Please 2.6 million dollars for Christmas isn't asking too much, is it?

Mine, mine, mine!

The inside plan

Any house can have a staircase but a divided staircase, that's just class.

Since my current shack is too small for a Hippo fountain bird bath and this has just come on the market, I'm thinking of moving.  It's not Toorak and not that old but is just 15 minutes away.  My mother and I watched it being built and loved it but Dad would never slow down enough for us to have a really good look.
I love the stair case but looking over the plan I'm sure I could put in a lift for one somewhere. 
I hate the thought that some creepy developer would pull it down and build townhouses for gnomes over the block.
To have a good look, nick over to Domain and get houses for sale in Cheltenham and make up your own mind about the decor.  It does not look over rooftops but across the road is the parkland retreat for the Nuns of both denominations. 

Mick the Mower would be in heaven with the money he'd make from those lawns.
I'm still trying to decide which bedroom would be the library but I think I'll have to go for the bow window music room.  Floor to ceiling books and one of those ladders on wheels to reach. Downstairs, I must have one wall of glass to show my China dolls or my crystal glass collection (rude noise to Highriser).  
I know I'd lose weight, look how far away the tv room is from the kitchen, I'd need a maid who'd hand me a plate, tell me that's all I'm getting and that she's hidden the sweeties somewhere in the mansion.  Up and down those stairs, weight gone and me as well, written on my tombstone, Chocolate does kill.  The IceBear could have his own room with kitty toys and en suite kitty litter. He's not good with directions, I might lose him for a week or two.

I hope the photos don't come out with copyright all over them, after all I'm giving the realtor free advertising.

It's crawling towards Christmas.

First of the Christmas "I want" list.  Glass baubles, big deal you say but these are special. Remember Mt. Saint Helen having a tantrum that did more damage than Trump in a China shop?  It was really last century, lord I feel old.  So, baubles, blobs of glass spun into glittery things and not just for Christmas.  I am looking at one above the computer, I love it because it looks like that photo of Earth taken from Space.  I have another hanging from the chandelier in the bedroom, plain glass with seagulls flying etched around it. Another in the Entrance Lobby (watching too much "escape to the country") which is burgundy and I managed to find burgundy drops in another shop, matches the rosewood furniture. Yes, my Lobby has furniture.  Going round the corner to the toilet with the lop-sided sign, thank you, useless ex, I have hanging from the ceiling my Universe. I put them up one Christmas and found out it was good Feng Shui if they swayed in the breeze and sent the bad Chi on its way.  No lead crystal here just the most fragile of coloured glass, matt gold balls and mirrored baubles.  The stars on the ceiling used to glow in the dark but they super nova'd over the years and I can't climb the ladder to lever them off.

Now these glass balls are heavy and like good glass have ash in the melt, Mt St Helen's ash. How good is that? Shut up, it's terrific to me and I want both of them, I'm greedy.

As usual the Black Dog has been dogging my brain (cute, I'm getting my sense of humour back) and watching mother almost die every week is emotionally draining and physically draining every time I fall over so by the time I sort out the walking mess that is me, days have disappeared.  Falling asleep in the chair is still going on, the cat threw up on my foot and I didn't wake.  I am just not in this world at the moment.  My sister rang again and that always makes me so glad..not.  I think I'll have it written in my Will that if I was too fragile to punch her, I want someone hired to slap her if she goes near my grave. 

That is something else to be done, check the plot, I haven't be there since the bushfire dropped a walloping great fir tree near it.  I need to measure up the plaque for mother and measure where the flowers went up in smoke so I can put the new ones in, she made me promise. I could get a taxi there and walk back but the paths are wonky and I refuse to ring 000 and ask for an ambulance to find the fat lady down in the middle of a cemetary.  I hated to ask nephew since he works 6 days a week and Sunday is all for his little boy but he has promised to make time. I have a feeling that time is short.  

Ring ring from Yeppoon

Such a lot of wisdom in that.  Communication is important except when it's a cold caller for some rubbish or a sister who's communication comes across like a soggy biscuit dropped in a cup of tea. The most infuriating thing that can happen, dropping the Teddy biscuit in a cup of tea.

This is usually me on the phone listening or trying to talk to my sister.  It's definitely me at least two hours after I put down the phone trying to calm myself.

She rings to tell  me it's shining brightly on the coast and it's raining in Melbourne. Biatch, I'm in Melbourne and don't know it's raining. (crazy stage)
She's off to the pub, booked a table and half price lunch to watch The Cup. I wondered to mother the other day if wrinkle face was still cementing with make up before she left the house.  Apparently only if she's going to the pub as there is a little problem with the muggy heat and she has to sit in front of a fan for half an hour to set her face or everything runs down her neck. (insane stage)
She won't be betting too much after all she on a pension now.  This from someone who would back horses in Toowomba at midnight cross-eyed from too many Fosters (psycho stage).

Haven't rung Mum, is she still with us? (psycho stage with desire to face slap hard).

Funny how I keep getting these calls though, I'm sure I don't have a sister.

Still standing for this month

Well sometimes it is when I feel 100 years old and still crawling down to the Home when I really want to stay at my home and finish Christmas presents and wrap what I already have instead of doing it all by next July.
I didn't get approval, I was given a compliment. An elderly (probably 2 years older than me) said how lovely I looked in my green dress, she just loved green.  The dress is 18 years old and still fits so how come my backside is also 18 years fatter and hasn't busted a seam?  I almost feel guilty about the tub of salted caramel ice-cream that is siren calling me from the back of the freezer.
I have enough guilts from the last few weeks.  I committed double homicide for one, terrified my mother for another by describing the size of the huntsman roaming the ceiling while I was talking to her on the phone.  If he had stayed in the curtains he'd have been safe but it had to roam and then disappear.  He had two choices of landing, the Christmas box or the wool basket and I was not putting my hand in either.  I eventually found him on the floor giving me the evil eye so I left him there.  I came out two days later and he is swinging from the ceiling, dropping lower and lower.  It means I'll have to search for him again but it didn't take long, quite dead and curled up on the carpet. Total surprise because I usually wait until I can catch them in a platic bag and throw them outside to live or die by Magpie.  My fault, huge blowfly came in the back door and he got sprayed, can't stand the memories of backyard dunnies and swarms of blowies.  I assume he floated within range of the huntsman who chomped the free meal and was swinging from the ceiling not in fun but dying agony.  Just to top the guilt when I threw the body out, a magpie ate it and since there is no dead bird in the backyard, I have not committed triple homicide.

I have not fallen over for weeks. 
I haven't been to the pokies.
I have been too busy making out my Christmas list.  It's a long list full of expensive goodies.
I have found the perfect conservatory for my style of house.
I need to win Tattslotto to build it.
My granddaughter and great granddaughter are another year older.
And tomorrow is the anniversary of my Decree Nisi, oh frabjous day.

Now start saving for my Christmas presents, list will be posted soon.

I think I'll have a right bitch today!

Before the bitching, a laugh. I sent this to Antikva and apparently she not only beat the shit out of her but used a 4x4 to do it.  This year the fairy of joy didn't visit me, I got the fairy of crap, the one that carries a forever emptying bucket.

Mother was nearly killed last week but the fairy of longevity saved her...again.
It was serious this time.  She's a large lady...tv programme said it's not our fault, it's in the genes....so she must be put in the wheel chair using a lifting machine which is hard to move at any time let alone when she swinging on the end of it.
The idea is to drop her gently into the wheel chair which is hard to move, I don't even try. I nearly fainted when she ordered it but the 6 grand it cost has been worth it.
The two newbies managed to tip over the lifting machine as Ma hit the chair which also tipped so she was halfway to the floor with two heavy machines ready to land on her.  She screamed for the RN in charge, no joy there, and had to tell them how to get everything back upright. They are supposed to have been trained to use these machines. She managed to sit upright in the wheelchair but she was very shaken, 10 minutes later Doc Marvin came in and got a week's worth of mistakes and pain. He was furious for the same reason I was, her heartbeat is fine but a shock like this can make it go haywire and those two idiots walked out and left her without getting the RN. 
Anyone thinking of a Home for their elders, don't bother with Mercy Health, they're mongrels and worse, pious mongrels.  When mother does go, I intend to paint a moutache on every nun in the ten foot mural opposite her room.

It appears that my granddaughter, mother of that gorgeous tot in the last post has become an anti-vaccine campaigner. Nothing more I can say about that.

My sister was always forgetting to keep the nephew up to date with shots. I saw what rubella can do let alone measles. He had to stay in a dark room, be carried to the toilet with a blindfold over his eyes because he couldn't take any light at all.  He contracted chicken pox a few years back, head to toe pustules and it was only recognized at the hospital by an elderly nurse, one who'd been through the epidemics.  
And if 'E', his partner is still rummaging through my blog and tells him I've been writing about him, go ahead, flattening you is next on my list to flattening my sister.  This idiot tart , woman has caused the only two screaming matches between the boy I brought up as my own.  I don't hate her, she's just on my invisible persons list.

My sister is another invisible person especially now she's gone to live in the Bogan State.  I rang her about mum, she hasn't bother to ring her and see if she is okay.  Too busy sending me photos of her new living space, couldn't call it a unit (go on 'E' send an email and cause trouble). It has nothing which suits her personality since she apparently left her brain in Melbourne.  Her happy news  when I rang was that she only lost $1.25 off her pension when she moved to Jungle World. I really really want to smack the smugness out of her.
Especially when she tells me to forgive and forget my ex-daughter in law.

I don't see the point in forgiving something that is invisible to me.  An excruciatingly vile, lying dunghill of inhumanity who is now a loving born again Christian.  Rubbish, it's like coating a viper with chocolate, the outside is okay but the poison is still waiting for a bite.  Boy, I'm on a roll today, anybody else want to go on the invisible list.
Pauline Hanson, who wanted to make it illegal to say nasty things about being white.
The Shooters Lobby who want the gun laws watered down. Now there's your worst nightmare, Pauline gets a gun but as long as someone doesn't tell her which end fires, we'll all be safe.
Morrisson, our PM who has just said he was sorry for the abused children who lived in horror.  The same PM who is abusing children living in horror on Nauru, got to love a man with two faces and no brain. I really shouldn't say 'no brain', put him up against Barnaby Joyce and he looks like Einstein.

Ranty post but as Shirley McLaine says in Steel Magnolias, I'm not crazy, I've just been in a bad mood for forty years. 

My gravity is failing

Before I get to the bad bits, feast your eyes on my great granddaughter who's having a quick taste of her birthday cake. 

I seem to have developed the habit of falling over at least once a month. I believe my gravity is failing or should that be getting stronger.  The stupid thing is that I don't just fall, I fall insanely stupidly.  And to make it worse the paramedic who looks the size of my left leg says she was here last year to pick me up off the floor.

The last fall really hurt since I managed to do a twist mid-air and land on my right leg/knee replacement.
This didn't hurt as much since I was already close to the ground but the way I ended up was strictly Marx Bros. in style.  I have an extension that sits on top of the toilet seat for the crunched up knee replacements. I also have a handle on the wall and as I reached for the handle, the seat twizzled and I missed the handle completely.  I hit the floor, bum first, right leg bent and jammed beside the toilet and wall, bum jammed in the corner of the door frame and left leg ended up in the next door bathroom.  Now that's two separate rooms here and thank goodness the toilet door opens outwards. 
Twenty minutes to disentangle myself from toilet and get to the stage where both legs were facing the same direction.  Crawl to the phone but don't ring 000 just yet, there's the crawl to the front door to open it and grab something warm on the way.  Do the ringing bit, explain the fat lady has sung her way to the floor and can't get up. Everything else is fine, nothing broken, I'm warm, I can wait. 
I really hate the fact that I might be using an ambulance that someone really needs but now they have a team just for falls.  Up goes the cushion and I'm standing and walking to my chair.  I get a lecture on my legs about the fluid which could go to my lungs and heart, well jes tart, it's not like I started out to make elephant legs and I can walk.  She then goes into shock at the 240/110
blood pressure.  Of course I know it's stroke material but I was more worried about the other end which was building up explosively so she decided to wait a few minutes and do it on the other arm. They do a heart test which shows a perfect beat so the blood pressure again, it's down 20 but she wants me to go to hospital for tests for stroke. I told her if my mother can't give me a stroke then nothing will. She rings clinician (?) who wants hospital but goes for doctor's appointment in two hours.  
I'm sure Doc is writing a book about how idiots fall. Says my blood pressure has gone right down and was pleased that blood sugar was only 12 when they stabbed my finger which they couldn't stop bleeding. It's always the way, I either can't get blood or bleed to death.  I was pleased to get home and dry toast and tea was all I could get down. Staggered off to bed with precious cat and rang mother to see if I could frighten her to death, almost but she's bloody tough.
So it's now 4 days and my toe is not broken just bruised from where I jammed it in the toilet brush.  
So the fat lady not only sang but managed the splits, pretty good for my age.

It must be nearly Spring, the dills are begining to bloom

Cartoon of the year.  Embiggen at your risk. Don't say I didn't warn you.

We do nothing except talk about the weather better than talk about the nightmare of Dutton as PM

This is better to look at than that lump of spotted dick pudding who believes he has the ability to run a country. He couldn't run a chook raffle in a pub and he has the personality of that ice berg.
Enough of him but oh hell wasn't it cold this morning.  It was cold last night and raining and thunder and stupid cat trying to warm his paws on my neck. I finally gave in to the blackmail and put the fire on for him, went to open the sliding door just enough for him to go out.
I could not get it open. We had so many damn hailstones piled up against the door that when they started to melt, they sealed the door. A sheet of ice three inches from the bottom.  Let the Mad Monk rave on about no climate change when we have ice in Melbourne and bush fires in N.S.W.
And just when you thought Parliament couldn't get any worse, we now have a member of such idiocy that I vote for decorating his office in the style of a padded cell. I have deliberately forgotten his name already as it appears his ranting speech was self publicity.  What is wrong with this country when we keep electing raving lunatics who belong to raving lunatic political parties. I think we should start testing for mental capacity, first question, Can you open your mouth without inserting your foot half way down your throat?

I could do with a drink but the thought of putting ice cubes in the gin makes my feet cold. I'll make do with tea.

Another day in Paradise and the cat hates me.

And it starts with United Energy who spent loads of money sending out 3 letters last week to say the power would be off from 8 a.m. to 1.30 p.m. today. So I was supposed to turn everything off, keep the frig closed as much as possible and the freezer not opened at all, oh, you little jokers.  I had ice-cream in the freezer, I'd have had to weld it shut.

So wandering off to bed at midnight with thoughts of nekkid men already strolling through my empty mind, I suddenly realized I'd need a shower now because it will be freezing in the morning and I wouldn't have the heater for the bathroom or the heater for the lounge.  Damn, last bloke leaving my shattered dream had a bod to die for (not at all your taste, Andrew) but I managed to shower without falling over or the door falling on me.  Remembered too that groceries were being delivered at 9 a.m. and then I would visit mother, didn't want to waste a wash.

8.45, cat is sitting on me and staring into my eyes.  The message is clear, fire food fire food and open door or reverse order considering the state of the kitty litter.  Forgot to wash my hair, no dryer, no fire, no tv for the news, anxious to see if we had another quake in Oz, did I mention no fire?  The wind was wild to say the least and I had much amusement in watching the cat remember to turn into the wind.  He ran in and no fire so he opted for food, apparently not to his taste. Swearing was going on and he was just told, no fire, deal with it and he stormed off shedding fur everywhere.  I had 3 layers of clothes on, it was freezing. 

About 11.30 when none of the little red lights had gone off and wind was having a real tantrum, it hit me that no idiot would go up a ladder and play around with wires so I checked the phone but no cancellation was recorded. I rang mother just as something in the carport probably the Volkswagon crashed and she immediately made me promise not to come out in the weather to see her. Joy, visions of ginger cake and hot tea replaced the hot blokes running through my mind. The fire went on with the tv so I could give her the news. Cat came screaming in for warmth but disturbed the balloon still floating about the ceiling and nearly frightened himself to death, raced across a sheet of those big bubble wraps which went off like fire crackers but was caught on his claw and wherever he went it went too.  Mother nearly choked on a biscuit as I gave a running commentary on the noise, she recovered with a mouthful of tea, damn.

I still want to know how much money those idiots wasted on useless letters.
 

The Horrors are crawling in my dreams again.

This is the way tranquilizers should be packaged and I need about a dozen of all of them.  My sister told me, yes, told, TOLD me that should things go wrong in Queensland I would have to clear out a room for her to live in.  That's live, not visit but LIVE IN.  But if I can't clear out a room then she can move a caravan into my carport right beside the two cars belonging to her son. I think I have room for the pony.  So instead of being happy happy that she's leaving soon I will have nightmares about her coming back. 
Tranquilizers in quantity is what I need. I call them Bitch Blitzers.

Nearing one of the biggies

I like this, very Art Deco but as long as it isn't chocolate mud cake inside. I really like fruit cake and marzipan icing covered with delicious fondant icing.  Don't forget the booze.  An aged sherry would go well.

 Aquamarine and diamonds.   Doesn't it look like the sea and sparkling waves. Now I'm not greedy but if you could just manage to buy a ring to match, I'd be very happy.  Earrings would definitely be an overload.

  

A rose in any shape or form is something I love but a sponge cake with a hidden centre of rose jelly and cream, divine. I'd share it, promise.  Or maybe make it small and we could have one each, tea or coffee, of course not, sparkling Rose in crystal flutes.

Thank Annie O'Dyne for finding my lost sculpture, so me when I had long hair but short hair makes it easier these days.  That cat belonged to the artist and is not my precious Ice Bear.  I'd have had to nail his feet to the floor to put a bow around his neck.

I'm hurting again

My new chair I won on ebay for $25 and it is so comfortable and it has a feather cushion. The day was a monster for picking it up, I couldn't take my walker so made do with a walking stick. I wasn't steady, I panic when I'm in an unfamiliar place, so I used the stick and held on to the picket fence with the other hand. Who in the fecking heck paints a gate the same colour as the fence and doesn't put a handle on it. The fat lady didn't sing, she swinged on the opening gate. Then she swore a whole lot.  We managed to jam the chair in the back of the car and took off for home and I swear the sun set at the top of Westgate Bridge and it was pitch dark until all the lights came on.  Pitch dark at home but I'd left the lights on, yelled for the neighbour and his trolley and the chair was in place. I promised both of them never to ask another favour like that again.
Later on when I'd recovered I decided to see how comfortable the new chair was.  It was so comfortable, back just right for a head rest, seat fitted perfectly, see the height of that feather cushion, divine.  Ah but Houston we have a problem, by the time I'd sat on that soft cushion it was about 10cm high and I couldn't haul myself out.  That was a half hour of hell. I have a spare cushion which will go under the feathers, it might help after I have recovered from the 2nd fall in as many months.

There was wailing, crying, paining then lying flat to check for broken bits, me and the glass. I'd smashed into the chest of drawers and my art glass fell on me, nothing broken, fat broke our fall.  It has taken me 3 days to figure out how I went flying through the air not just a trip and fall, but flying from the hall to end up in the bedroom.  The hem of my dressing gown had come undone just enough to stand on it like a rock in an elastic band and propelled me forward, right side hit the drawers then crunched to the floor.  The bruise is shaping up to be one of my better ones.

Friday night is not a good time for Ambos calling on falling fat ladies so they sent out the 2nd team and they do not have pump up seats.  I have learnt a new way of getting up. You get a sheet, twist it longways, under the arms it goes, bend the knees provided nothing is broken, they each take an end, brace their feet and they pull and I push and I was up. The IceBear was such a help, you could see it in his eyes, "good thing she'd just filled my dish".  I wrapped up in my blanket and slept in the other comfortable chair until 2 when I went to bed. The hurting really starts the next day, fingers, elbow, shoulder, hip, knee and the toe with the nail half off. Plenty of pills and joy, I'd given in to temptation and bought mango and vanilla ice-cream and marshmallows to put in my black coffee, best tranquilizers ever.

Today I walked, slowly. Sat in the sun and read the paper, but by the time I was halfway home, the clouds appeared and it began to chill.  I did move 3 heavy things just to prove I wasn't completely useless.  Why does Nephew always arrive just as I've finished doing the hard stuff? 

Tomorrow's question is, will I push the couch out of the back door into the carport or sit beside the fire doing something gentle?  Advice dear bloggers?

Blog, please brain, blog

This is to remind all that I haven't forgotten you.  I've had this photo up as wallpaper for the past weeks, I named the ice floe 'Elephant's Child' and El Chi is right there as upstanding as Captain Smith on the Titanic. I am at the stage of posting Christmas in July goodies when the sleet and freezing wind decides to move on.  I have already been to Optus at Southland twice this week and one more day might have finished me off.  First time was a bust because I forgot to take my passport. Down to the first floor from the third to JBHiFi to buy a new battery for my camera. They don't have a battery for this camera.  But, but you have the camera on sale still and I do remember having to pay extra for a battery when I bought the camera and you still have a photo on the wall with the price.  Yes, we sell the camera but we don't have that battery.  By this time and you remember I've already been to Optus, my temper was ramping up to cyclone category 10 especially since he said I should try Ted's Camera Store which is on the third or second floor and I was on the first floor having just staggered down from the third floor.  Tell me, was I wrong in pointing out that selling an item that you know needs a battery (and I was pissed about that in the first place) and you know you don't have that particular battery in stock is in the region of FRAUD. Luckily I didn't put the camera in my bag as the security on the door wanted to search it and if I'd had an hour to spare I would have let him.  Third floor was a place to far to travel when I needed food and a new cafe had opened four staggers away.  Nice food, great coffee, lovely comfy banquettes to sit on but a little low to the floor for fat over balancing old tarts.  It took me five minutes to get up and out without knocking over the table or my walker or tripping over my feet. Elegance has had its day with me regarding comfy banquettes.

Back again to Optus the next day.  Girl on floor duty, familiar from frequent visits last year, said if I would come to the counter and speak quietly she would help me.  Apparently no-one would serve me because of my reputation, little bastard from yesterday got in before me because I was going to demand another person instead of him.  Karma still works, I was quiet and polite especially as she waited for 15 minutes for the Customer Care music to stop and a person answered. She finally had some higher up come and break into the music. I was still very polite even when she pointed out that it would cost me $45 cancellation fee to put the mobile back to pre-paid (memo:read contracts).  It's pre-paid but on a long period, instead of $30 a month it goes for 180 days or something. Yeah! I said I'd fix the Internet another day and it comes to mother's phone. I was dreading having to buy another phone because she's so used to using the answer button and nothing else on this old thing but joy, it only needed a new sim card and a new number and $30 credit also on a long whatever.  

So I am back to ringing twice a day on the landline to mobile and I'd say if Telstra ever added up how much 65 calls a month of up to an  hour or so cost they'd regret putting me on the $85 plan. Two days of taxi fares was up near $40 but at least the old girl had her phone back, she still can't remember how to ring me so the $30 is safe for the moment. Sister hasn't rung me so I haven't bothered to give her the new number.  Did I say she was back from the holiday in Qld?  She loves it there, can't wait to move and neither can I.  

I made a comment somewhere about wallpapering a ceiling, remind me to blog
that while the memory still has the brilliant horror of it all.  I can tell you how I removed it, locked the boys in the bathroom and promised money when they'd finished. Permission to destroy, there's nothing like it.
I will now have coffee which will cost me not a cent and then ring mother.
   

It's been a while

Sorry blog friends but it looks like I may be unblogging for a bit longer.
Not well which I hate saying since I know how many of my blog mates aren't in the greatest health.  

I'll be back soon and I do read your posts, I just can't comment.

Sorry for the emails I haven't answered but I have starred them and will get there. 

Christmas in July presents still unwrapped but gathered in little piles all ready.

Mother alive and sister still moving to Queensland.  The Ice Bear is getting fatter and I feel terrible about cutting off the tail of a tiny skink with the rubbish bin.

Mercury retrograde and I stop spending. Will the economy survive?

I remember looking at these about 4 years ago and filed a few photos away for all those odd brooches this house floats on.  Now they are all the rage either mounted on polystrene balls or special wire holders.

 It's why I've been trawling through ebay looking at the goodies on offer and looking at the quality and low prices.  Four years ago cheap meant cheap but now it's quite different.

I have that large bow and paid quite a bit for it about 8 years ago but worth it.  Of course one needs a large verandah for support so it's definitely a winter dress brooch.  It looks fantastic on anything I wear but everything looks fabulous on me. I was always dressed up when I visited Mother at the Home but these days, 10 years on I'm lucky to remember my knickers.

 My credit card is cringing as I work out how many of these brooches I have stored away in glass cases. I can see three of these on this wedding bouquet.
I wish I had had something like this at my wedding preferably loaded with a brick which I'd have used on the Bridal party to bring them into line.

 See those two pearlescent flowers in the front, $1 each and my mother wouldn't give them away, she wears them both.  Like all craft, it looks easy to make but takes patience and swearing but at least they don't droop in hot weather and would make a nice heirloom.

My favourite and I would love to make it now as a wall hanging.  It would be okay since fatso cat never raises a paw more than an inch from the ground.
My wish lists are full until Mercury behaves itself.  Before I start on anything like this, there is still an enormous Christmas tree to be assembled out of the ?????? Christmas brooches I have waiting.  That would have been done if the Nephew had sawn a straight line instead of being 2mm out on one corner.  

Boo to Malcolm the Miserable for the GST he's planning to put on overseas buying from ebay.

I am a comsumer of pretties

 I have a set of china mugs, 2 pink, 2 aqua and 2 white, gold edged and painted with Peonie roses.  I haven't used them in 3 years but I thought this spoon in each one would set them off in the crystal cabinet.

And while I was trawling through ebay I found this lovely Swarovski Princess brooch.  I have bought from this company before, a long pearl drop studded with tiny crystals and I bought the earring to match even though they were for pierced ears.  I had fittings, tiny and believe me they had to be tiny for the earrings and I converted them in a flash.  So this brooch is not for me but for Mothers Day and Mother.  She'll love it. 

This photo doesn't quite show the Swarovski sparkle but I loved the cut of the stone for the skirt.
I now have to stop shopping for pretties, the sales are over and the new stock has gone up in price but I have done well with only three to take apart for the stones because they were so badly made even I couldn't fix them.

I'm taking a break from Mother

Saw Doc Marvin yesterday and I am sick, lung rot is still there although down to budgie whistling level when I breath not the entire aviary I could hear two weeks ago. I'll be out today for scripts and maybe it will clear it up for good. I didn't look too good, forgot to comb my hair but did hairspray it, Bobo the clown, think about it.

As for the blood pressure, he wouldn't tell me what it was but I know it's high.
When I get swish swish boom boom in my ear drums I know it's high.

My mental state is still hovering on the red line to full break down.  His advice was to stop, just stop. Leave Mother to him, forget sister, forget Centrelink and definitely forget the Home for at least a week or more if I can get away with it.
The idea is rest even if I do sit in the chair and an hour goes by without me knowing it. I do ring her twice a day that's enough.  I'm really tired of going down there even though I'm rushed by everyone when I do turn up, something to do with raucous laughter and the place having life for a couple of hours.

I know when I really need help.  Yesterday I wanted baked beans and crisp bacon for breakfast so I zapped the beans in the micro wave. Cut off the fat and rind for the magpies and mixed it with odds and ends from the fridge and seed.
Sizzled the bacon on with the beans and whole grain toast all the time thinking about what I had to do including feeding the cat.  Wandered out and feed the Maggie family, feed cat on the way to my breakfast, just in time for my Lady Grey tea to add to enjoyment.  Yes the enjoyment, a bowl of birdseed and bacon rinds while the feathered mongrels chortled and fought over baked beans and crisp bacon.  I almost cried.  An egg on toast and another pot of Lady Grey unfortunately brain was still not in gear and I missed the pan and splonk on the floor. Best way to clean up splonked egg is to cover it with salt and let dry then scoop it up. Back to toast with Lady Grey.

 Sister is now going to Qld after Easter and Commonwealth Games.  She is practicing hard to become a member of the Northern Bogan Tribes.  Shopping last week and the wheel came off her jeepy thing and she had a full load so nipped into the nearest shop and bought a new one, transferred the load and then hid the broken one in the bushes.  There is an op shop in Mentone and she could have dropped it in there.  I just shut up. 

I'm expecting two parcels then I'm off to Southland for scripts and a quick visit to Mother.  I'll take her cake, that always shuts her up and I've bought her a lovely brooch for Mother's Day.  Long way off but if I don't do it now, I'll be wrapping a brick instead.

So shop today, do one heavy thing tomorrow then nothing except wash the dishes or finish the drafts I have half completed that is I've saved the photos but can't find the notes.  I might even get to those Christmas in July presents. See that's how you rest, just think about what to do and go to sleep in the chair. 

 

Black moon month

No full moon in February but plenty of sickness and tiredness and forgetting of things like a whole tub of coffee ice-cream in the back of the freezer. 
I'm sick but getting better but my lungs are still throwing up bits and my head is hurting.  I should have had antibiotics but by the time I realized I was that crook I was too bad to go out.  I never thought I would welcome the winter Olympics but I found I couldn't get any sleep lying down in bed so up in the chair and turn on the tv.  I'd watch, sleep, watch, sleep until I would stagger off to bed about 4 in the morning and sleep maybe an hour. Anyhow Doc Marvin is away to Hawaii for two weeks and he's been dealing with mother and I didn't want to load him up with this bug, he needs the rest and I could only think of a plane load of germ warfare would have Trump declaring war on us.
The Olympics had some weird and wonderful new ways to commit intensive pain and breakage.  The thought of flying down a bloody big jump, do somersaults and land on a steel rail only to somersault off to another steep downhill could only come from some deranged mind who thinks snow is a soft landing. Nuts. The snow was so hard on one day it stripped the bottoms off the skis.
As for the Russians, how dumb to you have to be when the BigWigs allow a few athlethes to compete under a neutral flag and they still drugged up. 
The problem was I would drift off to sleep in one event and wake up in another, very Alice in Wonderland. All this to a concerto of hacking coughs and squeeze the knees together dear, just in case.  I am not a fan of caged birds but that's what my lungs sounded like, squeaks, chirps, flutters, croaks and then the coughing would start.  Still it had its uses, scared the tripe out of the godbotherers, and cold callers hung up in a tick.

I haven't seen mother since February the 14th and when I ring in the morning, the first thing I do is hang a screaming cough into the phone.  I've told her I'm trying to get better for her birthday, see that, birthday, 7 days and she'll be 88 and expecting cake. She wants a clock for her birthday, I won't do it, 5 clocks in 9 years and everyone had something wrong with it. Wrong colour, ticks too loud, can't see the numbers and on and on.  I'm giving her money and she can bribe one of her minions to buy anything she wants.  But she does miss seeing me, in one day she had 4 visitors and in two weeks I've seen 3 people.

One thing about plonked in front of the tv is watching the ads.  Oh  how boring and loud.  And what's with the stupid tart filling the car at the service station in the middle of the night with two kids in the back seat? Great she can pay by mobile but doesn't she ever watch 'Supernatural' when vamps love hanging around waiting for twits like her.  I am already thoroughly over the Grand Prix and it's not even March. I am over all reality shows which are going to tsunami every channel now that the Olympics are over.  Forget dating shows, unless you're channel surfing in the middle of the night and come across Naked Island and that's exactly what they are, naked, drooping boobs and dangling knobs. It kept me awake for 10 minutes but boooooring, seen one droop, one dangle and you've seen them all.

I need a cup of tea and I know I haven't answered the comments on the last post.
The very late Christmas gifts or very early birthday presents are together at last and will be sent whenever.  Annie O presented a problem, her Lily goat broke a horn off and I didn't know whether to send a gold ribbon for the other horn to make her feel better.  I told you to get a horse, didn't I.

No dresses have been made or housework done in the writing of this post.

I'm going to bed and sleep for an hour

Mother again always Mother but she's not whining about pain just for sympathy.  I know the details and it's real pain and it shouldn't be happening but it is and I could hear it in her voice last night.  She didn't want to take Endone, a slow release painkiller because she might get addicted to it.  If you're in pain, it stops the pain and you stop taking it when the pain stops and by this time I'm hitting myself with the phone but she said she would because it's been a bad day and she really needs a night's sleep.  I rang the nurses station and explained so a real nurse gave the old girl her 10 pm medication with one extra slipped in.  They had to wake her at midnight to give her the other pill which lets her sleep the rest of the night.  She said this morning that even though she was asleep she had the feeling that someone was always  checking her.  She was right and I'm very glad for the two ladies who did that, properly trained nurses  who knew how to do it without too much disturbance.  Between the cat not coming in the door because he was playing with leaves and me expecting a phone call, I didn't get much sleep.

To everybody I owe an email to, they're coming also Christmas presents are almost ready.  Annie O, don't give me that I don't need a present, you're getting it.  You know what's more annoying than standing on lego, putting a foot on a little speed racer with wheels.  They must be weight tested.  I finally found River's gift in Elephant's Child's parcel, I can be too careful at not losing small things at times.

I wish I could insert here a home movie but I don't carry my camera around the house in case it takes shots of the mess.  I was just dozing off sitting in my chair when there was a riot go off at the back door.  What happens when a dumb dove meets a dumb cat with only a curtain between them, WW3 that's what.  Great flapping of wings and cat growlings, ripping of curtains but I managed to foot the Bear away and shepherd the dove towards the open door.  Freedom and it took off running so did the Bear but the dove gained height and the Bear gained the fence.  He's such an idiot of a cat. But I was surprised at how big the dove was and how strong. I should have left them go and let the best nong win.
I have found out the birds who have been eating the oranges and leaving the spherical shells all over the yard.  Those rotten Indian Mynah birds, they have long sharp beaks with small heads and once they get going they can get right inside the oranges. I watched two of them demolish two oranges in 10 minutes yesterday.  The possums have denuded the mandarin tree and it was a good crop this year.  The wormy apple tree is still feeding parrots and when they fall from the tree, the blackbirds run in and grab the worms inside.   One afternoon, hardly a breeze and just warm enough to enjoy the sun, I sat out with the Bear (I protect him from the birds) and counted six different birds in the tree and a family of magpies on the ground.  The blackbird has a nest in the lemon tree and two doors down is an enormous Norfolk Pine full of Ravens.  The one bird we have never had here are sparrows.

Well,  miles to go before I sleep, it's bin day and I am still sneaking videos in both bins.  We have inspectors around here who check the recycling bin and I'll be fined for this.  Sneak them in layers of paper.  Perhaps a cup of tea first and a sit down.  And thank you Barnaby for explaining that Preggers was not your partner at that time, back handed compliment, but was only a f--k buddy.   Well we've been saying for years you never thought with your head and now Karma has proved us right.  To your lovely wife, remember what Ivana Trump said, "don't get even, get everything".

There's a bad moon rising

We have a super moon this week, very close to earth and I'm not sure if we will have the blood moon of the northern hemisphere or just a weak version. 
I know it's an old wives tale that a big super moon makes strange things happen but this week already we have had 3 volcanic eruptions, earthquake off Alaska setting off a tsunami and trust Japan to do it better, volcanic eruption with avalanche. 
Icing on the cake, snow covering the Sahara.  We had a meteor miss the planet last week an no-one saw it coming. They did see it passing. 

Starfish are eating the Great Barrier Reef, rumours of a crocodile wandering Yeppoon and an epidemic of poisonous Stone Fish on Qld beaches.  Bats are falling out of the trees because of the heat, dead before they hit the ground.  

BUT MOTHER STILL LIVES.  Bloody woman and her cockroach DNA.

Yes more drama, don't ask.

I'm waiting on the moon.