Sunday, February 03, 2008

THERE ARE DAYS...........

When I hate being a vegetarian. When I'm out at the line bringing in the washing and some fool is frying onions on a barbecue and I can smell sausages as well.

You just can't get that onion frying smell indoors, it's a barbecue thing.

I had potato and bean salad for tea.

I wanted sausage and fried onions in a slab of fresh bread smothered with tomato sauce.

I think I'm beginning to crack.

Repeat this mantra "tofu is your friend".

It's not working, time for the chocolate ice-cream emergency bowl.

17 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

I tried being a vegetarian for a while. There'd been too many naked lunch moments in the past. (I'd been banned from several cafes for that.) The biggest ephinany, however, came about a week into salads and soya meat when I smelt a bacon butty cooking and almost tore the waitress's head off. Now I bury my guilt deep beneath the philosophy of: "If God had meant us to be vegetarians he'd have given carrots and sprouts some bloody taste!"
I'm not proud of my slide back down into being an omnivore, but I pay my conscience money to the butcher and try not to think about it.

R.H. said...

Try roast carrots you silly cunt, there's nothing tastier.

R.H. said...

Hello darlings and I'm sorry to be up so early but I'm renovating my existence: a new life, an improved RH. When I was a working stooge at the Vacuum Cleaner factory and found out I couldn't even save fifty a week from my wages after I stopped taking work home at night I got angry, upset. Something had to happen, and it did. I quit, and began a career in UNLAWFUL ACTIVITIES! And darlings I'll tell you what, I received tremendous support, and encouragement -from all that squarehead law-abiding class of bastards who've "NEVER STOLEN A THING IN THEIR LIVES!" What a joke. Ideals and preachings are from nine till five, morality can't intefere with a bargain. Magistrates tut-tutting about hot goods in court rooms will kick and knock fine citizens aside to grab Swiss secateurs at half-price. I know, I've seen them. I ran a stall at Camberwell market for ten years making more in one day than I made at dirty Godfrey's in a month. I sold hot Trident knives to posh dames from Toorak and Camberwell and delivered during the week as well to their genteel morning tea gatherings at home. True. Giving them all a big thrill, turning up there as a real live dodgy character they'd only read about in novels and seen on TV! But I'd learned manners, I was refined, Camberwell market had taught me proper ways, I'd found out it's okay being a crook if you're suave about it, polite, considerate. You might be of low birth, and a thief, a crook, but it doesn't matter; manners excuse everything.

-Robert.
Yale.

Brian Hughes said...

Robbert,

You know what you can do with your roast carrot...and probably have done so frequently in the past.

R.H. said...

Get fucked.

-Robert.
Cambridge.

Brian Hughes said...

That's not very pleasant. I was only suggesting that you baste it in honey before you roast it...

Dysthymiac said...

I was going to say that.
Honey for carrots, nutmeg for pumpkin and also on brussels sprouts.

I cannot even go NEAR the meat section of a supermarket; and in general find it difficult to buy any food from asia and China in particular.
Waring: the inexpensive herbs and spices are all chinese and full of cyanide or DDT or whatever muck they allow there.

Bwca said...

actually cubed and stirfried tofu is excellent if tons of (non-chinese garlic and grated fessh ginger is added, with some good olive oil (not spanish because they are cruel to animals)

oh and don't get me started on this weeks american news about the abbatoirs expose.
and I hope kekovitch dies too

Lad Litter said...

Never contemplated vegetarianism, although I love them. I enjoy meat just that little bit too much. Resist the urge to succumb, JahTeh!

River said...

Urk! Tofu! (not a fan) Maybe you could have the barbecued onions and sauce without the sausage like I do?

Jacob said...

Did you always have a link list? Something looks different.

I can't believe you would deny yourself a good chunk of cooked beast. Your description of onions and sausages cooking made me voracious just now, I hope you're happy!

Lord Sedgwick said...

"tofu is your friend?"

With friends like that who needs enemas?

Ozfemme said...

Tofu is the sort of friend who makes you want to hide behind the couch when they knock on your door.

JahTeh said...

Our very own "Flash Harry" is Robbert. I'm very sad about your dear old dog. I've never left one of mine to die alone even if it's heartbreaking.

Bwca, the Chinese have just poisoned a load of Japanese with dumplings loaded with insecticide. I wouldn't touch any food from there including spices. The other day the choice was between Chinese and Argentinian Garlic. And of course not Spanish Olive oil, fresh Aussie olive oil which doesn't have to travel far.

River, please, the point is sausages and fried onions, together with sauce. Even I wouldn't look at tofu and tomato sauce.

Jacob, you sweet thing. I've had this blog forever and finally have links up and nobody but you noticed. I've even got a quotation in the header and found italics in the fonts.
If you stopped eating meat your hormones would calm down and you'd stop wishing for anything in pants to jump your bones.

Sedgwick, the same applies to you. A good tofu-ing would do you the world of good.

Bella, the secret is to deep fry it in rice flour and spices then add sweet and sour sauce. And that is why the diet isn't working.

LL, I can eat chicken but not red meat unless it's sausages straight off a barbecue. I'm not a fanatic about it, I just feel better if I don't eat meat. I hate winter nights when the whole neighbourhood seems to be having a lamb/beef/pork roast. If I don't stop I'm going to start chewing on my knuckles.

JahTeh said...

Thank you Fleetwood, egg and bacon and fried onions on a fresh bread roll straight from the Baker's. I am cursed with the memory of taste.

Maria said...

I don't mind tofu if it's done well, it's just I find that mainly at places it's the tofu they seem to muck up the most. A lot of places seem to have a "tofu and vegetables" dish as a vegetarian option while they serve other things such as fish, chicken steaks etc. My father always warjed me that if you see a place that has only one or two tofu dishes and does not do Asian food it was a warning sign that tofu was not popular there and they most likely did not know how to cook it.

And since Tofu really needs to be fresh to eat it, it was best to steer clear of tofu at such places.

Then I went to a Thai placewhere tofu was an option on all their dishes. I'm omnivorous, usually have a meat with one of their dishes, but this time tried the tofu, and it was awful - terrible texture, too tough. Seems to me many people can easily get meat or veges right, but tofu is more difficult for them.

I am not vegetarian but I like some vegetarian dishes; however I am pretty wary of many tofu dishes.

And tofu and tomato sauce ... oh god no.

JahTeh said...

I could not work out why some recipes said to boil it for 5 minutes but apparently the Japanese do it with soft tofu to keep the shape. Others eat it without doing anything but I couldn't come at that. And don't go near the tofu sausages and fake meat, ghastly and full of chemicals which defeats the healthy purpose. As for healthy, dinner tonight was free range organic chicken (I broke) and Vodka.