Saturday wasn't funny after I stood on the scales. I haven't dropped a gram in 8 weeks, nothing, nada. It's very disheartening especially when other bloggers have stuff about peppermint frogs which I read late at night and get a craving for. But according to the paper this morning, help is on the way.
A diet pill is going to be marketed here which will help people lose, on average 10kgs, in six months. Somehow I don't think it's the pill that does it. The side affects are so bad you won't want to eat food. Nausea, diarrhoea, constipation, insomnia and an increased heart rate. The drug affects the part of the brain controlling appetite, making people feel full soon after starting a meal.
When are these dumb arse scientist/doctor/obesity gurus going to finally twig that comfort eaters don't worry about appetite and feeling full? We eat because it's a tranquillizer, food makes us feel better. Food takes us to a place where we don't feel anything bad is happening. I am constantly trying to meditate, calm down, change my lifestyle and stick to portion size of anything I eat including peppermint frogs. As it is I'm too frightened to look up how many calouries are in gin.
After that bit of madness, I came across the survey from FHM magazine. Almost one in three Australian men say they want to marry a virgin. 41% wanted a bride who had had five partners or fewer (that's right - fewer) and only 5% wanted a bride who had slept with more than 15 men.
Okay, I guess that means men are officially crazy. Most of them wouldn't know how to identify a virgin for a start and no woman in her right mind would tell a man anything about the other men in her life. We are sensitive to the little green monster lurking in their puny minds, you know the one that wants to know the important details like, 'how big....?'.
But I leave the best til last. Some dreadful cyber vandal has been playing with Mick Keelty's wikipedia page and portrayed him as a deranged conspiracy theorist.
The unidentified hacker mockingly quoted Mr. Keelty warning: "The Americans should stop looking for Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan. I have particularly sensitive intelligence from aliens he's living in an outside dunny in Dubbo. At this time he is training terrorist pixies and raising an air force of stealth budgies to strike at the heart of the infidels."
I love it, terrorist pixies and stealth budgies, divine. I just wonder how long it would take the CIA to work out what a 'dunny' is?