Saturday, February 24, 2007

"THE EARTH WILL PAY FOR THIS"


I just loved this. It brought back memories of having to bath four cats. It was during my 'no dangerous chemicals for cats and kids stage' when I decided to use herbs to rid the animals of fleas, er, just the cats not the kids.
First catch all the cats and cage them. Boil up the herbs, rosemary was one that I remember and let them cool but not cold. Then pick out the cat most likely to rip your arms to shreds and that's the first in the tub. If we left that one to last, fear was magnified to terminator strength and we had no hope of avoiding lethal injuries.
It was one to hold and one to wash and both to scream abuse when the claws got moving. Then it was a big fluffy towell, usually mine and the cat was handed to one of the kids to dry it off while the next victim went in the bath. After they were all washed, I used the hair dryer to finish off the fur. I wasn't stupid, I made the kids hold the cats for this. The combing out of dead fleas was supposed to be next but the herbs weren't up to killing off the industrial strength vermin this lot used to pick up.
It wasn't long before the spot on the back of the neck lotion came on the market and I didn't care how much it cost (it was plenty). We flea bombed the house, the cats, the dogs and the kids. Flea free at last, then the kids brought home lice.

10 comments:

Kelly & Sam Pilgrim-Byrne said...

There's nothing more sad looking than a wet cat!

JahTeh said...

Girls, you must visit this site, I have never seen so many hateful stares from cats.

Andrew said...

Cats and dogs pray to the inventor of Spot On and so do their owners, well anyone old enough to remember flea powder.

Link said...

Make pussy do his bit
or
an ancient folk formula for bathing your cat


1. Raise both lids of the toilet and add 1/8 cup of shampoo and 1/4 cup of toilet cleaner to the bowl.
2. Approach the cat whilst uttering soothing noises to reassure him that all is well in his world.
3. Carry cat to the bathroom, and in one smooth but firm movement place the cat in the toilet bowl and quickly close both lids.
4. You may at this point stand on the lid, (this is optional, but desirable).
5. At this stage you will hear your cat issuing unusual noises and frantic scratching from within the toilet bowl. Do not be concerned, this is the cat self-agitating the mixture to make ample suds. (This is the wash cycle). Reassure yourself that the cat is actually enjoying this. Under no circumstances raise the toilet lid during this stage.
6. After a reasonable period of say, 3 – 4 minutes reach down and flush the toilet, full-flush. (This is the power wash and rinse cycle). Repeat this at least twice more. (For those who appreciate a soft pussy, you may wish to add a little softener to the top of the cistern just prior to the final rinse cycle).
7. Have someone open an outside door closest to the bathroom door. Make sure there are no people or unstable obstacles between the bathroom and the open door.
8. Stand down from the toilet lid. Make sure you keep a firm hand on the lid, stand well behind the bowl and swiftly raise the lid.
9. The cat will rocket out of the toilet bowl, through the bathroom and out of the house. (This is the spin dry cycle). Do not worry about placing anything on the floor as it is unlikely that the cat will touch the floor between the bathroom and the outside. Be sure to choose a sunny day so that when the cat reaches the outside, warm air will provide the heat/dry cycle.
10. Observe. Both the toilet bowl and cat will be sparkling clean.


PS: Do this at least weekly. Tip from the dog.

JahTeh said...

It wasn't so much the dogs and cats Andrew, but the fleas in the carpet. I saw a program once which showed the fleas activating at approaching footsteps and swarming up the legs for a bloodfest. The flea powder was out that night.

Link, that is brilliant, you must ask Davo for his tome on how to give pills to a cat. Just in case you don't know, it is a kid thing to put the cat in the toilet, don't ask me why, they just do.

Gerry said...

ROFLGO, Link.

Zoe said...

Holy hell, It's 'mophing' into a GREMLIN, Im not fond of cats as it is, now I will definately be having night mares!

Zoe xxx

JahTeh said...

Zoe, you're a witch, you're supposed to like cats. Do cats do that thing where they crawl all over you because they know you don't like them?

Anonymous said...

This is a rather boring comment but I'll place it here in case anyone really needing to bathe a cat reads this.
We placed an old screen over the laundry tub and attached a short hose to the faucet. The cat could grab onto the screen and feel a bit more secure getting to stand on her feet. And of course the water filtered through into the sink.
It's pretty much still a 2-person job though.

JahTeh said...

Thanks anonymous but tell me, how do you get the claws out of the screen after the bathing part? One cat we had put claws through the rubber gloves and walked off with them.