Friday, March 13, 2009


  • Bureaucracy and mother, what a combination. I'll do this in dot form.
  • No joy with Tuesday's experiment and internet connection.
  • No phone at all 24 hours Wednesday. The snap, crackle and pop on the phone line was insane.
  • A mildly clear line on Thursday morning and a super intelligent FEMALE at the call centre meant I was given useful information.
  • A change of phone at the Telstra shop and the purchase of 17 metres of brand new line at Tandy. $29, if you don't mind and I could have bought a handheld phone for not much more. The fun part was me trying to convert 47 feet of line into metres.
  • Full of hope, I connected everything up to have two hours of sloooooooow internet where I collected emails and read three blogs before I gave up when I was disconnected again.
  • Before this, there was a phone call from Aunt Patty. Ma had rung her to ring me to ring her because my phone wasn't working. My phone was working, clear as a bell (before internet) but the speed dial daughter button on her phone has died after 3 years of sterling duty.
  • This morning another call from Aunt Patty to ring Ma which I had been doing for 20 minutes.
  • I walk over in muggy heat to re-do another speed dial button and put a sterile dressing on her leg which she'd forgotten to tell me about on Tuesday. This ulcer treatment is really important but I'm not a mind reader and it's not my fault I don't have x-ray eyes to see through clothing.
  • I leave after screaming match about meals on wheels. I don't care if she doesn't eat them, they're in the fridge and they're paid for and that's that. I am never going back to cooking for her again. Buying her an apple cake at the bakery on the way over is the limit.
  • I was heading for the pub when my shoe broke so I came home instead, Friday 13th, I can read omens.
  • I am now back where I started. Computer is hooked up to the phone jack in the lounge and the bedroom phone is new and hooked up with the expensive new line. It's also crackling but mildly. The phone in the lounge is a tiny thing I used to use in my workroom but it does have 15 metres of line which I drag round the house and outside.
  • Mother wants new phone as well. She can't have it because the new ones don't have speed dial buttons, they have memory and I haven't worked that out yet so lord knows what she'd do to it. They don't have speed buttons because everything now is geared up for text messages and that sort of crap from mobile phones.
  • I sincerely hope that when Yankee Sol takes his ill-gotten gains from Telstra and heads home to sod's own country, he trips on the first step and breaks something vital, like his wallet.


Brian Hughes said...

Have you considered two baked bean tins and a piece of string?

Jayne said...

How about throttling Sol with Brian's string?

Andrew said...

You have tried different phone plugs within the house if you have them? Out brother friends never really sorted out their dial up phone problems, in spite of spending big bucks. It did not work so badly when they plugged it into their wall phone in the kitchen. Very inconvenient though. They are fine now on adsl. Must be more frustrating than your mother...well almost.

Bwca said...

I am SURE the phone company has to fix you pronto because you care for a sick woman.
there's a law or something.

you are right about the Mexican though.

JahTeh said...

Fleetwood, considered but couldn't think of a way to make my mother eat them.

Jayne, intelligent female told me the call out fee is only IF they find something wrong in the house and it's not paid on the spot, they send a bill. Stress went down a notch at that.

Andrew, it looks as though it was a combination of a dodgy Telstra phone and the old answer phone, both of which have had mountains of usage. My fingers are crossed.
Read my words about mother, you'll be needing advice very soon.

Bwca, there is a bright side, she's been driving Aunt Patty crazy, crazy enough to be yelling down the phone line. Does that sound familiar?

R.H. said...
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River said...

I really wish I could help here, but I know nothing. Sorry

R.H. said...
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Middle Child said...

I know someone who worked under him at telstra and I say "Good bloody riddance to bad bloody rubbish" he is a piece of shit and why on earth the Aussie Gov bought his sad old backsiode out here to run telstra is anybody's guess...there would be a reason...for sure...hope he sinks in his own shit along with the many millions he took from us as a send off.

Lord Sedgwick said...

I followed all your dot point posting and then read this in the News.

"An elderly woman was treated for cuts and shock after a stolen car crashed into her house at Cheltenham, in Melbourne's south-east, last night."

Thought to meself, there you go, things happen in threes ... errr with herself ... dozens, has to be Coppertop. Then I re-read it and thought, given the article mentions an elderly woman, it can't be her. Geriatric - yes! Elderly - no!

R.H. said...
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R.H. said...

hey mummy.

JahTeh said...

Robbert, first time I could log on since Friday and you give me the biggest laugh.

Middlechile, I hope the flu bug has not laid you too low. I think a lot of people feel that an Aussie in charge next time might be a good idea. At least if he fucks up, we can hang him without causing an international incident.

Thank you Cassandra Sedgwick, and no it wasn't me but I've had some close calls sitting on my little corner of the world.

R.H. said...

You make me laugh too.
Only you, you big funny outrageous woman.

Middle Child said...

Re a priority line - yes i think you would qualify...what it means is that you get priority for repairs. We had one because of Don's bad health...but if he had been ill and dependant on a carer who lived elswhere and needed to have her available to phone...i am sure it would apply - but only with telstra. Have a shot when you have a few spare hours to be on hold...