Wednesday, October 19, 2005


I visited the 'My Gay Marriage' blog to see how Luke and Matthew were enjoying married life in Canada. They have a lovely apartment in Vancouver, have already been travelling and celebrating Canada's Thanksgiving Day. They posted photographs of the turkey, the decorations and the table set for two. Two chairs, two glasses and two plates for two lovely young men.

Instead of making me happy for them, it made me incredibly sad. They've already celebrated, alone, a day that wasn't Australian and without their family. They're getting ready for Halloween and Christmas, together, again without their family.

There were other things missing from their photographs, a dog under the table, a pampered cat on the couch, a baby on one knee and a toddler draped over a shoulder. They had to leave Australia for their dream wedding and they'll have to stay away to have their dream family.

It's Australia's loss that Luke and Matthew prefer to remain in Canada where they are recognized and respected as a married couple. They were, and are supported in every way by family, a Christian family who only want their happiness.

Contrast them to Max McCosker, 55, who stayed in the closet even though he's had a relationship for 25 years. In the aftermath of his arrest and trial in Fiji (about which I am not qualified to comment) his life is now open and almost destroyed. His family has turned away from him. It wasn't easy to come out 30 years ago and in some circumstances almost impossible. How sad that a family who's known him is silent. He's still the same man, although no longer with a hidden life. Does he regret not taking a chance on family to come out as a young man, to live with his partner? Only he can answer that.

There is a war being fought in this country, using the weapons of hate, fear, intolerance, law and religious dogma. Homosexuals must not be allowed to be happy, to flourish, to be themselves, to create families.

Dreadnought aka John Heard has said that same-sex attracted individuals are not made for marriage, it warps them. Fellow Catholic, Cardinal George Pell makes no secret of his feelings about same-sex marriage. Bill Muehlenberg of the AFA doesn't believe in same-sex marriage because he thinks homosexuals are no better than alcoholics and animals. The Federal Government legislates against same-sex marriage to score political points with religious groups but then recognises partners in its Anti-Terrorism Bill, s.105.32 (2) family member of a person means (a) the person's spouse, de facto spouse or same-sex partner.

Do homosexuals want marriage only for the legal benefits? No, I don't think that's the only reason. Marriage is a traditional ritual of commitment that has changed meaning over the centuries. It is now the most powerful way of saying, I take this person, in front of these witnesses, to be my love for the rest of my life. Children raised with this tradition of family love will go on to want the ritual for themselves and so society will be the richer.

We have no right to deny this tradition to any group of human beings for any reason, political or religious. It is not rational.

My apologies to Mr. McCosker if I give offence for using his story without his permission.


Kelly & Sam Pilgrim-Byrne said...

Very nicely said, JT. I've said it before, but can we clone you?


John said...

What a beautiful post.

To Dreadie: some of us are already warped :)

JahTeh said...

Hey Muriels, I'm already a crowd.

Kloppy, I still haven't figured out what he means by warped.

Gay Curmudgeon said...

I'm enjoying reading though your archives very much m'dear.

When people ask me why lesbians and gays want to be able to marry, the answer is this:

"It's the love, stupid."

The more I read of the DreadBeing the less I understand. If anyone has a primer with short words, diagrams, and brightly coloured arrows I'd like to borrow it.


River said...

"Do homosexuals want marriage only for the legal benefits?"
No, of course not. They want to marry because they're in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together.