RACES = MONEY OR NOT

My sister the horse genius backed Tawqeet yesterday. Boo to everyone who wouldn't listen to her just because of her appalling lack of winners lately. Being slightly pissed on Friday night and looking like running out of VB, she conned the Brick Outhouse into going to the bottle shop. She was also out of change so he sprung for the cans, in return, she backed the horse for him. He went into shock after she rained $20 notes on his head. I asked her why she didn't get the trifecta and I'm shocked that my baby sister knows such rude gestures.

The SHS was full of fun articles and news today. The saviour of the world and scourge of terrorists, the glorious US of A has a new enemy to hunt down.....VEGEMITE!!! It has folate in it and the US only allows that in bread so now our beloved icon is a hunted fugitive. To think we allowed their obesity pills also known as Krispy Kremes freely into our country. That's this country's problem, we're generous to a fault.

Our Nic's hubbie is in rehab. The government is talking about getting serious about crystal meth, too bloody late as usual. But they do have our welfare in mind and are planning to ban a really dangerous substance.....hydrogen peroxide. Now that is what I call a very blonde moment. This chemical in large quantities can be used to make bombs and I will resist the urge to make the obvious joke here. I'm lucky, red hair dye only gives you cancer.

The Pope has said Catholics had to defend matrimony and the introduction of laws on other forms of unions which would only destabilise it. Just the usual gay wedding beat up but at least our government is doing something concrete to protect marriage, they're getting the blondes off the street. Cop that Benny!

Bag snatchers are on a good thing with women's shoulder bags holding thousands of dollars worth of items that are easily converted to cash. Hahahahahaha. Take mine, please. Convert my rubbish to money, lord knows I haven't been able to do it. Just leave my lucky green frog hanging from my empty purse. Leave the purse as well I hate buying a new purse but you can take the book of stamps, they wouldn't give me flower stamps this time and I hate pink cars.

I have a new responsibility and I hope I can keep it up. I have to tell Mum what day it is when she rings in the morning. The first thing I do in the morning is think what day it is, not likely. The first thing I do is check for breathing, what day it is comes way down the track after the second cup of coffee, after what should be the second cup of coffee. I've been drinking complexion tea (you touch that Sedgwick and you're gone) which tastes like grass in hot water and I'm still waiting for the miracle. The other tea I have is calming tea which also tastes like grass in hot water. My sister says it works for her and how would she know, she's using $90 face cream. Perhaps it's the grass that's giving her the inside on the horses.