Wednesday, April 26, 2006

CONFUSION

Mum and I had only one more hospital to visit but now it's two as I've decided to split the tests.
The two at Monash Clayton are going to take 3 hours and that's as much as she can take at the moment. So X-ray and blood tests will be at Moorabbin which is closer and where the op will take place.

I spent the day going over everything we did yesterday. She remembers some of it but there's a point where exhaustion just takes over.

My Mother has enormous willpower to survive. What she is terrified of is losing her ability to think and be in control of her life. Finally she has talked about this but it's not something we can be truthful about. My sister has been a geriatric nurse for nearly 30 years and has noticed Mum's increasing, but not major, confusion over the last 12 months. The same routine followed every day, with the craft market once a month has kept her focused and on track.

It's not lack of concentration, it's an organic degeneration caused by the huge amount of medication she takes and a decrease of oxygen to the brain simply because she can't move around much. That's why it's been so noticable in the past two weeks of going to different hospitals. She becomes unfocused and disorientated which disappears the minute we're back in the house in familiar surroundings.

I can understand this fear. I think it's something that lurks in the back of everyone's mind, that we might lose our independence completely. I'll spend the next fortnight with her, just tidying her sewing things away ready for when she wants to start again although she'll never go back to the craft market. I found a beautiful piece of red wool today that she had forgotten so when I left she was deciding whether to make a dress or a suit. This is how we're going to keep her mind in good condition, now and after the 4th of May.

7 comments:

Mother Damnable said...

~ Sending love and best wishes ~

Link said...

Sorry to read that your Mum is not well. Its good that she's got you, and that you're aware and sensitive to her situation.

Brownie said...

"it's something that lurks in the back of everyone's mind, that we might lose our independence"

absolutely.
Is there anything I can do for you to make this easier?
Catminding?
Making soup?
anything. I will be there. Just say ...

outofctrl said...

Sorry to hear about your mom. But in any case you should be proud of the care you've been giving her.

R H said...

Greetings Miss JahTeh. It's late. I've just slammed a big comment on LP, of which I am chairman. Well I'm the only fool who donates to it, and the Markus can't afford to sack me.

Well this ordeal continues for you, but what else would you do, except see it out. I've discovered that in the end you're better to do that, it's always better to do the right thing, otherwise the pain later on is worse. Never ending.
I'm wishing you the best, and supporting you always.

Robert.

JahTeh said...

MD, winging them right back at you.

Link, What goes around, comes around and she was there when I needed her.

Brownie, never say child minding or cat minding. He would never go without the ten tennis balls he has nicked from the local kids. He hides them behind his bed.

OoC, If you need to adopt a parent, I may be available since I'm thinking of running away from home.

RH, I'm going straight over. I love your comment slamming.

Word verification is teaat, very Freudian.

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