Tuesday, May 02, 2006

MAYDAY!

I was hoping that it was Sunday when I woke up this morning because I stay home on Sunday and read the papers and eat chocolate.

It was Monday and it was raining and I had to go to Mother's.

I went outside and picked a lemon from the tree and the branch broke. I ended up halfway across the lawn flat on my back. The grass was wet and it was drizzling.

I'm really not going to like this week.

If I remember, I said this week was for keeping her mind focused. Scrap that.

I now know I'm not very good with two things, babies and little old ladies who are going in for surgery and are in pain and don't know what day it is.

I will begin to self-mutilate if I have to stay more than three nights.

I'm really not going to like this entire month.

9 comments:

Lord Sedgwick said...

The month could be worse.

Some amongst us are waiting with baited breath ("Beulah peel me a nebulizer.") for the postie to arrive with a "Senior's Card" which will give him a 5% discount at both "Sexyland" and www.mobilityaids.com.au

Like you say, "MAYDAY!"

Link said...

Ummm me too although two days will be month enough. Muvver's coming today. She who tries every angle possible to get a rise--other's emotional reactions being like oxygen to her. It has become difficult to work out whether the most outrageous lies she tells and well realises I have little energy to explore the veracity thereof (only a phone call away), are a result of senility, mental illness or simple mischief-making. Probably a combination of all three. She is a 9 year old in a 72 year old's body. Something happened to her when she was 9 -- my hypotheses and for the last 42 years at least, she has remained stuck at this age. I am quite quiet in the round, she however talks without taking the time to breathe, on only the one subject and reacts aggresively to the slightest hint of criticism. I will try not to throttle her I really will. But there are no guarantees. It is no wonder I have never had the desire to become like her, a muvver.

Lord Sedgwick said...

And as if by magic, the postie has landed!

Link, maybe we can be of assistance to each other. You'll be playing cards with a large group of citizens beyond reproach when a certain contract throttling is carried out. Likewise I will be at a performance of Ricky Wagner's Ring Cycle, with tickets, photos and sleeping pills to prove it, when the contra deal throttling occurs.

Muvvers! Someone should do something about them! And I'm depending on you Link to come to the party - or at the very least the wake!

outofctrl said...

I hope you feel better soon.

Link said...

He on most High consider me like Flynn.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Flynn, as in like the Inn of the Sixth Happiness, and the drinks are on me.

Thank you ballboys, thank you linesmen, thank you link, thank your mother for the rabbits.

JahTeh said...

'Strangers on a Train', don't think I don't remember that movie you plotters!

Link, it's the frightening part when you realize you have half her genes.

Do you get a gold senior's card for being an Excellency?

OoC, I hope you score soon, the suspense is killing me.

There is a wheelchair at the bottom of my word verification. I'm not looking at anyone, your excellency.

Brownie said...

The worst mentally regressive elderlies are the ones with money.
Ex mother-in-law 89: destroys a brick fence, her car and 3 others while reversing out of a driveway so loses her licence, fails to pass 3 tests, has no car but renews her RACV at the maximum level of $170.

She probably has one of those
'WE VALUE this citizen' cards too

JahTeh said...

When I get elderly with lots of money, my chauffeur will crash the car.