There was a full page article in The Age on Sunday which made me rattle the paper and mutter things like mad tarts, stupid bitches. A very bad thing to finger point and insult my fellow fatbums but If I can't do it, given my status as morbidly obese, then who can.
The article was about feedees and gainers who love nothing more than to gain weight, revel in it actually but do it in secret and go to websites where they can glory in their weight gain.
Every woman has the right to do exactly what she likes in regard to her figure, fat or thin.
But as a serial dieter/stress eater, I'm constantly struggling to do one and not the other, I felt uneasy about this. Now I don't care whether I go below 100kgs but I would like to get to 100kgs. I make my own clothes and I feel good wearing them. I'll never get rid of the funny fat legs and 'mary jane' shoes are my lot forever. I don't look in the mirror and admire my ever descending boobs and the only good thing about my gut is the fact that I'll never drown, the fat would float me upside.
So can I think that the woman who wants to be 1000 lbs and the fattest person in the world is a stupid bitch? She's already over 400 kgs and just loves it. Am I weird or is she?
I'm against discrimination of fat people for jobs, it doesn't have anything to do with their ability to work well, it's the perception of fat equals dumb of the employer.
It's also people like me who look and say stupid bitch but then I say that to the mirror as well.
I've never felt that I had control over my life or people who wanted me to change into their version of what type of person I should be. If I was told to slim down, I would immediately eat in a show of passive aggression which went on until I was divorced and miraculously lost 20 kgs in a few months. I was free to be myself but it didn't last and I was back on the treadmill of passive aggressive eating. For the last three years food and stress have been the main threads of my existance. If I didn't eat, I gambled. If I didn't gamble then I went on spending sprees. If I didn't spend, I ate. It's a good thing I didn't smoke or drink but then with all the other vices, I wouldn't have had the money.
So reading about women who love gaining weight for the feeling it gives them made me angry and you know I'm the most even tempered of females (I'll crush anyone who says different).
And after writing all that, I still don't know why I got so pissed off, maybe it's because they're thin enough to get fat. Damned if I know.