Yesterday I read a touching post at Mindless Munkey blogspot about the loss of his mother. I left a comment and today I went back and deleted it.
I couldn't leave it there because it wasn't right. A boy loses his mother only once. A mother loses a little of her boy with every extra step he takes away from her. A smart mother doesn't show it, she hides it. The first time he doesn't want a kiss because everyone's looking. When he'd rather play football than go shopping. His first girlfriend or boyfriend as the case may be.
When a boy, loses his mother it's the first loss for him. He will never be the same boy again. He now has to grow up on his own terms.
Mothers always have a spot deep in their subconscious where the dread thoughts are kept. We're never prepared for death or illness but in reality we are, because we're mothers. It's hidden in the fine print in the job description. It's not in the job description for a son, that only activates with the first cry of the firstborn.
While my heart goes out to Munkey, I can truly say, "I don't know how you feel".