Friday, November 16, 2012

I'm not really a believer but.....

I've been following Link's astrology on her blog and she's been spot on lately.  We all know that astrology isn't science buuuuut, my stars this November were all about house and home.  
Strange things have been happening and I swear there is a black hole in the universe of my bedroom.
1.  I dropped the lid of my lipstick at my feet and it's disappeared. It must be under the bed but a sweep with the broom revealed nothing.
2.  Last night my small night stand wobbled a bit then the one screw holding the whole lot together appeared to unscrew itself and I now have two pieces of night stand. The screw is not screwing back so I have to find another of the exact size but also somehow glue it in.
3.  This morning while putting on my earring the clip of one went ping and disappeared. I looked in my slippers, the bed and down my bra, nothing.
4.  A week ago my dressing gown caught the small photo of my son that stays on the nightstand so I looked on the floor, the hem of the gown and the bed.  It's gone, I haven't found it yet. I tried the sweep under the bed thing again, nothing. And no, I can't lay on the floor to look with a torch, I'm not that fond of pain.
And then we have the house.
5. I wondered how I managed to get wasps inside the bathroom.  The window is open but there's no screen. As the Bwca would say, bad men did it and ran away.  I think the storm did it which means the little doodads holding it on have broken and I need a whole new screen otherwise the bathroom will turn into mould central.
6. A sunny day, great, hang out the washing for a lovely clean smell. Holding the wire on the Hills with one hand and reaching for the sheet with the other and the wire breaks and I go flat.
Which reminds me I haven't brought the washing in yet and the wire is still trailing through the grass. 37 years that wire has been there, doesn't anything last any more?
7.  This might not qualify since it happens regularly. My chair fell off its bricks, while I was in it.
You want frustrating? Try lining up four chair legs with four bricks and centre them.  It can be done but only by using words of four letters and repeating until finished. Why is it on bricks, I hear you ask?  It was on wheels but I fell over, hit the chair which fell over and the wheel splintered the wood it was jammed into.  I tried putting a couple of books under the wheeless leg but the other wheels kept spinning round so I took all of them off and brought in the bricks.
And all this after the lights fused and the dustbuster fritzed.
And my sister cracked a fetlock walking home from work Saturday night, not applicable to me really except that Karma's a bitch and just bit her on the fibula.
It might be time to break out the Tarot cards, take a look at the Angel Oracle and find my essence in the Druid Plant mythology.  On the other hand Link could give me better stars for December and find my earring clip.


Andrew said...

I once heard a similar tale of woes about a dog. His name was Lucky.

Pip said...

A tip for repairing the nightstand;
poke a match or two into the screw hole, and break them off about level with the surface. Then screw the screw back in. The matches will fill up any extra space caused by the hole ending up oversized.
Usually there is no need to use any glue on the matches, as the outward pressure caused by the screw is enough to restore nearly the original strength. A little white woodworking glue can be added to the matches if you want to be really sure its not going to come apart again.


JahTeh said...

Thank you Andrew, I actually laughed out loud. Now be a sweetheart and get down here and fix the Hills.

Pip, matches, of course. I was thinking newspaper and glue for some reason. And to make things difficult, the screw has no place to put a screwdriver so I've tried using pliers to get a grip.

I blame everything on the eclipse.

River said...

Holey doughnut! You've had a rum run lately. Hopefully next month will be better.
pip's idea with the matches works well. My daughter's landlord has fixed screws in this manner all over her house. Her bedroom door is held on with screws screwed into matches in the gaping holes left by the hinges falling off. She doesn't dare open or close it anymore, just squeezes in and out through the gap.

Link said...

I'll do my best JahTeh. But Saturn's transit of Scworpee--oh (Leo's 4th house) is not due to end 'till Xmas Eve 2014. Brace yourself lassie and find out where your 4th house is natally, by entering your birth details in at Thankfully Leo's have asteroid Circe traversing their sign. Circe held Odysseus captive amongst other things. . . . Here's a link to some Circe type info at 'Linda land' a forum for devotees of Linda Goodman.

Doing ze stars is fun, I realise it's a great opportunity to insult 100% of the population. But would I ever do that?

JahTeh said...

River, it still doesn't fix the problem of not being able to screw the screw into place. I have to put the screw in the base through the steel screw holder then turn the base until the screw goes into the hollow column. If that doesn't make sense, think about me at midnight trying to do it.

Link, It's only Christmas 2012, 2014 is two years away and I never did like Scorpios. Circe, I liked her, turned men into pigs, meh, not such a big stretch for a magical wench of her talent.

R.H. said...

Why is astrology in the back of the newspaper with the comics? Shouldn't it be on the front page?
I've never came across that matchstick idea before. You'd be better off using a larger screw. Next size up maybe, ask at Bunnings.