Monday, October 24, 2005

WEIRD SCIENCE

"A beer mat that can tell when a glass is nearly empty and prompts bar staff for a refill has been created in Germany. The mat contains a pressure sensor to detect when the drink is running low and a radio transmitter to alert the bar."

A goodie for the blokes and I'm sure it will be a hot item. Now to follow up the drinking part could we please have some research into an automatic toilet seat that reminds a man to put it down before he leaves. Perhaps an infrared beam that puts the seat up and down when a useless appendage is waved in front of it. What it is with men and their inability to drop a plastic seat? I know I'm asking them to multi-task, shake drops, zip up, put seat down but it's not rocket science. Considering how they pride themselves on their aim, what's so difficult about leaving the seat down in the first place? Before the argument starts, yes, women can pee standing up. We might not be able to write our name in the snow but we can dot the i. It's just that we prefer comfort over expeediency (joke there).

The Germans are an efficient mob and have come up with an invention for women. Equality, wow.
It's a titanium bra, a breast implant.
"The titanium and polyester mesh cups are fitted to each breast and stitched to the breastbone and pectoral muscles for support".
Newsflash, researchers! I have titanium knees and in winter they freeze enough to sink the Titanic. The thought of carry around two ice cubes in my chest doesn't do it for me. Even the thought of the pain factor has my eyes watering.
If you think the lines at airports are long now, wait until the TT's (short for....) start flying. "Good morning miss. Is that a bomb you're carrying or just your TT's setting off every alarm in the terminal?"

We women though like to share and we know some men out there would love a little lift and separate. A couple of titanium and polyester mesh cups later and they really would clank when they walked.

1 comment:

River said...

"A beer mat that.....prompts for a refill.."
Bad idea. That would only encourage more consumption surely, since the glass would never get empty?