Saturday, September 02, 2017

Half of me is back.

It's been a stinker of a year and I'm still not sure of making the end of December.  Mother has nearly died twice but she's still here trying to outlive her twin sister.

I have 2/3 of a complete depression which I'm sure will disappear when Optusnet decides that I don't owe them nearly $700 for doing nothing except give me depression.  They have handed me over to the debt collectors who are a call centre employed by Optus in Manila where all calls go to die.
I don't ring from home, I sit in the Optus Centre at Southland and sit and sit while in Manila they play pass the phone around the call centre but it is not my money.   They are now going to go through all the calls made since this nonsense started, well that's going to be an education in Australian swearing.

I also fell over.  As Annie O'Dyne says, rubbish bins have a negative force field and she's right. I just lost my balance slightly and went down on the nature strip but avoided rolling into the gutter and on to the road.  Managed to crawl upright and pull myself away from any 4 wheel drives.

I could see my neighbour hadn't put his bin out so I just waited for help.  Trouble was I had put on my nightdress then remembered the bins so I threw on a dress and my old comfy horse blanket. Didn't think I would need knickers being a short stroll down the drive. How wrong can one be.  The nature strip is not lush grass, it's sand and couch grass and tree roots. Sand up the wazoo and scratches over the large backside.  See, did you immedately hear you mother yelling about clean underwear in case of accidents.

Lovely man from just around the corner did a U turn and asked if he could help so I rang the ambo's and waited. I know motor bikes can be really huge but splonked on the ground they look the size of an aircraft carrier. Neighbour comes out and nearly has a heart attack but recovers nicely to ask if I had room in my bin for some of his rubbish.  Other neighbour arrives home and offers to put a rope on the tow bar and pull me up which probably would have worked but the traffic was starting and I didn't care to be mid air with the sound of screeching brakes.  The neighbours took photos, lovely of them.

By now motor bike man had picked up his daughter from Day Care and the sun was disappearing and I was chilling.  All the cars stopped to help and I felt like saying, "Beached whale, move along, nothing to see here".  Ambos turned up with the right pump up cushion and I was the centre of attention again. Being on uneven ground, one pump went one way, next pump went the other so there was a neighbour to the left of me, neighbour to the right of me and she was getting the hang of pumping, ambos to the front to stop me going too far over. With the walker in front and on the last pump, I was up and walking. The girls said they should have these pump up cushions in every ambulance until I let them know they cost up to $4000.   I walked quite steadily inside where my blood pressure was 190/90, a tad high but worse my core temperature was down below what it should be.  Sitting on crappy sand and grass with the moon coming up will do that. I wasn't going to hospital, they tried to insist but I had a date with a sand remover.

Motor bike man thought it was lovely that the Bear was sitting behind to gate to watch over me. Not likely, he hadn't been fed yet.
The next day is always the worse with sore bits and hurting muscles and I had to go to Optus who had sent me an account which I couldn't leave for too long and I was in the mood for punching someone.

So Spring has sprung and I'm sneezing, it's supposed to snow next week and I'm wondering if they'll let me take the Bear to Debtor's Prison.  One bright ray of sunshine was finding out what we all knew but he confirmed, the mad monk is a pisspot. 

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Almost normal

I can't believe how long it is since I had enough energy to blog.
Most of May is a blank and you will be pleased about that since I contracted a vile bacterial infection that laid me flat on my back for nearly two weeks.
I know I've said some crappy things about my sister over the years but when she knew what I was going through, she arrived with face mask, rubber gloves and starting washing the unspeakable towells that were in the bath. She even washed the dishes and vac'd the carpet. I don't think I've ever been so glad to see her before.

Three home visits from Doc Marvin and his offsider and the right medication and I started to recover and this morning I walked to the shop for my first coffee in over a month.  Coffee is the first thing I go off when I'm crook.  But parched and trying to eat to take pills, a mouthful of ice cold lemonade is divine.

In the middle of all this the nbn shows up again.  And Optusnet is lucky it shuts down for the weekend.  After 5 calls this week I could not stand another imbecile to hate and want to punch. I now have internet, mobile but no landlines, I don't even know if the mobile is wifi or still pre-paid.
The nbn 2nd moron without telling me moved the connection outside next to my bedroom. The nbn 3rd had a brain and asked me was that where I wanted it, no, two windows down next to my study where the bloody computer is.  He was good, even put back the loose tiles for me, did something he wasn't supposed to but I did look like death and connected the nbn thingy.  All this after I'd dragged so much out of the sewing room so the guy could get to the corner which they never used.  The study, I didn't touch so this poor bloke had to crawl through the shredding carpet, dust and rubbish to put in the whatever.  The saga is continuing and I have some Optus piece of crud coming out next Friday to make sure everything is set. I will hide the geologist's pick and the hammer.

Next on the list was the specialist for sinus.  I had to dye my hair,  it had turned white while I was ill but still had some red on the tips.  I looked like a cockatoo.  I had been too weak to shower and was washing in the bathroom basin but I needed a shower.  I had everything ready including a chair to sit on while I dried off.  Carefully into the shower, wash dye out of hair, wash legs while I'm bending over because standing up makes me woozy but a sort of bang made me stand up quickly as the hot water tap sprayed boiling water everywhere.  Fortunately I don't have a fixed shower head and banged the arm down to the wall and I'm stuck in the corner.  After edging my way out and standing in the cold I still manage to wash.  After that I rang SE water faults and the girl asked if that noise was the water running, Niagra Falls was still going.  Could I go outside and turn off the water, no.
Do you have a plumber, no.  I've always called them for plumbers involving loads of water so she had one in the area. He arrived, 20 minutes later the disintegrated washer in the tap was fixed and so was my $105.00.

Next day, cold and I never realized how far away North Road Brighton was as I watched the taxi fare climb.  Half hour in a freezing cold (oh how I hate polished board floors) waiting room and slightly more than half an hour, consultation and camera up my nose (no, I didn't want to watch a movie of the inside of my nose) no cancer or tumour , deviated septum and he lost interest in operating when I let him know I didn't have medibank Private.  Out I go to the desk where I'm presented with a $335.00 account, oh yes he bulkbills after you pay, thank goodness for credit cards, done and I got a refund in the bank before I was home.  Raining now, taxi at least knew where he was going and another fist full of notes disappeared.

I don't know the results yet because I'm still saving for my doctor.  Mick the mower beat him to the last of my savings.  And there is still two pairs of glasses to be picked up, $200 each but I had money back on those because it was only lens.

And just to edge me closer to breakdown, I have Annie O'Dyne driving around Melbourne from up bush and Antikva telling me she wasn't well and me yelling get to the hospital and by the time she took notice, she had to be operated on. Thank God we live at opposite ends of the state or we'd probably kill each other.   Mother is fine, thanks for not asking.  She got such a shock at how I looked, pre hair renovation, that she insisted I stay home and just ring her.  Of course I don't have a landline, thanks Optus, thanks Malcolm Turnbull, you cretinous moron.

Friday, May 12, 2017

It was all go this morning

Groceries were supposed to arrive between 8 and 11 so I was up at 7.  Doing all the lovely stuff on the computer that I used to run around doing.  Always check the Book Depository bargains and today we have a winner.  I have had a book on my wishlist for so long but could not justify the $139 it was priced at but I kept it there to look at.  150 years of Wartski's by Geoffrey Munn and 200 photographs, a lot of the socialites and royalty wearing the jewells.  I've bought books before with not enough photos and very wordy almost text book about jewellery but I thought I couldn't go wrong with Geoffrey. The lovely man who almost shakes out of his shoes when he gets a shinning jewell on the Roadshow.  It was reduced to $80, this is the moment a credit card shines so I bought.

By this time it was no good getting in the shower so breakfast instead.  Knock on door, nbn has arrived but only to put the box on the outside.  Another crew will turn up at some time and put the box on the inside.  No shower.  Groceries turn up and I am furious that for the second time they have run out of potatoes which means going out and carting home the heavy things. 
nbn crew are still on the roof, no shower.
Another fluoro vest goes past, I'm expecting mail, he's going too fast to drop off mail.  Fluoro does a u-turn down the drive and drops two parcels at the door and I find another in the mail box this afternoon and he doesn't shut the gate.  No shower yet.  nbn crew move along and I close my eyes for a moment after ringing mother and wake up at midday with the usual drool down my chin and a parched throat like the Gobi desert.  At least I try to wake up, it takes a while and I still haven't showered.  There's plenty of time to do that and get to Southland but I stand up and the world turns.
I feel like someone has punched me on the cheekbone, there is a pain in my forehead so I decide to sit down again.

Too much rushing around this morning, not enough sleep last night (full moon) and I am sitting here waiting to have a shower and wash my hair to go out tomorrow.  I think I'm just about steady enough if I move carefully.  The cat is waiting for his bowl, the eyes are boring into my back. 

Apart from the sinus whatever and the after affects of Prednisolone I am still shaking and anxious.  I should know by now that having anything to do with granddaughters also means the ex daughter in law.  One should forgive and forget, I don't, I forget entirely the fact that she still lives until something happy comes up and she is there.  I know too much about her to forgive, it's easier to forget and most of the time I can.  A lot of friends have gone from my life, moved on or upwards and I no longer think of them but she is personal.  She is a toad under a rock, in her mind she has turned her life around and now bathes in the love of God, such a hypocrite.  I bet the Devil is happy, she won't be sitting at his right hand.  That felt good, nothing like a bit of bile and bitterness thrown at someone who doesn't know it.  I'm still shaking but a hot shower is on the way.  Funny thing is, I don't hate the bitch, she lost far more than I did, I just don't want to acknowledge she exists.

Hot shower and hair wash, if you don't hear from me, send the Ambos around to pick me up off the tiles.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

My mind was made up for me.

So three years ago, I had a CT scan for the deviated septum and because it wasn't something that seemed important, I thought another year would be okay.  Except now it is affecting my balance badly.  Usually one bad fall a year and ring the Ambos who bring the blow up cushion and I'm right.  It's so annoying to hurt yourself trying to get up than it does crashing to the ground.  
It 's a joy to remember to turn to the right, turning off the kitchen light turn to the light in the lounge first, sit on the bed before standing and don't cover the right nostril or oxygen doesn't get in.
Bite the bullet, sister, and get thee an appointment at the specialist and I wasn't expecting 30th May but we have it.  Another CT scan, blood test but no fasting test because of some other medication that sends glucose all the way to the moon.  I still have the 2014 scan so they can tell the difference.  Just as long as no one decides to stick a sharp thing up my nose for a biopsy while I am still conscious.

It wasn't a flying leap out of the back door, I just put recycle paper in that bin, turned to grab the walker to get the mail and I was sitting on the bottom step. I didn't want to scratch the skin on my legs on the concrete so I swung around and managed to up myself to the next step.   You all know by now the rules of knee replacements, never sit with bum lower than knees unless you're some little fairy like thing that can float upwards.  I could hold the walker but trying to pull myself up with that would just bring it down on the top of my head.  I needed two strong blokes to lean on the walker and I'd have been up in a trice.  Instead I had to crawl inside to get to the phone and crawling across the steel rails of the sliding door is not fun.  And I mean bum crawl, not on knees, that's a screaming crawl with loads of swearing.  So I manage the door to the carpet and plonk for a moment.  Oh my giddy aunt, the floor doesn't look too bad when standing up but at cat level, it's appallllling.  Never let anyone tell you a short hair cat does not shed.  From floor level it looked like spider webs hanging off everything and believe me I''m trying not to look down a week later.

I should have pulled a cushion to the floor before I rang because the bones started to feel like they were trying to slice through the blubber after a while.  I always get guilty ringing in case an ambulance is urgently needed elsewhere but they just by-pass me and ring to let me know.  It's a shame they didn't pass on the message to the three ambos who turn up that I needed the blow up cushion, I had to wait another half hour.  That was after this little creature took my blood pressure with a crushing that would have done Arnie proud.  That was the arm that must have hit the sliding door and I hadn't noticed but do I have a bruise that could outdo a sunset at Broome Beach.
Next lot turn up.  No small blow up cushion, we have the lifeboat off the Titanic again and because of the moronic nbn who need to get into my sewing room, right in the corner, the lounge is crowded with "STUFF".  Impossible to move the coffee table.  So she spreads it all out and says could I slide down and on to the rubber.  Oh no problemo except for the three large pipe openings where the hose goes in to blow it up.  What she really meant was, let's go for it and rip you a new one.

Here we go and tell the experts, roll that in half, I will roll over as far as I can towards the coffee table or if you like the Carpathia and you can slide the flat rubber behind me up to my shoulders. I will then roll over and you can pull it straight and then blow it up.  Stares of surprise, the fat lady is right.
20 seconds later and I'm ascending and I say another 4 inches but why,  well by the time I get to the bottom of this to stand up I'm going to have squished it right down so she does that and I squish it down to the right size and stand up, walk over to my chair and sit.  They are always so surprised that I have not hurt myself but I'll hurt tomorrow.  Another blood pressure test which is 160 over I'm not telling you and they're off.

Cat gets up on the chair, stares into my eyes and asks if my can opening hand is broken.  Bloody get up and open his tea.  I'm thinking of my tea but decide not to bend over to find the gin.  I do decide to ring the doc and make an appointment for the morning.  Then I make a promise that if all this STUFF is going to be hanging around I'd better make it tidy so for the last week I've been playing with fabric and throwing out STUFF.
Arm is still glowing sunset.  My mother has been told that anywhere near the 30th, a near death experience will not keep me by her side.  The balance on the left side is actually bothering me especially after this week when I bent down to pick up a safety pin which went straight into my foot and I backed up to the toilet and jammed the foot on top of the toilet roll and sat until it stopped bleeding.  Bravely I showered, got out, towelled down and I'm bleeding again.  The towell was rough and I'd rubbed the fine skin too hard.
Bedroom, throw myself onto the bed, bandage up the leg and then deal with the foot.  Do you know how hard it is to hold a small torch, mirror and bandaid in one hand while trying to find a small hole that doesn't want to be found.  I managed, better than cutting down on this blog post.

My stars said I would have a great month, my Tarot said straight ahead, all will be well, my Angel cards said happy addition to the family....What?? but that was the engagement and she has asked me to bead part of her dress.  Sharp beading needles, white lace, hope next month's astrology is good.

Monday, April 24, 2017

I suddenly feel older.

My youngest Granddaughter
just announced her