DOUGHNUTS, HMMMMMMMMMM

It's Saturday night, the shops are shut and I don't have a car anyway but I'm still on the edge of a doughnut binge. Thank you Sam at Culturestrain. After weeks of pointedly ignoring Kirstie Alley's nasally, whining, grating voice spruiking Jenny Craig, I now automatically look up to watch that damn doughnut.

I used to hear the words 'chicken fettucine' and mutter, 'go vego, stupid fat tart' but like one of Pavlov's dogs I am drawn to that doughnut. I love doughnuts, iced, sugar, hot, cold it doesn't matter and now I have that yummy badness disappearing into that giant mouth and she's getting paid for it. She doesn't have to pay them the outrageous amounts for their crumby (joke) advice.

Doesn't Scientology teach manners, like it's not polite to speak with your mouth full, especially when it's full of a doughnut that I instantly start to crave. Come to think of it Sam, how much were you paid to get every fat person in the country to focus on that doughnut? Don't do it again or I'll hunt you down, put a doughnut in your hand and gnaw your arm off.


Seeing as I'm low on blood sugar (not even a biscuit stashed) I might as well have a go at TV showing every sport (that's free TV) under the sun without so much as a hint of anything leading up to the Winter Olympics. Winter - ice - skating - World Championships, U.S., Canada and last Thursday European Championships. Not a word about Irina Slutskaya winning her seventh European figure skating title, passing Sonja Henie and Katarina Witt. Is this just a jealousy thing because Melbourne has the Commonwealth games which I'm not going to watch unless they ice over the MCG?

I want an ice skating fix. I need it and so do the other three or five people who'll watch it. The games start on February 10 and I need to ease into the triple loops otherwise I'll spin out. Do something before Desperate Housewives take over again.