Sunday, June 03, 2018

I'm hurting again

My new chair I won on ebay for $25 and it is so comfortable and it has a feather cushion. The day was a monster for picking it up, I couldn't take my walker so made do with a walking stick. I wasn't steady, I panic when I'm in an unfamiliar place, so I used the stick and held on to the picket fence with the other hand. Who in the fecking heck paints a gate the same colour as the fence and doesn't put a handle on it. The fat lady didn't sing, she swinged on the opening gate. Then she swore a whole lot.  We managed to jam the chair in the back of the car and took off for home and I swear the sun set at the top of Westgate Bridge and it was pitch dark until all the lights came on.  Pitch dark at home but I'd left the lights on, yelled for the neighbour and his trolley and the chair was in place. I promised both of them never to ask another favour like that again.
Later on when I'd recovered I decided to see how comfortable the new chair was.  It was so comfortable, back just right for a head rest, seat fitted perfectly, see the height of that feather cushion, divine.  Ah but Houston we have a problem, by the time I'd sat on that soft cushion it was about 10cm high and I couldn't haul myself out.  That was a half hour of hell. I have a spare cushion which will go under the feathers, it might help after I have recovered from the 2nd fall in as many months.

There was wailing, crying, paining then lying flat to check for broken bits, me and the glass. I'd smashed into the chest of drawers and my art glass fell on me, nothing broken, fat broke our fall.  It has taken me 3 days to figure out how I went flying through the air not just a trip and fall, but flying from the hall to end up in the bedroom.  The hem of my dressing gown had come undone just enough to stand on it like a rock in an elastic band and propelled me forward, right side hit the drawers then crunched to the floor.  The bruise is shaping up to be one of my better ones.

Friday night is not a good time for Ambos calling on falling fat ladies so they sent out the 2nd team and they do not have pump up seats.  I have learnt a new way of getting up. You get a sheet, twist it longways, under the arms it goes, bend the knees provided nothing is broken, they each take an end, brace their feet and they pull and I push and I was up. The IceBear was such a help, you could see it in his eyes, "good thing she'd just filled my dish".  I wrapped up in my blanket and slept in the other comfortable chair until 2 when I went to bed. The hurting really starts the next day, fingers, elbow, shoulder, hip, knee and the toe with the nail half off. Plenty of pills and joy, I'd given in to temptation and bought mango and vanilla ice-cream and marshmallows to put in my black coffee, best tranquilizers ever.

Today I walked, slowly. Sat in the sun and read the paper, but by the time I was halfway home, the clouds appeared and it began to chill.  I did move 3 heavy things just to prove I wasn't completely useless.  Why does Nephew always arrive just as I've finished doing the hard stuff? 

Tomorrow's question is, will I push the couch out of the back door into the carport or sit beside the fire doing something gentle?  Advice dear bloggers?

14 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Now that is a chair to luxuriate in.
Which I hope you can.

JahTeh said...

That's was quick El Chi. I was just about to email you, I am worried that you haven't received package, River in SA and Annie in Vic both have. Thieving mongrels in Canberra can't be trusted at all and politicians rub off on everybody.

River said...

I love the chair, lovely to have a back high enough to be able to rest the head, something I forgot when I chose my couch. I'm sorry you're hurting. I suggest an easy day by the fire tomorrow, then get some help to move the couch out.

Elephant's Child said...

As I suspected, there is indeed more to the post than I saw.
Definitely an easy day tomorrow. And the day after. And let someone else move the couch out. Several someones if necessary.

Andrew said...

River, Annie and EC are receiving packages and I am not? Well then, don't expect me to be too kind. You are not suffering from postnatal psychosis like someone dear to me is, so I suggest you not lounge around in your rather attractive new chair next to the fire and just bloody well get on with the jobs. For some reason the father of the lass with postnatal psychosis thought it was appropriate to tell her to get her act together and get on with it. The lass called nurses and a guard to have him removed from the hospital.

JahTeh said...

Andrew, I weighed your present and it would cost less to buy new ones than post.

Every time you post about her and the twins I feel for her. 46 years ago I was told to get my act together and friends whispered that I had always been lazy. It's appalling that this is still going on when it's a recognized mental disorder for 1 in 5 mothers. It's the most awful thing and tears your mind to shreds. Because I was in my 20s I had to go back to the shrink for a certificate to say I knew what I was doing by not having another child - ever. Shrink said I was the sanest person he'd seen that day and signed the paper. I was so relieved I cried all the way home now I supposed I'd be pilloried because of all the women who can't have children. And if you don't want me to visit you, install a doorbell that sounds like a baby crying, it still terrifies me.
Can we send creepy father back to where he came from?

River, comfy comfy chair but you are so small that by the time you sat back in it, your feet wouldn't reach the floor. We should be able to walk into a store and have a "goldilocks" choice.

Andrew said...

Her father loves his daughter but just does not understand. He thinks having a drink or ten solves everything. She is apparently one in 500. Like you, the crying babies really get to her, and they are not really crying babies. I made one scream the other night. Babies don't like me, but of course lalalala, they love R.

Jayne said...

Keep moving, don't park yourself in front of the fire - you'll stiffen up even more with the bruises and insult to your dignity.
Some gentle stretching of your arms, whilst perched in your new chair, would be good. Stretch out your arm towards the glass of Bombay Gin, slowly bring it in towards your mouth, sip , then stretch out to the plate of pate and bikkies.

Beth Waltz said...

Jayne speaks words of great wisdom: please follow her instructions to the letter!

You're demonstrating good sense in modifying your home environment for safety and comfort, JahTeh. A truly comfortable chair is essential for reading, resting and meditating with one's eyes firmly closed -- and this chair's appearance is a bonus that will lift your spirits (not as much as ice cream in coffee, but close).

Once upon a time my father-the-builder was asked by a lady who was developing mobility problems to "do something" about her bedroom and bath. She loathed the idea of standard sick-room accoutrements, so he used cast panels of decorative metal to create a four-poster bed frame that resembled a garden pergola. She "climbed" the posts to get out of bed and used a complementary set of heavy table and chairs as hand-holds to the bathroom, and for meals taken en suite. Dad framed the toilet in a matching canopy with sides et voila!

JahTeh said...

Andrew, all of us love R but you come a close second. These days you have to be careful about kids, the screaming one behind could be autistic, ADHD or the mother is still trying to get over the beating she copped last night and just can't control them.

Jayne, I have enough trouble standing upright sober let alone on the Bombay. My exercise for today was vac 2 feet of carpet and rake, yes, rake the fur from under my chair, bloody cat.

Beth, the chair is currently lifting the cat's spirits, he's snuggled down behind two lacy cushions and made a hollow in the feather one. He's been there since 10.30.
I want a wet room, no bath and no shower frame just somewhere to put a chair to sit on to wash my feet. I have the plans, just no money. I like my separate toilet though. Your father has good ideas like Jayne. On hot nights her swimming pool is an old bath tub in the back yard where she lolls around naked drinking champagne.

Jayne said...

Talk to the Grey Army re bathroom renos, they be qualified and cheaper than usual free range tradies.
https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/help-home/home-care-packages
Technically you need all bath tub & shower thingies removed, floor (and about 30 cms up the walls all around) water proofed then a type of lino goes down (and up the 30 cms of wall).
Took em about 2 weeks + to do our bathroom for dad.
Hence my love of bathing in the backyard by moonlight.

JahTeh said...

Bloody hell Jayne, I'm exhausted just reading that.

Ann ODyne said...

Love the idea of Jayne nude in her backyard bath sipping Champers. Someone has to do it, because I can't. The last time I luxuriated in a bath, it was so difficult to rise from sitting in a small space that I dare not do it again in case I end up needing the fire brigade to get me out.
My parcel from the ever-generous & thoughtful Witch woman was divine sparkly things that made my day, thank you darling I am so pleased to see you found a perfect chair at a perfect price.
While in it, don't forget to do Jayne's suggested exercises "Stretch out your arm towards the glass of Bombay Gin, slowly bring it in towards your mouth, sip , then stretch out to the plate of pate and bikkies."

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