Friday, March 28, 2008


It's not my fault. Mother Medusa has had us all at sixes and sevens for the entire week. It's been stressful but it's all fixed now. According to her, she has kept the family together by unselfishly forgiving us for how we acted. She loves Meals on Wheels, not particularly the food but the sympathy she's getting from the volunteers is welcome because her crappy family don't do sympathy.

I have a witness to this week's insanity.

A wandering country boggart dropped in carrying a bottle of Bombay Sapphire and while I cook, the brownie washes dishes. We're doing this very well considering the length of the cocktail hour/s. There isn't time to blog, what with slicing up lemons and freezing water for ice and drinking.

Not only do brownies help in kitchens, they help in computers. My bookmarks are aphalbetically sorted and put in folders and do you think that didn't confuse two eyeballs full of gin. I also blame the Bombay for wondering why I haven't had an email from her in a week.

Now I've been tagged to give you 5 weird things about me or the blog. Sorry Helen but I lost the rules.

1. I'm not weird.

2. Nothing I do is weird.

3. My family is weird.

4. Eating chocolate cream covered sponge with strawberries and drinking gin is delicious not weird.

5. Thinking that Lord Hughes of Fleetwood and Lord Sedgwick of Strathmore are two of the tallest, darkest, handsomest 'Mr Darcy' types I've ever known is truly weird. I blame the gin for that hallucination. They're funny though, weird but funny but that could be the gin.


Brian Hughes said...

"Thinking that Lord Hughes of Fleetwood and Lord Sedgwick of Strathmore are two of the tallest, darkest, handsomest 'Mr Darcy' types I've ever known is truly weird."

Too right. Mr Darcy was total ponce.

JahTeh said...

Bloody quick off the mark Fleetwood. I hardly had time to grab the gin bottle off the Bwca.
You and Sedgwick would look lovely in ruffles and ooer, tight pants.

Jeebus Brownie, keep the gin bottle away from me, I'm getting hot for two old men.

Brian Hughes said...

My pants are always tight, Witchy. It's got something to do with the manufacturers continually skimping on the waistbands nowadays.

Middle Child said...

Yairss Gin will do that... The last Gin I drank was in 1973 when I mixed it with Mynor orange at a 21st and was trembly ill for days..even now I still feel sick when I think about how sick I made myself... used to like Scotch but with menopause found I couldn't handlel spirits, so I am a cask lady (they call them a Gin's purse - ooowahh smack me down)

JahTeh said...

That's tight in the wrong places Fleetwood.

Therese, would if I could, wave a magic wand and have you here with us and bring your own cask.

Lord Sedgwick said...

"You and Sedgwick would look lovely in ruffles ... "

We actually look much better in truffles ... or anything else down and dirty that is sniffed out by pigs.

"and ooer, tight pants."

THAT'S IT! I'm dragging (yes, the pun - pathetic as it may be - is fully intended) out the memorial Demis Roussos kaftan from the vice-regal wardrobe. Can't have Coppertop having a near fatal attack of the Austenic vapours.

Andrew said...

Must have packed quite a punch. I feel ill after all these mental images.

Jayne said...

I'm having trouble mentally arranging the black velvet (soooo slimming!) and lace ruffles around the tight (eek) knee britches of those two,Jahteh!
Think you better pass the gin over to help lubricate the grey cells :P

Ozfemme said...

I'm allergic to gin. It causes me to astral travel (at the same time as negotiating the porcelain bus around some pretty dangerous curves)... almost as mindboggling as your delusions re Sedgers and Fleetwood.

Hosever, I do think the idea of having a boggart in for a few days is a wonderful one.

So is Ms Medusa still dining on MOW?

Lord Sedgwick said...

MOW, MOW, MOW the meals.
Gently down the drive
Merrily, merrily , merrily ...
Oh, bugger, she's alive!

River said...

My dad signed up for meals on wheels in his last years. He was bitter when he found out that all they did was deliver a meal. He expected breakfast, lunch and dinner, all with a lovely lady to serve him and clean up after. Poor bugger was disappointed by women his whole life. They never seemed to do as he expected. Mind you, he expected waaaay too much.

JahTeh said...

You're quite right Andrew, the sight of those two in tighty tights would be fully sick.

Jayne, please not just gin, it's the Bombay Sapphire with tonic and fresh lemon from the tree in the classy glasses no less.

Would you believe it Bella, she's loving the damn stuff and has now ordered it for weekends.
You know I have nasty memories regarding a drink called Marsala and coke. That will give you a season ticket on the porcelain bus.

River, we had one glitch. She always takes her pills with the evening meal but since she's decided to have that for lunch it was automatic for her to take them at midday. I think we have that one sorted now.

Sedgwick, we could have used you today, as a sacrifice to the Techno Gods and we'd get a bonus if you were wearing a caftan. The Gods like a laugh.