Sunday, October 28, 2007

ACADEMICS ARE SERIOUS

This very definitely comes under the heading of humour.

Dr. Oliver Curry is a theorist at the evolutionary London School of Economics.

He thinks that the human race will one day split into separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures.

(Didn't H.G. Wells do a story like this)

Dr. Curry says these humans will be between 183cm and 214 cm tall and live up to 120 years.

(J.W. Howard lives to be 120, nah wrong height)

Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates.

(That's evolution?)

Dr. Curry says men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises (gay boys rejoice).
While women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts.

(He's obviously a horny 14 year old trapped in an economist's body)

After checking that this wasn't April 1st, I can only say that whatever Dr. Curry is smoking should be available for all.

22 comments:

Lord Sedgwick said...

"Dr. Curry says men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises."

What a whacko! What does he mean, "will"? Your Honour, the Defence tables Exhibits "A", "B" and "10CC".

"While women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts."

Wrong, wrong, wrong Dr Vindaloopy! Down here at the back of the cave we want women with glossy pert eyes and smooth hairless large breasts.

Brian Hughes said...

"He thinks that the human race will one day split into separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures."

What does he mean...one day? Round these parts we call them 'Us lot' and 'Chavs'.

phil said...

Well on the basis of that analysis, there'll be academics, and then the superior species (aka the rest of us).

Andrew said...

"Dr. Curry says men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises (gay boys rejoice)"

Duh, he is talking about gay boys.

Martin Kingsley said...

http://www.badscience.net/?p=316

Apparently, it's all a cute marketing exercise. Thank Christ for that, I was thinking all scientific hope was lost forever!

R.H. said...

A humorous academic is as rare as an honest pimp.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Careful there young r.h.! I'm as honest as the day is long.

Oh, bugger! It's daylight saving is'n't.

I retract.

R.H. said...

Yes, they tell me it fades the curtains.

This is true: I took an academic out one night and put the hard word on her, parked outside her place. She said no, but made me an offer: "I'll leave the curtains open and you can watch me get undressed."

I laughed, but she couldn't see the joke.

R.H. said...

It started me off anyway on my career as a Peeping Tom.

Blame academia.

Maria said...

I think Adolf Hitler already tried this one.

There's a really disturbing picture that comes to mind, of Dr Curry typing this thesis with one hand, while his other hand furtively ....

errrgh.

prude said...

I thinks Dr Curry has sex on the brain! He has lots of disgusting thoughts rampaging through his mind!

This is all he is thinking abouts?!

Dr Curry does not have the bigger penis, he IS the bigger penis!

JahTeh said...

Thank you for the link Martin, it was interesting reading. One of the commenters thought it was strange that the women would all end up looking like the idealised western version (or words to that effect) so Curry's still a twit.

Sedgwick, what a crock the only thing you want in a woman, is breathing.

Hughes is right, only round these parts we call them women and men.

Phil, there'll be academics and WOMEN.

You never know Andrew, you might have been breed out by then or everyone might be gay. (stop drooling)

Rh, these days to be a peeping tom you only have to stand on a street corner considering some of the outfits girls are almost wearing.

Thank you Maria, for that image coming (ha)so closely to my lovely recipe.

Prude, I think we all agree on where Dr. Curry keeps his brain.

I do urge everybody to go to the link Martin provided and see how this article was mangled for a short newspaper item.

Sedgers, have a win on Saturday? The horse whisperer won big time.

Lord Sedgwick said...

"Sedgwick, what a crock the only thing you want in a woman, is breathing"

Thanks Coppertop, there are some so unkind as to suggest we have no discrimination at all. Glad you've set the record straight (No offence Cameraface.)

Ah yes. It was "the Cox Plate we had to have".

Came home with the arse out of our Hardie Amies pinstripe strides.

However we managed to keep our Yves St Laurent shirt on our back. Yes true dinks, we always wear our traditional (usually lucky omen) YSL shirt to the WSC Plate. Why not ? It was our best Op Shop purchases ever. $5. Thank you Bairnsdale St Vinnies, circa 1980.

Picked the wrong female nag (no relation) and wrong musical omen. Plumped (no relation) for "Divine Madonna" instead of "Wonderful World" for our field quinella, thereby watching $150 in folding stuff slip through our fingers.

BTW, having watched the tsunami of 20somethings who seem to have taken over the time-honoured W S Cox Plate as part Mardi Gras, part pick up venue we make the following observation. ("Another yard of Port please Beulah, and could you change the typewriter ribbon while you're at it?")

Thank you dear. Now where were we?

Oh yes ...

"Lads, where did those retro suits, those Clark Gable moustaches and the pork-pie hats atop ponytails come from?! and lasses, if you insist on wearing high altitude heeled shoes, either get some practice in at barrier trials, find a better class of farrier or gain a little working knowledge of the laws of gravity."

Helena said...

just to say I enjoyed reading all the comments above.
peace and love to evahbodeeeeeeeee

R.H. said...

Sorry Miss J you don't understand, it's the difference between a perv and a peep.
A peep is what they DON'T want you to see, deliberate shows are worth nothing.

JahTeh said...

My apologies Rh, I perve but have never peeped.

M'Lord, the best part of the day is watching the fillies trying not to break their fetlocks getting stuck in the grass. Not regulars of course, one can always tell. Do you really have a vintage YSL shirt? And everyone says you're not worth much.

Helena B. O'Dyne, where did you get the duck?

R.H. said...

I'm taking you out on my rounds one night (have you got binoculars?). And don't worry, if you get bored along the way you can always pick up a bit of washing from the clothes lines.

-Peeping Robert.

R.H. said...

Bring your shopping jeep.

Brian Hughes said...

"Hughes is right, only round these parts we call them women and men."

You call 'women' council estate chavs in Oz?

JahTeh said...

You are deliberately being obtuse, Hughes. As you well know Women (with a capital W) are already the attractive, intelligent ruling elite and I dare you to tell H, she isn't.

Rh, your CV just keeps growing, snowdropping now. What are you doing with my stolen bloomers, making sails for a 12 metre?

Lord Sedgwick said...

Now there's an image to conjure with.

r.h. up snowdroppers' back alley in a barbed wire canoe without a paddle, with only Coppertop's 12 metre Cottontails between survival and an eternity in the Doldrums.

We want the film rights!

JahTeh said...

YOU PEEPING TOM! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WEAR COTTONTAILS? Bloody Google Earth, nothing's sacred.