Slaving at the Home

I am so tired I could sing "ole Man River" and sound like Paul Robeson.  
How can a woman in a wheel chair collect so much junk that it filled two candy striped bags from the $2 Emporium?
She just looked at me and said I didn't put it up there, up there being the topmost cupboard which is above the clothes wardrobe.
I tidied all the clothes last week and the drawers. I put her heavy winter things in a garbage bag and put it on the floor of the wardrobe after taking one look at the top cupboard where  several plastic bags of clothes threatened to fall on my head.
So I go down today armed with four bags to pack her clothes neatly until next winter and it looks like there will be a next winter. I tell you this woman will outlast cockroaches. 
There are only two small bags of clothes and night dresses, the light ones she feels too cold to wear.  I'm hoping the nighties will fit my lardarse in which case I won't have to break into the emergency 'going to hospital' brand new nightdresses.
The rest of the space was taken up by an empty box that the cd player came in. A plastic bag full of books belonging to Gail who'd like them back but it's been over a year since her ma raced up that stairway to paradise and she hasn't been seen.  But just in case I put them in the bookcase library. I'm glad they didn't fall on my head, damned heavy trying to get them out from the back of the stupid deep cupboard.
Then two lots of lace in bags.  She'd gone through all that lace I'd taken down for the activities room two years ago and why?  She hid them up there because they were her favourite pieces and she didn't want to share.
Also on the heavy side, 3 parcels of Christmas cards, envelopes (I don't have any envelopes, can you bring me some etc....)and Christmas stickers (expensive ones).
Of course she didn't put them up there, she got one of her lackeys to do it.
They're home now, ready to be put with the rest of the dresses she'll never wear again but isn't quite ready to part with yet.  My sister would throw them out but I can't, I remember where we bought the material and what I usually bought in the jewellery line to go on them.
I'll go through the cards, throw out the really crappy ones, cut up the good ones and put them in the Christmas box for next card season.  
You see how my year has progressed to next Christmas already. Still if I don't do it now, I'll have to at some stage.
No, I haven't finished the Christmas brooch tree.
No, I haven't finished or started the gold crackling on the frame for the tree.


Speaking of cockroaches, we were way up there, somewhere. There was a huge one in the  BOH's room and I was going to shove the critter in one of his work sneakers to see if they really could survive anything but I took pity on him and threw him out the front door for the magpies to chase. He was a biggun and so's the huntsman that's disappeared from his usual corner.  I swear on New Year's Eve I had a tribe of possums sitting on the roof watching the fireworks and being very merry considering the noise of kerthumping over the tiles for an hour.
I've seen a brochure for a round the world cruise, $35,000.00, it would be worth the mortgage and I wouldn't even set one foot to the ground in any country where there were people.
Oh, and I thought I might take up Scuba lessons but then I thought of me in a wet suit. The headlines, "Unusual whale sighted off Mentone Beach.  Scientists baffled! Aussie Disposals rushed for harpoons."  


Life is like a box of chocolates especially if the box is full of empty wrappers.