Wednesday, June 04, 2008

FOODPORNMEME

1. What food do you consider the best "date" food? In other words, what meal or food item do you think is sexiest to eat in the company of someone you would like to look sexy around?

The thought of me looking sexy near any kind of food is hysterical to start with but the choice is kind of limited. Nothing that will stick on teeth, nothing sticky to make teeth fall out, nothing that will melt in inappropriate places and please, no garlic.
It will have to be raspberries in Dom Perignon and in a very, very expensive crystal glass, better make that a large bowl, no, glass, I forgot the looking sexy bit. Perhaps a delicate silver pickle fork to fish out the raspberries instead of spearing them with a fingernail. That's a helluva lota work, can I slurp from the bottle and eat out of the punnet? Not Sexy enough?

2. What well-known person would you like to share a meal with?

Share??? Kevvie would probably say Grace. Prince Chuckie would want to talk to the flower arrangement. Elton would want to wear the flower arrangement. Aha! I see a loophole, it doesn't say which sex. Okay, I'm having tea with The Queen at the Palace if I can get my tiara back from Elton in time. The Queen and I have so much in common, she likes gin.

3. What does your perfect breakfast-in-bed look like? (food and the details, please)

Whaaat! Oh right, food part, you're not getting the details. Um, food, right, just wait a minute til I get my eyes back in focus. Mini croissants, several different preserves, fresh coffee, long black. Chocolates, Swiss-made, in a large box, for the choice. I mean I'll only have time for one or two.
Shut up, civilised people eat chocolate for breakfast.

4. What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?

Piled on top of the Pavlova he's holding. What other use would there be? REALLY, you can do that with whipped cream? Where does the Pavlova go?

5. Oh-God-No, Biff, the yacht is sinking! You are sent to the galley to retrieve the food. What luxury food items do you snatch first? The champagne? The caviar? Smoked salmon? Truffles? Chocolate? or something else?


Idiots! I'm on a yacht, I own it so I grab the cabin boy. The cabin boy I've personally trained to carry chocolate and a bottle of champagne 24/7 in case of this kind of emergency. I'd leave Biff behind, he's rather a bore.

21 comments:

CelloBella said...

hehe nice work on the meme - love your last line especially.
:)

Bwca said...

oh fer chrissakes you think I read all that?
the second I saw Mr Sultry lolling about
looking for lust, I lost all my concentration and just paged-down to leave this remark,
getting a startlement from Groovy
Gryffud on the way
thank you very bloody much.

Mindy said...

Best question ever: "Where does the Pavlova go?" I think we all need to know the answer to that one.

River said...

hahahahaha#4
And of course pavlova is the only place for whipped cream. Well, there's apple pie too........
I'd definitely leave Biff behind, it's probably his fault the yacht is sinking.

Brian Hughes said...

What food do you consider the best "date" food?

Rohypnol.

What well-known person would you like to share a meal with?

Pavorotti. Imagine the size of the courses and you wouldn't have to talk to him because he's dead.

What does your perfect breakfast-in-bed look like?

Pigs in blankets.

What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?

On a bacon butty.

What luxury food items do you snatch first?

The captain's.

JahTeh said...

One of these days Cellobella I'll take a meme seriously but honestly could anyone named Biff be anything but a bore.

Payback Bwca, for not warning me the Welsh studmuffin was in Hello Magazine. I nearly inhaled me cuppa, Phwoar, noice, drool. That one's going straight to the fridge door.

Mindy, one of life's eternal mysteries along with why anyone would want to waste whipped cream on a bloke unless he's Welsh and looks good in uniform.

Overrated is apple pie but apple crumble with cream, now you're talking.

Fleetwood, 'pigs in blankets' makes a change from 'sheep in fells'. Your taste is maturing.

Lord Sedgwick said...

4. What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?

Stopping the squeak emanating from wheel on the shopping trolley I take to the Vic Market each week.

(Sad but true.)

Forty years ago I would have rubbed it into my footy boots to keep them supple for my dominatingly spectacular four quarters at full forward for the Might Maggies.

Nowadays 'supple' is not a concept with which I (unlike your good gymnastic self) have even a passing relationship. (Much like my relationship with reality.)

Jayne said...

YUM!
Oh...there's food too???
Pass the cream, strawberries and whichever delicious male you're not using at the moment :P

Middle Child said...

Best and most sexiest food to eat - why I'd rip open a can of sardines in oil and eat the whole can - the ool would have its uses also no doubt - wassamatta I love sardines! i do!

Anonymous said...

What doesn't he go with, seriously?

And ...what doesn't whipped cream go with? Everything!

Nice post, Jt.

Morgana.

JahTeh said...

Sardines!!! Therese that would have to been one of the most unsexy foods ever. It would keep Biff on the other side of the boat.

Jayne, it's a good thing Andrew's away but I have to tell you I don't share Henry, he's quite a package, if you get my drift.

Your Lordship, I'm impressed. You were playing footy in your forties and at full forward as well.

I don't believe it, doorbitch says bwcarulj, damn brownies are everywhere.

JahTeh said...

I hope everything is whipped cream and raspberries for Morgana?

Ann O'Dyne said...

Doorbitch is always gonna say bwcarulz - the boggarts have stormed the battlements ... and I have to ask
IS there a SPACE on your frig for Lord Gryffud ?

Morgana said...

You're so sweet! but that is still an illusive luxury for this little black duck.....Haa... and to think I once danced as the white swan with the aus ballet.... irony is not without a sence of humour, Off to spray some wipped cream in my gob before bed...
Love to you.

Stay off the chokies you sugar junkie you!

Morgana.

R.H. said...

Greetings. It's half time at the football: advert TV, giving me time for a little comment.
I was going to favour you with my Mark Bahnisch comment, which I know you would wear very well, but there is a more important job for you.
Next time this money-grubber sneaks down to Melbourne, I'd like you to get a headlock on him, and hold him till I arrive.
I have a little donation for him -to hoist his spirits. -Not cash, no. But he will get a lift, all the same, ha ha ha.

Sociology is a pimp.

R.H. said...

Mark Bahnisch said...

Hallooo, greetings, you all know me. I used to have a beret, now I wear a pisspot on my head. Well my feminist crew at Laugharse find it very convenient...to whip it off and piss in it. tee hee. Then they put it back again. Unfortunately they forget to empty it first, tee hee hee. But I don't mind.
Sorry, but it's that time again. Yes well I don't like to be cadging donations everyday but dirty books are frightfully expensive -and brothels cost a fortune! But mind you, being raised on thrift of course, I do my best. For instance, mum often catches me flogging the parrot: "Good boy Marksy," she hollers. "Saving money again?"
Yes mother, about ten thousand dollars this week.

Sociology just doesn't pay enough. To support my lifestyle. Lesbians are my lifestyle. And I'll tell you what, if they know anything at all they know how to DINE! My word!
(I wonder what else they do. I mean...How?)
Never mind. And by the way, did you know that Pope Ernie xxxxcv only had one testicle. Fancy that.

Well hooray! Makes me feel less disappointed at having none.

Byeeeee.

-Marksy.
(It's that time again)

JahTeh said...

Rh, saw your comment at Dysthemia and saw the space where you'd been deleted at LP. Someone answered your comment. Strange thread. I appreciate you dropping by in the middle of an important footy match.

Morgana, ask me to do something simple like slaying a dragon but not to stay off the chocs.

Bwca, I'll have to make room, the picture's too small to stick on the bedroom ceiling.

R.H. said...

Yes well it was done by me but they were poor geoff's sentiments, he's not very articulate.

You'll be disappointed to know that I'm finished with this now -with this issue.

But may I say that I'd want no one less than you with your courage in battle.

One day you'll get the Victoria Cross.

R.H. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JahTeh said...

I'll always make room for your social commenting RH. There's a lot of life experience in people of our age and we've earnt the right to mouth off if we want to.

R.H. said...

My comment at LoonyPop lasted about thirty seconds; Marksie has the quickest trigger finger in Brisbane. I put two more up but he blasted me again. Goodness, sociology has some dead-eye sherrifs.