I know you are, whoever you are. You hate me and I've done nothing to hurt you.
This year, I've mangled the toe nail, fallen over repeatedly and I do wish it was 'teh drinking', diabetes, cholesterol, blood pressure and put on weight. Well no, I haven't put on weight, that was last year, this year I haven't lost any which is supposed to fix the diabetes, cholesterol and blood pressure, none of which I swear I've got. Maybe the blood pressure but that's mother and I haven't seen her for a week so maybe that's down. Did you know you can get the blood pressure taken at the pharmacy for $3.50? Cheaper than the doc's.
And not forgetting the neighbourhood cretins overturning the wheelie bins along the entire street. Or setting the tin of fireworks off in the street. Or making loud plans outside the gate for stealing the flares from the two boats around the corner. Or throwing their empty beer bottles over my fence.
Now it's Orb season and going outdoors is a Bear Grylls adventure in terror. I just found out he is the top yob of the Boy Scouts, who'd have thought. My kid tried joining the Cubs, lasted about 6 months when he discovered the most easily obtained badge in this group was creative bullying.
I was lucky to cut back the apple tree on one side so I could get to the line without ending up someone's dinner.
I was heading somewhere with this, aha, the toilet. Half flush has been borked for about a year now and there's a big notice which says 'use full flush' which is okay since I've turned the water down but now we are a duo. When I was on my own, it would remain unflushed except for the really important business. So last night it decided to go into full Niagara Falls mode and nothing I could do would stop it except turn the damn water off completely. BrickOutHouse hearing the banging and swearing decided that he could connect a new cistern quite easily. He sets off for Bunnings tonight and comes back highly offended because they wouldn't let him in with bare feet.
Why did he think they would? So half flush is working, just. BOH's brain not so much.
And it's only February.