1. Laugh hysterically at anything that has the word "fit" in it.
2. Open 15 cans of cat food, a day, for notoriously fussy geriatric pain of a cat.
3. Walk to the shop for milk whenever the snivelling swine of a cat wants it.
4. Build up biceps by turning pages of cake recipes and wiping drool from chin.
5. I'm all for spectator sports. Anything that walks past me in tight jeans will get mentally stripped and in case you're wondering that strengthens the eye muscles.
6. I dance very gracefully, it's the fat that wobbles. (don't come looking, nekkid dancing is over, summer's gone)
7. I ride horses, ice skate and climb mountains. (try proving I don't *blows raspberry*)
8. I'd like to swim, but whaling season, you know. I'd like to surf, but shark season, you know.
9. I lift weights, these artificial knees weigh a ton and the body ain't made of marshmallows.
10. I walk kilometres, to the fridge, the computer, the coffee shop, the pub.
I tag anybody who can tell lies better than I do.