Sunday, May 29, 2016

Sunday selections without the rules.


As fond as I am of having a lap pool, I could make do with this lovely spa with a view.  As you see it was the strawberries and chocolate that caught my eye first. Never thought these words would leave my mouth but the TV will have to go, it's spoiling the view.


Now for a luxurious afternoon tea, I will be bringing on the bling as in my Swarovski crystal covered coffee cups and they will go beautifully with the cake.


This cake.  Chocolate coated sponge layers with hidden mousse centre and various types of chocolate coated strawberries and raspberries for the whiners who don't like strawberries.

 I did think of having a BBQ but honestly the work involved when I could be gossiping over cake wasn't worth it.  And who wants to dirty up a $163,000.00 gold plated man's toy.


Champagne?  Only for decoration, covered in Swarovski to match the coffee cups (or tea if you're going to be fussy).  I can't stand flowers wilting all over the place and the only alternative I could think of that we'd all like, HighRiser covered in crystals and holding a plate of sweeties, was too much trouble.  I'd have to drug, kidnap and cover him in Swarovski then tie him to a pole (could have worded that better).
Dress is formal, I'm paying.  Shoes, kick them under the luxury couches.  Fenstar DeLux, I thought of you the the minute I saw this.  I wouldn't care how much it cost, it's so you, in fact it's so you, are you modelling steampunk on the side?


 River, it was a struggle to give this up for you.  I mean a Stargate swimming pool!  But I went for the spa with the view and let you have the pool.


And what else for Elephant's Child but crystal mother and child penguins.  I wasn't looking for penguins but got off track and suddenly had penguins pages open all over the computer.  How to choose!  In the middle of this I found an article about penguin fossils in Victoria, we have them up to the wazoo and some were as big as a human.  Ditch the fairy penguins, lets have the biggies.
 

And we having afternoon tea here, my woman cave.  Love everything about it, especially the shape and the book shelves.  I'll look for a lovely 'lazy susan' round coffee table, gold plated as we have Swarovski crystals.  I don't want to go overboard. 














Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Hello again, dear friends (anyone left)


I have been a bit off the planet for the past couple of weeks.  I really needed to be sick, in a deck chair surrounded by servants and watching the water.  I'm sure I would have recovered much quicker.
I have done so much running around for mother since the new people took over the Home that I finally fell in a heap.  Real fun trying to sort out 3 different types of pain and treat each one.  I was worried about one thing.  Sister used to tell me about the ward cat, he always slept on the bed of the next to depart, never leaving until the spirit did.  So the Ice Bear slept with me for 3 days, always with one paw on my arm then on the 4th, he went back to sleeping on my chair.  Spooky.                  

So today I ran about for myself.  I've been saving for a new toilet was half way there before I went to the pokies on Saturday as one does after being locked up for two weeks and only a visit to mother to break the sick monotony.  I talked to the lady beside me after she had a nice win and crap to her for telling me she'd just won 2 grand on a machine downstairs but my minor win was just as good for me.  On the way to cash out, I put $20 in a shiny new machine and bells and whistles dinged as I won a jackpot. I nearly banged the collect button through the machine, I didn't want temptation because I'd just won a brand new toilet. (I really hoped I didn't yell that out loud) I was out of there in a flash and counting what I had saved at home.  This is just not your ordinary toilet, it's 48cm high for people with long legs or crapola knees and it better be worth the $745.00.  Now I just have to save the money for the plumber although  he agreed that I should get the essential first and we'd work out the rest later.  I did take a photo with me to make sure I was getting the right fitting and how embarrassment, standing in that shiny white spotless showroom with a photo showing up the dust and dead spiders under the S bend.

Kept going to Southland and my sister rings and my mobile drops dead.  I mean, it's only 12 years old but it wasn't keeping the charge longer than 2 or 3 hours which was all I needed when I was out, for the Home in case mother did decide to ride the stairway.  What a nightmare to get a new one. I went for the Post Office not Optusnet because they don't like pre-paid customers.  Last time they told me to go next door to Big W and anyway if they'd asked me the number I couldn't remember it because it was on the dead phone.  I'm glad the PO wasn't busy, the girls hadn't seen anything so old and couldn't get it open to check the sim card.  Apparently sim cards are smaller now but they weren't allowed to open the new box unless I bought it and the sim card wouldn't have my number. Guess what, the old one is on charge and I'm still unpacking the new one.  What does it matter if it's a different number, I don't have anyone ring me, I'm unfriended on mobiles.  I do need the numbers on the old phone.  It just takes me time to adjust to anything new, the battery has to go in then the sim card then call to activate then put money in etc etc.  And it's a slide phone, looks like I'll be taking the instructions around with me for a while.  Why do they make things so difficult, like the computer, I was very satisfied with XP so why didn't they give us non-nerds the option of staying with XP and letting the tech nerds go to Windows 10.  I gave Windows 10 3 days trial and then wiped it.  I have a desktop, no ipad, tablet, iphone, laptop, or whatever the Hub is.  I want my XP back.

And Reece Plumbing wanted $55 to deliver a toilet approx 3kms after what I just paid.  They should have been overjoyed to carry it here on their backs.

I feel better, I'm eating ice-cream again  but can't look chocolate in the face.

Or immigration minister Dutton, what a steaming pile of merde.

But Miss O'Dyne sent me a postcard of Port Fairy, that made me happy.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

I'm glad it's going to be a long campaign


I can't credit this but thanks for the clarification.

I've always voted for the same party in the lower House but gave more thought to the Senate until I read an article written by Antony Green on how preferences are allocated.  But after much laughter about the Indies elected last time, most have done the hard yards and now come across as a lot brighter than originally thought.  The same can't be said about some of the major party Senators.
So for the first time I'm damned if I know who to vote for in this election.  What a motley mouldy bastard bunch of self serving bludgers - both parties. And the Greens made a deal with the LNP, street cred zero.

Yes, I am concerned with asylum seekers, yes, I know all the arguments about people smugglers but count up the amount of money used every day to keep these people in detention and don't tell me that it couldn't have been used in wiping out people smugglers in the first place.  And don't tell me that that amount couldn't have processed all asylum seekers in a short period of time instead of making them so desperate that they took a chance on being killed to get to safety in this country. And surely we have enough hell holes in Australia if we need to lock them up.

And then we have all the other rorts going on. I won't miss Bronwyn but I will bring her up every time a government minister calls pensioners hangers on or bludgers.  And big Clive, will I live long enough to see him in court for theft and fraud?  And thank you L and LNP ministers for environment  for not having the guts to stand up and say no thanks to miners, we'd rather keep the Great Barrier Reef to look at and frack off from the best farmland for food production.  Do any of our electeds have a spine or a bullshit detector to keep them out of the muck they're making for us?

And I must make mention of the Australian Christian Lobby.  Keep your noses out of Parliament and look to your own places of worship and money making.  Whatever your religion, Parliament is secular and if elected park your belief system in the House car park and pick it up after the session is finished. Since most of your outdated religious beliefs have a greater impact on women than men, keep it to yourself.  Once elected you are supposed to represent the people who put you in the seat regardless of how they worship or not worship.  Since some/all of you still insist that your views must be taken into consideration when in debate then a large denominational button should be pinned to your chest, it'll make it easier to know if the views are yours or coming from a higher power.

Bored now?  Probably this is as much junk as you will get in a session of Parliament and about as brilliant but I'm still in the same predicament about voting and after PUP last time round, I wouldn't even vote for a drover's dog.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Spike's immortal words....

I told you I was sick, I just decided I was too sick to go to see Doc Marvin until yesterday when I really felt sick and it was an $80 visit.

My thanks to Robbert for his brilliant job of blogsitting. I know I can always count on him to fill a space or should that be vvaaccuumm, there that takes care of how many letters in that idiot word.

Apparently I have two nasties battling it out for the pleasure of knocking me off and I'll find out on Tuesday when they've been cultured, as in petri dishes, not a dram of single malt and a reading of Tolstoy.

So I have tablets, take half an hour before food.  Bwahahahaha says my stomach who relies on its own timeline of when food goes down.  The name of medication is Norfloxacin and I am not looking it up, not after the last lot of antibiotics that came with 5 pages of side affects.  The stickers on the side of the bottle tells me all.
"This medicine may affect mental alertness and/or coordination.  If affected do not drive a motor vehicle or operate machinery"
"Avoid excessive skin exposure to sun and sunlamps while being treated with this medicine"

Great advice for someone who can fall over a draft sweeping across the carpet and is so mentally alert it takes me 10 minutes to recall what day it is when I wake up.  As for the sun exposure, walking to the letter box should do me in, considering the square metres of skin keeping my innards from circling the earth.

I've only taken two tablets but already I feel much better and have stopped going to sleep every time I sit in a chair.  Can't count the times I've come out of a coma trying to answer the tv remote instead of the phone.  Today I felt well enough to put sheets and doona cover on the bed, that's just on the bed, not actually on the mattress or doona, maybe tomorrow.  And since I'm not mentally alert, it doesn't matter because I can't remember the last time I changed them anyway. The best way to tell that is to watch the bedbugs hauling backpacks to a cleaner living body.

You want to know how sick I am?  There's a litre of coffee ice cream in the freezer and it's been there for a week.  I ran around like a crazy sick woman looking for a pair of knickers that didn't have holes in them just to see the Doc and found them all in the dryer and mentally I can't remember when I did
washing or what I'd been wearing.  Explains the knicker incident on the way to the Home when the elastic died of old age.  

Doc told me to stay home and rest for a few days.  This might be due to the infection or his eye roll when I told him about stabbing myself in the foot with a pencil or my having pizza two days in a row in my food diary.  My explanation that it is vegetarian and I eat half one day and half the next and to me it's just like having a hot salad sandwich two days in a row.  Lordy, that man could eye roll for Australia. 

So I get to stay home, read a book, make the bed and take time to figure out how I can disguise a litre of coffee ice cream as wholesome food.  I could pretend the chocolate covered almonds are lentils except that brings back memories of the last time I ate lentils, I won't bore you with the gory details.
I'll go half and half with yoghurt and call it yoghurt dessert made from yoghurt and other stuff. 

Saturday, April 09, 2016

I wouldn't be too sure about that.


My mind can wander anywhere and usually does when I'm not looking which is why I walk into walls and fall over cats.  But I woke up this morning and my mind had definitely been wandering and had totally walked all over someone else's dream.  I knew the person involved, haven't seen her for years but she was having a weird dream and I was watching it and walking through it with a few comments for good measure.

It's still in my mind now and boy, did she look old.  There were no mirrors so I assume that I looked fabulous.  But still it was strange.  Fenstar DeLuxe, I may have to book a session with you.  Do you do dreams of weirdness?  And no, Andrew, you weren't involved, that would go way beyond weirdness and sanity.