed me yet.
Me, sitting there has stopped shaking and hyperventilating.
How can you not have confidence in a doctor who wears a navy blue tie covered in lime green Marvin the Martians?
And if he turns up in a Duck Dodgers of the 24th and a half century tie, he's mine forever.

Bling alert!

2011-05-26T15:14:00.002+10:00

Okay I've given up the idea of ever having a body like Michele Obama but, but I could wear the necklace and the bracelet.
I have a birthday coming up, you lot start counting the cents in the emergency jar I know you all keep.
I'll have no problems doing the housework in these, I don't do any housework.
They would look so nice reflected in the computer screen and flashing on my wrist as I type.

Anyone who mentions vejazzle gets barred from the blog.

Updating the Synchrotron

2011-05-26T14:36:00.002+10:00

Let's have a nice round figure for the Synchrotron to make it a world class facility, $300 million.

Victoria has already spent $725 million on Myki with more to come.....or not if they've got any brains and cut their losses. I mean it's a ticket system, it won't come up with a cure for any debilitating or deadly disease.

Poker machines taxes are estimated to deliver (rip off more like) $1.031 BILLION to the state in the next financial year.

They're hiding the Grand Prix balance sheet.

Makes $300 million look like good value for money unlike the Minister for Innovation, Ms Asher.

Sweet dreams tonight

2011-05-25T17:17:00.004+10:00

You all want to know what tops the icky list drawn up by the International Institute for Species Exploration at Arizona State University, yes you do, you know you do.

Top of the heap for this year is the Darwin Bark spider. Discovered in Madagascar, it weaves a monster web up to 82 feet wide. Feel the fear.

The bug that eats iron and was found in the wreckage of the Titanic at the bottom of the Atlantic makes it into the top three. Halamonas Titanicae is its Latin name and it's hopeful it could be useful in the disposal of old ships.

Then there's Tyrannobdella rex - a leech found in a woman's nose. That's enough, not going anywhere near that.

And the Louisiana pancake batfish that hops on its wings.

According to the Director of the Institute, there is about 10 million species remaining to be described, named and classified before the diversity and complexity of the biosphere is understood.

And they want us to go to Mars, bwhahahahaha!

More to Come

2011-05-24T19:52:00.001+10:00

I said there'd be more.

Grimsvotn's eruption produced an intense lightning storm. It doesn't look as impressive as Eyjafjallajokull's lightning but Grimsvotn produced 1,000 times more lightning strikes per hour.

The initial plume of ash from Grimsvotn was also higher than Eyjafjallajokull, 20 kilometres as against 8 kilometres but has now dropped to about 15 kilometres. The ash content of the cloud is much coarser and less likely to remain airbourne and be blown as far as the lighter ash of Eyjafjallajokull.

That's not to say it hasn't affected Iceland already. People have been told to stay inside, farmers are also rounding up their animals and flights have been stopped.

I love our Synchrotron

2011-05-22T13:15:00.003+10:00

Microtechnology and nanotechnology have the capacity to revolutionise virtually all aspects of manufacturing.

Microtechnology is engineering on the scale of one millionth of a metre. Nanotechnology is engineering on the scale of one billionth of a metre, or at the scale of an atom.Micro-scale and nano-scale objects such as miniaturised electrical and mechanical devices have unique physical and chemical properties, for example greater flexibility or strength.

Rice, barley and other cereal grains are important energy sources for many millions of people around the world. Unfortunately, diets that rely too heavily on these relatively poor sources of nutrition are often low in important micronutrients such as iron. In response to increasing global concern about dietary deficiencies, Australian researchers are using synchrotron techniques to investigate various strategies to improve the levels of iron and other important micronutrients in these staple food grains.

CSIRO’s Jose Varghese and University of Melbourne collaborators used x-ray crystallography at the Australian Synchrotron to reveal the structure of a key protein involved in Alzheimer’s disease. The researchers fused the protein to a shark antibody to stop the protein from self-assembling.

"The Australian Synchrotron has huge engagement and investment from life sciences," says Dr Andrew Peele. "Probably half of our beam lines have significant involvement with life scientists, such as through protein crystallography looking at protein structure, but also our small and wide angle X-ray scattering beam lines, which can engage with the structures of proteins and solving the problems of function of the mechanisms inside cells.

One of the challenges for in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) is the failure rate, especially in older women where less than one in four cycles are successful. Monash University’s researchers hope that synchrotron light can improve the success rate. "We’re using the infrared beamline to study how mammalian eggs mature. Our hope is that we will be able to better assess the viability of eggs for use in IVF." The synchrotron gives a much greater capacity for analysis at the subcellular level – looking at the processes occurring within the single egg cell.

It’s one of a range of projects that researchers are involved with, watching living red blood cells affected by malaria, sickle cell disease and other blood disorders, and monitoring how single cells respond to drugs.

Other projects involve visualising cells for cancer diagnosis, organ donation, heart disease, stem cell research and algae research. Much of this work will benefit from access to synchrotron infrared light.

"The beauty of the synchrotron and the infrared beamline is that we can apply it to any cells. We are only limited by our imagination."

All these projects and more are now in danger because of a funding stoush between State and Federal governments. State Innovation Minister Louise Asher has refused to commit to the facility, which is due to run out of funds in June next year. It needs $156 million over five years to continue operating but its operators say it needs $294 million to make it world-class. Ms Asher is blaming the former Labor government of leaving "black holes" in the synchrotron's funding.

Having friends who use the facility, I know how much time and effort is spent in writing for grants to continue their research. The synchrotron isn't free for their use nor for any other scientist who comes to Melbourne to use it. How much money would you invest for a treatment for Alzheimer's?

Put $294 million against what the Grand Prix is going to cost us in the next few years.

A gas guzzling brmm brmm festival for revheads who like to gawk at little cars and scantily clad pit crew bimbos which gives us precisely nothing to benefit Australians unlike this lovely big miracle machine.

Let's visit Iceland again.

2011-05-22T12:06:00.003+10:00

Remember Eyjafjallajokull, the small erupting volcano in Iceland that brought air travel to a standstill over England and Europe? The one that gave us haunting beautiful photographs and a tongue twister of a name.

The heat from the lava was so intense that it melted several glaciers nearby. This is a bit like "Where's Wally" but he's there in front of this enormous chunk of glacial debris sitting on the bedrock of where its icy surround used to be.

So the Grimsvotn volcano, under the Vatnajokull glacier in south-east Iceland, has begun to erupt, throwing a plume of white smoke about 15 kilometres into the air. It last exploded in 2004 but even though it's one of Iceland's most active volcanoes, its effects are expected to be only local.

It just melted through several tens of metres of ice and sent a large volume of course-grained ash into the atmosphere.

Just another day in Iceland, move along folks, nothing to see here......yet.

The new things in life

2011-05-19T17:49:00.002+10:00

A new doctor who doesn't bulk bill for a double first consultation equals $95 but I got $67 back from Medicare.
He seems to know what he's talking about even with me confusing him every five seconds. I'm so used to telling doctors about Mum that I forget important stuff about me. You'd think with all the pain I went through, I would remember when I had both knees crushed and replaced.
So I have new medication, one of which is so tiny, if I drop it I'll never find it.

Now I have a real bitch about pharma companies now. Once apon a time, in the good old days, you got your pills with a nice long screed telling you all the rotten things that might happen, what was in the pills, when to take the pills but now all you get is a notice telling you to look online. It doesn't even say on the bottle what the damn things are for but it's easy for the cholesterol, $70 a box, everything else is cheap.
I go back on Monday to get results of blood tests. Blood taken by a nurse who seemed to be more used to handling a bazooka instead of a quaint little needle.

Another new thing, a purse. It's a proper bastard and I'd have been really annoyed if I had paid full price for it. Italian Leather on the box, made in China inside the purse. And all I can say is that Chinese money must be a lot smaller than ours. But it was the closest to the one I already had and the worse thing a woman can do is completely change the style of her purse. You'll lose everything including your mind. Every purse I picked up had very little space for actual money but 30 different places for credit cards. I still hate the purse.

Finally a new thought dawns in my mouldy brain. Call after call from charities have blighted my life these past weeks. No I can't sell your raffle tickets, I don't have any friends and I can't afford them. I'm beginning to get very inventive with my lies (if there's a Hell, I have a place booked) but I've realized it's getting near to the end of the financial year and every little contribution counts towards a tax refund. Applause please, it's taken me years to figure that out. I don't earn enough to pay tax unless you include that stinking GST especially on cat food, pardon me, so piss off charities. In this country, charities shouldn't have to beg for money. So if you're thinking of ringing me for money, nick off I have a chocolate habit to support.

MENTMORE

2011-05-17T10:42:00.002+10:00

Here's the turreted pile that Hannah's Papa left to her on his death. She was rather fond of it but unfortunately died at the age of 39, not enough time to really enjoy it.

And if you think it's familiar, it was used as a movie set for The Mummy Returns and as Wayne Manor in Batman. Roxy music recorded "Avalon" and Enya has been known to warble throught the halls.

Tiara time again, donate to my fund.

2011-05-15T12:05:00.003+10:00

Anyone got a coin purse with a 1.5 million pounds in it?

This little sweetheart is up for auction next month.

The tiara has 13 saltwater pearls - six button shaped ones ringed with diamonds and seven pear-shaped pearls dangling from tear-drop diamond surmounts.

It was owned by Hannah Primrose, a socially and politically active heiress, born into the powerful Rothschild family. She reputedly became the country's richest woman when her father died in 1874, leaving her the sum of two million pounds, properties including a turreted mansion in Buckinghamshire plus a huge stash of jewels.

Four years later she married Archibald Philip and became Countess Rosebery and Christie's Auctioneers believe the owner of the tiara with matching brooch and bracelet. Her jewells apparently rivelled some of the crowned heads of Europe.

There were some very snotty remarks about Hannah's weight in the comments section of the Daily Mail (yes, my dirty secret, I read it) but I think she looks serene and lovely. Perhaps because I have a feeling that she looks a lot like me only well dressed and much better jewelled.

Two plane seats for the lady

2011-05-14T12:26:00.003+10:00

Meet exotic dancer Chelsea Charms and her inflatable assets.

She's had her breasts enlarged by a, now illegal, procedure in which polyproylene string was implanted into each breast.

The material irritates the breast lining, creating a serum which enlarges the breasts, a process which could continue indefinitely but which she insists stops eventually.They are still growing at the rate of an inch a month.

Gee, guess what, they actually make living a bit difficult. She has trouble eating, has to sleep on her back, and has trouble fitting into aeroplane toilets. Not to mention the regular exercises to be able to support the watermelon sized boobs.

I am still trying to picture her doing an exotic dance without killing the front row of droolers but stripping wouldn't be so hard, just breathe in. Pole dancing? No that could be hazardous to everyone's health.

There are questions though. I am a fattyboombah so I can't throw oranges at watermelon boobs if that's her life ambition but to put something into the body that is not, inert like silicon (it moves) or saline, but is still causing growth doesn't seem like a good idea. The lefty is very near the heart and both are sitting over the lungs.

What if the implanted string decides to migrate?

I was waiting for her to say her decision empowers her.

Would feminists say it empowers her?

I would say it empowered the bank account of the doctor who put it in there in the first place.

At my age, I'm just happy mine are heading towards my feet and doing their job of keeping my chest warm.

Etiquette again

2011-05-12T17:00:00.000+10:00

This one is a biggie.

How to leave a doctor to go to a new one and take 35 years of medical history with you.
And about 25 of those years are in my old doctor/surgeon's handwriting on old cards that would test a Maya cryptologist to decipher. Probably the pertinent points were put on computer at some stage when two clinics merged. He hated not being at his own clinic, hated the computer, hated the organization of every patient's visit and I'm sure this had a lot to do with his death not long after. So I inherited the remaining member of the old team.

On my very first visit, he showed himself to be fatphobic and I tore strip off him that day, his very first day at the clinic. My own doctor nearly fell over laughing and dined out on the story for years. But when I had the tests for cholesterol, sugar and whatever else, the first thing out of his mouth was "lap band surgery". When I said absolutely not, I don't think he's cared about me since. Back in November my Vitamin D levels were very low and he told me to sit in the sun for 15 minutes a day and now I'm told, they're so low I should be having injections.

The doctor who cares for mother at the nursing home has opened a surgery 15 minutes from here, next to a pharmacy, psychologist (for him, not me), podiatrist, my dentist and I can walk there instead of nearly an hour by bus.

Why now? New medications that aren't being monitored properly. Cholesterol side affects, pains in all joints including the spine which is flowing on to the legs. Blood Pressure is not dropping at all despite the pills that send me to sleep in the chair, as it did this morning for two hours. The diabetes meds have been doubled and so has the stomach pain despite eating it with food, another side affect. And to top it off, all of this I've had to find out from the internet since you don't get a pamphlet in with the pills anymore. The so-called cures are killing me. Cholesterol is down to 3.3 but the bad is still above the good. Glucose levels haven't moved either.

The best thing was the Diabetes educator confirming that extreme stress will play havoc with the glucose levels in the body. "Have I had any stress in the last year?" I felt like giving her the blog address and telling her to go back to 2006 and keep reading. Now I am in the system for Diabetes but with this clinic and current doctor, who is holidaying again, probably Hawaaii and I want out.

Are my medical records mine or the clinic's?
Do I register with the new doctor first before I ask for the records and piss off the other doctor?
Do I play with both and let the new doctor run interference for the records?
Do I kill the new doctor if the first words are "lap band surgery"?

A new look at our Milky Way

2011-05-10T10:25:00.001+10:00

From the highest mountain in the Canary Islands,Terje Sorgjerd set his camera for a five hour sequence not expecting a sandstorm.
Video producer was Sandrine Ceurstemont.