Friday, December 09, 2005

THE SHOPPING REPORT

There's a geek alert for PowerHouse, in other words don't bother. No cute geeks just geeks. There's nothing left for me but the underwear department at David Jones.

I found a new shop. Lovely beaded dresses and I love beaded dresses. Unfortunately the shop is full of mirrors, nasty mirrors, the kind that tells you 'your bum looks big in this' without being asked. I've put on weight according to these mirrors but I think I've just developed big muscles from sitting at the computer. It's all that mouse moving and keyboard touching. I'm lying, I haven't done one exercise all winter except lift hand to mouth.

The above was payback for looking at fat tarts in stretch pants and making mental rude noises. If you must wear them, at least get a shirt that covers most of the offending hectares.

I nearly killed a kid. It was a reflex action, I couldn't help myself. It was his fault, shrieking at that high a pitch behind me when I've had a bad week and just come out of a mirror shop. What are mothers thinking of? To reach that high a key, he has to practise so he must do it at home so why don't you stick a spud in his mouth, like up an exhaust pipe on a car. Done properly he'll take a week to spit it out or implode, either is good.

Safeway put my Nimbin cheese up 30 cents. Nearly $6 for cheese! Just because it says Nimbin doesn't meant it's full of that other Nimbin smokin' stuff but at that price it should be.

The taxi door shut itself on my shin. It was okay, it took my mind off the rest of the pain I was in.

The day was saved by a blonde munchkin and I can't believe I'm saying that. She sat down beside me with her furry stuffed emu while Mum was buying her a sugar overload of doughnuts.
After arranging emu on the table, she proceeded to tie a Christmas sparkly band to each of its legs. She explained to me, very seriously, that they were the same as she had in her hair but as an emu doesn't have hair or ears that stick out, she had to put said Christmas sparklies on each foot. I spent 10 minutes watching this operation and listening to a lecture on emus by someone that could barely see over the table.

It really is the small things that make me happy.

2 comments:

Gerry said...

Were We Separated At Birth - Pt 2:

Nimbin cheese. It's what my munchkin/bunchkin/punchkin (depending on mood) love to eat. (Yeah, the rest of yuze can laugh...)

What is going on? Are you going through our garbage and bugging our home?

JahTeh said...

This is getting scary. Thank goodness, I don't drink Cab Sav.