Monday, December 18, 2006

WHAT'S MISSING THIS YEAR


The next relo, friend, neighbour or dog in the street that tells me I should have made an effort to get the lights up for Christmas is going to get a doll shoved up the nearest orrifice or strangled with a set of lights. The photo up top is only the window and WWP didn't do it justice as usual. This does not show the four trees covered in bud light nets, the overhead icicles, snowflakes and stars around the carport roof or the flower sprigs in the garden. All of which have to be programmed to twinkle, run, flash and change colour.



Inside this window, where little children love to press their snotty noses which I get to wash off, there are 18 dolls, 1 plush reindeer, 2 Christmas bears, 1 wooden train with 3 carriages, 1 huge wooden boat, 4 knitted elves, 3 knitted dolls, 1 ceramic Christmas tree with lights and about 30 metres of tinsel with assorted Christmas baubles. These all have to be unpacked and repacked.


We had a ramp put in to make walking easier for Mum so you can see how close the kids can get to the window. Well the little dears can piss off and bother someone else this year because this Grinch wouldn't come to the party. I have put her favourites dolls up in the bedroom where she can see them and she's allowed to have the candles with batteries in them since it would be hard even for her to set the house on fire with batteries.

They missed the best sight of Christmas anyway. The Brick Outhouse is driving a VW and watching me trying to get in is almost as good as watching me trying to get out. I managed to twist an artificial knee for pete's sake. It's akin to watching proteins unfold under a microscope. Trust the Germans to make a shoebox on wheels and sell it to a gullible public. The only good thing about it is that the kid can't hoon around in something that sounds like a two-stroke mower.

7 comments:

R H said...

Oh Christmas, shine for me.

Gerry said...

Jah Teh, you should have made an effort to get the lights up for Christmas.

Kurt Reply said...

Bah, humbug.
Or should I say, Bah, VWbug.
This is what you need down there in Oz:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-11-07-christmas-trees_x.htm

JahTeh said...

Watch it Bear, I have a PhD in ripping the stuffing out of inanimate furry objects. Are your lights up? Sorry, forgot you're off the plonk so the nose won't be used this year.

JahTeh said...

Kurt Reply, I couldn't get that page to load but if they're the trees that have the point at the bottom and the broad base at the top then we have them at K-Mart. Total insanity in green but they also sell them in a bilious purple. I'll stick with my little tinsel tree that Noah sold to me on the Ark.

kurt said...

Yes, they were the upside down trees.
I should add that your doll display is very nice.
I thought you might get a kick out of these Christmas lights. Only recently have I learned of the Flying Spaghetti Monster so this is a real novelty:
http://feministlawprofs.law.sc.edu/?p=1306

Brownie said...

oh Jahteh I am speechless ... it's all so wonderful .. just like that 'Christmas With The Kranks' where their neighbourhood goes mental because they don't put their Frostyon the roof as they normally do.

and yes yes 'it is the packing up that is a drag. just like rock.n.roll - maybe there is a gap in the Services Market? Post-Christmas ROADIES who rush about packing up the deccies.
Ring a Roadie ...
much love,

now i have to try to recall my gmail password for this unfamiliar computer in the house I am sitting ...
Hug your Mom Happy Christmas from me.