Thursday, November 29, 2007

NIGELLA, THE BIG COOK

I was well underway at being pissed off by Ma when I read this article about Nigella Lawson. Ma rang in panic, she didn't know why she didn't have her medication for Tuesday because she was sure she hadn't taken it with her breakfast. That was because she didn't know yesterday was Wednesday and she hadn't taken the damn pills. After several, "Are you sure it's Wednesday?" I finally got the pills into her at 1.30 which meant about 14 hours without morphine. (I am aware that I'm writing this on Friday but it was Thursday when I started) My sister checked her out when she got home to find her roaming around trying to kill the spiders in her jacket and floating in the air.

Serves me right for having a laugh at her expense when I got up this morning to discover Huntzilla Rex on the ceiling. I thought the last huntsman was huge but this had it beat. I thought I might leave it until I came home but a closer look and I tell you that mother had childbearing hips. So I went to grab the pick up stick and a much much bigger bag than I usually use and even then it managed to race up the bag and start down the stick. Being an old hand at spiderwrangling, I already had the front door open and all went out with a crash. I was really brave in the open and had a poke at the arachnid which reared up with the fangs going like crazy.

So back to Nigella. One critic described her cooking style as "a heart attack on a plate". Another claimed that her new show contained "scenes of gluttony not seen since the golden age of the Cookie Monster". Then there are the website forums where commenters have been less than complimentary about the Domestic Goddess. FFS, why should Nigella take any responsibility for any adult person's obesity as one study has claimed. Cop this from a spokeswoman from the Medical Research Council who carried out the study.
"The problem is compounded because Lawson is seen as both posh and sexy, which makes people feel comfortable about eating a piece of fried eggy bread covered in strawberry sauce in bed. If it was a recipe created by Waynetta Slob, then maybe they would think differently."

Duh! I liked Ioan Gruffydds as Hornblower (a lot, drool) but it didn't make me want to run out and join the navy as a midshipman. I watched her last week and while I loved the Black Forest Trifle I didn't gallop into the kitchen and make one up. I liked last night's chicken roast and spent 5 minutes converting it to Tofu.

Her kids don't look obese and while she's no size zero, she's not obese either. While I do think adults are responsible for childhood obesity in many cases, that stops when the children are made to take responsibility for themselves. I love The Cook and The Chef and you wouldn't call Maggie Beer a size zero either but their food is fresh, it looks delicious and while I can't eat it, I can look and enjoy. I'd rather watch Nigella cook food than watch stick insects parade on a catwalk, where the only thing keeping them together is cigs, coke and the other coke.

17 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

"One critic described her cooking style as "a heart attack on a plate".

Which, in Nigella's case, has got to be a good thing because, gluttony and excess aside, she's still an annoying old slapper.

As for the media critics getting all uppity and p.c. about the example she's setting, presumably you don't get Two Fat Ladies (now One Fat Lady and One Rapidly Diminishing in Stature Lady) or the Hairy Biker's Cookbook in Oz?

JahTeh said...

Two Fat Ladies was really a heart attack on a plate and I love the Hairy Bikers but for real artery closer meals it would have to be Gary Rhodes in the one series they televised here. I swear he started every recipe with 'take half a pound of butter and three pints of cream'.
By the way I'm giving my full attention to your Roman blocks in the next couple of days now that the election is over, almost over there's one toad that's hanging on by one nth of a flipper.

Brian Hughes said...

Roman...we're back on the Celtic later tonight...although, for the sake of clarification (and to counterbalance your request in my guestbook) the Romans and the Celts were, apparently, on good terms around these parts. Cartemandua and all that. We're also famous for our witches round here...thy'd fit in reet grand.

prude said...

Hmmm which did I like better Nigella Lawson or watching Posh Nosh?

If Nigella is fat then what was Ian Hewitson?

These are the big questions I thinks.

very big.

Maria said...

I like the Cookie Monster!

I think it's a bit silly how people jump up and down about the fact that it's a problem that Nigella is hot and sexy and also creates large and rich portions to eat - what does she have the responsibility to do, mutilate herself?

Adults are responsible for what they eat, and they are responsible for their own kids. They may be influeced by celebrities but to blame celebrities is simply silly.

As long as the celebrities don't set themselves up as authorities and distribute information that is plainly wrong. It seems some people want to blame celebs for their silly infatuation and being suckered in to copying them - "Oh, I love your work on TV and I saw you wearing a such-and-such and now I realise it doesn't work for me - IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

I'm not sure if it's this infatuation, or is it just a bit of envy that Nigella is "posh and sexy" but is able to eat like a pig (or cooks like one)?

Like the way fat people absolutely hate the way some skinny friends can down three desserts, and therefore make up stories about how they must be bulimic.

I like Nigella's cookbook (I browse through one, Forever Summer). I don't care if it doesn't make me a size zero, not that there is a size zero in Australia that I know of. I think I'll try something out this weekend!

R.H. said...

I thought this heading said:

"NIGELLA, THE BIG COCK."

But no, and thank heavens.
It would have ruined Christmas.

Andrew said...

My cook has gone on strike. Poached eggs on toast, Subway, sausages and veg. Wonder what it will be tonight? Jam on toast.

Lad Litter said...

I hate cooking shows. But I fancy Nigella something chronic: dark-haired; doe-eyed; voluptuous. If only my wife looked like that... hang on, she does!

River said...

Jackie French is also not a size zero, and she eats mostly her own home grown fruit and vegetables.
I love Nigella's recipes, they look amazingly luscious, but I don't cook any of them, because there is too much dairy content. All that cream and real butter. Tastewise I prefer real butter and cream to margarine and mock cream, but sadly I have an intolerance, so have to severely limit these.

outofctrl said...

I adore Nigella- she's definitely brought sexy back to cooking. She doesn't get caught up in the low-fat/low-carb/low taste diet crazes so prevalent today and I find that really refreshing. Everything in moderation, I say.

JahTeh said...

As a Celtic witch I can tell you that faffing about with those romans wasn't all bad. Light fingers could pick up a nice bit 'o bling when they were in their cups.

Prude, Nigella is what I would call comfortably rounded. Ian Hewitson is supposed to have lost a great deal of weight but it must be hard if you're around food all day.

Maria, people love to throw blame around. I love her cook books but I'm far too lazy to do all that work. I used to do fantastic Asian cooking before it was fashionable but these days I'm lucky if I remember to marinate the tofu for 20 minutes.

Rh, your gastronomy is legendary in the Bingo set.

Andrew, anything to do with that nice big ship that docked? Bwca would recommend cold baked beans as a last resort before jammy toast.

Ladlitter, I'd fancy Nigella too if she was in my kitchen doing the cooking. That trifle was just deliciously decadent.

I know what you mean River. My trade off for eating full fat (low salt)Nimbin cheese is to have Nuttelex on my toast. It stops me eating too much bread, that and keeping the bread in the freezer.

OoC, I know you can cook with the best of them and you don't put on any weight either. Moderation should be stamped on every chocolate bar sold, I'd still ignore it though.

Maja said...

Jamie Oliver uses plenty of oil, butter and cream in his recipes and no one ever says anything about it.

What the hell do these critics know, anyway?

Maria said...

I think it's becase he uses the butter and oil for off-the-streets kids and turns them into chefs who make more buttery and oily food, so that's ok.

Some of Jamie's stuff is pretty healthy (he did a whole show on healthy food for kids at schools), some of it is pretty fattening. I don't see how any of these chefs get to be famous and versatile without dipping into sugars, fats and meats and oils, and dairy etc. If they all stayed with vegan food and refused to do any dishes with rich oils, butters, a variety of meats, creams, well-spiced and salted, sugary desserts; thye'd either be seen as not having the range of other chefs or being weak on flavour. I think it's up to us to choose which mix we'd like to sample.

I think I'd be disappointed if chefs went on a health rampage and no one had any desserts out any more, except how to slice up a mango! I like a bit of cake and ice cream and bikkies, even if it isn't the most healthy option!

Anonymous said...

I just made Nigella's Roast chicken form the Venetian Ghetto. It is a luscious pasta dish with pinenuts and raisins. Perfect for the commenter who can't eat cheese!

JahTeh said...

Thanks Maja, but the thing that gets me about Jamie is the way he throws chillies in everything. I know they're good for you but my eyes water just looking. They use a lot of fresh herbs but as a known killer of all growing things I have to buy them and they're expensive. I've already killed this year's tomato bush.

Maria, there used to be a great programme on SBS 'Cooking with Korma'. He's a Hari Krishna and vegan and I thought the food was fantastic but I wasn't ready to turn vegetarian at the time. Can't see me making the leap to vegan yet.

Anonymous is banned for making me drool on my keyboard. Venetian Ghetto is one of her cookbooks? I have a habit of flipping through cookbooks in the shops and memorising recipes.

Middle Child said...

Whaaat am I having for tea this Sunday evening... hm?

A lamb chop and a vegie burger wrapped up in foil and in the oven so I don't have to cook much.... a tumbler of cheap vino... tele... and writing some cards for my two daughters who never seem to manage to come home... perchance... the lovely loyal and very handsome doggie Thorn will sit by me and help eat my delightful cuisine...

as is his wont.

hazelblackberry said...

Huntzilla - thanks for the NIGHTMARES!