Thursday, October 08, 2009


I need de-stressing and lilac fairies aren't going to do it.

Doing a wax job on those pits would certainly help so would pulling the hairs out one by one with a pair of tweezers. Nice eyes, very calming.

Definitely calm now. The Welsh stud muffin always does it. I'll just splash the water onto his shirt ala Mr. Darcy and help him out of those nasty wet jeans. Very calming. Only one thing missing, where's me gin and tonic.
Hello Mr Rudd, yes, I'm one of those disreputable tarts on welfare who've just crawled in from the pokies and is slightly pissed because I drank beer and gambled (didn't lose, broke even). I did pay the bills first and buy food. Chocolate and pavlova were on special, go down a treat with the gin and lime which I remembered after I'd paid for the beer. Paying for beer when I had free gin at home, more than slightly pissed, my father would be ashamed of me forgetting about free booze.
It was all go at the home this morning. Gossip group in the kitchen making shortbread with my mother leading the pack. After lunch was Bingo and tomorrow they're all off, wheelchairs and all, to Mordialloc Pier to eat fish and chips and fight off the seagulls. If the weather is too chilly, it's back in the train and head for La Porchetta.
She also insulted me, I think, yes she did. She wants cotton knickers, mine. According to her I have a bigger bum than she does and so I'll have nicely stretched them and she won't have to struggle getting them on. I'm sure there's an insult in there somewhere. I dealt with that the way I deal with all weighty matters, I had a vanilla slice the size of a city block. Bloody woman.


Andrew said...

Never considered Welsh and sex before. I can be educated.....Big Bum. Hehe.

Brian Hughes said...

The lilac fairy was sufficient for me. The other two fairies are more like trolls.

JahTeh said...

Hughes likes fairies! Hughes likes fairies! Like that isn't going to make CameraFace happy.

Cameraface, you amaze me, I thought you considered everything and sex.
Watch the big bum jokes or I'll dress you in something diabolical for Halloween.

Marshall-Stacks said...

they're going on the train ?!

it'll be like a St.Trinian's excursion.

JahTeh said...

Marshall, you're not wrong and they're going because it's free travel for seniors week. The driver has to get out and put up the ramp for the wheelchairs, 8 of them, then do it all again two stations down. I'd go myself if I didn't have to go and stop my sister throwing the house away for the hard rubbish collection.

R.H. said...

Last night at bingo a big round woman was buying her books at the window. Just as I was passing her walking stick fell and clattered to the floor, I knew she'd have no hope of bending to pick it up so I did it myself, placing it on a door handle beside her. As I continued on into the room several voices called out thank you but I didn't look around, I've never wanted payment.

Farewell. To all.


Jayne said...

How lovely for your mum - the outing not nicking your knickers like that.

Kath Lockett said...

Sounds to me like you're dealing with things just fine.... :)

River said...

The Lilac Fairy is very pretty and quite calming to look at, but I can see where the Wet Welsh Wonder would do a much better job.
So it was a larger than usual vanilla slice? Yep, that'll work too.
Buy clown pants for your mum, that'll fix her.

Helen said...

Ha ha! Coincidence. I annoyed my daughter with underpants too, yesterday. I'd accidentally bought her a pack of 12 size 16 undies instead of a pack of 16 size 12s as I'd thought (See, graphic design, it does make a difference, thanks Target.) Poor gel thought I was making some kind of statement.

St Trinians?! *sprays wine on keyboard*

Marshall-Stacks said...

Well Helen,
River mentioning
"the wet Welsh wonder"
was when I sprayed the keyboard. Never mind Mr Darcy,
we have Mr Gruffy and
the thought of him wet works here, oh yes.
Hornblower indeed.

Copps? I checked the police website and there were no incidents listed in the area of that Seniors Big Day Out.

JahTeh said...

Robbert the Gentle, patron saint of old Chooks.
Is that a final farewell or a Nellie Melbe one?

Jayne, I'll find out tomorrow how it all went. I don't like to ring up and spoil the Monday conversation.

Not doing all that well Kath, I've even gone off chocolate. Sinus headache last night, blood pressure is up, panic attacks up, tranquilizer intake is up everything except the bank balance.

River, Very nice vanilla slice except for the icing sugar instead of passionfruit icing. A very thick layer of icing sugar so there was no way I could miss dropping it down the front of me.

Helen, I hate shopping in Target for that reason, nothing is ever written the way it should be. I love how they send out a huge catalogue but instore they will have only 3 or 4 specials.

Thanks Stacks, I had visions of them all stuck in the sand with the tide coming in. I must take myself to the pier for fish and chips.