Saturday, December 28, 2013

Pink and the air is blue.


Now River you could whip this up in an afternoon in all those bright colours to match your decor.
It doesn't look like it's rigged to actually light up a room but as a statement, it makes one.

Christmas dinner at the Home, what can I say about it......lots......

1. The turkey was well cooked. My mother thought it was pork, the lady next to her thought it was lamb. 
2. A simple onion flavoured gravy and lord knows there are plenty of liquid gravies out there that don't need work just a zap in the microwave.
3. Great long strips of undercooked sauteed onion slapped on top of the meal in a minute amount of liquid does not substitute for gravy, proper gravy. Pardon me, but this is where I step up to my soapbox. These are old people, they don't handle onions very well, small diced, well cooked onions in a lot of sauce, maybe. Not long thick bits of onion they can choke on.
4. An entree is some food that is put on a plate in front of you to eat. It is not thick slices of ham surrounded by tiny (rockhard) gherkins and cocktail onions both of which old people can choke on. That is if they could get to them. Put in the middle of the table secure under cling wrap with no serving tongs made it damn hard unless like Inspector Gadget someone had hidden extendable arms. Eventually the serving boy from the kitchen remember to remove the wrap but still didn't put out tongs. Nobody touched it except  me and I had to use my dessert spoon. 
5. What is the point of writing a menu in flowery language then rolling it up and tying it when most of the residents can't untie anything. Some asked if it was part of the meal.
6. None of the relatives were asked if they would like a glass of wine. I had two bottle of vodka lime and bitters, lucky me. The only drink on the table, in the middle where no-one could reach it, was a jug of ice water. No cordial, no lemonade, no pretty Christmas cups.
7. When the menu says, pudding with custard, trifle and pavlova, I expect them all to appear. The pavlova disappeared into the fridge and wasn't seen again until yesterday when I arrived at the Home to find a piece waiting for me. Now I'm certain the rooms are bugged considering how I went on about it.
8. No coffee was served and no-one was asked if they wanted it.
9. Coffee would have helped the dry crumbly mince pies go down. Crumbs choke old people. What was wrong with thinking ahead and buying the pies with the lattice tops, not so many crumbs and a smaller size.
10. No table cloths because an activities supervisor wasn't rostered on to make sure everything was Christmasy. Actually one was but she was told very rudely, not to bother coming in. She snuck in later to see everybody and caught me in full flight. Them-in-charge too cheap to pay her double time for the day. She would have made a big difference to the atmosphere and made sure all the residents knew what was what.

The idea of a newsletter is to put news in it. That includes a form letting the staff know who is being taken out for the day so that 10 people don't suddenly need to be showered when relatives turn up and ask if they're ready. Next year (I can't believe I said that) I will be having lunch with mum in her room and I'll bring the food with me. Was it worth the $18 I had to pay? Bloody hell NO. And my shit sister did not give me a present again, bitch. I might have bingo wings but she's starting to get turkey neck bwahahahhaha!

8 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Bloody unbelievable. Except that it is all too believable. Hiss and spit. I think I would have needed two BUCKETS of booze.

JahTeh said...

EC, there was no atmosphere at all, just another day. Someone should have been there to oversee and the activities lady was furious because she would have done it all. They're trying to get rid of her because all the residents love her. She drove me home just to say hello to the great white lump and she's so tiny she was almost buried under cat when she sat down. I can't complain about the food just aspects of it that weren't thought through. It went down well with two bottles. (small)

River said...

Echoing Elephant's Child. For heaven's sake!! Do they think that residents are senile with no understanding just because they are older? That's a shameful way to treat Christmas Dinner. At the very least, they should have made sure residents could get to the water, lemonade would have been nicer.
Maybe it was a case of everybody thinking someone else was doing that bit.

R.H. said...

I've got better lamps. No kidding. For one of them I've been offered $1800. I won't sell because the latte set would get it. In which case I'd rather smash it, truly.

Andrew said...

What a farce, but ended with a laugh. Turkey neck, haha.

JahTeh said...

River, the lady who drove me home is wonderful with the residents and she does nothing but run around making sure they are all right and she was just furious that no-one supervised.

Robert, I'm surprised that the artistic side of you didn't appreciate this. You could knock up a couple of candlesticks for the top of the piano. $1800, I bet it's worth $3000.

Andrew, I did all the running around making sure she had presents and I got zip. Yours sounded a monster of a day after a busy week, I was glad to get home to peace and quiet.

R.H. said...

Did I say I didn't appreciate it? Wake up! The lamp is four feet six inches high and in the shape of the Statue of Liberty: a woman in a loose robe is showing a bare leg while holding up a light.
The piano cost me $200 and I had to free up the hammers with WD40

Jayne said...

GRRRRRR.
That is just plain, bloody lazy on the management side - doesn't take much to say "Here's throw these on the table, put that tree there, toss this xmas cd on the stereo, etc".
As for the food....double grrr.
Make and take your own next year for sure, enjoy it with your mum in her room and slurp in extra sherry ;)