There's nothing like a butterfly to make me happy especially when this one is making a re-appearance in British fields after nearly going the way of the Dodo.
The Bitch Queen of the Universe is living up to her name and making life difficult.
My sister said this morning that she hates our mother with a passion. I would like to be able to say the same but even a negative emotion like hate is beyond me. I don't think of her at all, not as my mother. She's merely someone who plonked down in the beanbag of my life and hasn't left.
I pay the bills, get the groceries but pleasantries have gone by the board. She has lied to me for the last time although 'lie' doesn't really apply to someone who lives in a lala land of her own making. She fabricates a reality in which other people believe.
I am not sleeping. I am eating far too much of the wrong foods. I found apples in the fridge that must have been on speaking terms with Eve. I shake all the time. I refuse to increase medication that took me three years to decrease. My blood pressure would power two people.
The empathy I used to feel for this woman has dissipated.
All I can think of now is how to cling to sanity until my life is my own. I can't even imagine what I will do with a life of my own.