I never watch the show, it's cruel not funny. They show the event but they never show the yelling in pain after bit.
So I was lucky no-one had a camera phone in the book section of Big W this afternoon. Fat lady down agin.
Somebody had dropped a floor coloured drink on the floor and with pushing the trolley in front of me, it wasn't visible.
Picture me with the right foot firmly on the ground but the left foot went sliding backwards and I went down on the knee in an inelegant split that would have looked great with Jane Torvill doing it but not so great with me. Oh, the right leg was still upstanding.
There was a lot of yelling but no four letter words and my biggest worry was that people might think I'd peed myself since I was sitting in water. I got up the usual way, with an audience all ready to help but I always think of the hernias I could cause. Checked the knee cap, still there, spine okay, no shock (yet) but bruising starting already.
The young man took my name and address and very apologetically asked for my age. Don't worry lad, I'm grateful to get to this age and proud of it. After five minutes of sitting with an icepack, I grabbed my book and gingerly walked off.
I didn't shop but did pay all the bills in a sort of winding way down to the taxi. Straight to bed with another icepack and pain killers and now the other bits are starting to hurt. I used to be able to do the splits in my young days but it stretches a lot of things now that don't want to be stretched. The bruise will be a beaut tomorrow.