Tuesday, June 13, 2006

MY KNEES

My Knees. Very expensive. The operation hurts, lots. I had it done twice. I was going to put up selected highlights from the operation report but it even turned me green. They did everything with my leg except score a soccer goal, twice. I got to keep my own kneecap, not this plastic one.
The peg down the middle of the long bone is hammered in and the top of the bone is cut off and levelled. Keep looking at this and ignore the steaming pile of Yak turds in the room, it's only Howard and Ruddock stealing legislation. They'll pass into nothingness in time but Gays and Lesbians will still be here, being civil unioned by a more tolerant society than this miserable remnant of Christian Crawlers Anonymous.

As I was saying about meteorites. This is a quote from Guy Consolmagno of the Vatican observatory in Arizona, and curator of the Vatican meteorite collection in Castel Gandolfo, Italy.
"Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which is a kind of paganism."
The Vatican's meteorite collection????

And back we go to Antarctica. Jennie Whinam, a botanist with Australia's Department of Primary Industries in Tasmania, and colleagues from the Australian Antarctic Division decided to check what sort of alien organisms might be hitching a ride on the expeditions to remote sub-Antarctic islands. They used vacuum cleaners and forceps to suck and pluck every seed, spore and plant fragment. From 64 arrivals, they found 981 seeds and fruits belonging to 90 species, some of them invasive and a serious risk to local flora. The majority came attached to the Velcro fastenings of clothing and gear.

The Swiss inventor of Velcro got the idea from the prickly burrs entangled in his dog's coat. The fine hooks covering the burr had become so emeshed in the dog's fur, it was almost impossible to separate. So full circle and an invention is now doing exactly what Nature has been doing forever. Now don't give another thought to those Yak turds, Nature will fix them.

15 comments:

rae said...

I resent you referring to ANY pollies as 'yak turds' as I consider the term way to exotic and not nearly derogatory enough.
keep up the good work.

rae said...

bugger, I meant 'too' not 'to'. Damn public school education

JahTeh said...

Honestly rae, is there a term derogatory enough for those two. Pile of steaming elephant dung seemed a bit grand and I like elephants. Pile of dried rat's droppings doesn't rise to the heights I needed. It was a dilemma until I saw a National Geo picture of a Yak, like Goldilocks said, it was juuust right. Good on public schools or you might have grown up a liberal voter.

Armagnac Esq. said...

My ma had this op. IS your 'new' knee working ok now? I also had a knee op, they were going to reconstruct my anterior cruciate but when they went in they found it there all along, somehow stretched off to the side where it couldn't be seen or do any good. So then they just closed up again. That was two years ago, my knee still hurts almost every day and I haven't gotten back to the strength levels I had before my non-operation.

Now I don't trust doctors and won't go near them for anything.

Gerry said...

Now don't give another thought to those Yak turds, Nature will fix them.

Your understanding of Nature, Yak turds and humans is flawed, JahTeh.

Nature is about to "sort" millions, if not billions, of humans. Sadly, those humans and yaks who are causing most of the problems are also the very ones crafty enough (or rich enough) to survive Nature's wrath. Those doing the starving and dying will be the poor innocent schmucks.

That's what's wrong with Homofuctus (and the subspecies Homoyaccus): They've figured out how to make others suffer from the damage they cause. But if you try to help nature fix the problem by assisting them to 'evolve' into Homoextinctus, they call you a terrorist. It's all over, Red Rover...

Grrrrrrrr... Oh, I just remembered my mantra..."I am a pacifist, I am a pacifist, I am a pacifist, I am a pacifist, I am a pacifist, I am a pacifist...

Gerry said...

Did I say yaks? Sorry. I apologise to the yaks. I meant "yak turds".

Gerry said...

Corrigendum: delete "homoyaccus" insert "homoyakturdus"

Normal programming will resume shortly. In the meantime, please stare intently at the test pattern...

JahTeh said...

Loosen the straightjacket Bear, the blood's not getting to the brain. What do you mean 'about to sort', she's doing a fine job already. Would you like to book a seat in my spaceship, I'll be leaving before the end.

The Armaniac Daddy, all titles correct now. I've had both knees done and they work fine except they freeze in cold weather, no warm blood going through the steel bits. Nice of the ex to pay for them although the money he spent on his blondes while I was in hospital would have been double that.

Crystal said...

That kneecap would make a stunning brooch ?

bleached .. think Georgia O'Keeffe .. add a pearl bead here or there.

showstopper.

What's that?" they ask.

My kneecap, you reply.

deafening silence.

Brownie said...

Politician, (noun)(adjective)(obscenity); a yak turd floating in a river of snot.

(today we have Bracks CREEP Crew playing dirty on the Baillieu family, whose only crime is to be 1. an elected member of state parliament, and 2. descended from a guy who thought founding BHP would be good for the country.)

JahTeh said...

That's very descriptive Brownie, goes right to the sensory overload. I haven't caught up with the Bracks thing, yesterday was a bad bad day.

Gerry said...

Yes please, save me a seat, JahTeh...

I wanna get off this planet. Real bad...

JahTeh said...

Consider your seat saved. Bears are an endangered species.

comicstriphero said...

Is the operation worth it?

It has to be nice to have something in there between the bones.

Cartilage is such a fond, but distant, memory.

JahTeh said...

CSH, The op is definitely worth the pain involved but they don't like doing it if you're too young, 49 in my case.
The reason, you'll wear out the new knee because you'll walk on it longer. I was lucky with the third specialist I saw who saw me as a challenge.