Tuesday, May 06, 2008

DRESSMAKING TIPS FOR THE STITCHINGLY CHALLENGED

1. Don't bother, buy them.

2. If you have to make them try to do it sober.

3. If you decide to get all arty and put in concealed pockets, don't cut out the pockets until you've cut out the wristbands.

4. If you cut out the wristbands properly make sure the back neck is going both ways not all the same way.

5. Don't panic when you can't find the scissors, you're sitting on them.

6. Don't cry when you realise you're cutting out fat dresses again from the fabric you were saving for the thin dresses you thought you'd be wearing by now.

7. Forget no. 2 and drink.

11 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

If all else fails, give 'em to Sedgwick. I don't know what he does with 'em, but he always returns them sticky and covered in green paint.

Ampersand Duck said...

You sound like my yoga teacher. She's always banging on about 'front thighs' and 'back neck' and 'inside feet'. We're supposed to not let our thoughts wander but mine end up thinking about weird cretures made from photocopied anatomy books...

Ampersand Duck said...

GAH
*creatures*

oh frik, the last comment had a 5-letter verification, and this one has 8. My punishment for not proofing my comment before hitting the button...

Jayne said...

Have you noticed lately that op shops are conspiring with all scrawny frock shops by hanging sizes 12 and 14 under the great bloody neon flashing sign of "LARGER SIZES"?!
With nary a size 16 or up to be had for love nor money!
Pass the Bombay Blue Sapphire, J !

River said...

Dresses? pfft! Jeans and t-shirts all the way babe.

JahTeh said...

Are you sure it's green paint? I've heard strange tales of a gaunt bearded creature haunting swamps.

&duck, that has just turned me off Yoga. I thought it was all stretch and bend not complicated instructions. Anyway I can still touch my toes easily especially if there's Gin on the floor.

Jayne, I'm on the wagon where op-shops are concerned. I wish you hadn't mentioned them, I can hear the siren song calling me.

River, Jeans on this barge arse would be deemed a crime against humanity.

Ann O'Dyne said...

JahTeh - you took that list outta my sewing basket, fess up!

&Duck: when there's 8 letters
I enter nothing and RTN, till I get 5 I can figure out.

re 'Sizing' .
that stupid bloody 2020 summit ignored this issue re conformity.

JahTeh said...

This is why I cut all the dresses out at the same time. If I cut one out and another in two months time and made the same mistake, there'd be twice the howling.

phil said...

No 7, see 2.

I like flow diagrams, they also make great patterns on clothes.

Just sayin' (as I believe the phrase goes).

JahTeh said...

Hello Phil, another member of the Sedgwick dress appreciation club, you are?

Middle Child said...

No. 7 sems fine with me.