Monday, May 05, 2008


I was unfortunate to have to endure 5 minutes of BB last night because I didn't want to miss the opening credits of 'The Revenge of the Sith'.

Channel 10 must be joking.

Or Channel 10 has discovered a way to remove a brain from a living person and turn them loose.

Channel 7 has put 'Stargate Atlantis' on so late that even I can't stay up to watch it.

And why? Because Channel 7 is showing 'Trinny and Susannah undress the nation'. A couple of pommie tarts who'd be right at home at BB are going to tell me how to dress. Two words, piss off.

My sister has a house guest who smokes (another rant). She smokes but always keeps the door open and tries to make sure the smoke doesn't blow over me.

House guest, who doesn't like BB so one point to him, is inclined to shut the door.

My lungs feel as though I've been smoking for years. My hair stinks. My dress, petticoat, bra and knickers are in the washing machine. My eyes feel raw.

I understand addiction, no cake shop is safe from my slavering jaws, but to feel like this every day is insane.

And just to round off the day, Mommie Dearest asked me to start looking for some new summer nightdresses to buy for her. Summer??? The only buying I had in mind was a ticket for the Orphans' Picnic.


nailpolishblues said...

Maybe you'll have one of those winter catastrophes where all power vanishes and, well, the icy night does what icy nights do...

Brian Hughes said...

"Two words, piss off."

Might take Trinny and Susanah a while to translate and absorb them seeing as they only have a collective IQ of three. Those two hideous old slappers are eveything that's wrong with the BBC, the channel that takes nepotism and worthlessness to whole new depths of meaning. "What you need is something to lift up your tits, dear." "Such as your constantly groping hands, you overly tactile old lesbian." Should be reneamed Two Fat Frumps.

Ann O'Dyne said...

Since the UK has 60 million people and the lowest 10% on an IQ scale comprises six million viewers, the I guess that explains why the godawful skinnyTrinny and clompy Constantine draw an audience.
I'm sure they have been bashed by at least one of their victims and that's the show I wanna see.

... or the show where they take your mum shopping for summer nightwear ...

Brian Hughes said...


Jo Brand, when she appeared on Trinny and Susanah, referred to them afterwards as a pair of annoying old slags. Not sure what she had to say to them at the time (because I can't stand the programme) but hopefully it was something scathing, although a simple slap round the chops would have sufficed.

River said...

I'll never understand why the channels think that people actually watch or want to watch such drivel. Every day I give thanks to whoever it was that invented the dvd player.
I'm with you on the smoking thing. I've given up visiting my son because (his partner is a deranged shrew) they both smoke like chimneys inside the house (with three children there sucking it up because, let's face it, they have to breathe..)and whenever I got home I'd have to shower and wash my hair and clothes immediately, then spend the next 3-4 days coughing up as if I were a long term chain smoker.The resulting headache is unbelievable. Gee i miss those kids though, haven't seen them since March last year.

Anonymous said...

oh dear, yes i know that feeling.

Fortunately, I don't hang around nor choose smokers anymore.
I'm to busy dealing with a ****head (the nice guy on the side helps though) Hehehehehe ****men is my attitude now!

you should have just left!

Hope you have a strong shampoo!


JahTeh said...

She's indestructible Nails, if I could bottle that willpower I'd make a fortune.

Funny you should say that, Fleetwood as I'm currently holding auditions for a luscious slightly muscular sweetly dispositioned tit holder. Make that two, one should always have a spare.

Annie if they grabbed me off the street and criticised my dress sense the show would have more bleeps than Gordan Ramsey. That's another revolting show which has almost turned me off food.

Annoying old slags with posh voices is right on the button and they didn't even bother to come to Melbourne, fashion capital of Oz.

I'm with you there River, haven't seen mine for two years. You really should get a blog, I'd like to hear more about the deranged shrew. I feel a wealth of blog material in those two words.

Why in the Great Goddess' name are Wiccans so bad at picking men?

Brian Hughes said...

"Make that two, one should always have a spare."

That depends on how big your tits are. In my case I'd probably need three.

Jayne said...

I have great pleasure in composting their images when the Foxtel magazine is ripped to shreds (great stress buster) by my lily white paws :P

JahTeh said...

Fleetwood, I'll be helpful here and suggest you use your stomach as a shelf. See, I could be Trinny and Susannah Oz Style.

Shame you don't live down my way Jayne. I just dragged the recycle bin out and those New Scientist mags weight a ton. I nearly dislocated a shoulder.

Ann O'Dyne said...

I love Jo Brand.

I cannot believe she went anywhere near those twits.

Ozfemme said...

*wondering who Jo Brand is*
*wondering where one buys tickets to the Orphan's Picnic*
*wondering if she is Wiccan*

One of the things that turns my stomach is when someone who has just smoked a cigarette sits anywhere near me on the bus to/from work. I'm tempted to ask them if they know how repulsive they smell or do they think that's just something non-smokers make up to be mean?