Some people leave footprints on our heart. Cats leave fur on our sweaters. Dogs leave drool on our shoes. Families will crap on our doorstep. So when life gives you crap, garden it and make roses.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
TAC Ads
I would say not, given the hoon that went screaming around the corner near my house last night.
The message is not getting across because the hoons that need the message are out hooning.
Who is getting the message?
Everyone who has lost someone in an accident because we're home watching the TAC ads.
For once, the cops have the right idea.
Take the hoon's car and crush it into a tiny cube. That's for the first offence.
For the second offence in another car, crush the car with the hoon in it.
Don't complain about the expense, use the money wasted on TAC ads.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
What's the use of a guide that doesn't guide?
Last night, two episodes of 'Ghost Whisperer', joy for me until it turned into one episode and that was on very late, late late.
So GW is not exactly Shakespeare at the Old Vic but I enjoy it and it has a continuing story line which they managed to keep in sequence, at least. And Jennifer Love Hewitt has stopped wearing her Betty Boop line of frou frou dresses so I've stopped wanting a ghost to drop a match on her.
Now I'm sitting down with cat on knee, enjoying.
The cat sits up, ears go up.
Cat jumps down, goes into the dark hall, goes through to the dark study then comes out and SLINKS close to the ground until she reaches me.
And sits on my knee again.
Yes, I'm spooked.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tutanhkamun Online
We're all familiar with the golden mask of the boy Pharoah, Tutankhamun, but it was only one of the thousands of objects found by Haward Carter.
In the Sackler Library at Oxford, there is a room where the humidity and temperature are controlled in order to preserve things not as durable as gold. The Griffith Institute houses the notes, photographs and diaries of the English archaeologist who discovered Tutankhamun's tomb in 1922. For 10 years, Carter catalogued the thousands of treasures stacked inside the chambers, but the majority of his work has never been published.
In 1993, Jaromir Malek started his work when he realized that of a total of 5,398 artefacts found, only a third had been properly studied and published. He decided to put all of Carter's notes online, the entire archive available for study.
When Carter died in 1939, he had no collaborators left to continue his work. While the artefacts themselves are held in the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities in Cairo, the Griffith Institute has all of Carter's written records. He recorded his finds on more than 3,500 cards with additional notes by Carter's chemist and conservator, Alfred Lucas. There are also more than 1,000 photographs by Harry Burton, plus hundreds of fragile pages from Carter's journals and diaries and 60 maps and plans of the excavation site, one of which has the valley's contours with Carter's black-ink lines showing the dig site located in the deepest point of the valley where the floodwater dumps debris when it rains. This plus the fact that the later tomb of RamsesVI was built almost on top of it, kept the smaller tomb (after the first break-in) undisturbed.
Malek and his staff had to work in their spare time due to a lack of funding but in 1995, "Tutankhamun: Anatomy of an Excavation" became one of the first websites dedicated to Egyptology. 98% of the material is online with the last pages available within the next 3 months.

This is one of the treasures, a pectoral scarab ornament belonging to the Pharoah. It has at its centre, another mystery. To the west of the Nile, there is a patch of desert where Libyan desert glass is found. It sits on the sandy surface but is much older than the sand and is almost pure silica. The scarab in the middle of the ornament is the only piece of the glass ever found in Egyptian jewellery.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Another fritzing
This house is telling me that I can't live here anymore.
Changing the light bulb by me is nerve wracking and dangerous.
Get the ladder.
Find somewhere to hold the new globe and the old globe. Yes I do have a big gob.
Go up the ladder carefully.
Unscrew the three screws holding the shade but not all the way out. Last time I did that I was fishing around in the toilet bowl with a sieve. Yes I did forget to put the lid down.
Hold the glass shade, take out dead bulb, wonder where to shove it while getting the live bulb.
Yes I do have a big gob but there's no where else since I'm holding a bulb, shade and one hand on the ceiling.
Put in the live bulb, put the shade back, screw the screws in.
Take hand off the ceiling. ffs, just let go of the ceiling. Okay, leave hand on the ceiling until one foot goes down a rung. So you've just dislocated one shoulder but don't whine to yourself, now take the hand off the ceiling.
Or I could just leave the door open and turn on the hall light until the BrickOutHouse turns up.
He stands on the floor, unscrews with one hand, replaces bulb with other, drops nothing in the toilet, replaces shade. It takes him 2 minutes.
Friday, July 23, 2010
This IS a serious science blog

I've posted before about the cannibalistic mating habits of various insects but we have more research which proves where a male keeps his brain and how females can multi-task though anything.
Take one sex-crazed praying mantis. His mission is to jump onto a female's back, grip hard, get his rocks off and jump to safety. Unfortunately all too often in a giant FAIL, he'll slip right into the female's mandibles and get his head ripped off for an appetizer.
In some mantid species, getting your head ripped off also loses the system of nerves that tells you to stop copulating. The nerves that keep copulation going are in your abdomen and remain intact.
So, while Madam is munching and lunching upstairs and re-designing the leaf and twig penthouse, the headless wonder is still going strong in the basement.
You'll notice, not one snigger during this serious blog post.
"snork"
"Bwahahahahhahahha"
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
This was always a deeply interesting science blog

So in the interests of science, here we have a photo of a Hairy Angler Fish from the Deep Australia Project. Not even a mother could love that face. If there is justice in this world, my ex husband should now look like this......without the teeth.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
This or the other?

Through the gloom there's a birthday looming
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
One of those dreams
It was one of those dreams that linger longer than usual probably because I was woken up in the middle of it by the furball wanting its too early breakfast.I had complained so much about dress designers to everyone who would listen that one of the Paris designers had chosen me to end his show wearing 'The Wedding Dress'. No I didn't look like bones up there or bones down there, it was me in all my wall to wall flab. The dress was gorgeous, heavily beaded V neck, wide crinoline type skirt with train, miles of petticoats and heels, me, wearing heels. My flowers were white roses and I didn't so much as parade down the cat walk as glide. As I reached the end and had to turn, I remember thinking, here it is, where I go over the side and kill half the audience but no, I turned with grace, using my feet to flick the train behind me and continued to glide to tumultuous applause. I didn't have a veil, just a sparkly headdressy thing. Thanks to the cat, I didn't get to see myself as the next supermodel plus plus size but the dress was a beauty.
So the dream started me thinking (at that time of the morning, Great Goddess) about why dress designers don't design for lardarses. It's because they can't. Miss Skinny Pink in Satin is flat all the way around, up and down, no tits, no bum. Designers cannot cope with lumps. Fat ladies have lumps. They have lumps in strange places, they have one up/one down boobs. Fat stomachs tend to move as one glides (yes, we glide, shuttup) legs can be thinnish to tree trunks.Monday, July 12, 2010
I'm not sure I can handle another chance

Friday, July 09, 2010
Idle, I haz it
Three days at the home this week.
I will just take a minute to unpack my brain.
Damn, I forgot where I left it.
Think, where do I hide the chocolate.
Thank the Goddess, brain and left over chocolate.
Sorry can't blog, eating chocolate.
Can't blog tomorrow either, smashing scales with hammer.
Monday, July 05, 2010
Plants I could get to like
I could really get to like that green blobby thing pictured here. For a start it's growing in the Atacama desert in Chili which is not the most hospitible places for growing. It's called llareta, a relative of parsley, looks like moss but actually consists of thousands of flowering buds on long stems which are so densely packed together they can withstand the weight of a human. Some parts of the above plant (photographed by Rachel Sussman) might be more than 3000 years old but we don't know enough about it to be sure. It has adapted to this extreme environment and is very slow growing. Of course humans can't leave it alone, the locals use it as fuel and make medicine from it which is fine if you're living in the same extreme location but don't tell big Pharma companies or it will be history.Sunday, July 04, 2010
July is not turning out well at all
The BrickOutHouse brought all his washing over including his world record sock collection. Washing was no problem but with two pairs of jeans in the dryer, it fritzed itself. Smell of burning, very hot plug in the power point and a low level clunk in the machine itself. Still I have been using it since 1991. Out comes Grandmother's giant solid stainless steel clothes stand which weighs a tonne and take up half the MCG's ground when it's all out in radiating spokes. I don't think I've used it since I put his nappies on it. (He said he didn't need to know that)
I dropped my mobile phone in my coffee cup. It was not a day for multi-tasking but being 5 years old and very basic, it didn't seem to do it any harm.
Putting paper in the bottom of the kitty litter tray was not a success. I walked in to the laundry to find kitty litter still in the tray but shredded paper from wall to wall. I have no idea how she did it but she must have had a grand time.
Fast forward Miss O'Dyne.
The black and white terror seems to have recovered from setting her tail on fire the other night.
She was rolling round the floor with BOH, so engrossed in him playing with her that only I noticed the slight smell of singeing. Stupid clot had her tail right up against the gas fire. OMG, the drama. He's still checking to see if any hair has fallen out, his precious was nearly hurt. Little beast is milking it for all it's worth, even cringing when he touches it.
My adventures on eBil, now at an end, cost me dearly money wise but lessons learnt were worth it. I am now ready to launch my retaliation against the largest of the shonky dealers and he's not getting the stones back, I'm keeping the evidence.
Happy Fourth of July.
Friday, July 02, 2010
Confession time
The vegetables that I like are vastly outnumbered by the vegetables I don't like. Tofu is only made bearable by coating it in batter and smothering it with sweet and sour sauce. There are tofu sausages made by Sanitarium which gives me a taste of normality with tomato sauce and mashed potatoes although if you read the ingredients on the back of the pack it might as well be MacDonald's.
It's no good directing me in the direction of good vego recipes, I have them by the hundreds but the problem is, they all contain vegetables and I have to cook them. I am so past cooking a decent meal.
Yesterday I had such a craving for roast pork that I gave in and bought 4 little pork belly cutlets. I put a skewer through them, covered them in soy/ginger marinade, hung them over a baking pan and let them cook. The smell was enticing, the eating not so much and I will be glad when they leave the body. The sight of how much fat was left in the bottom of the pan from four 8cmx4cm pieces of pork was frightening. It wasn't wasted, the magpies were enjoying bread dipped pork drippings all morning.
I no longer want red meat, add pork to the list but a geniune free range piece of chicken does find it's way to the table at least once a week along with some salmon and a tin of sardines or my doctor screams about bone fractures along with the other screaming he does when I refuse to get on his scales or have blood and fasting tests which means getting up too early on cold mornings.
My weight is at the limit of what frightens me, not as much as it was in 2000 but more than it was when I lost 20 kgs in the post divorce glow. My credit card is at the same limit, I dare not go over either of them. It's not like I'm not trying, I mean I'm not just sitting here eating chocolate, it's chocolate covered dried fruit. See, I'm trying. But I confess, my diet is appalling.
Breakfast cereal is a mixture of whatever's on special but mainly high fibre and skim milk but it's winter and that's cold eating. Don't mention porridge, I've told you lot before, it's like eating cold snot. But toast (wholemeal wholegrain) and two free range boiled eggs (before Miss O'Dyne has the vapours, Kangaroo Island free range eggs) and steaming hot Earl Grey tea I can manage with my eyes shut and they usually are until midday.
The problem is, I'm a stress eater and staying home with my feet up beside the fire lessens stress but I'm still stressed because I'm not used to de-stressing yet, being still in 'what's happening to mother' mode. This is not as bad as it was but the brain still lingers there. The last time I lost weight, I stayed home, kept busy (not housekeeping, never housekeeping) and the kilos dropped off. It didn't last, the motherdrama kicked into high gear and I was back in the fat business.
If I could just resist the siren call of cakes, forget the hand to gob pleasure of chocolate, the melting goodness of a quiche made with sour cream and Tasmanian Brie, the steam from hot crisp fried chips crusted with sea salt and bread, lovely lovely fresh bread with creamy butter and not the crap Nuttlex I'm stuck with. You did notice the absence of vegetables in there, I thought you might have.
There's no getting round it, I'm the world's worst vegetarian.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
You can have the real goodies for a price
If you want the real stuff why not try the Eternal Diamond stiletto, for a measly 100,000 pounds. They're made entirely from gold and diamonds and will give a shine to the most witless of women. They have been created by bespoke jewellers the House of Borgezie, and the world's first designs have already created a stir among celebrities.

Made by British jewellery designer Christopher Michael Shellis, each pair is handcrafted from solid gold and then encrusted with 2,200 brilliant cut diamonds, totalling 30 carats.
Shellis has spent three years working on the creation, perfect for summer balls, society weddings and red carpet events. Not to mention broken ankles, necks and getting mugged for your Cinderallas.
The betting books are closed on Victoria Beckham getting the first pair.
Just another eBil lesson
A synthetic stone is not a fake. Synthetic describes a gem made in a laboratory which has the same basic chemical composition and similar chemical, optical and physical properties to its natural counterpart.
Imitation is glass or plastic.
Synthetic diamonds were first produced in the early 1950’s for industrial use. Synthetic rubies were produced in the 19th century for the watch making industry in Switzerland.
Synthetic diamonds have essentially the same composition as natural diamonds but usually without the flaws like included minerals that come with the way diamonds are formed. Manufacturers are now deliberately putting flaws in their stones to fool the eye or a jeweller’s loupe.
There are now instruments that detect the synthetics. When placed against a natural diamond, they emit a sound but not with synthetics.
A cubic zirconia is not a synthetic diamond, it’s an imitation with a different chemical composition. It also weighs more than a diamond which is why it’s always sold by size not carat weight.
So now to eBil.
1. Buy from a reputable buyer (Ha!) in Australia so you can hunt them down and kneecap them.
2. If you do get lab diamonds, you have to make sure that they’re hand cut and polished not machine cut in a factory in China.
3. Have them appraised by someone who knows the difference between Czs and lab diamonds or a jeweller who has a beep machine because they don’t beep.
4. Don’t buy them on eBil if you’re smart.
The large stone at the top is 207 carats and from Thailand, in other words, take your chances.Tuesday, June 29, 2010
I knew it wasn't going to be easy
I'm reading the booklet which has all the Telstra instructions and you know what I'm like with instructions, hopeless. And then there's what will happen when the dial-up finally cuts out on July 3, do I still have an Optusnet email?
So, today I get a large envelope in the mail telling me I have 10 days to cancel my contract with Telstra wirless broadband and mobile phone. Wtf, I didn't sign up for mobile phone but it sounds as though I get charged on the phone bill for a phone I don't have. Collect all papers and prepare to storm Telstra shop on Thursday. Why don't the bastards get it right.
It's just another thing to deal with. I'm already dealing with depression by hiding in a corner hoping it will get tired of looking for me. It's no big thing just making me not function a bit more than I don't function normally. I feel for people who deal with real depression every day and more are not coping at all especially younger teens. To help myself and get out of bed each morning, I write down three things to do in a day. If I get one done, I'm happy.
I suppose if I go back to the blog at this time for the last 5 years, I'll have been the same way.
Still it has been a stressful year and I haven't opened a vein yet not even when I weighed myself on Sunday. Eating is not an option to make myself feel better neither is drinking and it's too cold to go out spending money. I think it's winter blues, greys and dead browns.
When's spring?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The jungle or politics, it's all the same

Researcher, Dr. Greg Johnston from Flinders University and Adelaide Zoo has been studying the rold of bright colours in frog breeding behaviour in the Panamanian rainforest.
He said, "They're brilliantly coloured. They're green on the back, they have bright orange feet, they have gold and blue stripes on the side and they have bright red eyes and they have purple flashes on the thighs." (Lady Gaga of the frog world)
When the frogs strike a particular pose that displays the bright colours on the side of their body, they start shaking the branch they're on. What Dr. Johnston noticed was whenever they displayed this behaviour, they were also doing what looked, to him, like little tantrums.
The research team also used a miniature seisomograph to measure the vigrations made by the frogs to make sure they were not the product of wind or some other random movement.
Johnston and colleagues set up contests between male frogs and found they interchanged vibrations until one frog finally gave up, or the two had a fight to determine who would stay. They also put together an experiment using a robot frog to play back vibrations to male frogs in the field. They reacted to the robot as if it was a competing frog.
I'm trying not to say it but I can't help myself, isn't that so male, flashy, tantrums and sex.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Why am I still sitting like a frog on a log?
One problem from last night, not from the connection but the fact that I confused the poor Telstra boy so much he forgot to swipe the card and while I'm telling him the connection is working well, he's telling me I haven't paid for it and he's about to get fired.
So it was walk to the bus, sunny and almost warm, get out at Cheltenham and drop off the rest of the gemstones for testing, have coffee, catch another bus to Southland and stagger round to Telstra. It's been a long time since I had a male of any age almost throw himself at my feet.
3/4 of an hour later after three of them tried to fix up the account and swipe the card, I was free.
I looked at the movies since I was already there but not one good viewing at Gold Class and Prince of Persia was on at the Europa and the seats are a little snug in that theatre. Everything
else started too late so I took the money and blew it on lunch and a very large glass of wine.
And while I'm doing all that, Jules took the country. And I was so looking forward to referring to Kevin O'Lemon until the election. On the upside, I'll probably go back to voting Labor, sorry Greens but you'll be second on my list.
So I am home and ready to play with my new toy and blank. Computer still wants to play dial-up
and it's taken me a while to figure everything out. I just disconnect not take the little stick off the cord thingy. I am not good with electrical things.
Which brings me back to the beginning, sitting like a frog on a log waiting for pages to load.
And yes, The Age is ghastly with sound, I went straight over to ABC news which keeps its gob shut.
Redheads Rule.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Back as soon as I get broadband
Now going out tomorrow to do a deal with Telstra about broadband and telling Optusnet to get stuffed. Of course, I might have to do that with Telstra as well which means posting from the first internet cafe I find.
I blame the World Cup, Tony Abbot, Kevin the Lemon and the Solstice vibes, they're all bad.




