Of course I don't believe in astrology which is why I read Jonathon Cainer every morning just to be able to say that night, "It didn't happen". Today though he really had me in mind.
"Imagine a world where laughter is forbidden by some dire, dour, despot. Anything even remotely amusing is banished and banned. A rebel like you, in such a world, would join an underground society of illegal gigglers, gathering secretly in soundproof rooms to trade jokes."
He's not wrong. I've written before about this family's shocking sense of humour in inappropriate situtations. Helen from the CastIronBalcony had a distressing evening a few weeks ago when she introduced male/female friends only to have the male behave like a complete moron although he probably felt safe asking for a blowjob in a crowded place. If I had been on the asking end of this question, laughter would have been heard on the International Space Station. I would have asked him for a rubber glove and two large sticks before I touched him while laughing fit to bust.
Helen's friend was a lady but I'm far from refined and sarcasm to reduce a sexual pest to his lowest common denominator has always been my stock in trade. Marriage gave me opportunity to refine this skill (apols to those with happy marriages) into an art form. A run in with me might have taught him to keep his hands and his guttermouth away from all women in future.
Jonathon then continues with my daily advice,
"In one (and, I hasten to add, only one) area of your life now, you appear to be suffering from sense of humour failure. The reasons are understandable enough. But soon, you'll feel better. To hasten the process, smile."
Okay, smiling like a Great White but it's not doing much good. Forgot to get an Ozlotto for tonight so I won't be rich tomorrow. Spend an hour on the phone with Mother revising the shopping list I spent an hour doing with her yesterday. Overnight, she has gone off that brand of bread, that taste of biscuit, that type of chicken and she'd rather have the round flat things instead of the round flat things with the holes or the round flat things with grapes. That means get pikelets not crumpets or fruit muffins.
Can you see me smiling through the grinding of teeth?