Friday, April 11, 2008

EIGHTH DAY OF 'THE COLD'

The cold is lingering, germs appear to like living in my chest.
Voice sounds like Lee Marvin on crack.
The hacking cough is bent on shooting bits of lung into orbit.
Eyes look like two proverbials in the snow and my brain is punch drunk.

It's the only explanation for finding a rocky road egg in the cupboard where I hid it before Easter and forgetting it, my mother getting something right for a change and being out-commonsensed by a Bwca.

Bwca: Last year when the machine stopped mid-dry, did you press the re-set button?

Me: What?

Bwca: The little red button on the machine that re-sets it if it overheats and cuts out.

Me: What?

Bwca: Re-set button, red.

Me: Flicks wand, (Ollivander's - Ash, Unicorn hair, 8 inches) zaps self in foot.

14 comments:

Lord Sedgwick said...

Mmmm. Taint only us geriatrics what fail 'Red reset button'.

Just ask our #1 and only daughter.

JahTeh said...

Thank the Goddess I'm not alone. I can't believe I went a whole year and it was so simple. Bloody bwcas and their smarts.

Caroline said...

Evwybody needs a bwoody house bwca sometwimes.

River said...

Mine doesn't appear to have a reset button, unless it's on the back somewhere and what good is that?? The damn thing weighs more than I do (I think) and I'm certainly not about to lift and/or turn it. It's on top of the washer anyway and I wouldn't want to drop it........

JahTeh said...

I couldn't find it either River but it's inside the door and I was probably too busy swearing and slamming it to notice.

They're sneaky Caroline, turn your back and something gets cleaned. Two glasses of gin and she swears I don't snore, that's a housebwca for you.

Brian Hughes said...

"Voice sounds like Lee Marvin on crack.
The hacking cough is bent on shooting bits of lung into orbit.
Eyes look like two proverbials in the snow and my brain is punch drunk."

Pretty much the bog standard waking up every morning state for me.

Feral Beast said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jayne said...

If I never refer to that hidden re-set button again, would you warble a few lines from "Wand'rin' Star" please? :P

Bwca said...

oh Jayne saw the 'Paint Your Wagon' movie too ... 'I talk to the trees' sung by Clint Eastwood certainly is cinematic catharsis

Lord Sedgwick said...

I spent too many days of my (long, long past) pimply youth in the back stalls of the local cinema looking for the reset button.

(Never got past those bloody impossible training bra hooks and eyes.)

JahTeh said...

Fleetwood, tell me you don't smoke, if I woke up every morning coughing like this I'd give it up. How do people smoke through a cough like this?

Jayne I love that song and at the moment I can sing it better than Lee.

Lord Sedgwick was a dirty young man and has re-defined himself into a filthy old man with an advance course of instruction from Lord Fleetwood.

Brian Hughes said...

"Fleetwood, tell me you don't smoke, if I woke up every morning coughing like this I'd give it up."

It's called addiction. Try giving up blinking for the next few months and you'll see what us smokers are up against. Besides, a good hack every morning clears the lungs...not to mention the nose, the brain, the bowels and the cat out off my rocking chair.

JahTeh said...

Right Fleetwood, I wouldn't even have a roistering cybersex affair with a smoker so our deal's off. I can go a few months without blinking, it's called superglue. Think of how pious you're making Sedgwick look.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Pope Pious Sedgwick XVII - c'est moi.

Pop under the blanket Coppertop, and I'll show you a good thyme - or any other herb of your choice. (Maybe rosemary - on the basis that not not only will I respect you in the morning, but actually remember you ... whoever you were.)