Some people are so needy

Of course I didn't forget Andrew but you were on holidays and I didn't get a holiday but now you're home and away from children.

Enjoy and I'm sorry but I couldn't resist half unwrapping it.

I wouldn't trust Australia post with a rock let alone an Easter egg.

So for our country belle, Miss O'Dyne, what could be better than a lambie tea pot.

 And look what I found for River, the infamous Harry Dresden auto, brilliant.

 

I thought of Elephant's Child as soon as I saw this penguin teapot, just sorry it wasn't on one of those Antarctic Cruise Liners.

And for myself a strawberry, chocolate and coffee cake which I would gladly share with all of you but you know what Australia Post would do to a slice of this.  I'll eat your share, I'm so obliging like that.

I'm still recovering from the antibiotics that didn't kill whatever's rattling in my chest (thinks of Ripley) and my sinus is acting up and the other end got a good whack of cranberry juice to stop that nonsense. I still have to see mother tomorrow and I bet there won't be a hot cross bun to be had anywhere.

 

Pigeons.

I don't know where to start with all the pigeons I've been playing with these past weeks.
Mother is 86 and 8 days and is still taking up more of my time than our so-called heavenly overlord did making this planet.
My sister is still perfecting her inner and outer bitch but I dress better than she does.
Granddaughter is still blessing Teh Lord because an anonymous donor made up the money for her to haul off to the big Christian blessing conference to bring the word and love to the whole of America. I won't worry as long as Trump is on the other side of the continent. I just wish the girl would not sound as if she'd been brainwashed by a choir of angels with a harp in one hand and a money bag in the other. Crowd sourcing is just another name for internet begging.
New staff and old staff at the Home are working well.  I wish I could say the same about the office staff who left the old girl without the special air mattress she needs to prevent pressure sores since last Thursday.  But of course, today is a holiday so no mattress until tomorrow and the care staff must not usurp the authority of them in charge by getting in a mattress at the weekend. I await the wrath of Doc Marvin if it's not there by Wednesday.
Anybody local want a lovely large coffee table with ball and claw feet and glass panels in the top?
I'm only letting it go because I'm worried about falling through the glass even though they're all separated by wooden panels.
Yes, I could do that, after all I stabbed myself in the foot with a pencil the other night.  The top of my foot. It would take a CSI team to work out exactly how I managed that.  Strange to look down and see a shattered pencil sticking straight up out of my foot and the other half shattered pencil across the floor.  Fortunately it was the lead part so I didn't have to worry about splinters.  It was also in the most awkward place to put a bandage.  Hmmm, lead poisoning.
So that was a small pencil now you know why I'm worried about a very large glass coffee table.
Now I'm going to the pub before mother rings with more trouble. 

Thank God it's Monday (I'm joking)

Kawana MP Jarrod Bleijie, Queensland's former attorney general says he was outraged by the revised version of the national anthem played at the University of the Sunshine Coast's 20th anniversary last month.  Judith Durham's version emphasises Australia's Indigenous heritage, with lyrics like "and honouring the Dreaming"and "combine our ancient history and cultures everywhere". 
With all that's going on in the world, he feels it's important to make a stand against this because it's wrong and rejects the claim the anthem is out of date.  The Queensland opposition leader, Lawrence Springborg said the Australian people should make any changes not university activists.  Good on ya, Jarrod, sing it proud because most of us don't know the bloody words anyway and only in Queensland would this make the papers.  I refrained from looking up his opinions on everything because I was eating breakfast while the tradie was putting in the new heater and I was withing range of a drill to put through my brain.  Andrew dear, the tradie is really cute.  I digress, I hate the damn anthem, refuse to learn the words and wanted "I still call Australia home" because the thought of a nice gay boy singing the national song would have given a lot of Parliamentarians strokes on the spot.  And I like Peter Allen much better than Jarrod Bleijie.

I gave the Murdoch wedding pictures a miss, Nancy Reagan finally died aged 94, I wonder if her astrologist predicted that.  The Abbott book?  I'll wait til it reaches the op shop but I will say Credlin has no taste in men and they wouldn't let Bronnie apologize for the helicopter, like she would have, ha!

Tradie is still going.  Now gathering up my spare bricks to fill in the enormous cavity behind the old Vulcan heater.  It's so huge I could have rented it out as airbnb. More money though since I needed an extra surround and a new flue.  That will be good to watch. They pull the old one up through the roof and drop the new one down.  I'm still in my dressing gown since they showed up at 8 and I was lucky I heard the gate squeak in time to put it on.  I no longer care about the state of the lounge which looks like "hoarder in training" so he just moved everything out of the way while I staggered trying to get some balance.  It appears I will have to bite the bullet and see the specialist and maybe have sharp things stuck up my nose for a biopsy and after that my deviated septum corrected. It's either that or falling flat on my face half the time.

But poor as I will be, I have found my ideal glassed in front room.  I'll start saving next week.

I have a brick wall exactly where that fire place is but I'm too decrepit to chop wood so that will be a bookcase.

Mother made it, 86 and one day.

God bless our Badass!

 

I really needed a laugh and this was it.

There's a few Australian names I bet she'd like to whisper to Bond.

Come on now, how about a bit of smiting

Yes, I'm thinking of you, Cory Bernadi and your mouldy band of godbothering right wing 'don't mind if the gays kids kill themselves because of bullying' slugs.  Something has to be done about this ratpack of a Parliament and there's a few Labor snots included here.

Best quote from a newspaper today:

"All the coalition have done is replace budgie smugglers with a very expensive suit".

It goes so well with Elephant's Child's  favourite comment,  "same pig, better lipstick".

I have said so many times on this blog, we live in a secular country so if you are elected to Parliament, leave your religion at the door.  You're here to represent all of us not just the people YOU consider to be righteous. 

And just because your invisible overlord in the sky didn't put the word 'SCIENCE' in that magical book you put so much stock in, doesn't mean it isn't real.  And if He didn't want us to have knowledge, he should have been smarter and disguised the apple as Durian (look it up).  

And why the minion comment?  Had a good look at Abbott's and Bernardi's ears lately? 

Over and out Homeland Security, go menace an innocent child.

No dignity at all

Well that answers that question.  If they can reach it, they'll play with it.

I already feel drunk so I might as well drag out the Bombay

Podiatrist this morning so happy to wake up at 6.30 for a shower since it takes forever to scrub feet without falling over.  I tell you one day I will have a shower recess with no door and room for a large chair.
Feed the cat and throw it out the back door because it's been out all night playing around with leaves under the full moon.  Doing that irritating little dance of coming up to the door and then scooting  off again.  I gave up in the finish and left the door ajar hoping the axe murders were busy on the other side of town.
Breakfast so I can take the vile antibiotics with the five pages of side affects and turn on the news. So when did 6.30 suddenly turn into 5 past 9.  Check the bedroom clock, battery is fritzed. I can never get knickers or shoes on when I panic about time.  And the phone rings, Flaming Mo wants to come and measure up for the heater.  He'll be here about 9 tomorrow morning.
Taxi was quick. So glad I didn't spend a lot on a walker now I don't worry about the clanks and bangs as it's thrown in the back seat.  Lots of cars at the clinic, not much space and I trip on the gutter and fall into a line of garbage bins.  Little old lady approx. age of 120 helps me up while driver gets out the walker and barely hides his hysteria.
Good news, my feet are in spendid order.  Barely a callous, no cracks and we've given up on the toenail that's been ripped out 3 times.  It's truly cactus and I'd have been burnt as a witch in the days of the Devil's mark on sweet looking rich ladies.
Walk to the bus stop and remember not to catch the bus to Dandenong this time.  Driver I did get obviously trained at the kamikazi school of passenger bruising.  And how am I supposed to read the Myki balance which is floating in a sea of muck.  Another little old lady helped my walker off the bus.  I'm starting to think my natural red hair might need a touch up.  Also remembered not to take the walker up the escalator and went to the lift.  The lady in the wheelchair behind me was almost crunched because the door slammed too fast.  The button panel inside was like the control panel of a 747 but I finally found the open symbols.  Then we both stood inside trying to decide which button to push for the 3rd floor because button 5 had all the things we wanted.  As chicks we can think laterally and pushed every button and looked at every floor until we recognized a familiar shop.
Lunch with coffee and walnut sponge was delicious.
I bought one pair of earrings, clip, great brand which I've been wearing since the 70s.
I picked up the script I'd missed the other day.
I managed to get down the travelvator without incident or accident. Count that as miraculous.
Taxi and the Home where mother hoped I'd brought a strong bag to take home the bloody garden gnome in case the new owners tossed him out.  I'd like to see them move the bird bath with the 20kgs of rocks we put in so the residents couldn't push it over.
Now I'm going to rat through the freezer and find an ice-cream, there's always one sneaking under the frozen peas.

Countdown 12 days and she hits 86.

Climate change moves slowly

This is what happens with one little change and a period of time. Earth change doesn't dump on us all of a sudden unless we get hit with a great lump of space rock or the magnetic poles reverse.
The iceberg collision is here My favourite penguins have to be the Adelies and to see them fighting to keep their colony going makes me want to get out there and carry a few or I'll pay for Elephant's Child to do it for me. I don't like the cold and she loves it and penguins.

As you can see from the Map, Cape Denison is where Mawson's hut was built and where volunteers are now reclaiming them from years of ice coverage.  It will take a lot more to save the Adelies.

And just to add a brighter note, Warnie managed to get bitten on the head by a snake not on the bum by a spider as I had hoped but still it hurt and Elephant's Child will laugh and not cry about the penguins.

Procrastinate and even then get it wrong

I'm printing this out and handing it to the poor bloke who is going to sell me a new gas space heater.
While the RatPack in Canberra is still dithering about whether to slug us another 5% GST or do the decent thing and halve their own Superannuation and cut off all perks to former RatPackers of both parties to save money, I decided to get in first, just in case.

The dear old Vulcan has been chugging away for 40 years now with only a few hiccups like the freezing winter when the fan called it quits.  Fortunately we found a vulcan parts place only a click away and a new one was installed, upside down and everything had to be pulled out again and re-done but it purred.  The cats were happy, I still had two at this time and they were happy on mohair rugs either side of the oil upright heater.  I had six loads of clothes and blankets and a tiny air heater. The other problem with it was the ceramic bricks used to conduct the heat, fragile to say the least and to buy one was more expensive than to buy a whole new box but saving the best of the bad lot paid off next time one shattered.  Automatic thermostat gave up the ghost fairly early on but the tradie said not to replace it, just do it myself.  Good advice, getting up and down was usually the only exercise I got all winter.

This year I have some money, almost enough to put down a decent deposit and pay the rest off. The computer found several in the area and one I really liked with a 4 star energy rating and a nice beige colour.  Rang Hardly Normal for a price. I was shunted to 3 different departments with mumblings, ditherings and silences.  Finally someone found the price list but I'm sure I didn't hear right when they said it was just over two thousand but probably 3 when the installation was factored in but they did have one in store.  This was for someone else who hadn't come in to pay yet but they were prepared to piss them off in favour of me because I was going to pay it off not pay at once.  Don't they just love that interest.  Nothing about checking out the house to see if it would fit in the Vulcan space, just arrive and sign the papers.

I tried the next on the list.  This was a list of showrooms that had the heaters on display and could be turned on for me to view.  HN was on this list and I think they must have bribed someone. The Good Guys sold them but didn't have any on display so I ditched them but I will come back with another story.  I also looked at the possibility of buying a gas cooker and heater together and pay both.  Good Guys had a lovely range, various prices though for almost the same sort of cooker so I'm reading the small print and measuring up when I discovered that an under the hob grill was almost never there.  One did have the grill in the oven.  So that is something on the procrastinate list and the mouse gets to live in the insulation for a bit longer.

Next cab off the rank was a place called Flaming Mo's and it's five minutes away by car or an hour of me walking.  A favour called in from the Nephew should do it.  Actually a few favours, the smoke alarm fell out of the ceiling again and now I have six holes to be polyfilled,  the light in the front room is still hanging down because they don't put the proper screws in with new fittings just to make you spend more and 5 years ago he promised to put in a double electric point in the laundry so I would not have double adapters for dryer and washer.  Still waiting.
Back to Flaming Mo's, the guy knew everything about the heater I wanted, gave me a price but couldn't say about an installation fee until the gas fitter came and checked the flue and the space size.
He did ask if I had a chimney and I said no, silence, am I sure?  I have a flue but the builder said it was a waste of money to have a chimney without an open fire so what I saved there I spent on electrical outlets except in the bloody laundry. 

So going up to have a look as soon as I can grab himself which should be tomorrow considering what he put in the recycle bin which I can't move.  Of course you know what will happen, we will probably have the mildest winter in years. 

He said what and he's nearly what?

Shane Warne thinks we evolved from aliens.  I always thought he didn't quite fit this planet.  But he has an excuse, he's on a (pardon me as I choke with laughter) reality show.  I rather hope he gets bitten on the arse by an unevolved earth spider because ain't no-one is going to suck that venom out.

And the other hideous news belongs to Baarmy Joyce.  I never quite thought about this before but no-brain is just one heartbeat away from being Prime Minister. I don't care how much it costs, I want Turnbbot protected 24 hours a day, don't even let him get a paper cut in case it turns septic. Baarmy as P.M., just the thought is brain crushing. I wonder if there is a chance of stunning him and hiding him in the middle of one of those ghastly sheep ships where he won't be found until well out of Australian waters.

Every time I think of this country lately, I start humming "Somewhere over the rainbow".  Watching too much question time in Parliament will do that to you.  

And I really do have a unicorn and you can't prove I don't.

Science is not boring so watch and learn

I think I lost a few brain cells trying to get this Youtube on the blog so even if you don't like science stuff, stick with it and watch.
Such a simple device that could do so much good in the world and the scientists involved spend half their time begging for funds.  What else would you expect with a government that can barely spell science but can spell 'unemployed' to scientists at the CSIRO.
With the Zika virus now running rampant across the world, it's a shame that this is not at every airport where a simple test would detect an infected person before they entered the country.

The mining boom is over, the time of the science boom should be beginning.  It wouldn't even leave giant holes in the ground but it would save people.  But testing takes time and money before a profit is realized so the scientists are right back to begging.

 But here's a thought, since James is throwing his money, $10 million it's rumoured, away on a diamond ring for his current singing bimbo perhaps he could throw a few bucks for a much better cause and help 10 million people.

Cynics Rule!

 

After yesterday I really need some owls laden with chocolate and you lot can  contribute to my 6 million dollar comfort fund.  I love electronic begging.  Below is a post from granddaughter's FB public page.  If any of you viewers are familiar with the show The Mentalist, you'll recognize the way this woman lets information fall into her ears and runs with it.

 

"Guys..GOD IS INCREDIBLE.  Capitals don't even come close to expressing how I feel about Jesus right now.
WARNING: This is a long post, so SO worth it!!

Today, a lady who I have never met before approached me at church this morning for prayer for pain in her legs that has been affecting her for around 2 years now.  While we were talking she noticed my rather obvious accent and asked where I'm from.  When I said Australia, she bursts into tears and starts talking about how she has been asking the Lord to lead her to an Australian that she could connect with, because she had a dream when she was 14 (she is now 41) about a group of people with unusual bone structure that she had never seen before.  God recently reminded her of it and told her to look up 'Aborigines in Australia' and when she did, every page was covered with these faces she had seen in her dream all those years ago!.  God placed in her heart an unquenchable desire to come to Australia and be a light to the Aboriginal population of Australia, and God connected her with me to begin the fulfillment of this calling!
It doesn't even stop there...I told her I am from Brisbane, Queensland (my city and state) and again she bursts into tears. "That's where God wants me to go!!" she says excitedly, as she jumps up and down on her COMPLETELY HEALED legs.  She then asked me what church I will go to when I go home, and when I said Glory City, she almost screamed at me "THAT'S THE CHURCH GOD HAS CALLED ME TO!!".
There is no such thing as coincidence in the Kingdom.  The faithfulness of God is coming to light in more people's lives every single day, and the hope of His glory is invading this Earth like never before."

Of course the woman has money troubles and wants to bring her entire family to Australia so last I heard of this was my GG trying to raise funds to bring her to this country to do the Lord's work.  Call me a cynic but this cult church in Oz is in the business of making money not handing it out.
If only I'd known that just talking to my GG would completely heal my diabetes, my arthritic foot, my fat backside, I'd ring her immediately.
I'm an equal opportunity cynic, I loathe all religions, not all of the people involved, just the religions.
And if they want and need to invest their hope in an invisible friend floating around on some cloud, good luck to them.  To me He's just a vicious old fart who gets bored with peace and harmony so creates another war or famine or flood to have a bit of a laugh.
So sorry if I've offended any of the faithful who are reading here but this is the beauty of having an opinion that doesn't come out of a book written over two thousand years ago.  And I can't imagine anyone of faith rolling by this blog.  
I'm now going to tempt retribution by plugging in the vaccum cleaner to finish the entrance hall.

Stuff January

A short post to let you know I'm still here.....just.  January always brings some crap that makes my mind go into meltdown and it takes a while to regain equilibrium. (I don't care if that word is the proper meaning, I can spell the bloody thing)
Major cleaning and de-cluttering and moving of heavy books and heaving vac cleaner around the carpet  and that's only the entrance hall.
Now leaving for the Home and major de-cluttering of mother's things.  New owners are taking over on the 29th February and I don't want them to be telling her she has too much and she does. 
Other ghastlies, granddaughter mixed up with hideous cult type church in Brisbane and is in California to learn to be Minister and Missionary to spread the love and goodness of Teh Lord.
So if you want to give yourself the horrors, goggle Glory City Church, Brisbane but don't miss the other website debunking them.  And while you are there, do the same for the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry in Redding, California.  At least this mob gives out the prices of all their services and International students must pay up front and no refunds. Also pay for all their missionary trips and are encouraged to work part time in the poorest of the communities to help spread the love and drivel of Teh Lord.  Taking away part time jobs of the poorest people would help much.
This has led me to the newest invention of Facebook, crowd funding or crowd sourcing or the way I see it, electronic begging.  And believe me the girl is well and truly in and brainwashed all the way. It's another wonderful thing her mother has done for the world and if this thieving lying bitch is in with the cult church (which started in Brisbane) then she's in it for the money nothing else but dragging in my granddaughter with her is unforgivable. Although the kid has always had a missionary mind even at Catholic College. The elder granddaughter just travels the world  and I don't want to know when she goes to India and stays AirBnB in a country of ingrained rape culture.
Oh great, short post and everything pours out.
Have not even seen StarWars yet.

Nearly made it, missed it by thaaat much.

Dear Andrew says his hangover is much better.

Next year I'm making this awesome reindeer for my pleasure and to terrify the cat.

Only StarWars  fans will get the joke.  And no, I haven't been to see the next instalment yet.

And I thought I'd give you a break from Harry.

Mother had a turn in the shower and was rushed back to bed and put on oxygen.  Now she's back on antibiotics.  She was okay Christmas Day but tired.  Her roomie died through the night, just went to sleep and bye bye.  Boxing Day, tired, so mother stayed in bed.  I was in the middle of dressing an angel doll, just getting into the sewing  of petticoats and lace which had to be done on the doll otherwise the porcelain arms can break when I got the call.  You know, oh don't come down, I'll be okay but she isn't until I walk in the room.  Bloody woman.  Doc Marvin was in today and can't believe how fast her lungs collapsed into infection because they were clear last week.

  

I have a few people to blame.  Don't come into a nursing home and slobber over the  residents, their immune system is shit and your germs aren't.  My sister and I don't kiss our mother, well if I kissed her she would think she was dying.  I've been saying this for 7 years, don't kiss them, you've had years to kiss them and if you haven't kissed them enough in that time then you aren't going to make up for it now. 

So now I'm back with Angel doll and it is not working.  Angel wings are different from fairy wings, fairy wings I can do, stupid angels, no.  To top it off, it's one of those CopperArt dolls from China where the dress is made for a standing up body but then they go and twist the body to make it look different from the other 4 million Angels they made that week.  I went into the sewing room and packed fabric in boxes and let the empty brain space do its work and I've got it and remembered how to stiffen the wings, hairspray.  I even found the white feathers I'd been looking for.  Hand beading is now going to be sticking on with glue beading.  I've cleaned up the beads and can't find a crystal or a pearl anywhere.  I'll go feed the cat and think on it.  Bloody woman couldn't wait until I'd finished to have another episode.

I may need an intervention

I'm like Pavlov's dog except it's Potter's dog.  Every time Potter ranges into view, I'm compelled to press go and read the latest.  So in case you need a sob or two today in the Christmas madness, I give you these.

 I love taking those online quizzes and I invariably come up as Luna and place of residence is Hogwarts.

I can't argue with a Patronus, at least it wasn't a box of chocolates. 

Now you have to have a tiny tear by this stage and last night when I found this, big tears.  I always get very snivelly around Christmas.  I think it's having to bypass the booze, chocolates, puddings, cakes and Pavlovas.  I really miss the pavs and it's no good saying just a small slice, that has never been in my vocabulary.  Dear lord, what on earth constitutes a small slice unless that's the bit I leave for others to fight over.  I'd love to see Luna wielding her wand over a Pavlova, pink with a Unicorn holding a strawberry in a field of marshmallow and cream.  I must get my fingers off the keyboard and my mind off Potter.

Yes, if my hand is full of wand and the other hand is full of food, I'm very calm.

Penguins for Elephants

I went looking for a really good penguin photo for Elephant's child for her competition win and I was lost for hours.  Penguins everywhere and cute and I can't resist cute so you're getting cute penguin blog and liking it.

 How can you not keep calm watching penguins excepts with Attenborough who likes to draw your attention to every predator in the Southern Ocean chewing and chomping down on baby penguins. Not calming David!

 This is for calming sleep.  EC you will be dreaming of Antarctica and ice bergs and little swimmy friends all night.

And dreaming of all that water will bring about the usual consequences but I've got that covered as well.  That toilet roll holder is just the most and the only thing to make it better is a fishy voice screeching, "fill it up" when the roll runs out.

Just had to ask this question, do they have knees?  I mean they're a bit short on for legs so maybe knees aren't there but we should know this. We should know if penguins have knees.  And because this is keeping you up you should have a calming cup of something, gin, vodka, anything.

And while you are pondering the wisdom of penguins having knees, your cat is nicking your chocolate chip cookie and so it goes on, do cats have knees?

I'm not a big lover of fan fiction.

I don't go looking for Hogwarts History or what happened after Volde turned to ashes and it's just a coincidence that the ticket for the express is one of my favourite wallpapers.  I mean there are times when I really want to be on that train and a long way from here but it's a dream that isn't going to come true.

But when I came across this about Kreacher and Dobby, I admit to a sob or two escaping maybe even four or five.  It's just the time of year when I get whacked out and tend to cry over the most ridiculous things.  Doesn't everyone sob when they drag the damn yellow recycle bin out and then find it's only Tuesday.  

I'm going to remember this and have it put in my will that when my nephew goes, socks will be put on his grave in memory of his philosophy that two holey socks when worn one over the other make a whole sock.  Dobby would agree.

I've been at the Home so nothing for it but to cat blog

 I want it but I want two spoons, one spoon always gets broken.

 I've just spoken to my sister, I'm with you Bill.

 Cute but no saucer, no spoon!  One must keep up standards of tea drinking.

Be okay for the Bombay Sapphire though.

 I really stand out in the crowd, give me a bad day and I'll stand on the crowd,

 Brilliant thinking outside the square but they would still find the one bauble under the couch and play with that at midnight.

I'm still thinking of using the cat as a Christmas decoration but I haven't quite got the plum colour right. I'm not cruel, I'm using solar lights since he spends most of the time flat out in the sun so he might as well recharge himself.

I will call him silver balls.

What goes on the Web, stays on the Web

I try very hard to be anonymous on the Web. Wouldn't want my ex or his crappy wife to come calling and spoiling the ambience.

No photos except one taken 50 years ago. But always there's one pest that looks and finds out about my secret life as an artist's model with all that entails.

Thanks Jayne I'm sure I'll be able to find a way to repay the favour.

I miss the Bohemian life, Absinthe, mad artists, passionate sex (I wish I could remember sex) and wild dancing on re-enforced table tops.  That damn water was cold though and I'm sure pretty lights weren't the only things floating in it.  Chopped my hair short but still  have the Big A.  I wonder if it still glitters in the light of the full moon when I dance to the call of the Goddess.