Wednesday, October 29, 2008

THE CRYSTAL CAVE IN ITS GLORY


46 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

"They are looking for signs of life that survive in extreme environments."

They should check out Fleetwood then. Not that they'll find any, but it's always worth a look.

RVB said...

Since I'm seeking retaliation, Jahteh, could you perhaps point me in the direction of that anonymous person/R.H. He needs a good kick in the bollocks from me.

Brian Hughes said...

Reuben,

Robbert is a sly, weasily little runt (with bad breath and verbal flatulence) who, despite his protestations about never posting anonymously, constantly hides behind psuedonyms. He's extremely difficult to pin down...true to the nature of most maggots really.

JahTeh said...

Reuben, you will have to fight Hughes for that honour.
Rh and I remain anonymous to each other much in the way of matter and anti-matter.

Fleety, don't hold back, it's bad for your digestion.

R.H. said...

Good heavens. What a pair of darlings.
Well if that's your actual photo you little windbag I'm in Thornbury every week and will be looking out for you to put you under a train. Your imbecile mate with the cap is a liar I do not post anonymously and if it came to the crunch you'd both get the arse from any blog at all in favour of me.

-Robert.
Miss Jahteh and I are in love and about to be married.

R.H. said...

Chew on that you pair of turd suckers, I'm sending you both a photo of my COCK! To rub your ARSES against! ha ha ha!

-ROBBBBERT!!!!!!!

R.H. said...

Dreary? Oh my goodness. What goats.

GET SOME TALENT!

JahTeh said...

Robbert dear, the very reason I keep you around is to remind me why I will never get married again.

I believe sending a photo of a lethal weapon through the mail is prohibited under the Terrorism Act.

Miles McClagan said...

That just makes me think of humourous but creepy early 90s UK game show The Crystal Maze with Richard O'Brien....what a game that was...fun for all the family...if you sucked, you got locked in the game you failed at for, like, a year...

R.H. said...

You'll change your mind when I begin my suit.

Petrol is 99 cents a litre tomorrow at the BP service station, Melbourne Road Newport. It's an expensive trip for a skinflint pommy cunt but not for little boy ROOBUM who can travel half fare.

JahTeh said...

Miles, that sounds a horror of a show but then it was from pomland.
Have you seen the snow there at the moment and summer has just ended? There'll be icycles like this hanging from Big Ben.

Robbert, if you can travel half fare, why are you buying petrol? For Heaven's sake dear man, buy cheap port and drink that instead.

R.H. said...

ha ha ha, as if you don't know who roobum is.

Golly, I love it when women act coy.
I'll be starting my suit a bit earlier.

Ann O'Dyne said...

one comment out of twelve is On Topic.

Is this a record?

R.H. said...

Not for your blog.

I did about forty on one thread.

Jayne said...

Can I have 6 of those crystal caves in varying shades of blue, magenta, puce, cerise, aqua and saffron?
It's just with Christmas coming up....

Brian Hughes said...

"I'm sending you both a photo of my COCK!"

Excellent, then we can finally see what you look like.

r.h. said...

i want to apologize to everyone for being a cunt. ive fought my own persnal demons for years and now i've realized i hav no friends, i'm gay, i suffer from tourettes, i hav to take all my instructions from a 2000 year old book full of shit, my poetry is fucking dredful, my gramer is pathetic and i'm a worthless spineles pointless little pedophile that everyone hates. my hole life consists of going round other peoples websites and trying to upset them. thats because i don't hav a real life at all. i am a thurough bred cunt and my cock is tiny.

pleese forgiv me baby jesus.

robbert

R.H. said...

Who did that? How'd you do it?

R.H. said...

Well I was only going to say that after years of loitering around urinals I'm sure you'd know a bloke by his cock.
That's why I'm sending you a photo of mine.
It's possibly 'Hyde Park 1988'.

Let's know.

Brian Hughes said...

"I'm sure you'd know a bloke by his cock."

It wouldn't be difficult in your case, seeing as it's sticking out of your shirt neck.

R.H. said...

The only part you got right is the tiny cock.
You'll see when the photo arrives.

-ROBBERT!!!!!!!!
(Boy these homos play dirty)

Brian Hughes said...

"Boy these homos play dirty..."

At least they do in your fantasies, Robbert. Less chat, more scat, eh?

R.H. said...

BRIAN HUGHES
'MISTRESS OLGA'
WESTMINSTER 1993.

Lord X: “I've been a naughty boy.”

Mistress Olga: “Yes you have.”

Lord X: “But I've been very, very naughty.”

Mistress Olga: “What- Thirty quids worth?”

Lord X: “More I'm afraid.”

Mistress Olga: “Forty?"

Lord X: "What does that provide?"

Mistress Olga: "Five lashes plus head in the bowl and press the button.”

Lord X: “Sounds reasonable.”

Mistress Olga: "Money first."

Lord X: “Oh. Sorry. Here we are then.”

Mistress Olga: “Right! You filthy disgusting creature! Take that!”

Lord X: “Ow!"

Mistress Olga: “Now get in that cubicle!”

Lord X: “Ow! Ow!”

Mistress Olga: “Filthy! Disgusting! You make me sick!”

Lord X: “Ow! Ow!”

Mistress Olga: “Now then you stinking obnoxious weasal I'm going to grab you like this by the scruff of the neck and-"

Lord X: "Pardon me, terribly sorry, but how much does each stroke cost?”

Mistress Olga: “Two quid.”

Lord X: “Two pounds? Thank you. Well I'd like five more please.”

Mistress Olga: “Money first.”

Lord X: “Yes, yes of course. Sorry. Here you are then.”

Mistress Olga: "Swine! Wretch! Monster! Liar! Scoundrel!”

Lord X: “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!”

ha ha ha. Well pommies and public lavatories...they just seem to go together.
A bit like bangers and mash I guess.

Brian Hughes said...

Had a good wank there did you Robbert? Or couldn't you find the tweezers?

R.H. said...

What a childish old joke. You really are a little bumchum.
Well I notice the genuine rh initials still link to the proper website, but if nothing can be done to stop you commenting as rh anyway it means the end of my blog reply career in this little community which is presumably what you want. I'm not a techno and there's nothing I can do about it. Mind you, I don't think you'll be loudly applauded for this, but desperate situations require dirty means I guess. Tallyho.

R.H. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian Hughes said...

See you knobsack...again...and again...and again...empty promises, empty brain...and, after your hilarious adolescent sketch, no doubt you've got an empty ballbag too.

R.H. said...

Good heavens. I see you've deleted yourself. There's a first.
What happened?

R.H. said...

My dear chap if you disrupt comments by posing as me I can't possibly continue and that's that. There's just no choice.

R.H. said...

As for my little sketch, may I say that after much experimenting I've settled on one criteria, viz: if it amuses me it will amuse the world.

(excepting yourself of course)

R.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Totally off topic ('twould seem like a good thing to do having read the previous comments) but I have to redeem my punting prowess witch you have knocked and mocked into a cocked hat.

Not only did I back the winner of the Caulfield Gup, but also got the Exacta.

Lady Livia of course backed the nearly eponymous Barbaricus each way.

We dined out well that night. Larks' tongues steeped in Bombay Sapphic and almost had the wherewithal to turn the world economy back into the black.

But then there was the Cox Plate.

(My painful pronouncement from a month ago having been "Maldivian will never win another race.")

"One wallow does not a Spring carnival make."

JahTeh said...

Sedgwick, you've been missing in action so long I thought you might have backed the first four which paid just a shade under a million.
I was right with the Lady Livia unfortunately when I made the choice they were already in the parade ring.
Ignore the boys, they're just digging a deeper sandpit trying to bury each other.

Jayne, set this as wallpaper to get a really good idea as to the size of those crystals. The show was on the National Geographic Channel in America but I don't know if we get that here on Foxtel or whatever.

R.H. said...

This is my final comment. Any further comment, statement, or whatever on the internet using my initials 'rh' and claiming to be me in that or any other way is fraudulent.
To check authenticity refer to the website, which is intact (showing profile particulars) and which so far has not been tampered with. It will be up for a while longer.

Thanks.

Brian Hughes said...

"This is my final comment."

Again? For God's sake, knobsack. You've had more dramatic exits than a group of catholic priests in a brothel.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Lady L. and me picked 5 horses to back in various bet types and amidst those 5 were the first 4 over the line.

Did we even take the trifecta? Nope far too clever for that, let alone the first 4!

That's why we're poor ... but not lying in the gutter staring at the stars that might have been.

RVB said...

Robert, knowing that your intelligence roughly equates to an intoxicated snail, I actually don't think you're capable of locating Thornbury, let alone the trainline.

Yes, that's my photo (or was my photo when I was younger), but don't count on meeting me. Given that you're incapable of identifying yourself, let alone dignifying yourself in any conceivable way, I find your threat amusing at worst.

But seeing as your a perverse little bastard who's about as popular as Anthrax, I don't know why I bother. I don't even know why your mum bothered giving birth to you.

JahTeh said...

Ignore the rabble rousers at the barricades, Sedgers and tell us your tips for the cup. I'll tell you mine and we'll be in the gutter together.

Andrew said...

What an amusing read, all started by crystals. I have heard they have their own power.

I wouldn't mind a cup tip from either of you, so I know who not to back.

JahTeh said...

Andrew, a wiser thing was never said. I'm going for barrier 22 or horse 22 or barrier 11 or horse 11 as they came to me in a dream.

Don't worry about the lads, they'll stop when they remember that Santa's making a list and checking it twice.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Shirl, I'm not giving out any tips for the Melbun Gup this year, but if you want some really useless tips, go visit a mohel.

Andrew said...

I am always slipping on those things in front of the big building across the road. I used to think they were rubber bands.

Nigel Molesworth said...

it's easy Robbert! as any fule kno

i want to apologize to everyone for being a cunt.
ive fought my own persnal demons for years and now i've realized i hav no friends, i'm gay, i suffer from tourettes, i hav to take all my instructions from a 2000 year old book full of shit, my poetry is fucking dredful, my gramer is pathetic and i'm a worthless spineles pointless little pedophile that everyone hates.
my hole life consists of going round other peoples websites and trying to upset them.
thats because i don't hav a real life at all.
i am a thurough bred cunt and my cock is tiny.

pleese forgiv me baby jesus.

robbert

J.W.Howard said...

I too, want to apologize to everyone for being a cunt.
I've fought my own personal demons for years and now I've realized I hav no friends except Jannette, i'm gay, i suffer from tourettes, i hav to take all my instructions from a 2000 year old book full of shit, my poetry is fucking dredful, my gramer is pathetic and i'm a worthless spineles pointless little pedophile that everyone hates. my hole life consists of going round other peoples websites and trying to upset them. thats because i don't hav a real life at all. i am a thurough bred cunt and my cock is tiny.

pleese forgiv me baby jesus

George Dubbya Bush said...

i also wanna apolloogogizing for my bean a canoe.
i've fart democracy for centries and now I've realized I hav no friends except gay tony, i'm christun, i suffer from bullsheet of tha mouth, i hav to take all my instructions from my advisoritiors, my comoonicashun skils are freakin dredful, my gramer is an old woman in texus and i'm a mass murdrin retard what every red bloodied amercan with an iq over 15 hates. my hole life consists of going round other peoples cuntries and upseting them. thats because i don't hav a brain. i am a thurough bred canuck and my cock is my hed.

pleese forgiv me baby jesus but im gonna hav ta kill ye now.

Bwca said...

that's the first ever Believable Statement from the supposed leader of the free world.

RVB said...

And the sanest thing 'Robbert' has ever said.