Monday, May 29, 2006


It is a grey day and it's cold but it's a happy day. I just didn't remember until I walked through a pile of canine excrement that ended up under the mandarin tree because I didn't shut the gate and idiots didn't have their stupid dog on a leash.

It was made worse because the leg went again half way back from the shop and I was limping. I changed into mangy old slippers and raided the tree for breakfast. I limped back inside, dragging leg, slippers and about 2 kgs of said excrement. I had so much on the slipper I had to throw them both out, well the right one would have been okay but I'm not a one legged sailor. I then had to back track through the entire house, put mandarins in kitchen, turn on computer in study, move chair closer to fire, in other words, crap on the move. (sounds like Howard overseas)

I was thinking to myself (not talking, that would be crazy) the Blight used to do this all the time and I would have to clean it up and then it hit me. TODAY, the 28th of May, 6 glorious years ago he fled to the welcoming arms of his Blonde, Miss Ugly Universe. How could I have forgotten the wonderful sounds of silence. The absence of the neverending snoring. The slamming of the doors, the banging of the gates, the crashing of the cutlery because he could never find a spoon. He even made a noise putting his teeth in.

This calls for another sip of his vintage port, you remember the bottle I hid in the roof. I don't want to over-indulge I want it to last another 6 years.


Lord Sedgwick said...

"I limped back inside, dragging leg, slippers and about 2 kgs of said excrement."

and said Blight weighed in at ... ?

JahTeh said...

Enough to fertilize the Western Desert.

Brownie said...

Lucky You -congratulations.
Here's hoping Miss Ugly Universe is now sick to death of him too.

JahTeh said...

Miss Ugly Universe and Mr Ugly as Hell are extremely happy in each others arms, well they would be if they could reach around that far.

Rain said...

good, I like it when two deadbeats hook-up, less risk of them happening separately to other people (shudder)

JahTeh said...

Ooh Rain, hook up sounds like two barracudas, how did you guess?