Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Storms again.

Apparently this will be us this afternnoon to late evening but not as bad as it will be in Adelaide all day. It was sunny this morning so I dragged both bins out knowing what happened yesterday.  Rain would be okay but not wind, I have the small bin filled with those rotten packing peanuts (biodegradable) but hideous to get rid of and so light if the bin does go over then it'll look like large floating hailstones.
But back to yesterday, off to the podiatrist in glorious sun at 11.30 but by 12.30 it dropped to freezing wind and rain and not a lick of sun anywhere. At 2.00 the sun re-appeared but the wind didn't warm up and I was lucky to get home before more rain.  Forecast is rain tomorrow, maybe on Friday but probably sunny on Saturday because it's the Football finals.

Our 'hard rubbish' collection is over for another year and I was restrained and dragged nothing home but I did covet some nice kitchen chairs up the street but too far for me to get them to my front yard.  
This year I have noticed something different, big 4x4 cars with large caged trailers full to the brim with anything and everything and COLLECTION AGENCY written on the doors.  I counted 6 of those in one day.  I've never seen so many 4x4s crawling up and down the street.  
The Council made it illegal a few years ago to go through and take whatever took one's fancy and we all ignored that.  It's the highlight of the year, watching garbage start at one end of the street and work its way up and down and considering that the Council doesn't bother to recycle, just throw in the back of the chomper and off to landfill, then dragging home a kitchen chair or two was in order.  But this year was bedlam. One of the neighbours told me that the kerb crawlers were putting a really good pile into their GPS to sneak back at night.  Even the walkers came back at night by torchlight, like I haven't done that myself, but to go through my pathetic little pile was a bit much.
The Collection Agency trucks  were scooping up everything. It wouldn't surprise me if next year there aren't drones flying the skies and reporting back to even bigger trucks.  Well, they missed mine last year with a sofa bed and huge lounge chair which was a shame since that went into the chomper truck when I really wanted a good home for them.
I did like the chairs, I always look for the chairs or a bookcase. It's a good thing that I don't drive, someone would have to remove the car keys from my clutched hand for the whole of collection week.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

One foot in front of the other.




I feel as though I've been waiting for this wave to dump on me for the past few months.
So I've been trying to wade to safety on shore using empty ice-cream cartons to keep
myself afloat.
I must be nearly there, no ice-cream in the freezer and Domino's shares are falling.
It seems to have been a long miserable winter.
Don't give up on me, I'll be back
in full glorious colour and thanks to  the ice-cream, in wide screen.

Meanwhile read the comments on my last post, written by the golden 
poet Lord Robbert of the Western Lands.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Joy turns to hysteria and pain and inches me closer to that breakdown.

Now going back in the WayBack Machine which I use a lot on this blog, I visit my want list.
A Toilet. A toilet that is tall so I don't have to put an extension seat on it for my dodgy knees.  You must remember the joy when I finally had the money thanks to a jackpot at the pokies. I googled immediately and found the right height and what weight it took and the place was just down the road.
What was the hurry?  Well there were several other things on the want list and leaving money around this house is never a good idea.  The trees need pruning, the gates need work, a house cleaner for a day, a handyman for a month. Don't worry about the spouting, my mother used to ram a screwdriver wherever it was blocked and the water ran on to the garden in the dry spots.  Put a hose in the down pipe, yes done that except I kind of lost control of the hose and control of me standing on top of the ladder which wasn't in shape for my shape.  Thank the Godness, in those days no-one had those damn camera/movie phones or I would have been on Youtube for ever.

Anyway the excitement was too much for me and I bought my dream then started saving up for the plumber. Sister said why didn't I sit on it at the showroom, well honestly how does one try out a toilet without trying out a toilet.  Like trying out a bed in the showroom that 2 hundred people had already jumped about on it.  The big day comes, old is out, new is in and IT'S A COMPLETE AND UTTER BASTARD OF A THING.  Who in their right mind designs a square toilet when last time I looked bums are round.  My weight might have been spot on for the design but not for the seat and lid.  It rocked and rolled all over the place. Plumber comes back next day and puts in larger and longer screws, works for an hour. The soft self closing lid makes it all look so neat and tidy but it's not a flat lid. It has a 4cm rim to come down over the pan and it's hard plastic and it's sharp especially when it hits the really bad spot on the spine.  I could have been designed to hit that exact spot. And it's crashing and banging but the flush is very quiet which is too bad since I've woken up the neighbours with the first sit down crash.  And just to make it all bright, I twisted and put my hip out of joint getting out of the taxi and believe me it doesn't like square seats either.

I was up and down all night  taking pain killers with water and getting rid of the water in the jaws of hell and taking more pain killers.  Rang the plumber this morning and demanded he come back and replace dead old crappy crapper with it's swinging extension seat.  He hummed and aahed but I said I didn't want the money back, I'd pay him more and he could also take the $700 toilet with him.  That's right $700 and believe me if he leaves it here I will take a sledge hammer to it.  The reason for the hesitation was that it was so hard to install that he's not too happy at uninstalling it.  He should work for Windows 10, another bastard mob.

Nephew came in this morning, built like a brick outhouse, 6'4", remember him. So I had him sit, sit I said, get your eyes tested and his opinion is actually unprintable, on my blog.  It crashed and banged and he said the plumber hasn't installed it right, I don't care, I want it gone.  Now I'm still in pain but after the taxi, I dragged the bins out and inside wondered why the cat was screwy. I'd warned plumber about dodgy tap in the bathroom for when he turned the water back on but forgot the one in the laundry and I had a flood so just to add to pain I had to pull out the washing machine and put a bucket behind to catch water. I did turn it off as much as possible.  Cat's litter box is in the corner surrounded by water, no wonder he rushed off and was gone for an hour.  I spent the next 10 minutes digging wet kitty litter out of the bottoms of my feet.  Plumber fixed that next day, held out a lump of rust and asked how long this washer had been in the tap, time of the ark by the look of it.  Nephew got the bucket out and pushed the machine back in. I haven't been game to use it yet, there's an eclipse coming up, think I'll wait til it passes.

Plumber due back sometime next week, or else.  Plumber's mate, really brilliant, tall so I asked him to take out one of the 4 globes that have blown in the light in the study. he asked me to turn the light on so he could see what he was doing.  I should have called a halt then.

So after the disaster with the chair, lights, nephew's warehouse down my hall way, car yard in the carport and tyre depot down the side and now bloody bog, nothing is ever going to be done again. The rat in the oven will live there until he dies, no new stove and no rat traps either.  I would never cook there again if I had to haul out a body to get breakfast.  Air conditioner hasn't been checked since 1996.  And if that isn't enough, hard rubbish collection is due.  I will not pick up one single thing unless it's really really useful. 

And the possums, such a joy.  Loving the oranges so much that when they've finished the inside, they're hanging the skins on the branches of the apple tree.  Looks really pretty through my tears since I'm quite sure the mongrels know I'm allergic to oranges and I managed to eat one which was ambrosia before I broke out in spots.

Now for painkillers and icecream stuffed in the freezer.  I can eat icecream, the battery in my blood checker has fritzed.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

My usual take on Sunday selections. And I'm officially going to be a great grandmother. And I'd like to be moderately rich.


The newly appointed heads of the Australian Board of Statistics.
Notice the hair do, already looks like it's been torn out in frustration.
Notice the beady eyes, already shifty and they haven't stuffed up yet.
Notice the beaks, long enough to stick right into your business.









I'm adding another string to my bow.
Crazy mouse lady.
If this was USA I could have gone out and bought
a howitzer and blown the stove to bits
and killed the little mongrel.
But I'm still living with the cunning creep.




Several political parties are dead ahead for this.
The rest of this year could be very interesting.
I wish I had money invested in a lifeboat company.




Saturday, August 13, 2016

At last it's official! Let the blame throwing commence.





Round is going to be flatround if he insists on stopping in front of me for absolutely no reason at all except that he can.
Cat logic should be a valid subject for University study, it beats any logic being spouted by our politicians at the moment.  From the 'oh my God, we've been cyber attacked by criminal hackers' we have now come to the facts of the crash of Census night.  They didn't have enough of anything that could handle the amount of traffic rushing to the site, in fact some code was written 30 years ago.  The poor bloke they handed this steaming pile of merde to is so new to the job I doubt he could find the men's room for a panic stricken pee.  Them in the Government starved the ABS of funds to buy new computers.  Their answer to that was to cut some of the questions, cat logic in action.  I should link to the Age article but they also reported that obese people live ten years less/fewer (should satisfy the grammar critics) than skinny people so I don't have time for that.

"HEADS WILL ROLL" was Malware's reply (straight from Hunger Games script) to this dastardly attack but this was before the facts were made public and I wonder how his NBN performed on the night in question.  Could we have a new Census about that?  Not trusting him in the slightest, I filled out my terribly, frightfully important few pages with a trusty pen and will post (laughter at trusting AustraliaPost) it tomorrow if it's not raining, I mean it's not like it's urgent now.

One 'somebody important' who's name I didn't get, asked why not another page (before the truth came out) about equal marriage, to save 160 million bucks on another time wasting exercise, why not a few questions about how many pets in the home, how many of your kids are on the computer at this minute, obviously for the rich who can afford more than one, who can afford the electricity and the NBN, what did you have for tea obvious cat logic to weed out the obese, paleo nuts and the rich dining on Wagyu beef.  So now it's all out in the open except for the public beheading and rolling.(ooh look a shiney new Coliseum)  And don't sit at the back and snigger, Abbott or ring your mate Hockey boozing his way around Washington, because this stuff up started with the two of you. 

 Which reminds me, I can't wait for Hockey's book on 'Doing Washington on $5 a day' because he is such a great money handler.  So sorry, Mal and Barnaby head of the Australian Buggeredup Statistics, you have done it again, scaled the heights of political logic when you should have gathered a flea bitten mob of alley cats and listened to their logic instead of the lounge lizards in the Parliament booze circle.