Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I feel it creeping closer and that's the doom apart from the usual November "Oh God it's nearly Christmas where can I hide" doom.

I've just spent two days with mother. Thank you doctor's office who didn't call yesterday to tell me he'd be coming today. That's two days of getting a urine sample into a small bottle, too much information? Try doing it instead of reading about it.

Anyhow, Rheumatoid arthritis is making her right ankle disintegrate. If that goes, she's bedridden and I go there all the time (kill me now) or it's a nursing home. She will fight tooth and nail against leaving home.

She's not capable of making a rational decision about this and I tell you, neither am I.


Andrew said...

There comes a time Jahteh. You can only do so much. How will you go lifting her out of bed or whatever?

Kath Lockett said...

I'm with Andrew. Just do it, put her in. No need to compromise your own health, free time and sanity by continuing to care for her at home and put both of you in danger.

Jayne said...

Who has the medical power of attorney?
It's time to make the decision for what's best for EVERYONE, not just what your mum wants.
Once your mum is unable to weight bear you'll be looking at transferring her from bed to chair, probably a shower chair on wheels to get her into the shower.
Is her shower recess accessible? If not, you're looking at god knows how much for renovations.
Does she have a wheel chair? If not you're going to have to find a way to transfer her to armchair/kitchen chair/dining room, back to bed, etc, not to mention taking her out because you'll go nuts stuck in the house with her 24/7.
Does she have a lifting machine or lifting tracks above her bed? If not you're going to have to lift/transfer her manually.
And you'll have to reposition her several times during the night if she is unable. And probably wreck your back/knees/shoulders/neck.
You'll need a riser toilet seat, just to help you transfer her onto the loo, plus you'll have to learn how to juggle holding her up whilst whipping her knickers down, and reverse when she's done.
You'll find she's unable to sit herself upright in bed properly, so you'll have to do it for her...see above for possible injuries.
Then there's the cooking, washing, laundry, hoovering, shopping, probable double incontinence (that's ones AND twos) that you'll have to juggle whilst waving good bye to any time you ever had for yourself.
Plus you'll be fighting not to Tontine her inside a week.
Save yourself the stress, angina, bad back, aching joints, empty bank account and dentures you'll need to replace the ones you've ground down to stumps and start looking around at long term aged care options.

Jayne said...

Oh I forgot the commode you'll need beside her bed for when you have to wake up and transfer her out onto at least 4 times every night (more if she's on diuretics).

Bwca said...

oh Jayne! tontine as a verb.

bwah ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Not laughing at poor Coppy though,

Look Out For No.1 yourself.

and pop over to Hot Andrew's and tell a Frank Thring story - you must have encountered him when you were at 3UZ in his Heyday.

JahTeh said...

Cameraface, the only thing I will lift is a Bombay Sapphire with not too much ice so I don't strain myself.

I have medical power of attorney but my sister said she is going to do the deed when and if the time comes.

We're sort of lucky in a way because she has a colostomy, incontinence pants and doesn't worry about showering, just has a wash. She does have her own wheelchair which she bought behind our backs, $1,500 and paid up before we could send it back. She thought it would be a really good idea and so did the shyster who sold it to her.

Jayne, she has a commode and uses it as a footstool for getting into bed.

Hi Bwca, no I didn't see him at all in my time, too busy with all the races. Cup Carnival was a monster booze-up though.

River said...

I'm with Andrew and Kath. Just set up her nursing home bedroom to look exactly like her own and move her in while she's asleep. She may never realise........

JahTeh said...

River, that is so sneaky you should be a member of Parliament.