Sunday, August 16, 2009


I have a mobile phone for emergencies like me falling over in the middle of nowhere or mother falling over anywhere (she doesn't have the number, I'm not that stupid).

So when it goes off in the middle of the night I usually panic.
Last night's message which I deleted, (stupid me deleting blog fodder) was a cracker.

Apparently Miss S had given Mr M the big A and he was trying to find out what he did or was she just playing games. Language was a bit aggressive so I called Mr M a few names and deleted.

An hour later there's another message from Mr M to Miss S, which was more gentlemanly and soppy and begging. So I thought I'd better put him out of his misery. I sent a text (I will not use texted) back to say he was sending to the wrong number.

Half an hour goes by and then it's "Who is this"

Fifteen minutes later, (shut up, it takes me that long to find the alphabet to send proper English) I answered. "A sixty year old Grandmother".

Two minutes later, "srry love".

Sweet mystery of life. Did Miss S deliberately give him a wrong number? Did Mr M punch the wrong keys and keep doing it? Did they every meet up and make up? Why did I delete the first message, it would have given me a clue?


River said...

I answered messages once from a "K", I thought it was my daughter, we were discussing tv shows (as we often do) and only when "K" mentioned something I knew my own K would never watch did I discover I didn't actually know this particular "K". She, in turn thought I was her aunt. I also get calls from a supermarket in Victoria wanting to know why I haven't turned up for my shift.

Kath Lockett said...

Aww, I get a few of those too. I reckon they hand out dud numbers to guys or gals they're not interested in but don't have the heart to tell 'em face to face.

My favourite SMS once read: "I've got a party in my pants, do you want to come?"

Oh and here's the best word verificiation for my silly comment: "DILLO" !!

Jayne said...

I got a text from some young bloke who was wanting to meet up for a "bevvy or 3" at some pub.
I sent a reply text with "thanks but no thanks, think you've got the wrong number" only for the cheeky bugger to sms back asking if I was free "for a fun night out" LOL.

R.H. said...

A fun night out for you three birds would be scones at bingo.

Let the good times roll.

JahTeh said...

The best and worst call I got was from a young bloke who didn't know where he was and was asking for my street number and he was in Sydney.

Kath, I haven't heard that line since before mobile phones, nice to see it's still hanging around.

Jayne, you should have sms'd back and said you weren't free and given him a price.

Robbbert, you couldn't handle we three on a wild night out. For a start we'd lace the scones with something proof and cheat at Bingo.

R.H. said...

Yes well I was just trying to stir things up, scones and bingo is enormous fun. The wildest night was when I fell asleep and the girls played my books and ate all my lollies. When I woke up they were all out in the smoking annex, one laughed so much she pissed herself, really.

Ampersand Duck said...

Giving out the wrong phone number is one of the oldest ploys in modern dating -- I don't know why people still fall for it, especially if the person they got it from is being falsely bright or looking at you with eyes glazed over with boredom...

Good luck with the signature moment...

River said...

Stuff the scones, we'll just have the "something proof".

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

This is fantastic, Jahteh. My dad shares a name with a former manager of the NSW Water Board (as it was then known, pre Sydney Water days). He used to get callers wanting his opinion on sewerage. Sometimes, when he was being naughty, he'd give it.

R.H. said...

Cop onto my comment at Jabberwocky, it's amazing, incredible, I've read it twelve times already.

Cazzie!!! said...

Hehe, I had a series of sms on my mobile from someone I did not know and they drove me nuts so I sent a message saying I was calling it off and if they did not leave me alone I would get the cops onto must have worked LOL

R.H. said...

Greetings. I've decided to bring back the boater*.

"The hat of the people."

Okay? So if you see a 'joker in a boater' around Newport it'll be me. Say hello.

Fashion tip: A boater cannot be worn with a cravat.

But if you insist on doing it, stay indoors.


*To frighten the Muslims.

R.H. said...

I'd like to go out today but it's too windy.

Oh, and here comes some rain.

Well that does it.

In 1978 my best pal now living in Queensland sang 'I'm too tired to rock' at Moonee Ponds Town Hall.

I don't know why I mention that but it's just in passing.

He and Big Bev Hutchison were voted the best voices in Larundal Mental Hospital. They sang a duet.
At the same time I wanted to stage Hamlet in a fleabag rooming house on Beaconsfield Parade with Old Ma MacDougal as Ophelia, but the place burned down. Just as well.


R.H. said...

Funny the things you do when you're trapped at home. I miss my cell at Pentridge, the old days; grey blankets, raffia mat.
Toilet bowl in the corner: calico cover. Hat same material, similar beige, jacket grey like the blankets. Grey, beige, nothing at all. Fashion tips for a seventeen year-old.

R.H. said...

Loving you.


Truly, Robert.

JahTeh said...

Duck, it's always men who fall for that, their ego won't let them do other wise.

River, after the port, I think we might have to stick with scones.

Baron, a good one tonight. A call from somebody at the comedy club so I said great timing, I'm just about to put my mother in a nursing home. Who ever it was did a wonderful line in apology and grovel. Gave me a laugh.

Good for you Cazzie but a woman would have sms'd back and said I am the cops. Stalkers have no humour.

Robbert, you mentioned 'cravat' again and you know the ex used to wear them, now I've broken out in a rash. A boater should be worn with a dashing air and a half open shirt.
Thank you for keeping the blog warm while I've been otherwise engaged.

R.H. said...

Thanks, a boater can be worn as you say, but also more formally: smart blazer, collar and tie. I'll be dressing thus for a wedding on October 17, but will be wearing my Marilyn Monroe tie, just to show I oppose it.

Middle Child said...

Oh really..."A sixty year old Grandmother" but not like any ordinary sixty year old Grandmother that I've come accross