Saturday, December 30, 2006
ANOTHER LAST POST
The geriatric pillock of a cat had a 'Grande Mal' seizure which could be a brain tumour or heat stress. The heat stress is unlikely since he hadn't moved off the feather cushion in six hours. He slept it off in the garden, came in and stared at his empty dish, which I immediately rushed to fill and is now sound asleep behind the couch. He was going to sleep under the side table but gave me a look that clearly said there's cat piss here and went behind the couch. He may not have another one so it's wait and see time.
Mother. "What's your sister's phone number? I've forgotten it and I can't remember what pills I have to take at 7 o'clock."
Me. "What's wrong with me telling you about the pills?"
Mother. "You're not here."
Me. "Are you holding the pill docette?"
Mother. "Yes, I'm not an idiot."
Me. "Are you on the row that says Saturday?"
Mother. "Is today Saturday?"
Me. "Find the two pills marked 'tea' and take them."
Mother. "Do I take them before or after tea?"
Me. "You've had tea, take the bloody pills."
Mother. "How do you know? You don't know everything."
Me. "I was talking to sis when you rang, I know you've had tea."
Mother. "Are you two talking about me behind my back?"
Me. "Take the pills."
Mother. "I take the two pills marked tea and today's Saturday. See there's nothing wrong with me."
Between her and the cat.............