Monday, June 30, 2008

THERE COMES A TIME WHEN ONE KNOWS ONESELF

I confess to being housework shy. Just a tick above slob but a long way down from proud housewife. Scrap that I was never a housewife ever. Now that I'm almost old, my eyes don't see the dust until a whirlwind moves it.
This cleaning up rubbish is for young people who can handle it. I have so many bruises and pains including sticking a pin through the ball of my hand and belting my head on the corner of the hand basin in the bathroom. A million times I must have told the kid to watch the corner but I had to bash it. There's something creepy about a house that's clean and tidy when it usually isn't, it's like I've gone away when I'm still here.
The only reason I've vacuumed the floor is so they can lounge around on it without crushing the wildlife in the carpet ecosystem. It's a shame the filligree hamster hasn't been spotted again, they'd have enjoyed that.
I've had the guilts all day because I didn't go to mother's. This is how you get sucked into the vortex of guiltguiltguilt. I should be able to stay home when it's blowing a gale. I should be able to be excited about the girls but because somebody is snivelling, I can't quite get there. I can't help it that she doesn't know it's Monday because I didn't go. She didn't know if I'd been there anyway. She had to ask the BrickOutHouse.
She's having a bit of trouble with the MealsOnWheels. They sent her salads twice last week and "it's just not good enough" but I know exactly what she's done. She's read Roast, hasn't gone any further and ticked the box so received a roast vegetable salad and a roast chicken salad. And it's my fault because I didn't check what she ticked. Give me strength.
This week her regular cleaner can't make it so she's getting a substitute and she'd like me to give the house a once over before a stranger comes. FFS the bloody woman's coming to clean the house not photograph it for Gracious Living.
I swear there's not a jury of daughters that would convict me.

18 comments:

ROSA E OLIVIER said...

Piú giú, in fondo alla Tuscolana...!?...passavo per un saluto!

Brian Hughes said...

"This cleaning up rubbish is for young people..."

Er...

I knew Oz was a long way off, but I didn't realise it was a differtent planet.

Stegetronium said...

I sincerely hope you do NOT give the house a 'once over'. Wander through the house with a duster in your hand if you must give her the impression that you're doing it. Use the time saved to write us an extra blog entry.

R.H. said...

Rosa, puttana, compra inglese? no? smettere.

-Roberto.

Jayne said...

Justifiable homicide, Your Honour, not guilty!

Is Robert flirting with your readers, again?

R.H. said...

if that's flirting I don't like it's chances.

Ampersand Duck said...

I was forced to vacuum a couple of days ago when I thought we had a mouse plague but they turned out to be dust bunnies.

My mother used to clean up the house for the cleaner (who was paid for by the Australian Army while we were overseas). I thought she was crazy. I like Mikhela's idea: just give the impression you're doing something and then save it all for someone who likes doing it, or at least is getting money for it.

Jayne said...

Snowflake in hell,eh Robert?
Was that you over the back fence peering from your ladder again?

Kath Lockett said...

Don't be too hard on yourself - as Joan Rivers once said, "If God had wanted me to clean, he'd have stuck diamonds on the floor."

R.H. said...

Miss Brownie's bio (Historyonics) is sure causing a storm.

Wooh! Steamy!

Jayne, read my six word confession there.
Explains everything.

JahTeh said...

I had a method of making the kid clean. He got a week's notice before I moved the bulldozer in. He only ignored me once and I threw everything out of the bedroom window.

Mikhela, I refuse to do this. If I can't see the dust then she can't.
The latest is the big mirror which gets the gasfire smog on it. Vinegar and paper cleans it but she tried everything on the weekend and the top wouldn't come clean. She's so short she can't reach the top, when I said so, she calmly said, 'That must be it' and hung up.

Go for it Rh.

Jayne, encourage him, he should widen his world.

Duck, vac'ing hurts. The only thing I like doing is pulling all the crap out of the bag because I'm too cheap to throw it out until it has holes in it. It's amazing what can be hoovered up.

Kath, that's classic. I've been pleased to find a smartie lodged in the couch cushions.

Rh, a blog rumble, I'll get my knuckle dusters.

River said...

Knuckle Dusters? For dusting knuckles? Heh.

Anonymous said...

You deserve a medal for your patience.

Anonymous said...

Not just for looking after your mum, either.

Dear Jahteh, I feel your pain re. guiltguiltguilt. No I don't. I don't have the elderly parent thing quite yet (not that they're not elderly, but.) Hope the girls are a blast for you.

Middle Child said...

"filligree hamster " ah Jahteh you make me smile...

If I had a mother like yours - can't imagine it - whatever happens if you manage to outlive her - don't feel any guilt - you have done more than most ever would... enjoy the visitors

JahTeh said...

River, his comments were deleted before I could see them, a common occurance with RH.

OoC, Patience is something I don't have, biting my tongue before I say something really rotten is an art I've perfected.

Helen, I know we promised to let her stay in her own home but we didn't know how hard it would be even with every one coming to the house. Next time around I want to be born hard-hearted.

Therese, I'm going to be really pissed if I don't out-live her.

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