Sunday, March 18, 2007


My weight is 137 kilograms.

Yes it's in very small letters, as it drops I'll make the letters bigger.
Tomorrow the fat lady starts to drop weight. My goal for the week is 1kg.
Posting weight day will be next Sunday.
Ultimate goal for the moment is to drop the 10kgs I've put on last year.

So you lot get to play Bob or Gillian.
You get to insult, encourage, abuse or shout the fat lady into losing weight.
You may leave comments but only on Sundays, go for it, I have a broad arse and I can take it.
You can't see me cry anyway.

It's got to the stage where I can't look at the biggest loser and think 'I'm not as big as that'.
I can no longer throw insults at 'fat hanging over their trackies' bogans.
I can only see the scales by breathing in, a lot.

I have one item of clothing to judge if the diet is working. It's the petticoat I wore on Friday night, the one I thought had caught on my bra because it wouldn't pull down. It was caught on the Firestone retread that's appeared around my waist.

Now if you lot don't help me with this, I'm going to have the ultimate revenge.......I'll post photos.

It won't be pretty.


Lord Sedgwick said...

(First crab off the rank. What's with the topically onomatopoeic verification word "wobys"? "Like Kamahl says, "Why are some people and Blogger so unkind?")

OK, it's Sunday and Witchy Woman says I can comment. (A nudge is as good as a wink to a blind man on a galloping whore.)

Gratuitous advice #394,956 and counting. "It's all to do with mind over matter."

OK, so Coppertop you've got a bit more matter than moi (and you've probably got a bit more mind left than meself can call on in a pinch) but what matters is we'll all be rooting for you ... indeed as we speak I understand that Bob Geldof is organising for "Bonk Aid" to be beamed around the world. (You supply a big beam and we provide even bigger support.)

Can be done. Well, in my own area required resolution and change - giving up the fags (Bugger off Highriser, that gratuitous thought wasn't even mildy waspish or maupinish) - it was, and was (despite my default setting being "serial backslider!") successful.

Word for the day:- Svelte. Go for it ... but don't lose anything we can't hang our size 38DD hat on.

Seriously, g'd onya and good luck and even gooderer application.

Lord Sedgwick said...

"gooderer resolve" is what I really meant to type before Nurse Ratchett took the keyboard away from me

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

I'm no expert in the process of Getting Healthy (I'm riding on the "I'm young - the bypass surgery is still a good forty years off" principle), but I do know that it's hard work, so I hope you give yourself lots of prizes (trips to the movies or bunches of roses or whatever it is you enjoy). Bon chance!

GS said...

I'm sure it's still sunday somewhere in the world.

I think LS is on the right track with the Geldof idea - bonking can burn up a lot of calories and it has to be a lot more fun than the gym.

Failing that a pedometer is a handy investment. The starting goal is 10,000 steps a day - but after a few weeks you can up your steps by a thousand a week. When I used one it was a great motivator and made me much more active at lunchtime if it had been a low step day.

good luck

JahTeh said...

The weigh-in will be authentic. Sis has arranged for me to be weighed on the machine they weigh the wheelchairs with people in them. With the blood pressure you had Your Lungship, I'm surprised you could get a fag to your lips. (hi cameraface).

Alexis, don't waste these young years, decrepitude overtakes the body before the mind is ready for it hence the GG's obsession with 38DD's. Stay away from blokes, they age you more than anything else.

OSF, a sit-ometer would be more my style. I can't power walk, I fall over and walking 3kms several times a week for the past year hasn't done much good but then I was walking past the bakery a lot.

Meredith Jones said...

Hi I know it's not Sunday anymore but I just want to wish you all the very very very best with this. I'll come to visit you when I'm next in melbourne & take you walking if you like!

CelloBella said...

I found writing down what I ate everyday was really effective.

I just hated writing down all the snacks so I stopped eating them.

Of course then I stopped writing everything down but you've inspired me to start again!

Good luck.

R.H. said...

Hey, that's a good idea.

And if you want a really accurate weigh-in go to the Lort Smith animal hospital, they'll weigh you for free, but you have to have a pet with you. Take Chris Boyd.

Sir Robbert!

Andrew said...

Token homosexual is now the butt of attempts at humour. Btw Jah Teh, 10kg off a 60 kg is dramatic. 10kg of 150 kg, not so dramatic. How can we know how well you are doing if we don't know the starting point.

Kelly & Sam Pilgrim-Byrne said...

I know I'm a day late, but... oh, well.

Good for you! We are both overweight as well - ideally, I need to lose 20kg and Sam the same. Most of this has creeped upon us over the last 3.5 years of hell and back. Before that, we were quite slender.

It's like we just gave up on everything, including ourselves.

I'm now riding the bike for 11kms every second night and Sam is doing about 20 mins - we don't want to put her at risk at all, so we're building up slowly. The OB would prefer she doesn't put on much weight due to her starting weight and she's already put on 3kgs, so we have to put the breaks on. She hasn't gained any in the last 3 weeks, which is great.

When our baby is born, we're going to step it up and really concentrate on losing weight. Can't do that now when she's pregnant - low fat is a no no for her.

Anyway, good for you. I know how hard it is. Just keep moving.

Meredith Jones said...

Andrew the starting weight is there in the fine print. Jahteh I think you're really brave putting it out there, and it shows how committed you are to losing it.

JahTeh said...

I'm not too bad on the snacks CB, it's the portion size of the meals I'm cutting down and no chocolates, no cakes, no cappuccino. As for writing down, I'm reliving every crumb I put in my mouth, the memory lingers.

Meredith, I love walking, I just hate falling down, tin knees hurt when they hit the ground. I've decided making you lot my weight watchers will shame me into it. I expect vicious insults if I backslide.

Rh, I'd go there and come home with every animal I saw. I stay away from shelters, I can't stand the little begging eyes.

Here, watch the 150 Andrew, I was 147, lost 20, gained 10 now aiming to lose that 10 and go on from there. Ultimate is 100kgs which will do me.

You are never the token, you are the only butt.

Don't worry girls, in six months when you're running after that baby, it will melt off. The only reason all those Hollywood stars gain so much weight when pregnant is that they use that as an excuse to actually eat food for once.

R.H. said...

Jahteh the Lort Smith is just an animal hospital, and a lot cheaper than going to a private vet. I'm outraged that it gets no Government funding, and has to rely on public donations.
I got one of my dogs from the RSPCA shelter in Burwood, and after walking along the cages there I almost broke down. It was the saddest experience ever in my life, and there's been a few.

Middle Child said...

At least you had the courage to weigh... it sneaks up so slowly... I saw a photo of myself taken at my birthday I wasnn't that impressed with tore it up gave that dress to a slimmer sister...might see if I can do the 1KG a week too - its realistic

BwcaBrownie said...

"no chocolates, no cakes, no cappuccino."

you cannot DEPRIVE yourself completely, so just reduce the treats.

I lost a quarter of my bodyweight once, without altering diet or exercise - I drank more than a litre of plain water everyday and I swear that was the trick.

Easy to do if you have a Bold & The Beautiful habit - just prop in front of the TV with a BIG bottle of mineral/spring water and sip on it till the show is over.
You won't notice you're even doing it.
and it doesn't hurt knees either.
I'll start doing it again myself and let you know next Sunday if it has had any effect here again.

much love and encouragement from
Go Away (I Am In A Very Nice Part Of Melton) housesitting.

JahTeh said...

Ban animal sales from pet shops Rh, and buy from the shelters - de-sexed and micro-chipped. I'm not having another animal because I can't afford vet fees or the food. I'll just look at kittys on the web.

MC, I got out my velvet dressing gown which I've never worn and my black chiffon beaded 'Merry Widow' dress which I haven't worn since l989 so I have something to aim for.

Bwca, I remember B&B when neither Brooke or Ridge had botox and water wouldn't get me through an episode now, it'd have to be gin.

R.H. said...

Dogs should not be sold in shops or anywhere else. I saw a pup for sale among rusted tools and other junk at Laverton trash market and had to actually demand that the bastard get it some water.

People make me sick.

My three dogs will always be fed -come whatever.

Anonymous said...

I am very late to contribute to this, but will be keeping an eagle eye on you JahTeh.

You can do it. And it's worth doing.