Come on now, how about a bit of smiting

Yes, I'm thinking of you, Cory Bernadi and your mouldy band of godbothering right wing 'don't mind if the gays kids kill themselves because of bullying' slugs.  Something has to be done about this ratpack of a Parliament and there's a few Labor snots included here.

Best quote from a newspaper today:

"All the coalition have done is replace budgie smugglers with a very expensive suit".

It goes so well with Elephant's Child's  favourite comment,  "same pig, better lipstick".

I have said so many times on this blog, we live in a secular country so if you are elected to Parliament, leave your religion at the door.  You're here to represent all of us not just the people YOU consider to be righteous. 

And just because your invisible overlord in the sky didn't put the word 'SCIENCE' in that magical book you put so much stock in, doesn't mean it isn't real.  And if He didn't want us to have knowledge, he should have been smarter and disguised the apple as Durian (look it up).  

And why the minion comment?  Had a good look at Abbott's and Bernardi's ears lately? 

Over and out Homeland Security, go menace an innocent child.

No dignity at all

Well that answers that question.  If they can reach it, they'll play with it.

I already feel drunk so I might as well drag out the Bombay

Podiatrist this morning so happy to wake up at 6.30 for a shower since it takes forever to scrub feet without falling over.  I tell you one day I will have a shower recess with no door and room for a large chair.
Feed the cat and throw it out the back door because it's been out all night playing around with leaves under the full moon.  Doing that irritating little dance of coming up to the door and then scooting  off again.  I gave up in the finish and left the door ajar hoping the axe murders were busy on the other side of town.
Breakfast so I can take the vile antibiotics with the five pages of side affects and turn on the news. So when did 6.30 suddenly turn into 5 past 9.  Check the bedroom clock, battery is fritzed. I can never get knickers or shoes on when I panic about time.  And the phone rings, Flaming Mo wants to come and measure up for the heater.  He'll be here about 9 tomorrow morning.
Taxi was quick. So glad I didn't spend a lot on a walker now I don't worry about the clanks and bangs as it's thrown in the back seat.  Lots of cars at the clinic, not much space and I trip on the gutter and fall into a line of garbage bins.  Little old lady approx. age of 120 helps me up while driver gets out the walker and barely hides his hysteria.
Good news, my feet are in spendid order.  Barely a callous, no cracks and we've given up on the toenail that's been ripped out 3 times.  It's truly cactus and I'd have been burnt as a witch in the days of the Devil's mark on sweet looking rich ladies.
Walk to the bus stop and remember not to catch the bus to Dandenong this time.  Driver I did get obviously trained at the kamikazi school of passenger bruising.  And how am I supposed to read the Myki balance which is floating in a sea of muck.  Another little old lady helped my walker off the bus.  I'm starting to think my natural red hair might need a touch up.  Also remembered not to take the walker up the escalator and went to the lift.  The lady in the wheelchair behind me was almost crunched because the door slammed too fast.  The button panel inside was like the control panel of a 747 but I finally found the open symbols.  Then we both stood inside trying to decide which button to push for the 3rd floor because button 5 had all the things we wanted.  As chicks we can think laterally and pushed every button and looked at every floor until we recognized a familiar shop.
Lunch with coffee and walnut sponge was delicious.
I bought one pair of earrings, clip, great brand which I've been wearing since the 70s.
I picked up the script I'd missed the other day.
I managed to get down the travelvator without incident or accident. Count that as miraculous.
Taxi and the Home where mother hoped I'd brought a strong bag to take home the bloody garden gnome in case the new owners tossed him out.  I'd like to see them move the bird bath with the 20kgs of rocks we put in so the residents couldn't push it over.
Now I'm going to rat through the freezer and find an ice-cream, there's always one sneaking under the frozen peas.

Countdown 12 days and she hits 86.

Climate change moves slowly

This is what happens with one little change and a period of time. Earth change doesn't dump on us all of a sudden unless we get hit with a great lump of space rock or the magnetic poles reverse.
The iceberg collision is here My favourite penguins have to be the Adelies and to see them fighting to keep their colony going makes me want to get out there and carry a few or I'll pay for Elephant's Child to do it for me. I don't like the cold and she loves it and penguins.

As you can see from the Map, Cape Denison is where Mawson's hut was built and where volunteers are now reclaiming them from years of ice coverage.  It will take a lot more to save the Adelies.

And just to add a brighter note, Warnie managed to get bitten on the head by a snake not on the bum by a spider as I had hoped but still it hurt and Elephant's Child will laugh and not cry about the penguins.

Procrastinate and even then get it wrong

I'm printing this out and handing it to the poor bloke who is going to sell me a new gas space heater.
While the RatPack in Canberra is still dithering about whether to slug us another 5% GST or do the decent thing and halve their own Superannuation and cut off all perks to former RatPackers of both parties to save money, I decided to get in first, just in case.

The dear old Vulcan has been chugging away for 40 years now with only a few hiccups like the freezing winter when the fan called it quits.  Fortunately we found a vulcan parts place only a click away and a new one was installed, upside down and everything had to be pulled out again and re-done but it purred.  The cats were happy, I still had two at this time and they were happy on mohair rugs either side of the oil upright heater.  I had six loads of clothes and blankets and a tiny air heater. The other problem with it was the ceramic bricks used to conduct the heat, fragile to say the least and to buy one was more expensive than to buy a whole new box but saving the best of the bad lot paid off next time one shattered.  Automatic thermostat gave up the ghost fairly early on but the tradie said not to replace it, just do it myself.  Good advice, getting up and down was usually the only exercise I got all winter.

This year I have some money, almost enough to put down a decent deposit and pay the rest off. The computer found several in the area and one I really liked with a 4 star energy rating and a nice beige colour.  Rang Hardly Normal for a price. I was shunted to 3 different departments with mumblings, ditherings and silences.  Finally someone found the price list but I'm sure I didn't hear right when they said it was just over two thousand but probably 3 when the installation was factored in but they did have one in store.  This was for someone else who hadn't come in to pay yet but they were prepared to piss them off in favour of me because I was going to pay it off not pay at once.  Don't they just love that interest.  Nothing about checking out the house to see if it would fit in the Vulcan space, just arrive and sign the papers.

I tried the next on the list.  This was a list of showrooms that had the heaters on display and could be turned on for me to view.  HN was on this list and I think they must have bribed someone. The Good Guys sold them but didn't have any on display so I ditched them but I will come back with another story.  I also looked at the possibility of buying a gas cooker and heater together and pay both.  Good Guys had a lovely range, various prices though for almost the same sort of cooker so I'm reading the small print and measuring up when I discovered that an under the hob grill was almost never there.  One did have the grill in the oven.  So that is something on the procrastinate list and the mouse gets to live in the insulation for a bit longer.

Next cab off the rank was a place called Flaming Mo's and it's five minutes away by car or an hour of me walking.  A favour called in from the Nephew should do it.  Actually a few favours, the smoke alarm fell out of the ceiling again and now I have six holes to be polyfilled,  the light in the front room is still hanging down because they don't put the proper screws in with new fittings just to make you spend more and 5 years ago he promised to put in a double electric point in the laundry so I would not have double adapters for dryer and washer.  Still waiting.
Back to Flaming Mo's, the guy knew everything about the heater I wanted, gave me a price but couldn't say about an installation fee until the gas fitter came and checked the flue and the space size.
He did ask if I had a chimney and I said no, silence, am I sure?  I have a flue but the builder said it was a waste of money to have a chimney without an open fire so what I saved there I spent on electrical outlets except in the bloody laundry. 

So going up to have a look as soon as I can grab himself which should be tomorrow considering what he put in the recycle bin which I can't move.  Of course you know what will happen, we will probably have the mildest winter in years. 

He said what and he's nearly what?

Shane Warne thinks we evolved from aliens.  I always thought he didn't quite fit this planet.  But he has an excuse, he's on a (pardon me as I choke with laughter) reality show.  I rather hope he gets bitten on the arse by an unevolved earth spider because ain't no-one is going to suck that venom out.

And the other hideous news belongs to Baarmy Joyce.  I never quite thought about this before but no-brain is just one heartbeat away from being Prime Minister. I don't care how much it costs, I want Turnbbot protected 24 hours a day, don't even let him get a paper cut in case it turns septic. Baarmy as P.M., just the thought is brain crushing. I wonder if there is a chance of stunning him and hiding him in the middle of one of those ghastly sheep ships where he won't be found until well out of Australian waters.

Every time I think of this country lately, I start humming "Somewhere over the rainbow".  Watching too much question time in Parliament will do that to you.  

And I really do have a unicorn and you can't prove I don't.

Science is not boring so watch and learn

I think I lost a few brain cells trying to get this Youtube on the blog so even if you don't like science stuff, stick with it and watch.
Such a simple device that could do so much good in the world and the scientists involved spend half their time begging for funds.  What else would you expect with a government that can barely spell science but can spell 'unemployed' to scientists at the CSIRO.
With the Zika virus now running rampant across the world, it's a shame that this is not at every airport where a simple test would detect an infected person before they entered the country.

The mining boom is over, the time of the science boom should be beginning.  It wouldn't even leave giant holes in the ground but it would save people.  But testing takes time and money before a profit is realized so the scientists are right back to begging.

 But here's a thought, since James is throwing his money, $10 million it's rumoured, away on a diamond ring for his current singing bimbo perhaps he could throw a few bucks for a much better cause and help 10 million people.

Cynics Rule!

 

After yesterday I really need some owls laden with chocolate and you lot can  contribute to my 6 million dollar comfort fund.  I love electronic begging.  Below is a post from granddaughter's FB public page.  If any of you viewers are familiar with the show The Mentalist, you'll recognize the way this woman lets information fall into her ears and runs with it.

 

"Guys..GOD IS INCREDIBLE.  Capitals don't even come close to expressing how I feel about Jesus right now.
WARNING: This is a long post, so SO worth it!!

Today, a lady who I have never met before approached me at church this morning for prayer for pain in her legs that has been affecting her for around 2 years now.  While we were talking she noticed my rather obvious accent and asked where I'm from.  When I said Australia, she bursts into tears and starts talking about how she has been asking the Lord to lead her to an Australian that she could connect with, because she had a dream when she was 14 (she is now 41) about a group of people with unusual bone structure that she had never seen before.  God recently reminded her of it and told her to look up 'Aborigines in Australia' and when she did, every page was covered with these faces she had seen in her dream all those years ago!.  God placed in her heart an unquenchable desire to come to Australia and be a light to the Aboriginal population of Australia, and God connected her with me to begin the fulfillment of this calling!
It doesn't even stop there...I told her I am from Brisbane, Queensland (my city and state) and again she bursts into tears. "That's where God wants me to go!!" she says excitedly, as she jumps up and down on her COMPLETELY HEALED legs.  She then asked me what church I will go to when I go home, and when I said Glory City, she almost screamed at me "THAT'S THE CHURCH GOD HAS CALLED ME TO!!".
There is no such thing as coincidence in the Kingdom.  The faithfulness of God is coming to light in more people's lives every single day, and the hope of His glory is invading this Earth like never before."

Of course the woman has money troubles and wants to bring her entire family to Australia so last I heard of this was my GG trying to raise funds to bring her to this country to do the Lord's work.  Call me a cynic but this cult church in Oz is in the business of making money not handing it out.
If only I'd known that just talking to my GG would completely heal my diabetes, my arthritic foot, my fat backside, I'd ring her immediately.
I'm an equal opportunity cynic, I loathe all religions, not all of the people involved, just the religions.
And if they want and need to invest their hope in an invisible friend floating around on some cloud, good luck to them.  To me He's just a vicious old fart who gets bored with peace and harmony so creates another war or famine or flood to have a bit of a laugh.
So sorry if I've offended any of the faithful who are reading here but this is the beauty of having an opinion that doesn't come out of a book written over two thousand years ago.  And I can't imagine anyone of faith rolling by this blog.  
I'm now going to tempt retribution by plugging in the vaccum cleaner to finish the entrance hall.

Stuff January

A short post to let you know I'm still here.....just.  January always brings some crap that makes my mind go into meltdown and it takes a while to regain equilibrium. (I don't care if that word is the proper meaning, I can spell the bloody thing)
Major cleaning and de-cluttering and moving of heavy books and heaving vac cleaner around the carpet  and that's only the entrance hall.
Now leaving for the Home and major de-cluttering of mother's things.  New owners are taking over on the 29th February and I don't want them to be telling her she has too much and she does. 
Other ghastlies, granddaughter mixed up with hideous cult type church in Brisbane and is in California to learn to be Minister and Missionary to spread the love and goodness of Teh Lord.
So if you want to give yourself the horrors, goggle Glory City Church, Brisbane but don't miss the other website debunking them.  And while you are there, do the same for the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California.  At least this mob gives out the prices of all their services and International students must pay up front and no refunds. Also pay for all their missionary trips and are encouraged to work part time in the poorest of the communities to help spread the love and drivel of Teh Lord.  Taking away part time jobs of the poorest people would help much.
This has led me to the newest invention of Facebook, crowd funding or crowd sourcing or the way I see it, electronic begging.  And believe me the girl is well and truly in and brainwashed all the way. It's another wonderful thing her mother has done for the world and if this thieving lying bitch is in with the cult church (which started in Brisbane) then she's in it for the money nothing else but dragging in my granddaughter with her is unforgivable. Although the kid has always had a missionary mind even at Catholic College. The elder granddaughter just travels the world  and I don't want to know when she goes to India and stays AirBnB in a country of ingrained rape culture.
Oh great, short post and everything pours out.
Have not even seen StarWars yet.

Nearly made it, missed it by thaaat much.

Dear Andrew says his hangover is much better.

Next year I'm making this awesome reindeer for my pleasure and to terrify the cat.

Only StarWars  fans will get the joke.  And no, I haven't been to see the next instalment yet.

And I thought I'd give you a break from Harry.

Mother had a turn in the shower and was rushed back to bed and put on oxygen.  Now she's back on antibiotics.  She was okay Christmas Day but tired.  Her roomie died through the night, just went to sleep and bye bye.  Boxing Day, tired, so mother stayed in bed.  I was in the middle of dressing an angel doll, just getting into the sewing  of petticoats and lace which had to be done on the doll otherwise the porcelain arms can break when I got the call.  You know, oh don't come down, I'll be okay but she isn't until I walk in the room.  Bloody woman.  Doc Marvin was in today and can't believe how fast her lungs collapsed into infection because they were clear last week.

  

I have a few people to blame.  Don't come into a nursing home and slobber over the  residents, their immune system is shit and your germs aren't.  My sister and I don't kiss our mother, well if I kissed her she would think she was dying.  I've been saying this for 7 years, don't kiss them, you've had years to kiss them and if you haven't kissed them enough in that time then you aren't going to make up for it now. 

So now I'm back with Angel doll and it is not working.  Angel wings are different from fairy wings, fairy wings I can do, stupid angels, no.  To top it off, it's one of those CopperArt dolls from China where the dress is made for a standing up body but then they go and twist the body to make it look different from the other 4 million Angels they made that week.  I went into the sewing room and packed fabric in boxes and let the empty brain space do its work and I've got it and remembered how to stiffen the wings, hairspray.  I even found the white feathers I'd been looking for.  Hand beading is now going to be sticking on with glue beading.  I've cleaned up the beads and can't find a crystal or a pearl anywhere.  I'll go feed the cat and think on it.  Bloody woman couldn't wait until I'd finished to have another episode.

I may need an intervention

I'm like Pavlov's dog except it's Potter's dog.  Every time Potter ranges into view, I'm compelled to press go and read the latest.  So in case you need a sob or two today in the Christmas madness, I give you these.

 I love taking those online quizzes and I invariably come up as Luna and place of residence is Hogwarts.

I can't argue with a Patronus, at least it wasn't a box of chocolates. 

Now you have to have a tiny tear by this stage and last night when I found this, big tears.  I always get very snivelly around Christmas.  I think it's having to bypass the booze, chocolates, puddings, cakes and Pavlovas.  I really miss the pavs and it's no good saying just a small slice, that has never been in my vocabulary.  Dear lord, what on earth constitutes a small slice unless that's the bit I leave for others to fight over.  I'd love to see Luna wielding her wand over a Pavlova, pink with a Unicorn holding a strawberry in a field of marshmallow and cream.  I must get my fingers off the keyboard and my mind off Potter.

Yes, if my hand is full of wand and the other hand is full of food, I'm very calm.

Penguins for Elephants

I went looking for a really good penguin photo for Elephant's child for her competition win and I was lost for hours.  Penguins everywhere and cute and I can't resist cute so you're getting cute penguin blog and liking it.

 How can you not keep calm watching penguins excepts with Attenborough who likes to draw your attention to every predator in the Southern Ocean chewing and chomping down on baby penguins. Not calming David!

 This is for calming sleep.  EC you will be dreaming of Antarctica and ice bergs and little swimmy friends all night.

And dreaming of all that water will bring about the usual consequences but I've got that covered as well.  That toilet roll holder is just the most and the only thing to make it better is a fishy voice screeching, "fill it up" when the roll runs out.

Just had to ask this question, do they have knees?  I mean they're a bit short on for legs so maybe knees aren't there but we should know this. We should know if penguins have knees.  And because this is keeping you up you should have a calming cup of something, gin, vodka, anything.

And while you are pondering the wisdom of penguins having knees, your cat is nicking your chocolate chip cookie and so it goes on, do cats have knees?

I'm not a big lover of fan fiction.

I don't go looking for Hogwarts History or what happened after Volde turned to ashes and it's just a coincidence that the ticket for the express is one of my favourite wallpapers.  I mean there are times when I really want to be on that train and a long way from here but it's a dream that isn't going to come true.

But when I came across this about Kreacher and Dobby, I admit to a sob or two escaping maybe even four or five.  It's just the time of year when I get whacked out and tend to cry over the most ridiculous things.  Doesn't everyone sob when they drag the damn yellow recycle bin out and then find it's only Tuesday.  

I'm going to remember this and have it put in my will that when my nephew goes, socks will be put on his grave in memory of his philosophy that two holey socks when worn one over the other make a whole sock.  Dobby would agree.

I've been at the Home so nothing for it but to cat blog

 I want it but I want two spoons, one spoon always gets broken.

 I've just spoken to my sister, I'm with you Bill.

 Cute but no saucer, no spoon!  One must keep up standards of tea drinking.

Be okay for the Bombay Sapphire though.

 I really stand out in the crowd, give me a bad day and I'll stand on the crowd,

 Brilliant thinking outside the square but they would still find the one bauble under the couch and play with that at midnight.

I'm still thinking of using the cat as a Christmas decoration but I haven't quite got the plum colour right. I'm not cruel, I'm using solar lights since he spends most of the time flat out in the sun so he might as well recharge himself.

I will call him silver balls.

What goes on the Web, stays on the Web

I try very hard to be anonymous on the Web. Wouldn't want my ex or his crappy wife to come calling and spoiling the ambience.

No photos except one taken 50 years ago. But always there's one pest that looks and finds out about my secret life as an artist's model with all that entails.

Thanks Jayne I'm sure I'll be able to find a way to repay the favour.

I miss the Bohemian life, Absinthe, mad artists, passionate sex (I wish I could remember sex) and wild dancing on re-enforced table tops.  That damn water was cold though and I'm sure pretty lights weren't the only things floating in it.  Chopped my hair short but still  have the Big A.  I wonder if it still glitters in the light of the full moon when I dance to the call of the Goddess.

Jingle balls, bells, whatever

This is how Christmas should be, it isn't.  It's more like this.

And the kids aren't even out of school yet.  Do drivers put on a special ningnong hat for rolling the streets in December?  I'm counting busdrivers in this as well because I caught a bus yesterday and I swear he was sniggering as I tried to drop the loaded walker to the footpath when it looked like he wasn't going to lower the step.  He waited until the last possible moment to drop it and me and walker.
As if it wasn't bad enough that I was on my way to the Home and the crackers.  Someone has a rash and I wasn't the first to think 'little livestock a'wandering' or maybe a gift of herpes.  Someone  had to have their long pants cut off, too tight, too shrunk, too someone else's.  Mother and I had a relatively peaceful afternoon as there was an entertainment going on.  She was going on about her lovely rainbow lights all over the house and how it lit up the street so I bought her two little trees, one plastic and one glass with tiny baubles on the branches and they light up and change colour.  If they keep going until christmas Day, her brain should be nicely rooffied.  I wrapped up Doc Marvin's present from mother and since he's like me and likes to start reading a book the minute it's open, I predict a threat of divorce on Christmas morning.

I'd just seen him for blood test results, not as bad as they could have been. In an ideal world BGL 5 or 6 would have been perfect but as he said in my world of chaos, he'll accept 7.1. I was overjoyed as my monitor kept throwing up averages like 8.6.  Blood pressure was a little high but I had been on the phone with the sister who wanted to know if pensioners got a Christmas bonus.  We're fkn lucky to get a pension with this mob in Canberra.
One more stupid question like that and I will kick her in her knee replacement.

Southland wasn't too bad as I started at the top and worked my way down.  Don't bother with Black Opium, too fruity sweet and I did have a great spray while the assistant was helping another lady.  I'll stick with the old Opium.  And not too many gift sets from Estee Lauder this year which throws a spanner in the cheap works as they usually drop the prices after Christmas.  So to Aldi's to buy a fold up table, second attempt.  This one was only 6 feet long and folded in two, perfect if I had been Arnold Schwartznegger (did I miss an e).  I couldn't move the box, could not even slide it onto the trolley.  The girl asked if I wanted a man for assistance, well, yes, but only if he came home in the taxi with me and carried it into the house.  I bought a box of macadamia shortbread instead.  Nice tin, Doc Marvin likes tins so I'll give it to him from me, minus the shortbread.

I hate the heat already.

And I found out the drama queen white cat has never seen a balloon before. World record leap for his twitchiness, world record squeeze under the coffee table, followed by a record run for the back door.
He crawled in two hours later and gave new meaning to the word 'pussy foot'. I swear it took him 15 minutes to make it across the lounge to hide behind the couch.  I couldn't get a nice well adjusted moggie, I had to get a whacko with raw nerves.  I wonder what he'd do if I blew one up and then just let it go, better not, the room's in enough mess as it is.

Are we going to get Sydney's storm?  Any chance, even a small one preferably before the weekend?

My version of Sunday Selections

I want a conservatory at the front of the house but I really really want an attic NOW.  Is this the most fantastic attic conversion ever?  Of course I would have some trouble getting up the stairs but what are Stairmasters for.  On the other hand I could just steeple the roof over the sewing room to match the conservatory and then I wouldn't need stairs.  I wouldn't worry about the shoe racks not with my crummy collection of decrepit foot ware but it would just mean shelves for my frock fabric that I haven't cut out yet and my mohair rugs and doona covers.  I'm one short at the moment, I haven't had it long, bought it because the price was right and it had flowers and nothing else did but gah, it's so depressing to sleep under.  I spent an hour during another watching of Lord of the Rings to unpick the lot much to the disgust of the cat who hates Orcs and likes to sit on my knee if Orcs are around.  I might not be able to sleep under it but it will make a nice house dress which won't show the dropped chocolate bits off the Magnums.  The bottom half, kind of Khaki, that's depressing but it will end up as the back of a quilt some time this Millenium.

Now shoes are beginning to become a problem with the arthritic feet and scrunching bones and most of the fluid building on top of my feet.  I grabbed a cheap pair of sneakers at KMart which felt soft enough but the Chinese version of size 11 is 10 so I really needed a 12 and I should have gone over to the mens shoes, better for the width.  Even with two shoe horns I nearly broke both feet trying to get them on.  What did I expect for $8, well not much so I had a think as Pooh did when he got his head caught in the hunny jar and came up with something brilliant.  I cut the tongue and half the front out of the sneaker, nicely rounded off just before the beginning of the toes and the end of the fat fluid part of the busted foot.  Then I put the laces back through the holes, nice laces, black with little white spots, cute. They went on like a dream, laced up with too much skin showing, a bit like putting a corset on and trying to get a waist out of a Blue Whale.  But I walked to the shop for coffee and comfortable and didn't fall off but plain.  I am planning on sticking little flat pearls around the cut edges to look more elegant, less cheap but still like the fat hippo ballerinas from Fantasia.  I'll just have to try harder from the waist up.

And with all this dreaming of divine attics and space for frocks and stuff, I haven't started Christmas thinking or cards and I've already eaten Christmas Day's mince pies.  Haven't started the Christmas brooch tree, third year running so another Millenium project but at least I'll have room for it in the Attic.  Do you think I could get away with decorating a large white cat in a Christmas fashion? 

Christmas, how do I not love thee, let me count the ways.

Mother is still here, sister is still whinging, the cat stops me running away from home and I need a full moon in the sign of money.  I don't have any presents to buy this year and I look like getting a good meal on the day even if it means I have to go to the Home.

Our resident loopydemented who it seems actually has to really hurt someone like in maybe kill is no longer waiting on the full moon to go crackers.  I have been informed that I should have more sympathy for this resident as she does not know what she is doing.  Crapola she does and she should not be in a place where she can't be under observation 24 hours.  The staff does their best but while they are controlling her, they have to leave other residents.  And what can a carer do when she is sitting beside her watching a resident have nail polish put on and the carer looks up and sees loopy drinking the nail polish.  Doc Marvin has already had words with the DON but it's up to the family for the last word. There are places, quite secure where she can walk around inside and out and that is where she should be.   Mother's roomie has very bad legs which have to be dressed and it's so painful that she cries the whole time so she didn't need loopy to come in and go to grab both legs through the blankets.  When her husband told her to go, loopy punched him full in the chest, a ninety year old man.  She punches the carers, knocked the older ladies to the ground and steals whatever takes her eye. Then last week there was the complete striptease in the day room and that's a sight I'm glad I'll never have in my memory bank.  

I will be having Christmas lunch in mum's room.  My Christmas baubles are all neatly put away. I take them out, have a look at the gorgeous things and put them back.  I will just do the usual thing and spray the dust hanging from the ceiling with gold paint with a new ornament this year, a dead spider hanging from the light. I haven't removed him, the body reminds me of that gorgeous image of the chandelier hanging from the wreck of the Titanic, gently swaying in the current.  Ornaments were pretty crappy this year and expensive. I looked everywhere for a matte plum colour in a round ball, nada.   And the cat is not co-operating.  I had thoughts of sending you all a Christmas card, a very exclusive card of a lovely white cat wearing a red velvet Santa hat.  I even cut little holes in it for his ears to poke through.  The hat he tolerated, the camera not a bit. The only way I'll get his head to stay still is to nail his ears to the wall. The other problem is getting him in a position where you can't see last year's litter all over the lounge.

I am getting a present for me.  I'm going up to DJ's and demanding they spray me with YSL's Opium Black.  None of those stupid little flicks of paper, I want the real stuff on me and if I do it the day before Christmas it should last 24 hours if I hold my arm out of the shower. I must be getting old, there was a time I wouldn't have thought 2 seconds before I shelled out $180 for this gift set. I might waver in these last weeks after all I did find a block of Lindt behind the Bombay Sapphire when I really needed chocolate this week.  I always hide the chocolate behind the gin because I don't drink gin in winter, in summer I hide it behind the port. Who says women can't handle logic.

I nearly deleted the blog

I have to start with a laugh these days or I'd never keep going.  Yes, I very nearly gave it all up yesterday. I couldn't find a thing to say, my brain is disappearing into some blackhole and it's all hanging by a cosmic string.  So I was sitting here deciding when I knocked the flat screen over the back of the table but no damage done with my foot breaking its fall.  It also took the lamp with it and all my bits of paper with irreplaceable notes and bits of blog ideas.  Lots of swearing involved in getting it back up plus prayers that nothing had happened to it.  I might have found some dill nice person interested in taking the treadmill and that would be such a nice Christmas present.  I might be inclined to tidy up the study and put down new carpet since I'm almost through to the concrete floor in places.

And mother has lasted another year.  Depression at the back of my mind just waiting for the wrong moment to gallop out and hit me.  The yawning black hole of 2016 stretches ahead,  visit, recover, visit and on and on.  She is more tired, in bed more often than not and has another chest infection.  For the first time she has all her cards finished and filed and isn't doing any more.  The boxes, usually all over her corner at this time of year, are neatly stacked. She watches only her favourite dvds and doesn't bother with the others.  And Christmas is only 25 days away but StarWars is only 16 days away so she can go after either date but not before.  Besides I haven't paid for her teeth yet.

Sister is still in pain, poor thing.  Yes, that's a poor attempt at sympathy.  And pink cricket balls?
Abbott planning an insurrection?  He couldn't plan his jockstrap right way round.  Malcolm T, sounds like a stateman, speaks with a forked tongue like the Liberal to the bone that he is.  And please someone put Dutton out of my misery and hand him a poison chalice.  Not that I'm happy with Victorian Politics, the Labor party is beginning to rival Canberra for fuck-ups.  Give us trains on tracks instead of promises not that I'll be using them.  I'm having enough trouble with bus drivers who hate walkers.

So pleased I did not fork out the loot for the ritzy walker.  I now have several other choices for the money.  I'm almost there for a dishwasher but can't afford the plumber.  A shade cloth over the front patio but what a waste if I win Tattslotto and build the conservatory I really want.  Concrete ramps at all the outside doors because I'll kill myself lifting the bloody walker over the steps but have you had a quote for concrete lately? I don't nearly have enough for that.  I keep getting junk mail for a cleaning service, how lovely but I couldn't let them in before I cleaned up and if I cleaned up I wouldn't need the cleaning service. A freestanding exhaust that goes over the stove, I could do that but I can't afford the carpenter to rip out the cupboards over the stove to put the exhaust up. That would also involve a plasterer and a paint job and God forbid that I should disturb SuperMouse who is still alive and not fried because he's made a nest out of the insulating material between the stove walls.  Which is really why I don't need a freestanding exhaust because I bought a bench oven so I wouldn't have to put the big one on.  Don't laugh, it's perfectly rational to a humanitarian.

I've missed a lot of science stuff this year including my darling boys who won a heap of awards and I've only just found out by Internet stalking because they've been overseas so often this year I haven't been able to catch up.  Thank you Abbott for dismissing Science as fiction in favour of your Bible studies.  

And in case you are wondering, the cat is fine.

Ritzy wheelie cancelled

Go Daffy, I understand perfectly.  It all started early yesterday morning with a visit to Medicare/Centrelink and if I ever find out which imbecile decided it would be a good idea to move Medicare from Southland to the middle of nowherebus, I will pull his limbs off and beat him to death.
People everywhere so I decided not to wait and get my medicare card unhooked from my mother's bank account where it's been for 6 years.  What's another few months of her paying for my doctor's bills since she's the reason I visit.
Next Southland and a walk to the bus over cobblestones, up, down, sideways and no op shop buys because of a six inch step to get the walker over.  Bus came bringing trouble.  Now I know most women can multi-task with ease but wrangling a bag over the shoulder while getting the walker up the step while touching on the myki as you turn the corner into the bus proper and fall into a seat is a neat trick.
Getting off the bus in reverse is worse because there is a drop to the pavement which I usually manage by swinging off the pole. In this case it was touch off and bodily throw the walker out the door and buggar you lot waiting to get on, me first.
Missed the stop where the lift is.  Well, says I, managed the bus so what's the problem about an escalator.  Nothing actually except for the fact that the walker begins to tower over one's head as the bloody thing reaches the top, take the brakes off and don't let the bag slip off the shoulder and make a run like you're going for Platform 1+3/4.
Still on the 2nd floor and need 3rd but I know where the lift is.  $39 for a camera battery later and I'm on the downhill run and food.  I know I should have asked for it all in a bag but I've handled large trolleys and trays before but but small walkers, different animals.  Tray and food go one way, walker goes the other.  Thank you lovely girls who picked up the mess while I stood wanting to die.  Foodies gave me a free meal, darlings.
Still going downhill, heading towards the lift, decide because of screaming in pain foot to go down the travelvator.  Done that before with large trolley, but large trolley has grip wheels, walker doesn't and is wobbling from side to side because there's no way I'm letting go of one hand on the rail. 
I'm still on the 2nd floor, need ground floor for eggs so groan all the way to the lift, gallantly let women and children go first only because of the screaming and waving of ice-creams. 
Finally eggs, lettuce and Aldi's treasure of Christmas goodies which I wasn't going in for but specials which I was, hadn't arrived yet.  Muttering under breath I finally stagger towards taxi.
Driver very kindly throws walker onto back seat where it just fits.  Throws everything else in as well, the eggs survived. Throws everything out when we reach home sweet home.
Walker in front, try opening large gate without doing in a rib.  Lift walker over the half inch to the driveway, walk half on grass and half on drive because it doesn't fit.  Lift walker up two steps, lose another rib opening front door, lift walker up step to house.
Run in grab phone and cancel order for ritzy big arse walker.  I am not going anywhere where I will have the need to sit down.

Same thing today. Taxi to Doc Marvin who falls on desk laughing when I crash into his office door after missing the half inch carpet strip.  Blood pressure up a bit 166/80, BGL up but consistantly the same up for the last two months and it's not much.  Blood test sometime before Christmas.  BGL my fault for not reading the bottle that says take two, I can't see the damn things let alone read at that time of the morning. I have a full box of panic pills but I panic if I don't have a script.  All done.
Crash walker into surgery door  because it opens in.  Nearly fall over the footpath where the gumtree has tilted it like an earthquake landslide.
Safely across the road, safely to the bus stop, safely into the bus with the help of a schoolkid.  Driver waits patiently for me to negotiate downward to the footpath.  Kerb is six inches below me so by this time throwing the walker and following is becoming second nature.  Negotiate 3 doors into the Home where I fall into a chair and get hysterical laughter instead of sympathy. And that was my mother.

So I have worked out exactly where I will be walking with walker and it's not far.  The taxi company will be safely in the black while I'm out and about. Stuff buses.  There is a plus, I didn't panic once about falling over because of my lousy balance. On the minus side it didn't help one bit with the foot crunching pain.