MY DDDAY

I have a little rant about my mother every now and then otherwise I'd be creeping out in the moonlight strangling small nocturnal animals.

This was my day.

Unscramble the usual scrambled morning phone call.

Fall in shower after shoving can of food into whining cat.

Walk slowly (bum and leg hurting) the 3kms to nut house.

Have fight with sister after telling her not to lose my book. Advice I feel is justified to someone who's thrown out TWO telephones.

She's brought the vacuum cleaner back with the news that it's not sucking up. Sprinkle carpet powder to check theory.

Spend fruitless half hour looking for phillips head screwdriver (nail file doesn't work).

Look in laundry for screwdriver and find water leaking into the washing machine. Turn off taps and power point.

Go through mental map of when I cleaned the sewing room (well....doesn't everyone keep screwdrivers in their sewing room) and bingo! Plastic box, 2nd shelf, near the window.

Undo cleaner which is harder than it sounds because I can't sit on the floor. It needs a new belt.
Can it wait until Thursday, no, cleaning lady comes on Wednesday.

Call cab, grab ATM card, check fridge before she can get in with "Can you......."

Get new belt, spot cleaner for carpet, pay phone bill, trek to opposite end of Westfield to Bi-Lo.
Too many good specials to leave so buy another green bag.

Bypass custard tarts because I left mother getting a jam sandwich for lunch.

Buy a fresh rolled apricot and macadamia chicken roast because she couldn't remember how to cook the frozen one.

Joy, two taxis at the rank. First one is the driver who brought me here so he gets a tip for remembering where to take me home.

Mother trundles into kitchen to make the jam sandwich I left her making an hour ago.

Check pills after hysterical phone call late Friday night.

Ring Chemist. Pill boy is new and mother confused him. He was to hand her the new docette, she was to hand him the outdated one. A simple operation that ended with her keeping the old one and him taking back the new one. I understand his confusion.

New docette will arrive tonight so I have to stay and check it.

Halfway through unscrewing vacuum, I am called to the kitchen to crawl in the pantry and retrieve the frypan lid. I finally get it out with the broom which is how she got it so far in there in the first place so she tells me.

Mother says she's tired and goes to sleep.....again.

Back to vacuum, trying to remember knack in getting new belt on. Swears, a lot. Right, put it around the roller first then take roller and belt to the steel thingy. Put roller back in its slots while pinning machine to the carpet with both feet. Screw the whole lot back together......again.

Sprinkle carpet with powder to check sucking up is working.

Carpet powder is missing, retrieve from mother's walker, sprinkle and sucking up is fine.

Feed cat - hers.

Feed mother.

Ring cab which arrives at the same time as Brick Outhouse. Take cab in preference to folding into a VW.

Feed whining cat - mine.

Feed me. I have been gone eight hours.