Sunday, January 28, 2007

SUNDAY NEWS

I only get the paper on Sunday and there’s not much in it for a laugh except today there was a pile of gold.

The AFL has put forward a proposal that membership of a football club would gain migrant points on their citizenship test. Campbell Rose said that for people to integrate into our society they have to understand the fabric of our community and learn the principles of how Australians lived.

How sweet to think that football could do that. Let’s hope that any future citizens haven’t read about the sex romps, marital break-ups, drunken fights, drunk driving charges and hoon behaviour on interstate flights.

There have been reports that David Beckham has been taking lessons to lower the pitch of his squeaky voice and is studying method acting. Sniggers, loud guffaws and oh, stop my sides are hurting. Good luck to the squirrel hiding inside the Beckham suit.

One in five marriages and relationship breakdowns are being caused by internet sex and affairs. Relationships can develop more quickly due to lowered inhibitions, absent physical cues and details, and the ease of exchanging information.

So I’m on the net telling some bloke that I’m 5 foot 11 inches tall, natural red hair (okay that one’s true) boobs that would put Pamela Anderson to shame but the rest of me looks like Elle and I’ve got the sexual appetite of Alexis Carrington and then I’m going to believe the description the bloke gives me. It pains me to say so but some women are dumb enough to do this.

Good news though, with some Melbourne councils backing same-sex unions. The Melbourne Council is establishing a relationship register to allow gay and lesbian couples to publicly declare their partnerships with town hall ceremonies. Australian Family Association’s Angela Conway said the gay unions plans were particularly annoying, much like her Christian good self. I expected an outburst from Bill Muehlenberg but he was on another page having a go at Muslim students.

La Trobe University has male and female washrooms for muslims only. This is so they can do their ritual washing before prayers as in, washing feet. Something they would do in the other washrooms, using the sinks which led to complaints by non-muslim students. It’s a service provided at most other universities in line with providing chaplains from the major Christian denominations and a Christian Chapel. Very sensible, so shut up Bill, you should be happy that any university student believes in God at all.

16 comments:

R H said...

Why wouldn't university students believe in God?

JahTeh said...

They don't drink enough Bombay Sapphire to become enlightened.

Brownie said...

I am sixth-generation of australian borns and I don't know a thing about AFL except some players drink till the very early hours and then get into worse trouble.
The person who suggested club membership as a form of integration is an idiot.

Brownie said...

PS: I would go over to Collective Apathy and vote for your Best Personal Blog except they are rejecting my password, even though I enter it as a cut n paste of the one they sent me.

eejits.

R H said...

And you do?

JahTeh said...

RH, still on the lower rung of enlightenment, drinking VB and cheap sherry.

JahTeh said...

Brownie, my one voter and they've sabotaged you, that's really apathetic.

R H said...

Never mind. Leave it.

Gerry said...

"One in five marriages and relationship breakdowns are being caused by..."

???

Surely that should read "One in five marriages and relationship breakdowns is being caused by..."

;-)

JahTeh said...

That's right come out of the cave to nitpick. Now I won't sleep all night worrying.

R H said...

Trucks roared through Yarraville long before the Yuppies moved in, buying up cheap. Now they want the trucks stopped. Christianity was in universities long before muslims turned up, they can like it, or not.

R H said...

They don't need special facilities at all, they can have a wash at taps outside then kneel facing Mecca and pray -like they do all over the world. I've seen them. Or like on a bus through the Afghan desert which stops several times to let them all out to pray without having a wash at all. I've seen that too. If I went to their countries for a better life I'd be glad of the better life and not complaining my religion wasn't specially catered for. But it's not them that complain at all; it's bourgeois anglo two-shower a day spivarses desperate for a cause who if they went without a shower for just one day (OH HORROR!) could save a forty year-old tree, whats more important?

JahTeh said...

I've been thinking about this a lot RH, and it's Islam is like the Jewish religion, it's a life style. We can pick up and put down our Christianity, then take it up again but other religions don't seem to have this option. I agree with Gerry too that atheism can almost qualify as a religion if it's taken to an extreme view. Personally I believe in fairies and brownies and the influence of the full moon because I live in a country where I can.

R H said...

Look it's nothing to me what you or anyone else follows, why would I care? I'm not interested. But these non-believing goats are always on the go, they can't shutup, it's a Crusade. The truth is they're terrified, scared to death, yelling louder all the time. The internet is full of it, and I ignore it, most of it, there's just so much. If I ever paid attention I'd be doing nothing else. They're having a jolly time, that's all, keeping up with fashion. Good. And figuring they can change their minds later on. Oh yes? Well I'll tell you something: they might be wrong.

R H said...

dirty rotten........THE RODENT!
Religion Feminism Racism Homophobia Agoraphobia, and Hey!- forget it!

Listen, instead of having a shower tomorrow, put the water around a tree instead.

And there now; you'll have done something.

JahTeh said...

I always put a bucket in the shower to get the water before it gets hot but if you're in the neighbourhood RH, you're quite welcome to pee on the lemon tree. I've just had my water bill and I used exactly the same amount of water as this time last year.