Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Black moon month

No full moon in February but plenty of sickness and tiredness and forgetting of things like a whole tub of coffee ice-cream in the back of the freezer. 
I'm sick but getting better but my lungs are still throwing up bits and my head is hurting.  I should have had antibiotics but by the time I realized I was that crook I was too bad to go out.  I never thought I would welcome the winter Olympics but I found I couldn't get any sleep lying down in bed so up in the chair and turn on the tv.  I'd watch, sleep, watch, sleep until I would stagger off to bed about 4 in the morning and sleep maybe an hour. Anyhow Doc Marvin is away to Hawaii for two weeks and he's been dealing with mother and I didn't want to load him up with this bug, he needs the rest and I could only think of a plane load of germ warfare would have Trump declaring war on us.
The Olympics had some weird and wonderful new ways to commit intensive pain and breakage.  The thought of flying down a bloody big jump, do somersaults and land on a steel rail only to somersault off to another steep downhill could only come from some deranged mind who thinks snow is a soft landing. Nuts. The snow was so hard on one day it stripped the bottoms off the skis.
As for the Russians, how dumb to you have to be when the BigWigs allow a few athlethes to compete under a neutral flag and they still drugged up. 
The problem was I would drift off to sleep in one event and wake up in another, very Alice in Wonderland. All this to a concerto of hacking coughs and squeeze the knees together dear, just in case.  I am not a fan of caged birds but that's what my lungs sounded like, squeaks, chirps, flutters, croaks and then the coughing would start.  Still it had its uses, scared the tripe out of the godbotherers, and cold callers hung up in a tick.

I haven't seen mother since February the 14th and when I ring in the morning, the first thing I do is hang a screaming cough into the phone.  I've told her I'm trying to get better for her birthday, see that, birthday, 7 days and she'll be 88 and expecting cake. She wants a clock for her birthday, I won't do it, 5 clocks in 9 years and everyone had something wrong with it. Wrong colour, ticks too loud, can't see the numbers and on and on.  I'm giving her money and she can bribe one of her minions to buy anything she wants.  But she does miss seeing me, in one day she had 4 visitors and in two weeks I've seen 3 people.

One thing about plonked in front of the tv is watching the ads.  Oh  how boring and loud.  And what's with the stupid tart filling the car at the service station in the middle of the night with two kids in the back seat? Great she can pay by mobile but doesn't she ever watch 'Supernatural' when vamps love hanging around waiting for twits like her.  I am already thoroughly over the Grand Prix and it's not even March. I am over all reality shows which are going to tsunami every channel now that the Olympics are over.  Forget dating shows, unless you're channel surfing in the middle of the night and come across Naked Island and that's exactly what they are, naked, drooping boobs and dangling knobs. It kept me awake for 10 minutes but boooooring, seen one droop, one dangle and you've seen them all.

I need a cup of tea and I know I haven't answered the comments on the last post.
The very late Christmas gifts or very early birthday presents are together at last and will be sent whenever.  Annie O presented a problem, her Lily goat broke a horn off and I didn't know whether to send a gold ribbon for the other horn to make her feel better.  I told you to get a horse, didn't I.

No dresses have been made or housework done in the writing of this post.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

I'm going to bed and sleep for an hour

Mother again always Mother but she's not whining about pain just for sympathy.  I know the details and it's real pain and it shouldn't be happening but it is and I could hear it in her voice last night.  She didn't want to take Endone, a slow release painkiller because she might get addicted to it.  If you're in pain, it stops the pain and you stop taking it when the pain stops and by this time I'm hitting myself with the phone but she said she would because it's been a bad day and she really needs a night's sleep.  I rang the nurses station and explained so a real nurse gave the old girl her 10 pm medication with one extra slipped in.  They had to wake her at midnight to give her the other pill which lets her sleep the rest of the night.  She said this morning that even though she was asleep she had the feeling that someone was always  checking her.  She was right and I'm very glad for the two ladies who did that, properly trained nurses  who knew how to do it without too much disturbance.  Between the cat not coming in the door because he was playing with leaves and me expecting a phone call, I didn't get much sleep.

To everybody I owe an email to, they're coming also Christmas presents are almost ready.  Annie O, don't give me that I don't need a present, you're getting it.  You know what's more annoying than standing on lego, putting a foot on a little speed racer with wheels.  They must be weight tested.  I finally found River's gift in Elephant's Child's parcel, I can be too careful at not losing small things at times.

I wish I could insert here a home movie but I don't carry my camera around the house in case it takes shots of the mess.  I was just dozing off sitting in my chair when there was a riot go off at the back door.  What happens when a dumb dove meets a dumb cat with only a curtain between them, WW3 that's what.  Great flapping of wings and cat growlings, ripping of curtains but I managed to foot the Bear away and shepherd the dove towards the open door.  Freedom and it took off running so did the Bear but the dove gained height and the Bear gained the fence.  He's such an idiot of a cat. But I was surprised at how big the dove was and how strong. I should have left them go and let the best nong win.
I have found out the birds who have been eating the oranges and leaving the spherical shells all over the yard.  Those rotten Indian Mynah birds, they have long sharp beaks with small heads and once they get going they can get right inside the oranges. I watched two of them demolish two oranges in 10 minutes yesterday.  The possums have denuded the mandarin tree and it was a good crop this year.  The wormy apple tree is still feeding parrots and when they fall from the tree, the blackbirds run in and grab the worms inside.   One afternoon, hardly a breeze and just warm enough to enjoy the sun, I sat out with the Bear (I protect him from the birds) and counted six different birds in the tree and a family of magpies on the ground.  The blackbird has a nest in the lemon tree and two doors down is an enormous Norfolk Pine full of Ravens.  The one bird we have never had here are sparrows.

Well,  miles to go before I sleep, it's bin day and I am still sneaking videos in both bins.  We have inspectors around here who check the recycling bin and I'll be fined for this.  Sneak them in layers of paper.  Perhaps a cup of tea first and a sit down.  And thank you Barnaby for explaining that Preggers was not your partner at that time, back handed compliment, but was only a f--k buddy.   Well we've been saying for years you never thought with your head and now Karma has proved us right.  To your lovely wife, remember what Ivana Trump said, "don't get even, get everything".

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

There's a bad moon rising

We have a super moon this week, very close to earth and I'm not sure if we will have the blood moon of the northern hemisphere or just a weak version. 
I know it's an old wives tale that a big super moon makes strange things happen but this week already we have had 3 volcanic eruptions, earthquake off Alaska setting off a tsunami and trust Japan to do it better, volcanic eruption with avalanche. 
Icing on the cake, snow covering the Sahara.  We had a meteor miss the planet last week an no-one saw it coming. They did see it passing. 

Starfish are eating the Great Barrier Reef, rumours of a crocodile wandering Yeppoon and an epidemic of poisonous Stone Fish on Qld beaches.  Bats are falling out of the trees because of the heat, dead before they hit the ground.  

BUT MOTHER STILL LIVES.  Bloody woman and her cockroach DNA.

Yes more drama, don't ask.

I'm waiting on the moon.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Science catches up

Scientists  have just put out a report that there is such a thing as "baby brain", where pregnant women, some women, are just not at their best.  Hands up all mothers who already knew this and could have walked all over this research.  It's only small things like forgetting where you left the car keys or the car or the car with the husband sitting in it.  Baby brain seems to hit more in the third trimester although I swear mine went way over 9 months.  I wandered home with groceries, vaguely acknowledged a cute kid in a pram and didn't realized until I was halfway down the street that the pram and kid were mine.

That photo of ice coldness is my favourite at the moment.  Do your friends tell you they remember summers much hotter than we have now and how fantastic the days were?  I wouldn't, I hated the heat, hated not being able to sleep, getting burnt walking to the letter box and never having enough ice blocks for cold water drinks.  I couldn't wait for Autumn.  Warm days and snappy nights.  So Ex and his blonde have moved house, even further away from me, lovely.  I now have another hobby, how high is the temperature where they'd moved to, currently mostly 40 degrees, bwahahhaha.  She hates the heat.

And today is the end of the first year of President Dumbkins, only three more to go.  He says he's kept all his promises made during election, he's forgotten that most women loathe him, of course they are fake women.  He also carries fake fat, it's not there, you're not seeing it, he's svelte but I want proof.  Him and Abbott, swimming, matching budgie smugglers, I'd pay to see that.  He'd have to put diving weights on his hair.  

Don't forget the 26th, National BBQ Day.  Get in early to bludgeon a marsupial for the barbie.
And waste another million or so dollars for fireworks, a real waste when Mother Nature has put on a fire display for nothing in the last few weeks.

I might enjoy it this year, Bombay Sapphire comes in litre bottles and it's on special, a gift bottle of wine that has a hint of passionfruit after taste and 4 cans of DoubleBlack Vodka.  The vodka was stuck at the back of the fridge, I thought it was diet Coke.  One can makes me see double, 2 cans would make Highriser look  like George Clooney.  But as you can see not one animal was injured in the making except if I trip over the cat.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Was it better when we only heard the news?

One cup of coffee, watch the news for how many weathers we will get for the day and I might as well be watching a disaster movie.  Volcano blows in New Guinea, 7.1 earthquake in Peru and a plane skids off the landing strip and falls over a cliff.  I couldn't believe it was just stuck on the cliff and didn't go further and crunch into the sea.  Everyone was saved, even with my dodgy knees I'd have been up that cliff in a rush.  And a fish sank one of the yatchs coming home from Tassie.  
They think it might have been one of these, a Sunfish or Mola Mola. Not only is the sunfish the world's heaviest bony fish, with some individuals weighing in at a staggering 2.3 tonnes, but it also possesses a truly bizarre body shape, likened to a gigantic 'swimming head'. The sunfish has no tail, with the caudal fin reduced to a rudder-like structure, called the clavus. 
With a head like that it could run and win for Parliament.  I was watching the Great Barrier Reef last night, might as well while we still have it and this object likes to swim up to the warm waters and have smaller fish chew off its parasites then swims down to the colder waters again.
See, I told you, Parliament.  The Front benchers crawl after the back benchers when they want a vote then piss them off  when they don't need them.

Anybody watch the 17 hours of the Ghan?  I could only suffer that from inside the train with unlimited booze and food and a good book.  The night before I watched the last five minutes which was absolutely riveting.  Driver's voice and a mile back down the track, another voice, counting off the carriages as they drew into the station, right down to the last 6 feet.  I tried another channel and got the cricket and near died of excitement.

Do try and watch the news tonight and do not switch off when Barmy Joyce rattles on about the inland rail which he talks about as though he is going to personally lay every block of wood along the entire length while carrying a rail on each shoulder.   Just keep your eyes on the 'tit fer tat', it is hilarious.  A giant orange pumpkin sitting on a smaller beady eyed pumpkin, nay not so much orange as neon glow orange or maybe it was yellow, my eyes were beginning to glaze over.
Now he's involved in the usual bunfight about Australia Day, honestly the man is a multi-tasking mouth.  I'm sorry I couldn't find a photo but I think the Mola Mola deserves its moment in the sun, alone.