Monday, September 11, 2006

IT'S SPRING, PASS THE TISSUES

You just know it's going to be a bad day when you wake up and sneeze 9 times with a full bladder.

Something has suddenly begun to bloom and my eyeballs are hanging down near my chin.

My teeth are aching where I haven't any teeth.

My voice sounds like Paul Robeson except when I sing.

No, I'm not going to the quack's and let him do the scratching up the arm with sharp instruments to see what it is that I'm allergic to.

I might find out it's the cat and I've just wasted $400 to keep him alive.

Pardon me while I go and cross my legs, there's a sneeze coming.

7 comments:

Lord Sedgwick said...

Well bless you, and your hopefully super absorbent Cottontail knickers - the knickers designed and sized to cover entire continents - even incontinents.

JahTeh said...

Back to your old habits, Your Lordship, I'll just get the number for 'Snowdroppers Anonymous'.

Zoe said...

Why the heck are you people so witty? It's great.
I hope Im that witty when I get to your age!
hehe
xxx

Lord Sedgwick said...

Zoe, my sweet (have to say something nice to you on account of me very precocious granddaughter is also a Zoe - and can at the age of 4 turn on the 'puter, type in my password - garnered by observation alone) we are more witless than witty. Something that even me crutchless cottontailed strumpetty mate Coppertop might well agree with. (If not there will be searching questions in the house!)

(She might, however not agree with my unforgivable 'with' dangling preposition.)

And another thing young Zoe, watch yer language you can have yer mouth washed out with carbolic for less than profanities like "heck".

JahTeh said...

Damn those Lemurians, they ate my comment.

Zoe, you should listen attentively to His Lordship who has all the witlessness and wisdom given to the extremely aged.

phil said...

Can he sing like Paul Robeson, though?

JahTeh said...

With a little incentive, like hands in the right twisting position, His Lordship can howl in High C.