Friday, August 10, 2018

Another day in Paradise and the cat hates me.

And it starts with United Energy who spent loads of money sending out 3 letters last week to say the power would be off from 8 a.m. to 1.30 p.m. today. So I was supposed to turn everything off, keep the frig closed as much as possible and the freezer not opened at all, oh, you little jokers.  I had ice-cream in the freezer, I'd have had to weld it shut.

So wandering off to bed at midnight with thoughts of nekkid men already strolling through my empty mind, I suddenly realized I'd need a shower now because it will be freezing in the morning and I wouldn't have the heater for the bathroom or the heater for the lounge.  Damn, last bloke leaving my shattered dream had a bod to die for (not at all your taste, Andrew) but I managed to shower without falling over or the door falling on me.  Remembered too that groceries were being delivered at 9 a.m. and then I would visit mother, didn't want to waste a wash.

8.45, cat is sitting on me and staring into my eyes.  The message is clear, fire food fire food and open door or reverse order considering the state of the kitty litter.  Forgot to wash my hair, no dryer, no fire, no tv for the news, anxious to see if we had another quake in Oz, did I mention no fire?  The wind was wild to say the least and I had much amusement in watching the cat remember to turn into the wind.  He ran in and no fire so he opted for food, apparently not to his taste. Swearing was going on and he was just told, no fire, deal with it and he stormed off shedding fur everywhere.  I had 3 layers of clothes on, it was freezing. 

About 11.30 when none of the little red lights had gone off and wind was having a real tantrum, it hit me that no idiot would go up a ladder and play around with wires so I checked the phone but no cancellation was recorded. I rang mother just as something in the carport probably the Volkswagon crashed and she immediately made me promise not to come out in the weather to see her. Joy, visions of ginger cake and hot tea replaced the hot blokes running through my mind. The fire went on with the tv so I could give her the news. Cat came screaming in for warmth but disturbed the balloon still floating about the ceiling and nearly frightened himself to death, raced across a sheet of those big bubble wraps which went off like fire crackers but was caught on his claw and wherever he went it went too.  Mother nearly choked on a biscuit as I gave a running commentary on the noise, she recovered with a mouthful of tea, damn.

I still want to know how much money those idiots wasted on useless letters.

Tuesday, August 07, 2018

The Horrors are crawling in my dreams again.

This is the way tranquilizers should be packaged and I need about a dozen of all of them.  My sister told me, yes, told, TOLD me that should things go wrong in Queensland I would have to clear out a room for her to live in.  That's live, not visit but LIVE IN.  But if I can't clear out a room then she can move a caravan into my carport right beside the two cars belonging to her son. I think I have room for the pony.  So instead of being happy happy that she's leaving soon I will have nightmares about her coming back. 
Tranquilizers in quantity is what I need. I call them Bitch Blitzers.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Nearing one of the biggies

I like this, very Art Deco but as long as it isn't chocolate mud cake inside. I really like fruit cake and marzipan icing covered with delicious fondant icing.  Don't forget the booze.  An aged sherry would go well.

 Aquamarine and diamonds.   Doesn't it look like the sea and sparkling waves. Now I'm not greedy but if you could just manage to buy a ring to match, I'd be very happy.  Earrings would definitely be an overload.


A rose in any shape or form is something I love but a sponge cake with a hidden centre of rose jelly and cream, divine. I'd share it, promise.  Or maybe make it small and we could have one each, tea or coffee, of course not, sparkling Rose in crystal flutes.

Thank Annie O'Dyne for finding my lost sculpture, so me when I had long hair but short hair makes it easier these days.  That cat belonged to the artist and is not my precious Ice Bear.  I'd have had to nail his feet to the floor to put a bow around his neck.

Sunday, June 03, 2018

I'm hurting again

My new chair I won on ebay for $25 and it is so comfortable and it has a feather cushion. The day was a monster for picking it up, I couldn't take my walker so made do with a walking stick. I wasn't steady, I panic when I'm in an unfamiliar place, so I used the stick and held on to the picket fence with the other hand. Who in the fecking heck paints a gate the same colour as the fence and doesn't put a handle on it. The fat lady didn't sing, she swinged on the opening gate. Then she swore a whole lot.  We managed to jam the chair in the back of the car and took off for home and I swear the sun set at the top of Westgate Bridge and it was pitch dark until all the lights came on.  Pitch dark at home but I'd left the lights on, yelled for the neighbour and his trolley and the chair was in place. I promised both of them never to ask another favour like that again.
Later on when I'd recovered I decided to see how comfortable the new chair was.  It was so comfortable, back just right for a head rest, seat fitted perfectly, see the height of that feather cushion, divine.  Ah but Houston we have a problem, by the time I'd sat on that soft cushion it was about 10cm high and I couldn't haul myself out.  That was a half hour of hell. I have a spare cushion which will go under the feathers, it might help after I have recovered from the 2nd fall in as many months.

There was wailing, crying, paining then lying flat to check for broken bits, me and the glass. I'd smashed into the chest of drawers and my art glass fell on me, nothing broken, fat broke our fall.  It has taken me 3 days to figure out how I went flying through the air not just a trip and fall, but flying from the hall to end up in the bedroom.  The hem of my dressing gown had come undone just enough to stand on it like a rock in an elastic band and propelled me forward, right side hit the drawers then crunched to the floor.  The bruise is shaping up to be one of my better ones.

Friday night is not a good time for Ambos calling on falling fat ladies so they sent out the 2nd team and they do not have pump up seats.  I have learnt a new way of getting up. You get a sheet, twist it longways, under the arms it goes, bend the knees provided nothing is broken, they each take an end, brace their feet and they pull and I push and I was up. The IceBear was such a help, you could see it in his eyes, "good thing she'd just filled my dish".  I wrapped up in my blanket and slept in the other comfortable chair until 2 when I went to bed. The hurting really starts the next day, fingers, elbow, shoulder, hip, knee and the toe with the nail half off. Plenty of pills and joy, I'd given in to temptation and bought mango and vanilla ice-cream and marshmallows to put in my black coffee, best tranquilizers ever.

Today I walked, slowly. Sat in the sun and read the paper, but by the time I was halfway home, the clouds appeared and it began to chill.  I did move 3 heavy things just to prove I wasn't completely useless.  Why does Nephew always arrive just as I've finished doing the hard stuff? 

Tomorrow's question is, will I push the couch out of the back door into the carport or sit beside the fire doing something gentle?  Advice dear bloggers?

Friday, May 11, 2018

Blog, please brain, blog

This is to remind all that I haven't forgotten you.  I've had this photo up as wallpaper for the past weeks, I named the ice floe 'Elephant's Child' and El Chi is right there as upstanding as Captain Smith on the Titanic. I am at the stage of posting Christmas in July goodies when the sleet and freezing wind decides to move on.  I have already been to Optus at Southland twice this week and one more day might have finished me off.  First time was a bust because I forgot to take my passport. Down to the first floor from the third to JBHiFi to buy a new battery for my camera. They don't have a battery for this camera.  But, but you have the camera on sale still and I do remember having to pay extra for a battery when I bought the camera and you still have a photo on the wall with the price.  Yes, we sell the camera but we don't have that battery.  By this time and you remember I've already been to Optus, my temper was ramping up to cyclone category 10 especially since he said I should try Ted's Camera Store which is on the third or second floor and I was on the first floor having just staggered down from the third floor.  Tell me, was I wrong in pointing out that selling an item that you know needs a battery (and I was pissed about that in the first place) and you know you don't have that particular battery in stock is in the region of FRAUD. Luckily I didn't put the camera in my bag as the security on the door wanted to search it and if I'd had an hour to spare I would have let him.  Third floor was a place to far to travel when I needed food and a new cafe had opened four staggers away.  Nice food, great coffee, lovely comfy banquettes to sit on but a little low to the floor for fat over balancing old tarts.  It took me five minutes to get up and out without knocking over the table or my walker or tripping over my feet. Elegance has had its day with me regarding comfy banquettes.

Back again to Optus the next day.  Girl on floor duty, familiar from frequent visits last year, said if I would come to the counter and speak quietly she would help me.  Apparently no-one would serve me because of my reputation, little bastard from yesterday got in before me because I was going to demand another person instead of him.  Karma still works, I was quiet and polite especially as she waited for 15 minutes for the Customer Care music to stop and a person answered. She finally had some higher up come and break into the music. I was still very polite even when she pointed out that it would cost me $45 cancellation fee to put the mobile back to pre-paid (memo:read contracts).  It's pre-paid but on a long period, instead of $30 a month it goes for 180 days or something. Yeah! I said I'd fix the Internet another day and it comes to mother's phone. I was dreading having to buy another phone because she's so used to using the answer button and nothing else on this old thing but joy, it only needed a new sim card and a new number and $30 credit also on a long whatever.  

So I am back to ringing twice a day on the landline to mobile and I'd say if Telstra ever added up how much 65 calls a month of up to an  hour or so cost they'd regret putting me on the $85 plan. Two days of taxi fares was up near $40 but at least the old girl had her phone back, she still can't remember how to ring me so the $30 is safe for the moment. Sister hasn't rung me so I haven't bothered to give her the new number.  Did I say she was back from the holiday in Qld?  She loves it there, can't wait to move and neither can I.  

I made a comment somewhere about wallpapering a ceiling, remind me to blog
that while the memory still has the brilliant horror of it all.  I can tell you how I removed it, locked the boys in the bathroom and promised money when they'd finished. Permission to destroy, there's nothing like it.
I will now have coffee which will cost me not a cent and then ring mother.