Saturday, October 15, 2005


MYZOCYTOSIS: Heterotrophic nutritional mode in which prey is suctioned into a food vacuole via a feeding tube or peduncle, and then digested. In other words, the predator penetrates the prey and eats it from the inside out, drawing in the cytoplasmic contents for dinner.
It's the opposite of phagotrophy, where the whole prey is engulfed and eaten from the outside in.
My science lesson for today and while I was reading about this fascinating myzocytosis, it occurred to me that I could make some money with this.

Oh, Mr. Costello, Mr. Treasurer, Mr. "I want to be P.M", I have a little plan I'd like to sell to you. A surefire way for you to rule our fair land. All you have to do is:

1. Leave a note saying you're in hiding to write the truth about the last five years of the Liberal party. This will ensure that the entire country and the P.M. will be looking for you in the wrong direction.

2. Sneak up on the P.M. and crawl up his bum. This part should be easy, you've been half-way up there for years so going the whole nine yards shouldn't be a stretch.

3. Suction the P.M.'s innards into your food vacuole. No problem here, you've been swallowing his crap for years about his retirement so what's a bit more.

4. Make yourself comfortable in his skin. This could be difficult as you'll have to shorten your outlook a little. (short person joke in case you missed it)

5. This is important. Remember to stand on his record not yours but since you're not around, blame yourself for everything that goes wrong.

6. Look kindly on those who have helped you on your torturous road to the inner workings of Prime Ministership.

7. Put out a press release saying that Costello has joined Latham to build a commune in the wilderness.

8. Really, really important bit. Do not exult in your triumph. One smirk and the game is up.

1 comment:

River said...

You forgot #9
9. Hope the PM doesn't fart or get diarrhoea.